:p

Well, I for one have NEVER cheated, and NEVER will. Never really seen the point, if I felt that way inclined, then I'd rather be single.

My man this issue does not single out the married. It is a serious issue.

quoting this respondence below "Seina" He seemed to be confident in himself. May be he has never gotten such experience.

My brother it is pretty hard to resist women especially the attractive ones. It takes the grace of God.

So what one prayer i say on this is , Lead us not into temptation" Sometimes it worked like magic but sometimes it works like,

Married or single. Its the same.

For me, its going to be very difficult. Infact it was so difficult to resist because she is very beautiful. Now she is carrying my baby and I'm a mess. Now she is insisting that I marry her.

My advise - Avoid women if you can. They come with a whole lot of problems. Stay with the one you love and who loves you back. Believe me, this is priceless!

@Siena
Never say Never. I was a propagator (and still is!) of a one man-woman relationship but I never really understood the power of women. Or is it the submission of a man's loins to that of a woman's?

its all a thing of the mind and the decisions you take, i dated my girl for 5 years b4 we got married and within the period we were apart almost half the time. Had to travel out for futher studies and did not once cheat on her. now we are married and sometimes we are apart cos of the nature of my job, but still very faithful to her and always will,
dont get me wrong, i had more that 4 good offers to chop and clean mouth, but turned them all down, cos i had given her my words,

its all a thing of the mind and the decisions you take, i dated my girl for 5 years b4 we got married and within the period we were apart almost half the time. Had to travel out for futher studies and did not once cheat on her. now we are married and sometimes we are apart cos of the nature of my job, but still very faithful to her and always will,
dont get me wrong, i had more that 4 good offers to chop and clean mouth, but turned them all down, cos i had given her my words,

ask urself all u who feel its too difficult, if she had HIV, how many times will u resist her? i'm thinking a million times or more!!

Gamers:

Married or single. Its the same.

For me, its going to be very difficult. Infact it was so difficult to resist because she is very beautiful. Now she is carrying my baby and I'm a mess. Now she is insisting that I marry her.

My advise - Avoid women if you can. They come with a whole lot of problems. Stay with the one you love and who loves you back. Believe me, this is priceless!

@Siena
Never say Never. I was a propagator (and still is!) of a one man-woman relationship but I never really understood the power of women. Or is it the submission of a man's loins to that of a woman's?

It all depends on the level of commitment you have for your partner. I was never a player, when I was single. I'm 39 now, 40 next April, and am proud to say, I've only had 7 lovers in all that time, the shortest relationship I had was 5 years.

So yes, I can honestly, hand on heart, say never. I just won't cheat.

So, whats next siena? U think u'll ever settle down?
just curious.

a propagator?

Busta:

So, whats next siena? You think u'll ever settle down?
just curious.

a propagator?

Aye, I'm getting married next August. I've got a 22 year-old from my ex-wife, and no regrets whatsoever.

ok . . good for u and all the best!

one question tho ----- how do u feel or what have u got to say about what pple say about guys or people that already has a kid. Especially in nigeria, they frown at that kinda situation and it makes me soooo mad cos thats stereotyping.
and ur ex? is she married?

@ mellow mind ur own business. U actually took the time to the arithmetric calculation. . lol

My mistake. Read that as longest.

Busta:

ok . . good for u and all the best!

one question tho ----- how do u feel or what have u got to say about what people say about guys or people that already has a kid. Especially in nigeria, they frown at that kind of situation and it makes me soooo mad because thats stereotyping.
and your ex? is she married?

Busta, I've nothing negative to say about single parents, it's not an issue, and certainly won't stop me from marrying a woman I loved. But saying that, for some folk, a single parent is NOT an option, they just can't get on with a child that's not theirs. I can't slate them though, different choices.

But what I can't abide by, is when these same folk regard single parents as "tainted". There are a lot of circumstances by which one could end up a single parent. Divorce, for instance. If 2 people can no longer get on, is it wise to remain together, claiming "we're doing it for our child / children"? Such relationships are unhealthy, children pick up on things, even very young children pick up on atmospheres, despite the parents maintaining a degree of "normality" around them.

My ex re-married 4 years ago.

awwww. . feel ya.
all the best guy!

kaestro, d point of asking if is to show everyone that we all have the free will to decide to fall or not.no man i know will allow himself to be pushed to have sex wit a lady wit hiv or any disease.sooo, the choice is yours. last time i checked, i was a lady.

Kaestro:

If? Coolviv.I'm going to assume you're a lady.But asking yourself IF is like going to the university and asking yourself "what if I don't make it as whatever you're there for".Still you have a point.

I ask these questions of Siena.

You married at 17!?! Was it because your girlfriend at that time was pregnant for you? If yes, that must have really been difficult for you! Could it be that being under that sort of pressure would make you not look at any other woman? Just asking, please dont be annoyed. And to later end up in divorce is what bothers me. What happened? Not to pry, honestly. But I'm in a situation similar to what I think happened to you and I hope I'm not making the wrong decisions.

Gamers:

I ask these questions of Siena.

You married at 17!?! Was it because your girlfriend at that time was pregnant for you? If yes, that must have really been difficult for you! Could it be that being under that sort of pressure would make you not look at any other woman? Just asking, please don't be annoyed. And to later end up in divorce is what bothers me. What happened? Not to pry, honestly. But I'm in a situation similar to what I think happened to you and I hope I'm not making the wrong decisions.

Lol, I married a lot later than 17, nothing to do with having a child either.

Of course I look at other women, everyone does. But, it's whether it goes further than just looking. I'd look, but have enough self discipline not to take it further.

Unless of course, I'm single.

@Sienna

How did the child come about?

Gamers:

@Sienna

How did the child come about?

Lol, too many questions brother! 

Not really into airing my personal life on a public forum, no offence.  Let's just say, my child was NOT an error, and I've no regrets, as far as having her's concerned.

Besides, this thread's digressing, way off-topic now!

@Siena

Well, sorry that I ask these questions. Just needed them to be able to make a more informed decision as my path in life has taken a detour from what I planned.

See my thread and add your comments. https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-76905.0.html

P.S. My personal life is on a public forum.

@ Gamers: Sorry to hear about your dilemna, I must add, your situation was very different from mine, I was single, you obviously are not.

I was under no pressure to get married either.

Gamers:

P.S. My personal life is on a public forum.

It certainly is, but I'm not into posting my personal problems on a public forum, but saying that, it doesn't mean you're wrong to do so.

It's called diversity.

mellow:

Siena my man. How right can you be? I wonder how old you were when you started keeping relationships?

because from my elementary arithmetic if you've had seven girls and shortest time is 5yrs then you have stayed

35yrs in relationships, And if you add the extrax?  Hnm figure it out yourself.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]

Kaestro:

@Sienna.You seem to have a history considering how long you've been on this planet but having a 22 year old from your ex-wife? You had a kid @ 17yrs and I'm sure you went on to marry this woman.[/b]Does that suggest you had been so sexually active at that age to invest in kids? Anyway I'm very affected by your moral ethics,it takes a real man to be able to withstand and avoid distractions during your relationships.As much as i'm pricipled in most aspects of my life I seem to be still susceptible to the lead by women.[b]You'll add to my list of REAL MEN who who are REAL to there women.Keep it up

Siena:

@ Gamers: Sorry to hear about your dilemna, I must add, your situation was very different from mine, I was single, you obviously are not.

I was under no pressure to get married either.

It certainly is, but I'm not into posting my personal problems on a public forum, but saying that, it doesn't mean you're wrong to do so.

It's called diversity.

Um-hmmm! Interesting.  Things you learn on a peaceful sunday morning.   Nothing like a bunch of guys having a heart to heart conversation about life's realities.

@Topic

I think by the 5th time of being "advanced"-- the attractive lady would have haunted my dreams enough. As a result, the other five advances cannot be refused. So on a scale of 1-10 "my looseness" is definitely 5--or 50%.

I hope we are all not trying to put a good face to "issue" here. We are all talking about being actively asked. What about all the time we have done the asking "illlegally?

If I were asked 10 times, I would probably oblige 2ce maybe.

But I feel the urge to do the asking a few time and I hardly ever get a NO. I have a lovely relationship and I feel awful after my escapades and I sometimes feel some of us are just built that way.

E gbami o!

Make una leave Sienna alone O! I ain't so sure that the guy has normal blood flowing in his veins. I applaud his committment and stuff and moan at my own weakness of flesh to quote our men of God.

Sienna. I would have really envied your straight up life if I felt it was real.

I hope it is.

good luck

kaestro i feel for u. But u can still change. With God all things are possible.
You can do all things thru Christ who strengthens You.
Yoou are not alone.

funny replies, for those who can't zip up, let those who can zip up be. geeeez the fact you can't control yourself does not mean everyone is like you or should be like you.