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Friends With Benifits? - Romance - Nairaland

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Friends With Benifits? by Zilja(f): 7:02pm On Feb 06, 2012
[color=#550000][/color]I’m friend’s wit Ibo man. We are both single; I have a son and he wants child but I can’t have any more. He says he’s loves me cos I make him happy but the obstacle will always raise its head out. (child)
Is it better for us to be friends with benefits until he finds what he’s looking for?
Re: Friends With Benifits? by claremont(m): 7:04pm On Feb 06, 2012
Both of you might as well get married and be done with it.

1 Like

Re: Friends With Benifits? by slimyem: 7:05pm On Feb 06, 2012
itss your decision and yours only.
Ask yourself what you want,answer it and go for it.
Goodluck!
Re: Friends With Benifits? by Mynd44: 7:13pm On Feb 06, 2012
Tell the guy to go and adopt jorh
Re: Friends With Benifits? by drnoel: 7:17pm On Feb 06, 2012
slimyem:

itss your decision and yours only.
Ask yourself what you want,answer it and go for it.
Goodluck!
said it all
Re: Friends With Benifits? by born2boink(m): 7:17pm On Feb 06, 2012
Make him consult Herbalist or Spiritualist ,they may have surprise package for both of you
Re: Friends With Benifits? by Zilja(f): 7:20pm On Feb 06, 2012
Thanks for your comments. I appreciate them smiley
Re: Friends With Benifits? by joudini(m): 7:44pm On Feb 06, 2012
He wants a child from you which you have stoutly insisted you can't. And l assume you appreciate the 'friends with benefit' plan until he finds what he is looking for. I assume you like this man so much you cant bear to let him go.

Dont delay the inevitable. Of what use is it holding a man with a poosie when you know he is desperately trying outside for a child. Let him go and find a man who will love you without conditions.

I can only wonder what benefit he is offering you.
Re: Friends With Benifits? by 1stKlass(f): 7:52pm On Feb 06, 2012
FWB is a trend / situation that this society has created without full appreciation of the consequences. *smdh*

If you both already know that you are both not suited or prepared to make a long time commitment to each other - why would you want to remain in that kind of relationship and invest more of your emotions on someone you know is going to leave. That does not seem right to me. Let him go, if he loves you for real he will be back, and put a ring on it!! Dont cheapen the value of your physical and emotion self. That's just my opinion.

1 Like

Re: Friends With Benifits? by Rutihanna(f): 8:04pm On Feb 06, 2012
Joudini has said it all.if the guy is not ready to abide with your terms then I
Think you should walk.but you have to listen to your heart and follow
It.good luck
Re: Friends With Benifits? by Mynd44: 8:08pm On Feb 06, 2012
Hmmm
Re: Friends With Benifits? by Nobody: 8:15pm On Feb 06, 2012
FWB is Fun if you just do what you wilt! go with it!
Re: Friends With Benifits? by IZUKWU(m): 8:28pm On Feb 06, 2012
But why don't you want to give him a son ,for him that would be the ultimate evidence that you love him. There is nothing that you can give him or do for him that will be more than that and he cannot and will not compromise on that,
Re: Friends With Benifits? by Zilja(f): 10:59pm On Feb 06, 2012
[ If you both already know that you are both not suited or prepared to make a long time commitment to each other - why would you want to remain in that kind of relationship and invest more of your emotions on someone you know is going to leave. That does not seem right to me. Let him go, if he loves you for real he will be back, and put a ring on it!! Dont cheapen the value of your physical and emotion self. That's just my opinion. [/size][/font]
[quote][/quote]

You never know what will happen. My options are open. It's not that I'm waiting on him to make a move or decision but right now its working for the both of us. We've talked about it and is pretty honest with eachother on what we are doingl. Respect!  I don't allow my emotions to get in the way only because I have gone in with my eyes open. At the end of the day, I'm cool until either of us decide that it's not working. Thanks for the comments.

It's not my terms that he's not abiding by, it's our tems that we have set for ourselves. There are otherthings involved that I'd rahter not talk about.
I just wanted to get your thoughts on the situation.
Re: Friends With Benifits? by MrsChima1(f): 12:13am On Feb 07, 2012
Is this Igbo friend the same guy that you said took advantage of you, the one with kids you never seen?
Re: Friends With Benifits? by 1stKlass(f): 12:28am On Feb 07, 2012
Zilja:

You never know what will happen. My options are open. It's not that I'm waiting on him to make a move or decision but right now its working for the both of us. We've talked about it and is pretty honest with eachother on what we are doingl. Respect!  I don't allow my emotions to get in the way only because I have gone in with my eyes open. At the end of the day, I'm cool until either of us decide that it's not working. Thanks for the comments.

It's not my terms that he's not abiding by, it's our tems that we have set for ourselves. There are otherthings involved that I'd rahter not talk about.
I just wanted to get your thoughts on the situation.   

I hear you, and no problem. The only thing I would add is that I have not yet seen where both *friends* can walk away from a FWB situation without one feeling more hurt than the other despite the honesty and upfrontness of the situation. I have seen it happen to a few of my friends. Its human nature to get emotionally involved with someone you are sleeping with. Thats just the way it rolls.
Re: Friends With Benifits? by Mynd44: 12:32am On Feb 07, 2012
Hmmm
Re: Friends With Benifits? by Nobody: 2:16am On Feb 07, 2012
@OP
one of the main reason why many "FWB" relationships dont end up well is because many try to change the r/ship along the way (due to some unknown reason). many get emotional while such r/ship IS purely physical etc

also, there are BASICS OF LIFE that one can never overrule. here are a quick photos that would help you with it. failure to follow it will almost ALWAYS result in failure.

also below is the bootay call's agreement (aka friends with benefit rules and regulations). i have posted it on NL a few times (Mrs C will attest to that lol) but since OP clearly has never laid eyes on one of them, i will oblige once again!

Re: Friends With Benifits? by Nobody: 2:49am On Feb 07, 2012
Friends with benefit indeed
Re: Friends With Benifits? by mobf: 2:33pm On Feb 07, 2012
MRbrownJAY:

@OP
one of the main reason why many "FWB" relationships dont end up well is because many try to change the r/ship along the way (due to some unknown reason). many get emotional while such r/ship IS purely physical etc

also, there are BASICS OF LIFE that one can never overrule. here are a quick photos that would help you with it. failure to follow it will almost ALWAYS result in failure.

also below is the bootay call's agreement (aka friends with benefit rules and regulations). i have posted it on NL a few times (Mrs C will attest to that lol) but since OP clearly has never laid eyes on one of them, i will oblige once again!







Nice
Re: Friends With Benifits? by iice(f): 6:09pm On Feb 07, 2012
Doesn't work well with emotional creatures like humanoids. 
One usually gets hurts, one says what he/she thinks the other wants to hear, one will always change position from initial stance.
That doc MBJ posted should be implemented so that it's binding and prosecutable grin  Na so to deal with these erratic species lipsrsealed
Re: Friends With Benifits? by Youngpo413: 2:01pm On Oct 09, 2014
joudini:
He wants a child from you which you have stoutly insisted you can't. And l assume you appreciate the 'friends with benefit' plan until he finds what he is looking for. I assume you like this man so much you cant bear to let him go.

Dont delay the inevitable. Of what use is it holding a man with a poosie when you know he is desperately trying outside for a child. Let him go and find a man who will love you without conditions.

I can only wonder what benefit he is offering you.


sex ofcourse,what else,women loves sex!

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