What of if ur in-law,gain admision into one of d univ in d city wer u resided&need to stay wit u,jst because ur house ar vry close to his/her school/because of convenenc.What wi u do abt such in-law.

D sage:

What of if ur in-law,gain admision into one of d univ in d city wer u resided&need to stay wit u,jst because ur house ar vry close to his/her school/because of convenenc.What wi u do abt such in-law.

such in-law would stay in the hostel. . . .

its that simple.

D sage:

What of if ur in-law,gain admision into one of d univ in d city wer u resided&need to stay wit u,jst because ur house ar vry close to his/her school/because of convenenc.What wi u do abt such in-law.

And what is wrong in having them live with you for that period they would be in school?

"Troublesome" in-law should only visit and not even spend a night . . . .

it depends on wetin she/he carry come to support her stay

I have a brother and a sister in-law who comes to my house regularly and stay for a long as 2 to 4 months. They are both jobless, and very very very lazy. They come acting like visitors, leave dishes in my kitchen which is one of the things I detest a lot. My brother in-law wakes up in the morning and cannot even sweep and clean my sitting room, first thing is to switch on my 50" LCD at about 6.30 AM, the worst, when both of them are around, they eat in the morning (no problems about that) Afternoon (no probs) then at about 5 to 6PM my brother in-law eats again, and when myself and my wife comes back from the days work, my wife will ask who has taken diner or not, my sister in-law will lie and say my brother in-law has not eaten, then he eats for the 4th time in one day, and this happens daily.

I was shocked because he now eats little food which is very contrary to the size of foods he normally eats. My brother in-law is a monster when it comes to foods. he eats all alone 4 packets of indomie super pack at once. In fact they both eat like fools.

It is just pathetic that I have such as in-laws, and my wife does not help matters, she seems to act like she doesn't know what they do even when I complain about their behaviour, she can't call them to order.

When my house made told me about how they beat her on daily basis for cooking what I call normal quantity of food for launch, I got mad with them and told them off, my sister inlaw caller her mother and told her that my house maid is a witch, and she must leave my house, and my mother in-law called my wife to give the instruction and that was that. I was angry with my mother in-law and did not talk to her for several months.

For me, I made sure I got them out of my house, but they are just terrible.

BLESS U MR POSTER my mother inlaw s been with us sincce 2006 before our wedding. she used to sneak in and leave before my arrival from work but since we had our first child, she and my wifes sister had gotten a permanent suit in my house. i was told they would leave as soon as the mum (my wife) starts work. now our second child is 4 yet there is no sign to show that they are ready to llive. My wifes sister is about to get married and any time the issue of when to leave comes up, my wife accuses me of embarrasing the mum. The issue is making me sad cos I never had the privacy I cherished so much with my family. I did not even have the intimacy I would have llove to have with my children.

My advice; don't overstay your welcome.

Eminent NairaLanders, consider a scenario where there is an Evil Murderous Mate. What more can in laws do than to come to the rescue of their beloved.

Ninilowo said:

BLESS U MR POSTER my mother inlaw s been with us sincce 2006 before our wedding. she used to sneak in and leave before my arrival from work but since we had our first child, she and my wifes sister had gotten a permanent suit in my house. i was told they would leave as soon as the mum (my wife) starts work. now our second child is 4 yet there is no sign to show that they are ready to llive. My wifes sister is about to get married and any time the issue of when to leave comes up, my wife accuses me of embarrasing the mum. The issue is making me sad cos I never had the privacy  I cherished so much with my family. I did not even have the intimacy I would have llove to have with my children.

You are a fool and a coward. Why don't you fuuking stand up, BE A MAN, and tell them to CLEAR OUT if that is what you want in your home? What kind of nonsense is this? Why are you so afraid of them? Are they gods or deities? Are they superhumans? Are they not human beings like you?  If they think staying for 6 YEARS in your house is ok, without even confiding in you their intentions or agenda, they've already declared war on you right there without your knowledge, and disrespected you massively. They'd studied you, and saw your civility and consideration as weakness. And capitalized on it.

Now get this: You owe them NOTHING either in terms of respect or consideration.  They have ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT IN THIS WORLD to deny you the kind of life you want for your family. Stand up, Be a man, and most importantly, YOU MUST NOT CARE  how they 'feel' by your next actions. They never cared about your feelings either.

It is NOT your job to make them 'happy' with you. SO DO YOUR THING AND STOP THIS NONSENSE NOW. Give them an ultimatum - 1 week to 1 month (personally I'd give them a week max). AND STICK TO IT.

I was in a relation ship with a girl from Abia State, this relationship was set to end in marriage

after several years of dating her mum told me that when we marry she would have to come and live in London with us for omugo
for 2 years

That was enough for me to call it quit with the lady, though bless the lady she did warn me about her domineering mother.

Married couples should stand up to their in-laws and not let the ruin their lives peace and happiness

The problem I have is that,  even my own parents think am a bastard, Life is very simple. very very simple. All man for himself. except for close nuclear family, every other person needs to understand patience is a virtue that not meant for everybody.

As for me I would be correcting his wrong doings,if the person happens to be my child will i send my child packing?

Very interesting thread. I love this!

Na wa oh. Look at a husband reduced to counting the numbe rof indomie packets that his inlaw is eating. Why do you have grown ass people living in your home in the first place? These days I am not a morning person and I know I will be irritated if someone turned on my tv at 6:30 in the morning or maybe take it off the weather channel were I usually have it ON A DAILY BASIS FOR MONTHS. LOL. That will be serious. I am pretty sure that your wife will not pu tup with that from your people. I know I will not put up with that andneither would my husband

laugh wan kill me here
i laugh in Bantu  at the inlaw eaing 4 super indomie

just remembering one lady's post (last year) where her inlaw ate pot of soup and pot of rice, wear her clothes etc, 
where is that thread sef

Ninilowo:

BLESS U MR POSTER my mother inlaw s been with us sincce 2006 before our wedding. she used to sneak in and leave before my arrival from work but since we had our first child, she and my wifes sister had gotten a permanent suit in my house. i was told they would leave as soon as the mum (my wife) starts work. now our second child is 4 yet there is no sign to show that they are ready to llive. My wifes sister is about to get married and any time the issue of when to leave comes up, my wife accuses me of embarrasing the mum. The issue is making me sad cos I never had the privacy I cherished so much with my family. I did not even have the intimacy I would have llove to have with my children.

Bros sorry

I think the problems stems from our women really, and the issue is just bigger than what we all are reading here. Where I lived for 3 yrs, a neighbor’s wife left the house with 3 kids simply because her husband asked the sister in-law to leave the house. Today the man has remarried, and his former wife never came back. So we can see that some women even after marriage cannot simply detach from the family to build your home, rather they have in-laws coming to stay unnecessarily.

I mentioned that my in-law eats 4 indomie super packs b/cos I buy indomie in cartons for my son and my wife keeps it in our room, it is funny but ridiculous. I have never seen anyone eat that way, meanwhile he is about 35yrs of age, he doesn't even know that he has to clean the dining table after meal; all he does is to use his hand to remove food particles after meal. We have put in some resource in our little capacity to get this guy on his feet, yet nothing. I remember we invested over 200k for a business he went to Ghana to do, after 6 months he ran back broke, but his mates are still in Ghana doing that business and taking care of themselves. Who know if he just took the money and went there to enjoy.

My sister in-law is married and has a child, but she never like stays with her husband, she virtually spends at least 7 to 8 months of the year in my home and the rest with her husband. she stays in my home with the child and allows the child to wee, pooh on my sofa, and when you talk, she sounds like " na children now"

This makes my sitting room look like a mad man's house. Now I moved to a 4 bedroom duplex, and what I did was to cordon my sitting room, bought a new leather sofa, and gave instruction that on no occasion should anyone step into my sitting room. I had to install A/C and TV with DSTV connected in all the rooms so no excuse. My sitting area is where i receive visitors and I see no reason why it should be in a state of mess. If people cannot keep it clean and organized, then they must stop going there.

This are certain underlying factors which causes abuse in a home, you see a home where the wife is on her people side against you, either directly of indirectly, and when there is little marital issue, the husband want to take it out on the wife. Sometimes issues arises and your wife is like, "pls if you don't want to see my people coming around me, say it so that can stop coming" statements like that do come into play when there is an issue bordering around in-laws lazing about in your home.

My business partner cannot have peace in his house today, it is because of his warri in-laws, and a wife who instead of pitching tent with her husband, has decided to pitch tent with her own people.

One day, I called my wife and my brother in-law, and I told my in-law " You have your eldest brother living in a 3 bedroom flat with his wife alone, why is it that you don't even go there much less, live with them" he did not say anything. You guys know the answer na.

Generally, I don't have problems staying with any of my in-laws, but when they are problematic and causing issues between my wife and I, they should not stay even for 1 hour.

I was able to boot mine out because of the pressure I mounted on a daily basis, cos I can't stand a grown up folks in my house doing nothing. I had to pressure that he must get something doing or learn a trade rather than waiting for us to raise 500k for him to start business (cos that was the plan, it was leaked to me by one of my staff who is close to my brother in-law)
My sister in-law is a fashion designer, we bought her a sewing machine, she can't even sit down one day to make a dress.

Abeg, we all need to look very well before we marry ooooooo.

Where u blind b4 u became his/her son or daughter inlaw? B4 u marry look at d family 1st, becos once u r in, u r in.

they should visit but no extended stay @ all. i have had terrible experiences with my in laws staying over, i got burnt all the time and now, i wont ever allow it again, never! even my wife sees my reason now

This is a very serious topic.

My parents-in-law dont really come to my house. My mother-in-law has only stayed a night  and that was because her flight was delayed from Abj and she got to lagos very late and since my house is close to the airport, her son suggested she stays the night and leave in the morning since she lives on the outskirt.

My problem is my 2 brothers-in-law and its not a problem per-se because i have figured a way of dealing with the situation. My husband elder brother is jobless for now and my husband is trying to work sumtin out for him at a small firm. He told me he will be payed 25k so he is thinking he should be living with us so as to minimize transport cost. I immediately put to use my medular oblongata and told him it wont be possible because it will be like i'm training a kid all over again. This is a man that does not even flush the loo after peeing. How do i say " broda, abeg dey flush after you weewee" without sounding rude. I cannot enforce the rules will adhere to in that house because it will seem rude since he is older.

The younger brother will eat and dump the plate in the sink for me the housemaid to come and wash. He is not even my own younger brother's mate. I told my husband, no food for him again if he does not wash his plates and he called him to order cos he knows i meant it.
Now he has gone to school somewhere in europe and is always hounding my husband for money.

Two days to one week, after that, you pack ♈ōU̶̲̥̅̊я things ǡŋ₫ go find someone else you ¢ð₪ cling to like Ǟ parasite, troublesome in-laws? Two days tops

In- laws are free to come and stay as long as they wish to visit. For longer stays the stay has to be meaningful and beneficial to them too. For instance in the example with the undergraduate - it makes more sense staying in the hostel. In our home there are too many restrictions because I have kids who i do not want to get exposed to certain things.
i had this agreement with my husband before we got married that we will never make our in laws feel unwelcome. I do not need my in laws or my family helping me in my chores but I certainly do care if you make unnecessary mess. No need to clean my bathroom but for heavens sake don`t leave the floor with a pool of water.
The main problem with in laws is because the couple do not set the boundaries. We do that politely. Anyone that crosses them in a grievous manner like being rude will be sent packing the next day. For my in-laws it is done by my husband, i simply tell him to get them out. I do not have a NIL or FIL because with them or older persons I will certainly be more tolerant.
There are diplomatic ways of letting your family know how to respect your partner. Simple tricks that work. For instance none of my family or visitors are allowed to sit on my husbands seat at the dinning, not even their kids. Anyone can go to my pot and take food, but my husbands food has to be taken out there first and when he s at home they have to wait for him to take his food first or to tell us to go ahead he is not ready.  Such simple strategies quickly get people alerted on the situation. And I make it clear to hem that my husband is no go as long as they want to be comfortable. My husband also has his way of getting the message across and advises them to feel at home but not cross my path. Once relations and friends became aware on how the rules in your house function , they will already step in with the right attitude.

most of you are talking as if you have never hung with an in-law before. When you visit your blood brother/sister in their marital homes, what do you think you are? A bloody lecherous hanging in-law.
While it is not  be encouraged, live in/visiting in-law culture is a part and parcel of us. is the extended family culture alien to us in modern day Nigeria? i guess not.

^^Op said 'troublesome' in-laws, that's Ǟ lotta baggage, btw are you Ǟ guy or lady?

ronkebp:

And what is wrong in having them live with you for that period they would be in school?

Everything is wrong,

Are you saying the In-Law will stay in your house for four-six years. Never.

Any In-law(good or bad) cannot stay in my house above two weeks.

Its amazing how fast africans are transforming themselves into oyinbos. If you are a married man, your mother is also your wife's mother in law. So think about how long is your own mother allowed to stay in your house. That will give you the answer of how long should your mother inlaw stay in your house.

safarigirl:

^^Op said 'troublesome' in-laws, that's Ǟ lotta baggage, btw are you Ǟ guy or lady?

Show where TROUBLESOME showed up in the poster,s sentence.
I am a father and husband who has had in laws stayed over and who will still have them visit anytime again.

^^good for you, everyone doesn't have to share ♈ōU̶̲̥̅̊я feelings, people are diverse, ǡŋ₫ a lot ☺₣ people (like ♍€) like our space. I don't visit people to start with cos I feel I'm inconveniencing them, Ŝ☺ why should people invade my space?

Can't say am not guilty of this cos I have visited my married sisters a number of times and sometimes it was an extended stay as long as I didnt overstay my welcome. On such occassions, I made sure I was helpful around the house, buy things for the kids and dont poke nose in their family matter. Of course they look forward to my visits. Now that I'm married, I pray to be accomodating like some people I know but I will not tolerate being taken for granted. It also depends on how big and spacious your house is.