Lady winona I AM A MAN OF OVER 30YRS LET ME TELL U THE TRUTH
1.Dont decieve ur self thinking u are SPECIAL TO DAT GUY,a man can do ANYTHING FOR SEX, Al d care,love,attn he giving u wil vanish d day he messes u up, Not dat HE HIS WICKED OR BAD BUT DAT JUST D NATURE OF GUYS,
2.He wont tolerate his wife f.uckng up as u ave done, meaning HE HAS ALREADY LOST RESPECT 4u, dnt get carried away by his courtsey EVEN ME AS A GUY I SHOW COURTSEY TO PIGS DAT DOSENT MEAN, i admire dem,
So dont tink u can change a law of 7000yrs wit ur short, n tiny brain, try n develope it wit realism

Stop hanging out with this man. ONE DAY certainly ur emotions might carry u away, don't limit de power of emotions, it can do harm

Stay away from the dude. Dont trust your body. Someday when you suspect your husband is having affair. You just will find yourself on bed with that guy and to be frank with you, you will enjoy the s.ex

Siena:

Guys, no need to get abusive. This is a topic for debate, which is what discussion boards are all about.

Winona, your feelings may well be inappropriate, but you've done the right thing, conveying your feelings to your husband. It's a natural human trait to appreciate the seemingly unattainable. I bet if you were single (or the other guy was) your feelings would most likely be different. Because he was available.

Just don't act upon your feelings, and it may be a good idea to keep some distance between yourself and this guy, because it's all too easy to act upon a forbidden relationship. Sometimes the element of risk is attractive, you need to question yourself - would your feelings for this guy be the same if you were both single? Do you feel neglected by your husband? If you do feel neglected, then you really need to talk to your hubby, and work upon what's missing.

Good luck!

www.mrmoleblankets.co.uk

https://www.mrmoleblankets.co.uk/products/design/small-blanket

Thats a non-too chocolatey version of your lil baby Sienna right? Or am I going blind?

mhmmm, just pray and u will have a solution

Lady Winona would say you and your husby should go for counselling and limit your communication with the other guy no good thing would come out of it.  You and your husband should talk things over and resolve the problems in your marriage cos what you feel for the other guy is just mere feelings and its not all that glitters that is gold. See a counsellor together.


Sometimes people have feelings towards the opposite sex even when they are married but what is wrong is when one acts on such feelings, we are all human beings and we do appreciate others so lets not say oh we dont look at the opposite sex sometimes and say oh he is handsome or she is pretty. When I see one I do appreciate regardless whether my husby is there or not. I have seen some of 'so called' married women here on nairaland who flirt with the opposite sex whether married or not with full description of their nighties and all that do you think God doesnt frown upon that of cos He does, I just wonder what goes on in the mind of the guys who they flirt with here. Sickening very sickening

Lady Winona

Pls read my short message below,this happen to all married women. It is happening to you right now.Be Wise!!!

They push men for commitment
They get what they want
They lose interest in sex
They become attracted to someone else
They start cheating
They become angry and resentful
They begin telling their partners that they need time apart
They blame their partners for their behavior, and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages.

I'll Advise Cut your Colleague off now Before its late.

Cut off this unhealthy friendship immediately

If you are a christian, you are committing adultery just by having this "attraction" for a man that is not your husband.

As a wife, you are setting yourself up for a fall. You  think you can play around in the field of sodom and gomorrah and not get entangled in the activities of the town?

Baby girl, wise up!! It only takes a split second to cross that line to physical kiss/Sex.

Pls cut it off NOW and focus on your marriage.

For your own good.  As someone said, some men would do anything to get you to bed, even play mr nice guy. beware of wolves.

Take care hun.

HMMM

@op it was first FRIENDSHIP second FEELINGS and third ,
aw was the feeling like when he did not come to ur crib. were u angry or disappointed
and were u callin him like every minute to know if he was still coming. or where u angry at him the next day at work and demand to know  he did not come.  if any of the three happened then there is more to it than the feelings

do u think his wife will feel the same way as ur husband
and in ur post u did not know u were going to end up having dis feeling for the dude and now u dnt know wat next. wen u get emotional attached to a guy, u both might end up on the same bed.
am sure he knows ur life history and u think u know his,

i think u should work the feelings back to friendship

This situation u find yourself is more common in many marriages than u think and its the basis for most mistakes of infidelity. There ought to be no one closer to u than ur hubby not that there won't be those who would attempt, but you should fight to keep it so.
A woman's heart is so fickle especially when She seems neglected by her real partner, guys easily sense this and can take advantage of it if u are not on guard. Therefore work your mind out of these feelings, they are never really permanent - YEs YOU CAN!

There is no perfect person and the truth is you will meet many more people with the exact  qualities you desire in your partner which are absent. But Love is a choice and sacrifice you stand with which brings the blessings in a marriage.
Learn to focus on your hubby and bring out d best in him, only u can really do that, that's why he chose you.

@ Poster,

Do you need any more advice, every commentator except perharps Nnamod have said it. Disengage from this evil relationship if you want to keep your marriage.

Listen to Chaircover. I think she has counselled you wisely.

Don't give excuses. Take the bull by the horn. Disengage from this evil man and do very fast. The more you linger the more dangerous it is.

Disengage from this evil relationship. A word is enough for the wise.

@Poster,

In your mind and heart your committing adultery. do you want when you do it physically you will know? having your attention to be on him or trying to see him at least once a day is typical adultery.

Pls lets call a spade a spade here. when your husband was on you before he married you you guys were tight and fond of each oda. you will always call and visit no one was in d picture and now your married the spark and fire of your marriage has gone down you have another person in your work place to give attention to.

pls like someone advised here talk with your husband and let the spark come back. stop seeing and desist from talks with that office man. the enemy will come in a manner that you wont know.

how is your prayer life and which verse/chapter of the bible supports this closeness to this man. the anti Christ will come as a man of piece and will deceive many, they wil collect the mark without knowing.

Pls and pls thank God you came here to air this out because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. how can you tell upcoming youths that your marriage is good when your into closeness with another man.

AT THE ALTER YOU TOOK AN OATH TO LOVE YOUR HUSBAND, SUBMIT AND CHERISH HIM IN ANY CONDITION. OR DID YOU ALSO TOOK AN OATH for that MAN in your WORK PLACE?

Please remove the hand of the Monkey in the soup before it will turn to a Human hand. a word is enough if your the wise.

Like I always tell people, the way you feel about someone now is not the way you sure would feel about that person some years down the line. My dear it is just rush of hormone, by the time the man bleeps you am sure he will head back to his enclave and you too. No matter how strong you think the feeling is max 3 yrs you guys will realized that you both have just been messing around and would head home to your various partner. My advice is the earlier you get your hormones down the better for you and the guy.

Think it this way, 'how will seun get more money without clicks on stories like this?' true or not i don't care. U can't give wot u don't possess, u're an 'adultrer', no more, no less. And abt nothin will happen side of ur shameful story, has anybody ever heard abt sex by induction? Imagine, she can't sleep, cos of another man! Biatch!!!

Woman, talk to me here; 08033992417 bc4love2010@yahoo.com . i have a piece of advice for you. Regards.

Mayflowa:

Ifyalways! you are just a good woman. Only a mother and God would give the sorta admonition and advice. That man is just taking advantage of her knowing fully where it will end. Bedroom of course! Let him go be the superhero husband and dad! He has taken it too far. He is a subtle seducer but OP will never know

@Mayflower, u're so on point. Dis guy seems 2 be a witty person and a SUBTLE SEDUCER like u rightly said but OP will never knw. IMO, i wud suggest that d relationship shud be checked. It's not wise to continue a relationship wit some1 u're developing feelings for or possibly having a crush on. Marriage has its many problems and as adults, we shudn't run away 4rm our probs,rather we shud face them squarely. Truth is most ladies are kool wit platonic relationships, but 4 d guys hell NO! 99.9 percent of guys wud just lure a vulnerable woman straight 2 d bedroom. I've seen wolves in sheep clothing. At first, they seem nice, caring, kind-hearted and almost perfect. Such guys will never make their intentions known. They wud simply play along and take u unawares before u knw it.

Most of these replies are NOT from married people from my own point of view. The way you see marriage before getting into it is totally different from the way it is after marriage!

Many are times you feel WHY DO I EVEN MARRY THIS MAN/WOMAN cos situation will always bring such moments. Right now am passing through the same phase,but I know I will soon overcome it. Why do people divorce or we want to claim it does not happen in our society?

In marriage,there are times you wish you are still single, that's life! It is full of up n down,gallops,bumps etc

@Op Since you are good with your husband now,move on with your life but I bet you one thing;their will be this guilt feelings as if you both played on each others feelings. It will hurt you most if your colleagues noticed that you guys are not that close again and start talking or your hubby might make one silly statement one day, so get prepared!

good man otumba, well said

lady winona, never say never
before you know it you are frolicking in bed
please withdraw yourself from the guy
i am married myself so i know where you are coming from. if that happens to me, i will do the same thing. infact i dont think i will not take it to the level of seeing the guy everyday.

I think you are just those typical ladies that exagerate feelings and dont have control over their feelings, i am not insulting you but you dont need to bring these issue to nairaland.

How i wish you were like my younger sister that deal with men at arm length

Have you collected anything from him because that is always the devil's bait?how as he helped you solve problem before?

Bible says flee all appearances of evil.

Yoruba people will say "we do not taste what we know we don't want to eat"

Cheating does not have to be physical, it can also be emotional.

Enough said.

[size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt]Lady Wiona,
I perfectly understand ur feeling regarding this issue with another colleague of ur in the office.
it is not completely abnormal to feel that way, even pastors confess that they feel that way for a particular lady at a time of their marriage.
but the truth is, u cant get anywhere with the friendship, it will only bring disaster and distrust between u and ur hubby, very soon ur hubby may start noticing, pple may even carry the rumors and it will forever strain ur marriage.
my grand Dad used to tell me, that they is no ordinary friendship between a guy and a girl. do no be decieved
what is wrong is wrong, you cannot cover it and paint it white.
more importantly, the feelings that is suppressed and hidden has a very big consequences, its just like drawing a keg of gun powder slowly closer to the fire and u keep assuring urself that u are in control, the only time u will realize u are not in control will be the time of its explosion!
I adivce you flee from all appearance of Evil, you may not live to tell this tale again!
best of luck[/size][/size][/size]

[b]Lady Wiona,
I perfectly understand your feeling regarding this issue with another colleague of your in the office.
it is not completely abnormal to feel that way, even pastors confess that they feel that way for a particular lady at a time of their marriage.
but the truth is, u cant get anywhere with the friendship, it will only bring disaster and distrust between u and your hubby, very soon your hubby may start noticing, pple may even carry the rumors and it will forever strain your marriage.
my grand Dad used to tell me, that they is no ordinary friendship between a guy and a girl. do no be decieved
what is wrong is wrong, you cannot cover it and paint it white.
more importantly, the feelings that is suppressed and hidden has a very big consequences, its just like drawing a keg of gun powder slowly closer to the fire and u keep assuring urself that u are in control, the only time u will realize u are not in control will be the time of its explosion!
I adivce you flee from all appearance of Evil, you may not live to tell this tale again!
best of luck[/b]

Just f**k him and get it over with. Once u do yall will both be surprised how quick these "feelings" will evaporotare. Yall are just lusting that's all.

As long as u kan discipline urself nt kross ur limits, dont fink ur fondness of him is an ish.

Siena:

Wow. They look great, BB. Are these your products?

Huh Sienna, what product Isn't that your daughter Sienna in the picture in the second link Though the pics is been whitened Plus she is named Sienna too, though has a different birthdate

d_surrogat:

Lady winona I AM A MAN OF OVER 30YRS LET ME TELL U THE TRUTH
1.Dont decieve your self thinking u are SPECIAL TO DAT GUY,a man can do ANYTHING FOR SEX, Al d care,love,attn he giving u wil vanish d day he messes u up, Not dat HE HIS WICKED OR BAD BUT DAT JUST D NATURE OF GUYS,
2.He wont tolerate his wife f.uckng up as u ave done, meaning HE HAS ALREADY LOST RESPECT 4u, dnt get carried away by his courtsey EVEN ME AS A GUY I SHOW COURTSEY TO PIGS DAT DOSENT MEAN, i admire dem,
So dont tink u can change a law of 7000yrs wit your short, n tiny brain, try n develope it wit realism

as you have been married for 30yrs you should be in your late 40s or early 50's, i dont expect you to use the words in bold. this is someone in distress and all she asked for was advise not insults. makes me to realise you are not different from the teenagers that throw insults left and right. afterall you are older you should be wiser, but i'm not seeing that at the moment, what if it was your daughter? is that what you will tell her?

^^I thought he meant that he's above 30yrs of age,

Lady Winona, I have to be frank with you that you are alright-nothing wrong is happening to you. I'm a married man who had same experience with a brilliant, intelligent, pretty and well educated married young lady in my office. We are in different department but we draw eachother attention during lunch break. She invited me over to her table and that was how a relationship without a string started. She was an innocent girl, whom I discovered liked everything about me. I don't know how to express how deep the feelings she had for me. I knew this and never take advantage of her. We monitored eachother each day after the office close hour until we are at home. It was like love birds of a thing without anything beyond. Frankly the feelings was there. If anyone has been in the company of a well trained, educated, young and intelligent lady, then you are in the best position to understand me. Plus the strong feelings I knew she had.

I also started feeling the same. We send text messages like new loverbirds. She told me she is in love never felt like before. How I escaped going over the fence?

Lady Winona, be frank with youself. You are missing something in your husband. Kindly try talk it over between yourselves. This is exactly what I later discovered in her love life when I started reasoning beyond the fantasy, yes FANTASY. Funny enough both our partners are our first love. While I'm happy with my relationship, she has started feeling how she wished her husband is just like me. I helped her get deep into her marriage to find out the grey area-which she could not discover and she is getting happier for it today. God help us when she got another plum job in a multinational-God helped me seeing my intention. Since then we still talk as before but the text message.

Lay Winona, if I was the type that want to take advantage of her, we would have been at the other ends. She was vulnerable as you are. See this as FANTASY and find what is wrong with your home.

So be careful, prune the feelings in stages and go on in life. If care is not observed, you may  tell a different tale. IA STITCH IN TIME SAVES NINE.

OP,

I do understand very well how you feel. Please accept my little advice.

I observed that you like this colleague of yours very much and you have unconsciously built a hero/knight figure into him with a bid to help you run away from reality into the cloud of thoughts you have built for yourself. In the process of doing this, you try to repress the reality of this act by living in denial and introducing him to your family and you get known to his too.

I will advise that you resolutely back off from the 'innocent' relationship as it is bound to end up into something deeper, more personal, more intimate and more unacceptable. Being known to each other's family is not preventive, in fact it is a decoy that would allow the untoward take place at the fullness of time without suspicion. This will sustain the act of deception if eventually the deed is done. So, the earlier you back off the better.

Taking refuge in your relationship with him is not helping your marriage as you think. You are only advancing your love to the guy by switching his face with that of your husband. (Some men and women physically make love to their spouses but mentally, the love making is with other people outside their homes. If this persists, it will eventually turn a reality. That is the power of imagination!).

Pulling out might seem difficult but resolve to do so in your heart and do it committedly. Now, he will come after you wanting to know what went wrong and if he had offended you, just smile at him and tell him that all is well. Pray and fast about it if you are the religious type (and when you feel like going to meet him again, rather than do that, read the holy book of your religion).