Which aspects of our culture needs to be abolished in today's era of enlightenment? One is the idea of organizing a lavish funeral upon the death of a relative. People get into debt to satisfy the mandate of tradition for fear of looking bad in front of others or worse, being afraid that the 'ghost' of the deceased (particularly, if they had a high ranking title in the village) haunt them subsequently for dispossessing their corpse in a shallow manner. Cows, Goats, bags of rice are bought and fed to the teeming crowds in expensive uniforms of lace and agbada adorned with pictures of the deceased while guests will praise you, "You don do am, now your papa go rest in peace, not realizing you are under pressure racking your brain on how to offset the bills in the forth coming months or even years.

What else?

Lavish weddings?

keeptalkin:

Lavish weddings?

That's a world wide trend. I even read in a publication that there are some brides (I think in China) who will hire attractive models to serve as their bridesmaids.

Ndipe:

Which aspects of our culture needs to be abolished in today's era of enlightenment? One is the idea of organizing a lavish funeral upon the death of a relative. People get into debt to satisfy the mandate of tradition for fear of looking bad in front of others or worse, being afraid that the 'ghost' of the deceased (particularly, if they had a high ranking title in the village) haunt them subsequently for dispossessing their corpse in a shallow manner. Cows, Goats, bags of rice are bought and fed to the teeming crowds in expensive uniforms of lace and agbada adorned with pictures of the deceased while guests will praise you, "You don do am, now your papa go rest in peace, not realizing you are under pressure racking your brain on how to offset the bills in the forth coming months or even years.

What else?

The sad thing is that some of these people are only remembered when they are dead.

That is one of the reasons I pray God to maintain my father for me

One of the things that should be abolished is the cast and Osu system but I fear laws alone cannot achieve that.
the harsh treatment of widows on loss of their husband, female circumcision, male circumcision should be optional.

Ndipe and double standards!

Lavish weddings which is obviously a borrowed culture sounds norm and cool to you,right?cos according to u,its a worldwide trend?

If we wanna condemn lavish ceremonies,it should be all round and balanced.

I don't support "forced" lavish ceremonies,mind you,be it for celebration of life or death but if one can afford and has within him/her seen reasons to do it big,so be it.

And that "lavish funeral" stuff is NOT a must,Forget the lies people spin on WWW.With exception of royalties,no one is forced to have a big funeral for the dead!People can suggest,people can choose not to attend but NO one would stop anyone from burying his/her dead cos s/he did not throw a lavish ceremony.

@Topic,brb.

Almajiri!

Any tradition that degrades other menbers of the community should be abolished. I'm referring to the OSU caste system in Alaigbo.

Younger brother marrying the wife of his late elder brother,, it sucks

How can funeral be "lavish" funeral?

Norms and culture does not force anybody to embark on frivolous spending in any kind of ceremony but people want to show-off their wealth.If you venture into it then,you have to pay the price which is "indebtedness"

Sharia

A

The truth is that in most of these things nobody forces anyone to spend 'recklessly' during any ceremony, be it wedding, funeral etc.  Its the prerogative of the celebrant to spend as he wishes and if he borrows to spend, it his business.  One guy carried hard drugs to fulfill a wedding plan of 600k and its not as if anybody imposed the expenses on him.  I havent heard  of any village where expenses are imposed on people to bury their relations.  People spend money to boost their rather pathetic egos and then turn around to blame it on the society.  Even on the Osu caste system in Igboland.  I see no problem because nobody is responsible for being born into any family so why bother why someone else thinks about you. If for instance a guy says he will not marry a girl because she is osu, then he does not desire the girl and girls should not be apologetic about where they are born into as they didnt make any input into it.  As for me my conscience and God are the only two people i fear.  As fas as my conscience is clear on anything i am doing and i can sleep with my conscience i dont let anything worry me. If anybody  for the system to be phased out, forget it, India hasnt phased out its caste out.  Where i come from there is an osu caste system in place but its ignored in the main.  It doesnt stop anybody from doing anything.

[size=64pt]CHRISTIANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/size]

d idea of pregnancy b4 marriage, also putting unnecesary presure on a lady who isnt married and making her feel inadequate,also d issue of men physically assaulting his wife should be eliminated and finally blaming d victim of rape on d type of clothes she wears and d family discouraging her from pressing charges

PAGAN 9JA:

[size=64pt]CHRISTIANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/size]

Anuofia

Unnecessary owambe parties.
Can you imagine celebrating 40 year remembrance while cousins, if not some kids and grandchildren of the deceased are jobless and struggling to pay their own bills.
Or the old school and university of the late person are in a sorry state and some indigent students could use schorlarships for better LEGACY.

slyopez:

Anuofia

^Maka gini?
Otondo!

@Anonini,All those things u listed are optional and individual choices/decisions.No one forces anyone to host/attend an owambe.Its all about individual priorities and wants.

@ Ify

About lavish burial & force or no force, with due respect my sister, pressure from siblings to do it big can be more than force oo. I know what I am talking about. You won't know if you haven't experienced it.

Naija have different cultures and varies from place to place. Threat from family members to abandon the corpse for you if you don't step up. You can say make them abandon am na,  I go just bury by myself.
But it's not funny if you are the one perceived as the most well off child.

Even how many cows to slaughter and how many dance bands to invite all can be source of family argument.

Top of my list of what to abandon is lavish funeral under pressure. Even if crayfish or okpoloko was all I could afford while parent is alive for her to cook soup, it means a thousand times more to me than killing 4 or 5 cows for strangers to eat at burial.

The next is irresponsible elders stifling the voice and ideas of younger ones in  the name of respect.
Seeing and daughter-in-law as an outsider instead of a sister/daughter-in-law. Remember son/daughter in law is a western concept, the educared classes my see it as such but traditionally the new bride is "wife" of the whole family as expected to be a servant.

Female circumsision by some binis. Though it has been outlawed, its still been practiced by many( even so called educated).

Unwanton spraying of money during funerals. I was grossly pissed off when my Dad told me that this was Bini culture. Culture my foot!

There is this fetish culture in Lagos (I don't know what they call it) that forbids movement of people (people keep indoors) whenever their activities are on.

This also happens even in the heart of Lagos (Ikeja). Lagos as a megacity should do away with such culture.

PAGAN 9JA:

[size=64pt]CHRISTIANITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/size]

Last I checked CHRISTIANITY was and never a Nigerian Culture.

Area fada,IMO thats personal/Familal problem not culture.
I think we all need to start off first by defining Culture and cultural pratices.

Culture is not same with societal/generally accepted norm.

Area fada,IMO thats personal/Familal problem not culture.
I think we all need to start off first by defining Culture and cultural pratices.

Culture is not same with societal/generally accepted norm.

Koolking:

Last I checked CHRISTIANITY was and never a Nigerian Culture.

Don't mind the mugun. He forgets that Christianity isn't indigenous to our nation.

my personal opinion.

The Nigerian culture of over respecting elders should be looked into. In a lot of cases these elders have always taken us for a ride and that is why the youths have not been able to raise their voice in contributing to the country. Although things are changing, with the likes of Omoyele Sowore of Sahara reporters any Nigerian youth that feel cheated by an elder should seek justice immediately.

Of seeing foreigners as potential threats!

yemmy_ma:

my personal opinion.

The Nigerian culture of over respecting elders should be looked into. In a lot of cases these elders have always taken us for a ride and that is why the youths have not been able to raise their voice in contributing to the country. Although things are changing, with the likes of Omoyele Sowore of Sahara reporters any Nigerian youth that feel cheated by an elder should seek justice immediately.

GBAM!!! This is the #1 thing that must go. Question authority or prepare to be cheated!!

- Another thing that must go is our overly supersitious beliefs. "Oh, my chest hurts. My enemies must be trying to kill me, BLOOD OF JESUS!!"  Please go see a doctor instead of wailing about imaginary haters. Nigerians are perishing for lack of knowledge.

- Don't wait till you're almost dead before you see the doctor. I know someone that got hiv, then disappeared and went from babalawo to priest to pastor looking for cure. After she was found and forced to go to the hospital for diagnosis & treatment, she refused to take her ARVs cos whe was waiting on divine healing. She died not long after. I believe it developed to full blown aids (which could have been avoided if she just took the medicine). Nigerians are perishing for lack of knowledge.

- Also, being overweight is not a sign of being wealthy. It's a sign of lack of control of eating habits. Let fitness become a thing of beauty instead of pregnant men and circular women.

- Also, we need to admit that addiction, mental illness, depression, etc affect Nigerians too. Don't wait until that man that always talks funny goes and hurts himself or even worse, hurts others before sending him to get medical attention. Although we'd like to act like we're different, mental issues affect us just like everyone. It's not right to tell someone who's having a hard time to 'get over it.' It's OK to seek help for these issues.

- While we're doing all of the above, why don't we spare the lady that gave birth to only daughters. It's not her fault OK! It's biology, and she will only get pregnant with what the man gives her. Oversabi husbands, mother/father in-laws and relatives, please take note and let a woman enjoy her marriage!

- BTW, what's so bad about having many daughters? As a woman, this one personally offends me. Are you saying I'm not good enough?

- Calling a child a witch is never OK.

- It's OK for your child to be left handed. Please don't beat the poor kid.

- It's not cool for your children to not know how to speak their native language, and to not know the way around their own village. It's a shame.

- Stop treating oyibo people like they're gods. They have one brain and two hands just like us. Nigeria would have been a totally different place (would we even exist?) if our ancestors had not been so awestruck by foreigners.

I could go on forever.

Extended family system. One person ends up carrying the load of many family extensions