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The Official Chat Thread For Jokers - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Ben13: 11:31am On Feb 03, 2012
Welcome to the Tatafo section. It's always a great time here. kiss kiss

We've witnessed a lot of fights here. A lot of bashing. . . so no more 'crazy' talks. Are we not tired? grin
Someone suggested it's because of the alcoholic drinks served in the offtopic threads. So members of the jokes section always act like they are super drunk. #No pun intended. tongue

We've gotten a lot of alcohol for the past few years. Let's come to REHAB.

You know what we do in REHAB? We need Medical Doctors and Psychiatrists. LOL
Our Janitors. . you know na - Dani and Ben grin


This is the official offtopic thread. We chat wisely. Without bashing. We crack jokes and we show love to each other with sweet words.

Are you online now?? Let's bring back the spirit of Tatafo. Let's play!! wink
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Dyt(f): 11:48am On Feb 03, 2012
mtchewwwww
dis tym, i ll drink blood
hahhahahahahahahahahaha
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by mikuz(m): 12:22pm On Feb 03, 2012
And you think this would solve it all?
Ive told you guys => get ready to ban this Id cos ive had it up to here!!
I aint going back on my words!!
Na banning and deleting be una work from hence forth. No peace for the wicked!
My own don start!!
Its on!!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahbhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahagahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Dyt(f): 12:24pm On Feb 03, 2012
i folllow put


[size=88pt]yah yah yah[/size]
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Ben13: 12:27pm On Feb 03, 2012
Not surprised!!! grin grin grin Too much alcohol for the past two years!
We need Medical Doctors, pls.
wink
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by jackpot(f): 12:35pm On Feb 03, 2012
Why did you unsticky Mikuz's bar?

That wasn't a nice thing to do.

There were no fights going on in his thread.

At least he wasn't part of any "fight" per se

so you did this to please her, right?

SMH
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by jackpot(f): 12:39pm On Feb 03, 2012
*throws Ben satchet water and watches as it splatters across his face*

#Poor Ben#
tongue tongue tongue
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by mikuz(m): 12:42pm On Feb 03, 2012
Fun with Sherry

I couldn’t believe how lucky I got when my sister-in-law Sherry came to visit her sister (my wife, Cara). Sherry’s single and Cara is her only sister. I was feeling a little down at the time as I was unemployed and upset with myself for allowing myself to get out of shape and pack on some extra pounds.
One morning while Cara was at work, I was lounging around on the living room sofa in a t-shirt and shorts when Sherry came into the room wearing gym shots and a t-shirt, complaining her feet were bothering her.
Sherry is 40, but a knockout. The combination of her short, dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, slim figure, tight as s and 36D bre asts never fails to turn me on. I often fantasize about fucki ng her from behind or having a thre esome with Sherry and Cara.
I offered to give her a foot rub, which she accepted. We made small talk while I massaged her feet, occasionally sliding a hand up to massage her calves as well. She just smiled and said the massage felt good, not commenting on my hands roaming up above her ankles.
I offered to massage the rest of her legs and she said that would be nice. So I
draped her feet over my legs while sitting next to her (she was laying down) and proceeded to massage her thighs, making sure my fingers stopped at the bottom of her shorts. Although I had the hots for her, I didn’t want to get her pissed off and tell Cara that I was attempting to make a pass at her, so I was very careful with how high up her legs my hands went. However I did notice that she had her eyes closed a big smile on her face.
When I finished she said “that was wonderful, do you think you could massage my back?”
I responded “Sure” and she asked would it be easier if she was bent over leaning on a table or flat on her stomach on the floor. I responded with bent over the table.
As we got up Sherry’s foot brushed against my co ck. Despite the fact that she’s never shown any interest in me I had to wonder if it was accidental or intentional. Soon I was giving her the massage,keeping my hands outside the t-shirt for fear of her telling Cara I made a pass at her. As I massaged I realized she wasn’t wearing a bra as there were no bra straps in the way of my hands.
After 5-10 minutes she said to me “maybe this will make things easier for you” and proceeded to take off her shirt bringing those beautiful 36Ds into view. I stared for a minute and felt my c ock begin to get hard. She just chuckled,winked, and said “You’re married to my kid sister, don’t get any ideas.”
However I did get an idea and decided to throw caution into the wind. While continuing the back massage I would let my fingertips “accidentally” go under the waistband of the shorts to I was brushing them against the top of her as s, making it seem like it was part of the massage.
I felt myself getting harder the longer she was bent over in front of me and topless. Then she shocked me by asking “if I said it was ok for you to make a move on me, what would you do?”
With that I took a step forward so she could feel my hard-on pressing against her as s and brought my hands down off her shoulders and went directly for her breasts– caressin g them in my hands and rolling the n ipples between two fingers I then leaned forward licked from her neck to her ear and whispered “I’d probably start like this”
She responded “that’s good, but I’m sure you can do better. let’s see what else you’ve got”
So I continued the massage for another minute, once again pausing to caress her breastswhile my hands were on their way down, but this time I didn’t stop at the top of her gym shorts, I proceeded to pull them down to discover that she was nakedunderneath. I then used two fingers to gently massage herclit, and brought the other hand up to massage her breast.I leaned into her and asked “is this better?”
With that she sighed as she reached back and pulled out mycock stroking it gently and said “does this answer your question?” I told her it did and hurriedly took off my own clothes so I was nakedas well.
Then I stepped up right behind her and started to massage herass, pulling the cheeks apart every so often while she continued to stroke me and caress my balls. But I couldn’t resist those magnificent breastsso I stood her up and turned her around so we were face-to-face. We shared a passionate kiss – our tongues intertwined Then I moved my mouth down and started sucking on the breastsone at a time, nibbling on the nippleswhile right hand was busy alternating between rubbing her clitand sliding two fingers slowly inside her
All the while she was slowly stroking my cockand caressing my balls with a perfect touch. Every few strokes she’d pause to spit on her hand to make sure this prime handjobwas a wet one.
After a good 10-15 minutes I said “do you want me inside you” to which Sherry whispered “yes”. I turned her around and bent her over and slowly eased my wet, aching cockinto her tight, wetpussy.
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by jackpot(f): 12:43pm On Feb 03, 2012
The Offtopic Chat Thread for Dani & Ben

SMH
tongue tongue tongue
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Ben13: 12:46pm On Feb 03, 2012
jackpot:

*throws Ben satchet water and watches as it splatters across his face*

#Poor Ben#
tongue tongue tongue

Hehehe. . . Ben did nothing to deserve it. So he just hissed and moved on.  grin
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by mikuz(m): 12:50pm On Feb 03, 2012
I leaned forward to grab her brea sts and held onto them as I pumped into her for several minutes alternating between quick, hard thrusts and slow pumps. She was moaning softly saying how good it felt.
I pulled out and said “you might like this better” and held her as s, spreading her cheeks apart as I slowly slid my pussy-juice lubed co ck into her tight as s.
She groaned “yeah baby that feels so good” as I inched my way in. Once I was all the way in, I grabbed her hips and started pumping into her hard and fast.
I was trying to go faster and harder with each thrust and she kept perfect time by bucking back against me, making the sound of our bodies slapping together even louder. She was rubbing her c lit hard while I fuc ked her as s.
After a few minutes she again shouted “yeah baby that feels so fu cking good” and I couldn’t agree more as I felt my own org asm starting to build. A
minute later she shouted “I’m cum ming!” and seconds later I shouted “So am
I” and shot my load into her tight as s.
As we slumped forward, our sweaty bodies pressed together, I reached
forward, grabbed her t its and pulled her upright against me and said “That
was fantastic, but we can’t tell Cara about this”
Sherry said “Maybe we won’t,but you did disappointment me”
I said “How?”
Sherry said “With all the attention you were paying to my t its I thought
for sure I was going to get to see you shoot your load all over them.” and
with that she brought a n ipple up to her tongue and licked it.
I said “sorry about that”
Sherry said “I’ll forgive you, however keeping it a secret from Cara will
depend on one thing.”
Horrified I asked “What?”
Sherry gave an evil smile and said “You have to fu ck me that good anytime and anywhere I want the rest of my visit.”
Little did I realize how often she’d want it (to be continued…)

1 Like

Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by dani1luv: 12:53pm On Feb 03, 2012
mikuz you go post tire grin wey ben?? cheesy

1 Like

Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Ben13: 12:57pm On Feb 03, 2012
Dani, we need Medical doctors? grin grin
Where the hell is El. ID, Efe and Studio
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Dyt(f): 12:58pm On Feb 03, 2012
^^ abattoir
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by jackpot(f): 1:00pm On Feb 03, 2012
The Offtopic Clueless Chat Thread for Dani & Ben

SMH
tongue tongue tongue
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by jackpot(f): 1:05pm On Feb 03, 2012
Dyt:

^^ abattoir

young mamacita, can we nyansh please? I sweaaar am so romantickk wink cheesy
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by dani1luv: 1:10pm On Feb 03, 2012
oh lawd have mercy, Ben, Mr. Donkollione is a great doctor with PHd probably, and 50yrs experience, he actually cured bin gbagbo of spiritual laziness. .or you meant Babalawo Doctor grin
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by mikuz(m): 1:16pm On Feb 03, 2012
Oboy f uck go sweet for this motel o.
Lemme check the beds they have here!

Choi!!
Nice!!
All i need is a chick with broad chests and very tight c un t.
One would do for now!!
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Killz3(m): 1:18pm On Feb 03, 2012
Dr Killz don show! grin grin grin Mikuz don Mad finish. . . I swearilize grin
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Ben13: 1:19pm On Feb 03, 2012
dani1luv:

oh lawd have mercy, Ben, Mr. Donkollione is a great doctor with PHd probably, and 50yrs experience, he actually cured bin gbagbo of spiritual laziness. .or you meant Babalawo Doctor grin

hehe. . .You need to invite him ASAP!!!
Babalawo doctor will be good for some peeps too. You urself u don resign from una shrine? grin grin
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by dani1luv: 1:19pm On Feb 03, 2012
you are bypassing the word filter, mr. Mikuz, and fyi its no motel, it just an official chat thread, , smh tongue
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by mikuz(m): 1:19pm On Feb 03, 2012
Mark was still feeling down about his mother’s death three years ago. She didn’t get to see him graduate high school last year or see him offto his first year at an Ivy League university this year. He was shy, wore glasses, and wasn’t a jock and had just an average build. He didn’t work out, preferring to focus on his studies. He was also very shy and lacked confidence in his looks so he didn’t date and as a result was still a virgin after that freshman year. He was also upset that his rich father, Jeff, had decided to move on and start dating again last year. He thought that most of the women his father had chosen to date were just air-headed bimbos — attractive women with little intelligence who were either after his money or who he was using to solve a midlife crisis.
However all that changed the day Mark came home for summer break after his first year of college. His father toldhim that he met a wonderful woman that he was going to marry and that she had a daughter who was a freshmanat the big state university andthey were all going to go out to dinner that night so everyone could meet. Mark looked at his father stunned asking how he could do this and his father told him “sometimes you just know when it’s the right person andI wanted you to focus on yourstudies instead of being judgmental or worried about me.”
That night at dinner Mark sawwhy his father was smitten with Beth, his new bride-to-be. Beth was a lawyer who had a fantastic figure, great breasts, platinum blonde hair and stunning blue eyes. She might have been in her 50s, but she looked like she was inher 30s. He was thinking that she truly fits the definition of a MILF. Beth’s daughter Jill obviously inherited her mother’s looks as she was a younger, sexier, version of her mother. Beth and Jill’s friendly smiles and demeanor put Mark at ease and there was great conversation between everyone during dinner. After dinner Mark told his dad that he had picked a winner.
The wedding took place in early August, before Mark andJill had to return to their respective colleges. One nightafter the new family had moved into their shared home,Jill knocked on the door to Mark’s room and then enteredwithout waiting for a response, wearing just a longt-shirt that barely covered her ass, and said to him “I’venoticed the way you’ve been checking me out, why haven’t you said anything to me aboutit? You know you’re kind of cute” Mark stammered, not knowing what to say, as he had barely enough time to stash the porn magazine he had been jerking off to. Jill looked down and smiled, noticing Mark’s 7-inch hard onsticking up under the covers, and said to him “I can help you with that” and proceeded to reach down and begin stroking Mark’s rooster through the sheets while leaning in to give him an open-mouthed kiss.
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Ben13: 1:21pm On Feb 03, 2012
~Killz~:

Dr Killz don show! grin grin grin Mikuz don Mad finish. . . I swearilize grin


Hey Dr Killz. . .LOL ya user sounds like a poison. You'd be needed. grin grin
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by dani1luv: 1:21pm On Feb 03, 2012
^where did you copy all this from??
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by mikuz(m): 1:23pm On Feb 03, 2012
Mark couldn’t believe this washappening. Here was a girl, more beautiful than any of theones he had jerked off to, kissing him and giving him a hand job. He just closed his eyes and ran his hands through her long blonde hair as his tongue wrapped aroundhers. The excitement of it all was getting to be too much to handle and he had to push her hand off his rooster before he shot his load. She whispered in his ear “that’s ok, but let’s get Unclad and have some fun” and proceeded to pull off her shirtto reveal a set of 38Bs and a nicely trimmed pussy that had just a small patch of blonde hair above it. He hurriedly yanked off his shirt and went right for her breasts, kissing them and sucking on them. Tohis lips they felt just the right size compared to some of the fake-looking ones he’s seen in the porn magazines and films he’s looked at. She just smiled and sighed at the feeling, wrapping her hands around his head pulling him to her chest. She then asked “are you a virigin? Afraid of cumming to soon? That’s ok, we can take things slow as you want” He sighed as she just hugged him.
After a couple of minutes she pushed his head down and told him to kiss and lick his way lower. He planted soft kisses on her chest and belly until he got down to her inviting pussy. At this point, autopilot took over as he relied on what he had seen in porn movies and read in letters in the magazine to know what to do. He cupped his hands under her ass to bring her closer to his face and then dove in, running his tongue all along the lips of herpussy, occasionally slipping it between them. He was in heaven enjoying the sweet taste of her honeypot. Her sighs turned into soft moans as his tongue slid up and down and then in and out between the fleshy folds of her womanhood. He slid a hand around slightly and began to finger-Bleep her slowly with his index finger while drawing the lips of her wet pussy into his mouth one at a time so he could savor her taste. This got her moaning louder, which in turn got his rooster harder.
After 10 minutes of eating her out, he stood up, took a condom from the nightstand next to the bed (he had them there to make his father think he was getting some), put it on, and then put her legs over his shoulders and slid inside her making her moan even more. He leaned forwardand gave her an open-mouthed kiss and whispered to her how good she felt. He began thrusting into her hard and fast, just like he had fantasized about while looking at porn. Her moans turned into screams of pleasure which became sensory overload for him and he lasted just a few more thrusts before shooting his load while his rooster was deep in her pussy. He laid on top ofher breathing hard, telling herhow great it was and that he couldn’t believe this was happening.
She told him to roll over onto his back because things weren’t over yet. He complied and she removed the condom,emptying the contents into hermouth, to which she said “youtaste so good” and then got on her knees and started to give him his first Mouth Gig. Thesensation of her mouth on his rooster was greater than he could have imagined. Her wet lips slid up and down providing just the right suction as he watched his entire rooster disappear into hermouth and he could feel the tiphitting the back of her throat. He was in heaven as she deep-throated him, and he gently put his hands down on the back of her head, running his hands through her blonde hair. Then she switched to stroking him while licking his balls, caressing each one withher tongue before slowly sucking it into her mouth. She switched hands and played with his balls while licking up and down the length of his now hard-again rooster which was sticking straight up.Eventually she reached over to the nightstand and grabbed another condom and slid it onto him while sucking on his balls. She then climbed onto top of him and slowly slidher pussy down on his erection moaning as each inch disappeared inside her. She started to slowly move up anddown on his rooster, grinding herhips as she went, putting her hands on his chest for support. She did this for several minutes before having Mark sit up and bury his face in her cleavage while she continued the slow and steady pace, moaning loudly, wanting to make sure he lasted longer this time. After another five or ten minutes in this position she said to him “Ineed it hard and fast again, I’m going to get off you and you’re going to do me from behind.” Mark smiled as this was the favorite fantasy position.
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Nobody: 1:24pm On Feb 03, 2012
^^ Looks more like a Write Up For Wale Adenuga's Super Story grin grin grin
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by mikuz(m): 1:26pm On Feb 03, 2012
She climbed off him and turnedto face the headboard. She put her hands on the headboard, looked over her shoulder, smiled at him and said “do me now big boy”. With that Mark took his rooster in hand and slowly rubbed it up and down the lips of her pussy before he pushed himself in. Once he was all the way in he grabbed her hips and started thrusting hard and fast. Her shouts of “yes! yes!” encouraged him onward as he slid his hands up to herbreasts and held on to them for several more strokes before moaning “oh god” and pulled her back to him so he could kiss her while he shot his second load while buried deep inside her. Both breathing hard, they leaned forward and used the headboard for support beforelaying down together. They smiled at each other and Jill said “that was fun we’ll have to do that again sometime” and put her clothes back on and left the room.
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Killz3(m): 1:27pm On Feb 03, 2012
Ben-10:


Hey Dr Killz. . .LOL ya user sounds like a poison. You'd be needed. grin grin

Ok sir! The best solution will definitely be NOT to ban him (he's expecting that), NOT to delete his commens(he's also expecting that) Let him run around Unclad in the room first, and let him entertain! grin I;m personally enjoying the show! When he's tired, he'll stop! but if you ban him or delete his comments. . . He wins!  smiley
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by jackpot(f): 1:29pm On Feb 03, 2012
pro01:

I thought Gala had died a natural death a long time ago. . .along with it's fellow old-school brands such as Omo, Maggi, Oxford Cabin Biscuits, Choco-Milo, etc. Besides, that shyt tastes awful and is often so strong and stiff that some girls might even use it as an emergency Love Machine. Yuk.

LMAO!!! tongue cheesy cheesy grin
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Nobody: 1:31pm On Feb 03, 2012
~Killz~:

Ok sir! The best solution will definitely be NOT to ban him (he's expecting that), NOT to delete his commens(he's also expecting that) Let him run around Unclad in the room first, and let him entertain! grin I;m personally enjoying the show! When he's tired, he'll stop! but if you ban him or delete his comments. . . He wins!  smiley

Awwwwwwwwww! Brotherly Love in the Showing cheesy cheesy grin
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Killz3(m): 1:36pm On Feb 03, 2012
El Guapo:

Awwwwwwwwww! Brotherly Love in the Showing cheesy cheesy grin
Nna kedu?. . .
Re: The Official Chat Thread For Jokers by Nobody: 1:38pm On Feb 03, 2012
Hommie i full Ground -- Cant believe Ibu Onye Obe ka'anyi! shocked shocked

Same with me Too cool cool cool

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