abeleon:

not that i tell everybody to disregard, but my real question is, should it be the sole decision taker when it comes to our blooming of love?

No. You should understand that love (when it coincides w/ respect & understanding) is rare. But wake with your eyes open my friend. Do.

;;

dakmanzero:

@abeleon, i will have to assume you are the one in question here.

don't do it.

why take such a risk? you aren't even risking your OWN life, but the life of another!

if someone told you to take a gun with 4 chambers, loaded with a bullet in one of the chambers, spin it and point at one of your children, would u pull the trigger and hope the bullet isnt in the barrel? by PURE RANDOM CHANCE?

can you kill your own child? giving birth to SS is even worse than the above because at least the child will die instantly with a bullet, not slowly over a period of many years. What if you arent rich? what if u can't afford to support the child? and the child WILL DIE most definitely.


if its just for info purposes, well, agree or disagree, its your choice. BUT if u are making a real decision I BEG you, DON'T DO IT!!!!!

love is a completely lame excuse! DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!

wow! i'm lost for words.

i really haven't looked at it like that before, men. what an analogy!
i get the message, thanks bro.

do you have an experience of these? it sounds too real to be imagined?

One of my BEST FRIENDS (a guy) is an SS. He lives in the same compound as I do and I see what he goes thru. It is horrible. I wont go into details but the guy is still alive, thank God. However there is always a hidden subtext in everything he does, with every plan he makes. He has a great career going and a beautiful girlfriend. We are always praying for him.

One of my guys back in school was an SS, but he hid it well. Until he died, that is. Sad thing is he had a twin sister who believed the world ended at his feet. You can only imagine what it did to her. By the way she's AA. u know the twins have a way of 'sharing' the genotype dont u? I guess u dont think its a big deal to be torn between whether its u or ure parents that caused ure twin's death.

My first love was an SS. I wont go any further

Theres the girl I posted about earlier who's dead now. U know about her already.

I have a friend in the office who's relationship was the envy of everyone who knew them (for real. Im not dramatizing or exaggerating.) They were about to get married when they found they were AS/AS. Look, the only reason we know this at all is because it seemed like a total impossibility for those two not to get married. not so impossible anymore eh? thank sickle cell. At least they were smart enough not to go ahead but the fact that they have to break up without any disagreement/problem is terrible for them. U see even making an AS can be a problem.

Dude, the story goes on. Sickle cell deserves to be wiped out and the only way this can happen is if we put our selfishness behind us and eradicate AS/AS marriages and SS+ AS/SS marriages which are the only ways an SS child can be born. Please take this into account and tell anyone else you know who has the misguided notion that its somehow right to play God with someone else's life because of 'love'.

You will be making the world a better place.

Dakmanzero n odas u av analysed it pretty well. What i feel, from the christian point of view, is that AS and AS can get married if and ONLY if it actualy is GOD'S will, cos He alone knows n surely His 'blessings addeth no sorrows'. Aside this, people should nt bring untold suffering n trauma upon their offsprings wen it could av bn avoided.

Please.

NO AS AND AS MARRIAGES.

It can NOT be God's will because God does not HATE his children. As spirits we are children of GOD but if the irresponsibility and selfishness (or ignorance) of the parents causes that spirit to inhabit a DEFECTIVE BODY then the parents have the child's BLOOD on their hands.

Please try and understand- there is no way an AS/AS marriage can be seen as a good thing, even if no SS child is born, the act of marriage is just as evil, like using a machete on your wife and being happy that 'at least she was not injured'

man, dark man zero, i must say you have a way with words. pretty strong analogies u have i must say. like i said earlier, i get the message.

also, like i said, i knew you must have had some pretty bad experiences to be this descriptive about this issue. sorry for the losses that where personal.

now, where you called a marriage evil just because it was between two people with same genotype AS, i don't agree. as dominobaby said, if God said go ahead. I'll tell anyone-even you to go ahead. why? because God said so. i absolutely trust HIM. even as a both AA couple, if He gave you an instruction to adopt an SS child that He wants to use you to bring up, won't you do it?

anyway, like i said earlier, i feel you. you have made your points. and clear too.

and with dominobaby too, if God says so, go on s'oun, nothing dey happen. no kain for where God dey!

It remains my opinion that such marriages must never happen under any circumstance.

But thats all it is: my opinion.

If I can make you see where I'm coming from, and it becomes your opinion too, I'm sure the world will be a better place, and we will have fewer and fewer sicklers until there are none.

However I cannot contradict people's religious belief. If sango worshippers believe that when lightning strikes 2 times on the first night they sleep with a fellow AS it means he endorses their marriage, I can't tell them otherwise. There's freedom of belief, freedom of worship, freedom of choice, and although AS/AS marriages are similar to murder from my point of view, the fact remains that it cannot be made to fall under the dictionary definition of murder, or any major human rights violation.


The best I can do is let them understand the full import of what they are doing.

Personally I do NOT believe God himself will endorse such a marriage, and any man of God that says he heard such and such from the Almighty has instantly lost all credibility with me. I believe this just as I believe God will not condone human sacrifice.

well, like i said, i get the message.

human sacrifice, wow!
*shudder*, sango worshippers , good sense of humor my friend!

how do u know if u have sickle ?? do u have to go the doctor to get tested

and wat is AS ? is it a blood type.

and i want to thank the creator of this topic because it really has educated me more and i am planning on doing more research.

It is never advisable that AS marry AS. I've lost 2 of my closest friends due to SS in secondary school and the university. The first one died when she was about to write her SSCE exams and enrole for JAMB. Imagine the hurt of the parents and all the school fees spent on her. waiting for her to write her SSCE, JAMB and enter the university!!Everything a waste!!Hurts truly hurts.

The second died in her second year at the university. Wonderful personality she was, all smiles, friendly, pretty. I saw her some days before she died. She was in pain. I felt her pain but i know i can never felt what she felt. Tis hell, real living hell to be a sickler.

I hate the disease with a passion and will never advice people to bring such wonderful personalities in the world only to suffer and die. Even if there is a 75% chance of not havin a sickler, consider the fact that if u mistakenly do, there'll be endless suffering,pain for bth the parents and the child and finally death.

Tis not worth it but again truly Many waters cannot quench love but if a couple reach a final decision to marry. They should be fully aware and ready to face the consequences.They must have money o. better money to spend.

I agree mostly agree with u until the many waters cannot quench love part.

They had better quench it quickquick.

Its not *them* that will face the consequences but an innocent victim who had no say in the matter. The only consequence they will face is the Guilt, and that is far from enough.

My position is that such unions should never happen. Happiness at anothers expense is the definition of evil. To play with the life of a child because u cant stop staring at some girl's boobs or some guy's arse is irresponsibility to the point of devilry. such inconsiderate people do not deserve to raise children.

Guys, Guys! I'm 26, M.sc student, happy go lucky, sickler. I intend to beat this stuff and be very successful. But no kidding anybody. To say Sickle cell is tough and horrible is gross understatement. Its hospital! hospital! hospital. I'v escaped death by the whiskers a couple of times. And that's just the Physical part. The emotional and pschological trauma is way beyond this earth. It needs GOD.

My parents generation were not that informed. Not this generation. AS and As couples intending to marry, honestly should be shot. Life is hard as it is. To bring a person with the difficulties of SS into the world is murderous.

wow, wow, wow! take it easy now on the choice of words, brothers. i said i get the message. you people are getting so extreme that you might start getting physical with anyone one opposing your ideas.

i better not see you people in the flesh now or else, you'ld murder me! !

@sirwebs. i'm really glad to see you are making it. i believe by God's grace you'll make it totally. He who's seen you thus far won't leave you now. amen,

dark man, you are scaring me with how dark you can really be now. , but have you checked your genotype? should newly weds who didn't put this issue into considration go divorce? how about the let-nothing-put-assunder talk?

don't put a gun to my head now, just want you guys to see that indeed many water cannot kill love.

cheers.

Sirwebs, I'm glad you're here & appreciated your contribution. Cheers.

I think I don't need to open my mouth and blather any longer. Anyone who has listened to @sirwebs speaking and is still in support of AS/AS unions would definitely not be affected by anything I say.

But in any case I'd like to respond to @abeleon:

1) Me dark? Just being real. And if the reality is dark, then so be it.
2) Being born into a 'medical family' where mummy, daddy, uncle, aunty, and everybody else is in the medical field has its advantages: I knew my genotype before I even knew what a genotype was.  And no, I'm not an SS or AS, I'm AA. And if u say 'it's easy for me to talk because I'm not AS' I'd say its easy for you to talk because you're not SS. But all that is irrelevant.
3) Newlyweds who have just discovered that they are AS/AS should put an end to the thing instantly or resolve NOT to have children. to play toss-the-coin with someone's life is to do the devil's work and consign to damnation every single prayer you have ever said as regards your children. If you'vehad kids already, congratulations, you're worse than a murderer already.
4) Let nothing put asunder- is wishful thinking. Stuff as trivial as ogogoro can put marriage asunder. Murder is anything but trivial.
5) Well, Ill assume you are saying the many waters thing on a lighter note, and normally I have a sense of humour and can joke about stuff, etc etc. However I feel a need to present an unwavering stance on this because I just have a feeling that threads like these may actually affect someones decision in the future, and I'd like to make my stance on the issue, at least, perfectly clear. And my stance is that if many waters cannot quench love then they had better go drown that love in the aAtlanticocean because if they don't they are destined to quench in something else, something much much hotter.

Thankyou.

dark man, like i said earlier, i got you.

i aprc8 your saying your plain and candid opinion.

and you are right, the whole reply was meant to be on a lighter mood.

and by the way what kindda codes do you conjure in the dark?

I never came across SS until I came to Nigeria. Thanks everyone for enlightening me. GR8 thread, it sound's so painfull, SS sufferer's you are in my prayers. Much love!

Dakman, i clearly undastand ur point, bt like i quoted, God wil add no sorrow to ur blessings! He surely would not cause his children to suffer. This is only advisable if both couples r SURE its God's will n moreso, they've got to have STRONG UNWAVERING FAITH.

my point of view exactly.

i believe that, not that i'm just trying to justify.

but to the wise they say, a word is enough.

dark man, you still haven't told me what you conjure?

Hmmm.

I see you remain steadfast. Hope you can teach any SS's that end up coming to earth as a result of that that there's nothing to it, 'tis just a small trial God is giving them (and you, of course) until he elevates them to Heavenly Glory (Amen)

*sigh* looks like the problem is here to stay, I guess.

eyaaa. Poor kids.

Anyway for what its worth, I'm a programmer by profession (and trade), hence the code conjuring thingy. Since I currently work for a Bank, the code I write these days is mainly arcane financial/statistical stuff (That makes for very boring conversation!!!)

Never heard about SS until i was about 8. my mom was a family doctor to a family friend whose last child was my agemate with SS. My mom was constantly being called as a matter of emergency to treat the boy. Until he was about 16 or so, my mom was constantly stocking up on drugs in case she had to see the boy as a matter of emergency some times in the middle of the night. The boy is still alive though.

A friend who graduated with me passed away in february, an SS patient. Save for his quiet demeanor and small stature you would never know he was SS. However, he never had a girlfriend and was completely aloof.

One i had the opportunity of meeting in junior school died in his second yr of college.

Please by all means, what love has joined together, SS may as a matter of urgency and medical exigency put asunder!

WORD! davidylan, deep! what more can i say?!

darkman, don't make it sound that bad. that guilt thingee has a way of doing more harm than intended.
that problem ain't here to stay. no thanks to e for bombarding earth with more 'sickle cellers'. i didn't say i was going to toss a coin, roll a barrel, take a chance with my babies life you know?

don't you have faith? you dont believe your words have had effect on me? helped me-and God knows how many millions, in taking some decisions as pertaining to life?
believe, believe the best in me!

and cool profession you have, though boring. in which bank now? i work in a bank too you know? could be the same one,

Amen ooooooo!

When SS is finally eradicated the world will be a better place, just like it is now that smallpox is gone, at least there's one less killer disease to make us worry for our children!

Nah, the job isnt boring per se, it just makes for boring conversation  . Now when  conversing with fellow bank-IT-people it can actually be very interesting 

fire me a yahoo messenger IM and ill tell u which bank I work for cant reveal it on a public forum, w00t!

@abelon

As marrying As to me is TRYING GOD, or should i say PUTTING GOD TO TEST

And what is this rubbish i hear that two carriers can get married? and when the woman concieves, she should go for a scan to see if the unborn child is a sickler, and if the child is, then u abort- thats Rubbish. what if in the first 10 yrs of marriage, all the children that may be concieved will be SS, and then the lady would have to go thru the pains of abortion 10 times. Do u think that the love will stand the test of time.

love especially love of these days fade- believe it or not

by the time the frustration of rushing a sicker child to the hospital every now and then, or the frustration of aborting an unborn child who may be a sickler, sets in--Will That Love survive? Will it stand the test of time?

Abeg, no one shold try it thats my honest advise

Love is the strongest thing one can be blessed with in marriage but marriage comes with responsibilities: money,education,health,security,social status e.t.c.About AS & AS are both couples financially able to see to the development of the child irrespective of what happens.Is their love able to conquer the stigma of failure.If not they should not.If they can ,they should tighten their belts what they are about to engage themselves will require love ,dedication,honesty,trustand most especially faith.

It is not funny to stigmatize people who have AS genetype.Cases of death are a result of mis-information,lack of proper health care and access to life itself.There is so much beauty to behold in people who have AS or SS.Their faith,sense to existence,INTELLIGENCE and LOVE.
REMEMBER LOVE CONQUERS ALL THINGS.

@Imani

Tanx Imani for the info, u r totally right, I got to knw about the fact new technology advancement means a couple can decide to terminate a pregnancy earlier if the baby is an SS carrier.

@Seun
Ur comments portray you as one of those living in the past.You don't just jump at conclusions like that, u put urself in their position first.

If two AS carriers marry each other, only one child of four will be SS, one shld be AA n the others two AS.Based on this, it is not totally wrong for two AS carriers not to carry one with their marriage. Though, I wld not give my total backing, but if they r strongly in love, then it's ok as long as they'll be terminating the pregnancy of the SS carrier.

Also, if they are lucky, their first two/three children might not be an SS carrier, if this happens to be the case, they shld stop having children. Afterall, people r allowed only one child in China or so!

@ Abeleon,

Tanx for bringing up such a very important topic that really determines alot in our future in Africa.

TobAddy,

it

should


never


happen


PERIOD

you are taking a gun with four slots in an empty barrel, loading one NOT with a bullet but with a poison dart filled with a DEADLY disease, sppinning the barrel and holding it to the heads of ALL your children , one by one.

YEAH BRAT! YOUR MOM AND ME COULDNT HOLD OUR AGGRO SO HAVE AT YE! ONE OUT OF FOUR SAYS YOU DIE A LONG, PAINFUL AND EXCRUCIATING DEATH WHILE BEING DENIED LIFE'S GREATEST PLEASURES!

Such people are insensitive and devilish. Strongly in love my arse. Go tell a sharia court u are 'strongly in love' with the Emir's wife when u were caught fornicating, shogbo?

Please they should forget it. My best friend at one point in my life was an SS. Out of six siblings four were ss while one was AA and the other AS. One SS is late now and I know what her parents go thru. I know what she herself go thru. Do u knw how many times she has blamed her parents within my hearing. Pls think deeply before taking a decision that may cost you a lot

Thank you.

it seems only those of us who are close to actual sicklers, or are sicklers ourselves, are able to give the one sensible answer to this question.

All that talk of love, devotion, etc is PURE BUNK AND BULLSHIT. If you feeel you oove yourselves, then go for sterilisation operations and kuku ma have no children ever ever ever. Better than playing with peoples lives in the name of God knows what.

AS+AS = EVIL

Don't do it! Dont even consider it! Never! In your life!

In this age of abundant information, people sometimes have to make tough decisions with thier HEAD and not HEART.


AS + AS  is suicide.