@ queensmith, Gender inequality? Puhleaaaase, What does gender inequality actually me.an, Marriage is not abt everybody doing equal work, It's abt everyone doing his job responsibly,
And Penisworship, hehehehe, I never even knew the penis should be worshiped, Wow that's great, It means girls should actually pay me offering for doing them, What I'm familiar with is pussyworship sha, Very common in Nigeria, Paying to get IT, thru dates, movie tickets, gifts etc, I can't marry any woman that will just come and sit on my couch and look fine, Abeg I'll rather invest in a large plasma screen TV, A woman should be a woman simple, Is that too much to ask for, Hollywood and mexican soap has cause wahala I swear,

12inches thats not pussy worship. Thats transactional sex. And the reason why its soo predominant in Nigeria is because the men have nothing to offer but their money. Someone said we have a culture of draining mens finances, why will we not when men continue to use it as leverage and the women refuse to work? We end up with a culture that confines a woman to the kitchen regardless of whether or not she is also doing other things.

@chaircover im assuming your a housewife. And when i say housewife minus your maternity leave youve worked less hours outside of the home than your husband.
Many nigerian women trade a career for a marriage and a job for children, still doesnt mean they are on this earth to cook and clean. Cooking is not rocket science and neither is cleaning. Women with with professions do not behave like housewives. It's simply not possible, we may take a 50/50 opinon differently oyibo women are not subjected to thier husbands like Nigerian women are. Nobody can deny this. Its not a misconception, how many oyibo women do you know serve their husbands? How many full time working oyibo women do you know cook and clean without the husbands help? How many full time working oyibo women don't contribute to the house's expenses? Please marriage is very very equal, as equal as it can get anyways.

Lol its an assumption please correct me if im wrong.

I think such an arrangement is outdated and unnecesary but thats my opinion people are different. But this doesnt mean a womans place is in the kitchen or a man shouldnt throw his weight about. A wife is a wife and not a maid.

I agree with you Queensmith.
I wonder why men can't help out more with chores, it will help their wives a lot.

Anyway, I spoke with my husband yesterday and he has agreed to help out more and he suggested buying our dinner on our way back from work most evenings.

As for the suggestion to move closer to my place of work, that might not go down well as we don't pay any rent now but if we move we have to pay rent and it will be far for him. We work at two different ends of Lagos and I moved in to his end after the marriage. I leave home at 5am and get back at 9pm.

We have plans to move to somewhere in between as soon as we can afford it.

I am glad that so many other women find this juggling of career and wife thing stressful. As for the super women who say its a piece of cake, KUDOS! I guess domestic chores is your area of strength.

Its really funnie, all these posts.

And hbabe, trust mi u still ave a lot to juggle with.

I also work in lagos and like u, work is at d oda end of town. This is wot i do,

My husband n i work in the same area, so we come n go home together, and when we get home depending on the time, we may just get some bread n eat with stew! Thankfully, hubby isnt the food type, so he doesnt really boader mi whether there's food or not. Thats one understanding we both have.

Abt the chores, frankly in my house, there's no wife work or hubby work, we do d work as it comes, if after i make dinner n d plates r unwashed, he'l just pick dem up and do d washing, if i see d house is dusty, i take d broom sweep n mop, if he sees dirty clothes in d lundry basket, he'l just thrown dem in d washin machine n dats done, and its does make life easy for me, for us, and guess wot I DONT HAVE A MAID!

Mind u, we ave a baby, almost 12months old now, so, i have to be up everyday at 4.30am to get mi n d baby ready cos he also goes off to creche, while we all set out by 5.45am everyday, and u can imagine d trouble i would ave bein in if hubby isnt supportive,

So, i'd say good ting u ave discussed with ur hubby, there's no need to stress urself, its still just d 2 of u, and with proper understanding, i see no reason y u shd kill urself over chores, getting home as late as 9pm, trustmi, i wld simply jst go to bed! and do woteva i can over d weekend.

Thank you for the encouragement, Tobiegal.

Thinking of adding a baby to this present wahala makes my heart beat faster. I now appreciate my mum, understanding she was was a career women with 6 kids and a husband that loved food. Lol

hbabe:

Thank you for the encouragement, Tobiegal.

U r welcome dearie,

Thinking of adding a baby to this present wahala makes my heart beat faster. I now appreciate my mum, understanding she was was a career women with 6 kids and a husband that loved food. Lol

Please o! go ahead n add d baby, and as per momise, i can only imagine!!! i sometimes ask myself 'how did dey do it' with an average of 5kids, God dey sha,

This our own generation eh, pikin no go pass 2 o!!!! considering all dis wahala one must go tru.

@ queensmith &Uju

Career is Good. A wife also understands the importance of her family and why she is made a wife and not just a woman or a husband. Its not about religion its about your own style of making your home what u want. If dragging chores with a man is what makes one a career woman, i wonder what makes a man the head of the family.

Anyway the poster is only asking on how to cope with her chores and not how to share it with her husband.

@ poster, I am sure u have been able to pick tips that could help from all the posts and most importantly no two marriages are the same. So know what works for you and not what someone is doing else u could burn ur fingers. Be a wife and not just a woman.

Ninapha:

@ queensmith &Uju

Career is Good. A wife also understands the importance of her family and why she is made a wife and not just a woman or a husband. Its not about religion its about your own style of making your home what u want. If dragging chores with a man is what makes one a career woman, i wonder what makes a man the head of the family.

Anyway the poster is only asking on how to cope with her chores and not how to share it with her husband.

@ poster, I am sure u have been able to pick tips that could help from all the posts and most importantly no two marriages are the same. So know what works for you and not what someone is doing else u could burn ur fingers. Be a wife and not just a woman.

You are misunderstanding the whole thing. Nobody is talking about dragging chores . . . sometimes the man might do these things better than the woman. Who says the woman MUST be the one to do it?

My husband is a much neater person than I am and so by default he does 80% of the cleaning in the house. He doesn't think he's doing me a favour cos we both work and I do the most I can!

The poster is asking for how to cope with chores when she lives alone with her husband! The most sensible advice to give would be to get her hubby to help out around the house. Why should she have to do everything herself?

A wife is understandably the default housekeeper, just like a man is the default provider. But when a woman has to work to support the family too, common sense indicates that the man has to throw in his bit in doing some chores.

As far as I'm concerned, only a wicked man will sit down and fold his legs while his wife runs around the house doing chores, when they both came back from s stressful day.

Ujujoan:


A wife is understandably the default housekeeper, just like a man is the default provider. But when a woman has to work to support the family too, common sense indicates that the man has to throw in his bit in doing some chores.

As far as I'm concerned, only a wicked man will sit down and fold his legs while his wife runs around the house doing chores, when they both came back from s stressful day.

@ Uju, i sure do agree with u,

We need to erase dis mentality of man does dis woman do dat!

For bits sake, when two pple come togeda, dey were first n foremost, FRIENDS. So, why cant we still maintain dat same thingie, why must my "Friend' suddenly change because we r married?

I dont see anything wrong with a guy doing stuffs around d house frankly, and am raising ma boy up to be just like his dad.

Gone are d days where d man provides solely for his family, while even those that are full housewives still employ Maids to do stuff for them, so wot are we talking abt?

Tobiegal:

@ Uju, i sure do agree with u,

I am happy Uju understands that the wife is indeed the stationed housekeeper. Thats fair enough. No one wishes to die trying to prove superwoman, there is still a way to achieve it without bringing in "We need to erase dis mentality of man does dis woman do dat! "logic because u sure cant. Except u :



1. Wish to be married to a zombie (2) Someone you would provide for and (3) A confirmed woman rapper

Families are fashioned to work with responsibilities and obligations. A good man wont be told to help out and its the dream of every woman but its not a rule.

There is nothing frankly wrong with a man doing stuff, some would do it happily, some would even do it and u may end up redoing it, some wont at all, if he wont at all then what i need is his understanding, get all the machinery to ease them and you the woman the administrative sense to put them into good use. That is also a way of helping.


On a lighter note, I hv an uncle who is always quarreling with the wife because he is extremely good in house chores and that turned him into a " nagging husband" Always complaining about how this are kept, how foods are cooked etc. Abeg i no wan dat kinda husband's help ooo

c.fours:

of course since you guys are so damn cheap. even a monkey from jungle could date/marry an African male. so what is the matter?
A woman has to be pretty classy to date a white guy. Not always but usually.

Point is: White women definitely aren't submissive like African ones are expected to be. Go and marry a white woman and you will be lucky if she cook for you 3 times out of the week sef. and by cooking I don't mean frozen sandwich.

You are a cretin!

You are an absolute cretin!

First of all, lets make it very clear that don't think my blood pressure is raised because you insinuate classless people date black men. I am just in utter shock you can open your moronic gob and say such a dumb statement comfortably. You are a cretin!

From this day, I can never respect you and I can never speak to you with any iota of respect. You are a cretin!

So, fooooooool, explain to me, is it "pretty classy" girls you see dating all those white expatriates in Nigeria?

Cretin, explain to me, is it "pretty classy" girls from Thailand, Russia etc you see dating and marrying white men on holiday?

Dimwit, explain, is it "pretty classy" girls you see dating white guys in the hood/council flats/projects etc?

You are a cretin! An utter moooron!

WHY SLAVE YOURSELF AT WORK WHEN YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO COOK SOMETHING VALUABLE FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR HUSBAND?

WHY DO YOU WORK?

THE ONLY THING THAT'S YOURS IS WHAT YOU EAT INSIDE OF YOU, NOT EVEN THE MONEY YOU MAKE, WHY BE A SLAVE AT WORK WITHOUT COMPLAINING BUT COMPLAINING DOING WHAT SHOULD BE MAKING YOU HAPPY?

ARE YOU COOKING FOR STRANGERS OR YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONE?


REMEMBER, THE ONLY THING YOU CAN CONTROL IS YOUR TIME, IF YOU SELL IT OFF TO AN EMPLOYER, YOU END UP BEING HIS OR HER SLAVE,

FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO THAT GIVES YOU TIME TO CATER FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR LOVED ONES.

SO MUCH FOR EDUCATION, I SUBSCRIBE TO ENTREPRENEURSHIP, LEARN HAND-WORK/SERVICES AND STOP DEPENDING ON WHITE OR READ COLAR JOBS ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR YOUTHFUL LIFE.

^^*vomit*- why don't they all quit their jobs and beg for bread on the street. kmt

Sagamite- More black men date white (and other) women that black women dating white men. Explain

Ninapha- I cannot reconcile with anything you say. And coming from a woman I'm finding most of it disheartening. 'stationed housekeeper'?
We thank God for the women that brought us freedom. Left to women like you stationed housekeeping is all we'll be known for.

Hbabe- Good luck with it jare. Been fighting soo much here I even forgot the reason were discussing . take regular breaks from it all and spurge on fast food! but dont get fat! lol. at least not until the babies come!

queensmith:

Sagamite- More black men date white (and other) women that black women dating white men. Explain

Because white men are hardly attracted to black women.

Their indoctrination of beauty is the sticks-with-hair they are brainwashed to see as beauty and they are also not interested in people they see as aggressive as it is not an attractive feminine feature.

Secondly, black women themselves are not that attracted to white men, they prefer black.

Black men tend to date other women because the are seen as the symbol of strong. They are more swaggerlicious. They are seen as some dark, mysterious and forbidden bad boys. There are rumours they are well hunged. They are also more bold hence tend to approach women more, suggesting confidence. All very attractive, masculine traits to women.

For girls from some strong, entrenched cultures where all those masculine traits are not valued, black men have a very low chance. E.g. cultures like Indian (money and social class is supreme) and Arab (religion is supreme). That is why you don't see those ones dating black men. If Indian girls ever miss road, it is most likely to a white man because white men are more socially affluent and off course they don't question their social class as it would be perceived as one of the top ones automatically. I have dated Indian girls before, I know all this shyt. They will be less scared taking a white man home to the parents than taking a black man.

Is that clear? Explained? It is not because of some moronic claim that you need to be classy to date a white man.

@queensmith

 Quitting your slavery job makes you beg for food on the street? why are you sounding like a baby? those who don't do this slavery jobs end up begging on the street?  you see what i am saying, once they can't find job with the certificates, they remain useless, this only happens to those without any PLAN B,

She's slaving away without having any time to even cook good food for herself, why then is she working? your time is all you need to manage, get a job that is fit for a married woman, i would not advise any married woman to work in a bank or any institution that takes 5am of your morning and releases you by 7pm of your evening,

Lets do it this way, the man and the woman works and they both come home late, so tell me, who's going to actually cover for the other person? they don't even have kids yet, use your head people, not all jobs are meant for all kind of people,

ONLY SINGLE MAN OR WOMAN SHOULD WORK IN ANY KIND OF PLACE THAT REQUIRE YOU WAKE UP BY 5AM AND GET HOME BY 8PM.

freshcvv:

WHY SLAVE YOURSELF AT WORK WHEN YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO COOK SOMETHING VALUABLE FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR HUSBAND?

WHY DO YOU WORK?

THE ONLY THING THAT'S YOURS IS WHAT YOU EAT INSIDE OF YOU, NOT EVEN THE MONEY YOU MAKE, WHY BE A SLAVE AT WORK WITHOUT COMPLAINING BUT COMPLAINING DOING WHAT SHOULD BE MAKING YOU HAPPY?

ARE YOU COOKING FOR STRANGERS OR YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONE?


REMEMBER, THE ONLY THING YOU CAN CONTROL IS YOUR TIME, IF YOU SELL IT OFF TO AN EMPLOYER, YOU END UP BEING HIS OR HER SLAVE,

FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO THAT GIVES YOU TIME TO CATER FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR LOVED ONES.

SO MUCH FOR EDUCATION, I SUBSCRIBE TO ENTREPRENEURSHIP, LEARN HAND-WORK/SERVICES AND STOP DEPENDING ON WHITE OR READ COLAR JOBS ALL THE DAYS OF YOUR YOUTHFUL LIFE.

Oh boy! Quitting your job just so you can cook for your husband? I need to go wash out my brain now. Got to erase this post from my memory!

freshcvv:

@queensmith

 Quitting your slavery job makes you beg for food on the street? why are you sounding like a baby? those who don't do this slavery jobs end up begging on the street?  you see what i am saying, once they can't find job with the certificates, they remain useless, this only happens to those without any PLAN B,

She's slaving away without having any time to even cook good food for herself, why then is she working? your time is all you need to manage, get a job that is fit for a married woman, i would not advise any married woman to work in a bank or any institution that takes 5am of your morning and releases you by 7pm of your evening,

Lets do it this way, the man and the woman works and they both come home late, so tell me, who's going to actually cover for the other person? they don't even have kids yet, use your head people, not all jobs are meant for all kind of people,

ONLY SINGLE MAN OR WOMAN SHOULD WORK IN ANY KIND OF PLACE THAT REQUIRE YOU WAKE UP BY 5AM AND GET HOME BY 8PM.

Do you live in Nigeria? I doubt it! I have to work, and so does my husband. If not, we WILL beg for food! The scarcity of work makes us make do with what we can find.

I want to work in a 9.00am  - 3.00pm job, but I can't cos I cant get one. I'm sure my hubby would also love less hectic hours (who no like better thing)!

'get a job that is fit for a married woman' . . .  hello? is your father Dangote? Please be real abeg.

freshcvv:

@queensmith

 Quitting your slavery job makes you beg for food on the street? why are you sounding like a baby? those who don't do this slavery jobs end up begging on the street?  you see what i am saying, once they can't find job with the certificates, they remain useless, this only happens to those without any PLAN B,

Everyone at one point in time would be an enterpreur as you have stated. They are not useless when they dont get jobs, one can only get creative. Besides, how wld u kick start ur plan B if dre's no Plan A

freshcvv:

@queensmith

 She's slaving away without having any time to even cook good food for herself, why then is she working? your time is all you need to manage, get a job that is fit for a married woman, i would not advise any married woman to work in a bank or any institution that takes 5am of your morning and releases you by 7pm of your evening,

When a job pays ur bill, call it wot u want, it pays d bill. If she wld ask her hubby if she shd resign, am so sure he'll say NO.

Besides, why wld you say a married woman cant work in a bank Wot for every occupation has its hazzards, even those dat do buying n selling would be away till late at some point in time, I am married, and work in a Bank, Husband also works in a Bank, and we ave a baby! and guess wot We r doing just fine.

Its important for every family to do wot works for them,

freshcvv:


Lets do it this way, the man and the woman works and they both come home late, so tell me, who's going to actually cover for the other person? they don't even have kids yet, use your head people, not all jobs are meant for all kind of people,

ONLY SINGLE MAN OR WOMAN SHOULD WORK IN ANY KIND OF PLACE THAT REQUIRE YOU WAKE UP BY 5AM AND GET HOME BY 8PM.

What is there to cover for They'l both discuss how their day went, advise each other, eat, watch tinsel and go to bed! big deal!

Wot happens wen d single woman working in the bank probably earns more dan hubby do resign?  

Ninapha:


I am happy Uju understands that the wife is indeed the stationed housekeeper. Thats fair enough. No one wishes to die trying to prove superwoman, there is still a way to achieve it without bringing in "We need to erase dis mentality of man does dis woman do dat! "logic because u sure cant. Except u :



1. Wish to be married to a zombie (2) Someone you would provide for and (3) A confirmed woman rapper

Families are fashioned to work with responsibilities and obligations. A good man wont be told to help out and its the dream of every woman but its not a rule.

There is nothing frankly wrong with a man doing stuff, some would do it happily, some would even do it and u may end up redoing it, some wont at all, if he wont at all then what i need is his understanding, get all the machinery to ease them and you the woman the administrative sense to put them into good use. That is also a way of helping.


On a lighter note, I hv an uncle who is always quarreling with the wife because he is extremely good in house chores and that turned him into a " nagging husband" Always complaining about how this are kept, how foods are cooked etc. Abeg i no wan dat kinda husband's help ooo

A husband doing chores in a house where his wife works is not 'help'! Everybody has h/her responsibility in the home, but when a woman has to work to support the family financially, its obvious that the man cannot just sit back and talk about 'helping' her with the chores.

It's not about being married to a zombie who provides for you and then womanizes. If I have to stay at home while my husband works,then common sense indicates that I keep the house clean and cook the food and do all the other chores. But If I have to work too, then what time will I have to be this super woman

well for me, it's not a problem in my home cos my husband doesnt think I have to do all the cleaning and cooking and shooping while he folds his legs. But if it were, God knows he'll definitely come home many times to an empty table. I no fit shout!

PS, my husband nags too oh . . . especially when I pile my dirty laundry I recently moved all my properties to one of the spare rooms just to have my peace of mind!

@those who responded to my comment:

What happens when you lose that same job, are you going to die? won't there be a PLAN B?

I ask again why do people work when you don't even have the time to enjoy the reward by eating good food and spending quality time on yourself and that of your loved ones?

Aside 5am-8pm jobs, are there no other jobs you can do? i as again, what if you lose that job tomorrow? are you still not going to plan?

EKO bank is about sacking thousands, Access already did EVEN WITH THE WAKING UP BY 5AM AND COMING HOME BY 8PM, NOT EATING GOOD FOOD, SLEEPING LIKE A SLAVE, EATING LIKE A SLAVE, STRESSED UP, A 25YRS OLD LOOKING LIKE 40, are all these people going to die off because they were sacked? get something that won't make you a time slave, go solo, look for what you can do that people'll pay you for, depending on your certificates as if you exist for that is dangerous.

Ujujoan:


well for me, it's not a problem in my home cos my husband doesnt think I have to do all the cleaning and cooking and shooping while he folds his legs. But if it were, God knows he'll definitely come home many times to an empty table. I no fit shout!

PS, my husband nags too oh . . . especially when I pile my dirty laundry I recently moved all my properties to one of the spare rooms just to have my peace of mind!

Correct!

Ur gist sounds very familiar!!!

freshcvv:

@those who responded to my comment:

What happens when you lose that same job, are you going to die? won't there be a PLAN B?

I ask again why do people work when you don't even have the time to enjoy the reward by eating good food and spending quality time on yourself and that of your loved ones?

U sef answer my question, abi u don forget ur alphabets ni, before a PLAN B, isnt dre a PLAN A?

Are u saying that all d food u eat outside ur house is bad? abi which one is eating good food, dat u cook ur own food doesnt make it good o! I spend quality time with hubby every other minute, nobi only for house, we come n go togeda, n jist along d way, even through d tireless traffic of lagos. so pls spare mi biko!

As for those getting saked, God dey. we wld all be compensated for our hard work at one point in time or the other. chinkena!

freshcvv:

@those who responded to my comment:

What happens when you lose that same job, are you going to die? won't there be a PLAN B?

I ask again why do people work when you don't even have the time to enjoy the reward by eating good food and spending quality time on yourself and that of your loved ones?

Aside 5am-8pm jobs, are there no other jobs you can do? i as again, what if you lose that job tomorrow? are you still not going to plan?

EKO bank is about sacking thousands, Access already did EVEN WITH THE WAKING UP BY 5AM AND COMING HOME BY 8PM, NOT EATING GOOD FOOD, SLEEPING LIKE A SLAVE, EATING LIKE A SLAVE, STRESSED UP, A 25YRS OLD LOOKING LIKE 40, are all these people going to die off because they were sacked? get something that won't make you a time slave, go solo, look for what you can do that people'll pay you for, depending on your certificates as if you exist for that is dangerous.

You are chatting shyt!

People should abandon Plan A to go and do Plan B?

Are you yourself doing your Plan B?

What consideration did you put to the weighting on practicalities & returns for Plan A and B respectively?

Ujujoan:

A husband doing chores in a house where his wife works is not 'help'! Everybody has h/her responsibility in the home, but when a woman has to work to support the family financially, its obvious that the man cannot just sit back and talk about 'helping' her with the chores.

It's not about being married to a zombie who provides for you and then womanizes. If I have to stay at home while my husband works,then common sense indicates that I keep the house clean and cook the food and do all the other chores. But If I have to work too, then what time will I have to be this super woman  

well for me, it's not a problem in my home cos my husband doesnt think I have to do all the cleaning and cooking and shooping while he folds his legs. But if it were, God knows he'll definitely come home many times to an empty table. I no fit shout!    

PS, my husband nags too oh . . .  especially when I pile my dirty laundry        I recently moved all my properties to one of the spare rooms just to have my peace of mind!      

Uju na u find im trouble na u hv solved it by moving ur properties but no move ur body sha!  

Uju We are all saying the same thing in different ways! Once u are a working wife, its between u and ur husband to work thing out the way it would be easy for the family- i agree.  But i still maintain, different homes with different styles but let there be good result. When u mix issues it becomes a problem.  A wife keeps the home and should see it so, though the husband can come in she should not make it a standard cos she might not be as lucky as u
Queensmith and Tobiegal, listen ooo

@Sagamite

Is that all you could see? i said if plan A is making your life miserable, move to plan B, not everyone is made for 5am-8pm job and i can see the poster as one of them, Not with kids, she's already crying of stress, what happens when she's preggy not to talk of having 1-2 kids?

Why not look for a job or do something that would make your early marriage stress free, give birth to maybe 1-2 kids within 4yrs, then go back to your 5am-9pm job if your life depend on that.

I ask people again, what happens if any of them gets sacked by this slavers? are they going to jump off the cliffs? what i am saying is reality, they are sacking massively already and more to come.

freshcvv:

@those who responded to my comment:

 What happens when you lose that same job, are you going to die? won't there be a PLAN B?

I ask again why do people work when you don't even have the time to enjoy the reward by eating good food and spending quality time on yourself and that of your loved ones?

Aside 5am-8pm jobs, are there no other jobs you can do? i as again, what if you lose that job tomorrow? are you still not going to plan?

EKO bank is about sacking thousands, Access already did EVEN WITH THE WAKING UP BY 5AM AND COMING HOME BY 8PM, NOT EATING GOOD FOOD, SLEEPING LIKE A SLAVE, EATING LIKE A SLAVE, STRESSED UP, A 25YRS OLD LOOKING LIKE 40, are all these people going to die off because they were sacked? get something that won't make you a time slave, go solo, look for what you can do that people'll pay you for, depending on your certificates as if you exist for that is dangerous.

Do you live in some fairytale land where everyone is a non hardworking entrepreneur and the essence of their existence is eating GOOD FOOD?

freshcvv:

@Sagamite

 Is that all you could see? i said if plan A is making your life miserable, move to plan B, not everyone is made for 5am-8pm job and i can see the poster as one of them,  Not with kids, she's already crying of stress, what happens when she's preggy not to talk of having 1-2 kids?

 Why not look for a job or do something that would make your early marriage stress free, give birth to maybe 1-2 kids within 4yrs, then go back to your 5am-9pm job if your life depend on that.

I ask people again, what happens if any of them gets sacked by this slavers? are they going to jump off the cliffs? what i am saying is reality, they are sacking massively already and more to come.

So, in your world, when you have a hiccup/bottleneck/adversity with Plan A, you abandon it and move to Plan B?

Irrespective of the benefits gap in risk & rewards between A and B?

You do not look at ways to address the problem with Plan A?

Wow!

Really?

I am assuming if you approach life like that, in your life now, you are on Plan N since you would have abandoned A to M?

freshcvv:

@those who responded to my comment:

What happens when you lose that same job, are you going to die? won't there be a PLAN B?

I ask again why do people work when you don't even have the time to enjoy the reward by eating good food and spending quality time on yourself and that of your loved ones?

Aside 5am-8pm jobs, are there no other jobs you can do? i as again, what if you lose that job tomorrow? are you still not going to plan?

EKO bank is about sacking thousands, Access already did EVEN WITH THE WAKING UP BY 5AM AND COMING HOME BY 8PM, NOT EATING GOOD FOOD, SLEEPING LIKE A SLAVE, EATING LIKE A SLAVE, STRESSED UP, A 25YRS OLD LOOKING LIKE 40, are all these people going to die off because they were sacked? get something that won't make you a time slave, go solo, look for what you can do that people'll pay you for, depending on your certificates as if you exist for that is dangerous.

This is a whole new topic for discussion!

If you are encouraging entrepreneurship, then open a new thread for that. We are discussing working wives and working husbands here. If you have anything to say, say it. If not, waka pass!

freschcvv, I completely agree with you.
I have over the year gone through different phases. Student and children, full- time um and children. art time work and at some stage house wife. I have come to realise that it is better to take the middle way of doing a part time job or being self employes, so that you can have flexible hours. You might be able to flog yourself for some years but at some stage or the other you might need to slow down your tempo.
And I ask is being a house wife not a career in itself that keeps you occupied 24 hours a day?
What career can be so fulfilling that you drag little tired toddlers or babies out of bend in the very early hours of the morning.
You drop them with a minder or institution, where they don`t even get their bums cleaned properly and most probably the hands are in gloves. Can you compare that with a mother who changes her child with love and affection?
When the little kids are hungry the food gets shoved into the mouth all under time constraints. What career can be more important, than picking your kid from school and wiping his tears when he got beaten by another kid or when he had a bad note. Just as important is it to hear their exciting stories. Do you know how kids love to see their mom at home and smell the warm food and get a hug and al that goes with it. When my kids get home after the meal, we always do something crazy like dancing or singing, today it was a tongue twister competition. This takes about half an hour but after that the kids are in a good mood.
And I ask is it not a career, going through the kids school work and supervising their homework and teaching them.  Then come the various activities they kid have, like football, choir, dancing et. Then the time needed to just maybe go for a work, or just laze around with them.
I really think that any woman that want to reduce the roles of a mother to mere- house wife or stay- at - home mum is certainly a far cry away from being a feminist. There are key function a mother has to lay in a family but today we have delegated these function t various governmental institutions, while we go to work to ay those institutions. Its madness really.
I at some stage did my calculation and realised that I was actually working for no gain.
When you work you send allot more money on your household because you cannot afford to go comparing prices. Sometimes you just do not have the strength to go to various shops. You buy food that is easy to refer, preferably just a shove in the oven meal. While at work, you go out with colleagues etc, that all costs money.
Then you need to pay for child- minding, possibly cleaning and also a private teacher. At the end of the day it is better to work less hours and do mot of those things yourself, rather than paying someone to give you these services.

Sagamite:

So, in your world, when you have a hiccup/bottleneck/adversity with Plan A, you abandon it and move to Plan B?

Irrespective of the benefits gap in risk & rewards between A and B?

You do not look at ways to address the problem with Plan A?

Wow!

Really?

I am assuming if you approach life like that, in your life now, you are on Plan N since you would have abandoned A to M?

Get the picture: she's not with kids, just the 2 of them, they both go to work, come back late, you only gets to prepare food for 2 people (herself and one other person), yet she's crying of stress, now picture it, what happens when she's:

pregnant?
with a kid?
2 kids?
teenagers who need parents around to guide them?

Conclusively, not everyone is meant to do a 5am-8pm job, it will only get you mad and make life miserable for you. she does not sound like someone that can handle just her hubby not to talk of the above mentioned.

Let her get something (a job or a business) that gives her more time to enjoy her life, food, young marriage.

Why live a life of the ancient slavery days when the only time couples (slaves) see each-other is late in the night after stressing all through the day?