The situation goes thus:

Wife does not like wedding ring hubby gave her on wedding day. Although she told husband to change it before getting married husband told wife that is what he could afford. Well wife accepted without complain. Well after some months, wife decided to buy the wedding ring she likes. Now husband wants wife to stop wearing the ring. Wife made it clear to husband that she used her money to buy what she wanted but husband is insisting wife should wear his and not the one she bought. I mean what difference does it make.

They both need to grow up

I blame whoever joined them in holy matrimony

The wife is unwise, imho. Was she expecting the man to steal to buy her another ring? If she had the money to upgrade her own ring, then she should have taken the man along with her when she went shopping for the ring. They are now married and thus, one. She should know better than to go buy herself a ring without her husband's consent! Her actions imply that her man was not "man" enough to buy her a worthy ring so she bought one for herself. I would pretty upset too if I were her husband.

The deed is done and the husband needs to come off his ego trip and just let sleeping dogs lie. He should use this as motivation to work harder and make more paper!

I suspect there might be some serious underlying communication issues between the couple. Otherwise, a ring would not be such a big deal.

chaircover:

Hope that this is not how they mean to go on in the marriage

When she knows that the husband has bad taste in rings, then she should have sed her womanly ower to persuade him to both go shopping for the ring so there are no nasty surprises on the day.

He too should have used style to cajole his wife to accept the ring that he'd bought and given her an estimated date when he would change it for her even if it were 5 years down the line

Its all about communication.

Now Katakata don burst all becasuse of a peice of metal.

I kinda feel for the woman a little bit though. My ex used to laugh at women with tiny rocks or ugly rings. So I am guessing it's a big deal for women. Guys could care less what kind of wedding ring they wear!

chaircover:

Thank God you didnt marry your Ex

I would never buy a small rock for my wife! That would be just embarrassing!

I'm always amazed at the value that women place on the substance as opposed to the symbolism of an engagement/wedding ring.

They need to create a special Nobel prize in marketing and give it to the people that came up with the slogan "diamonds are a girls best friend".

Na wa for the amount of grief the wrong type of ring can cause!

Hmmnn!

IMHO, the hubby is to be blamed.
i would certainly understand why a woman wouldnt want to wear a ring that she CLEARLY finds ugly. the hubby should have simply gone back to the store with wifey (before marriage) and have her choose a ring that she liked (for the same price or cheaper). case closed!

the fact that he knew she didnt like the ring, and yet, did nothing about it is the reason for this whole mess. what did he expect?!

MRbrownJAY:

IMHO, the hubby is to be blamed.
i would certainly understand why a woman wouldnt want to wear a ring that she CLEARLY finds ugly. the hubby should have simply gone back to the store with wifey (before marriage) and have her choose a ring that she liked (for the same price or cheaper). case closed!

the fact that he knew she didnt like the ring, and yet, did nothing about it is the reason for this whole mess. what did he expect?!

I concur! He knew she didn’t like it from the start. She should have told him before buying the new one but to me that’s forgivable because she had expressed to him that she did not like his ring and he did nothing about it. At this point he should either just be quiet and forget about it or pony up the money for the new ring so he can say he bought it for her.

Hmmmmmmmm, i'm a guy and understand how the man feels about it. Even if he has the money, a respectable wife would not go ahead and buy herself a ring without the husband's permission. As for the man, women would always be women. even issues talked about would still be brought up weeks or months later how much more issues not resolved? Both contributed but every wife should submit to her own husband. If there was no proposal at the first place, ring no go be issue especially if she's really aging. She go collect rope tie for the hand if the situation got ugly.

Lesson for men, if you can't cope with a girl with high taste and love for classy things, respect yourself and marry a girl who has a moderate taste as yours and would place more value in upholding the commitment than the symbol used.

For the women it's easy to change a man's stand. Try not to in anyway be confrontational, spite his ego, play the smart ass and be gentle about your request.

jennykadry:

I blame whoever joined them in holy matrimony

LOL.

@topic,
   I think the ring issue is merely a manisfestation of a bigger problem they both have. They are both wrong and neither is willing to compromise/sacrifice - that spells trouble.

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moremi2008:

I kinda feel for the woman a little bit though. My ex used to laugh at women with tiny rocks or ugly rings. So I am guessing it's a big deal for women. Guys could care less what kind of wedding ring they wear!

Not all women. If my husband gave me a plastic ring I would still love & treasure it because it came from him. When he told me how much he spent I even told him it was too much self. I'm frequently appalled at the amount of money and importance people have put into something as inconsequential as 'the' ring. To me that money can be better used in so many other ways. A woman who laughs at what other women are wearing . . . that is so shallow & narrowminded its scary, and I'm glad she's your ex.

SHE SHOULD WEAR THE RING HER HUSBAND GAVE HER, NO MORE TALK. why didn't she join money with her husbands' in the first place to buy tghe ring she really wanted she should wear the ring her hubby gave her like that, whether she likes it or not.

ROTLMAO Na wa. She went and bought her own ring. Is she marrying herself? For those of us judging her it is easy to do so when you can flash your own with pride They both need some serious sit down time. She should wear the ring her gave her but he needs to not be a jerk about it

in a perfect world, guy would take style find out what his gal likes. take style shop around and see where her eyes are and get that for her.
if you can't afford it, communicatn should solve the problem.


lol, going to buy her own

agiboma:

They both need to grow up

This answer is so appropriate

JeSoul:

LOL.

@topic,
   I think the ring issue is merely a manisfestation of a bigger problem they both have. They are both wrong and neither is willing to compromise/sacrifice - that spells trouble.

---

Not all women. If my husband gave me a plastic ring I would still love & treasure it because it came from him. When he told me how much he spent I even told him it was too much self. I'm frequently appalled at the amount of money and importance people have put into something as inconsequential as 'the' ring. To me that money can be better used in so many other ways. A woman who laughs at what other women are wearing . . . that is so shallow & narrowminded its scary, and I'm glad she's your ex.

Perhaps we need a little bit more context to truly understand this situation. Some women are in really intense social situations where the wrong decision about something as symbolic as a ring can have devastating social consequences. I'll be fair to my ex by saying she had a pretty fancy group of friends and I knew exactly what the ring expectations were with that group. Our relationship did not advance to the level of seriously shopping for engagement rings but I knew I would have had to cough up the dough if the time came. Unless this guy is as sensitive as a rock, he should have known (or at least asked for) his wife's taste in rings before buying one. Rings are just too important and symbolic for that kind of fck up! Nobody should be ok with an unhappy bride!

Saw the wedding ring that caused the palava. It is a plain gold wedding band with no stone. It is the same as the husband and the wife's name is engraved in it. Crazy lady wore it as a pendant with her chain.

Wife did not like the fact that there was no wow moment whenever anyone who heard she was married see it. She decided to buy herself a white gold diamond

ring which actually brought the wow factor ( that is how I got to know about the gist ) Well everyone had complimented her on the ring and how lovely it looks.

Now to return it and wear the plain gold wedding ring is a big deal cause it will raise eyebrows. I guess her friends are the reason behind the change although

she said she told them her husband got it for her. I have had the opportunity to be in the company of the husband a few times and he seems like a quiet, nice and

down to earth person. For the guy to insist I think there is more to the issue cause he does not seem like someone who forces his way on things.

lao:

Saw the wedding ring that caused the palava. It is a plain gold wedding band with no stone. It is the same as the husband and the wife's name is engraved in it. Crazy lady wore it as a pendant with her chain.

Wife did not like the fact that there was no wow moment whenever anyone who heard she was married see it. She decided to buy herself a white gold diamond

ring which actually brought the wow factor ( that is how I got to know about the gist ) Well everyone had complimented her on the ring and how lovely it looks.

Now to return it and wear the plain gold wedding ring is a big deal cause it will raise eyebrows. I guess her friends are the reason behind the change although

she said she told them her husband got it for her. I have had the opportunity to be in the company of the husband a few times and he seems like a quiet, nice and

down to earth person. For the guy to insist I think there is more to the issue cause he does not seem like someone who forces his way on things.

Please, just tell this lady that she has fcked up big time and needs to humbly go and beg her husband. In fact, if she wants to completely kill this issue and not have it continue to crop up in the future, she should ask her husband to consider the money she spent on the ring as a loan that he has to repay in the future when he is more "buoyant". That way, the man will feel like he ultimately paid for the ring and not his wife. Humility will go a long way in this situation because truth be told, the lady fcked up in the wisdom department.

moremi2008:

Please, just tell this lady that she has fcked up big time and needs to humbly go and beg her husband. In fact, if she wants to completely kill this issue and not have it continue to crop up in the future, she should ask her husband to consider the money she spent on the ring as a loan that he has to repay in the future when he is more "buoyant". That way, the man will feel like he ultimately paid for the ring and not his wife. Humility will go a long way in this situation because truth be told, the lady fcked up in the wisdom department.

They both fcked in the wisdom department, they both need to talk as adults and come to a fair consenses on this petty issue, omg what if a real problem comes into the marriage, what are they gonna do then.

lao:

Wife did not like the fact that there was no wow moment whenever anyone who heard she was married see it. She decided to buy herself a white gold diamond

ring which actually brought the wow factor ( that is how I got to know about the gist ) Well everyone had complimented her on the ring and how lovely it looks.

I've gone from amazement to sympathy. So the wow factor outside the home is more important than peace inside the home.

I'm completely with the man on this one. Having said that, perhaps he should have married a woman as down to earth as he is who doesn't really care about peer pressure/keeping up with the Jones's.

agiboma:

They both fcked in the wisdom department, they both need to talk as adults and come to a fair consenses on this petty issue, omg what if a real problem comes into the marriage, what are they gonna do then.

True. It always takes two to fight and tango.

Since it was just the wedding band though why did she not just buy herself the engagement ring and wear them both. He even engraved their names on it. I guess they are getting a crash course in communication in a marriage

moremi2008:

Perhaps we need a little bit more context to truly understand this situation. Some women are in really intense social situations where the wrong decision about something as symbolic as a ring can have devastating social consequences. I'll be fair to my ex by saying she had a pretty fancy group of friends and I knew exactly what the ring expectations were with that group. Our relationship did not advance to the level of seriously shopping for engagement rings but I knew I would have had to cough up the dough if the time came. Unless this guy is as sensitive as a rock, he should have known (or at least asked for) his wife's taste in rings before buying one. Rings are just too important and symbolic for that kind of fck up! Nobody should be ok with an unhappy bride!

I understand this completely and know exactly what its like to face that 'pressure' . . . and my response to her would be you're no longer in high school where you would be easily swayed by the childish materialistic whims of your 'girlfriends'. Now is the time to start learning to put your spouse's joy and happiness ahead of yours. Honor your spouse above all others. The same people that will oohh and aaahhh in front of you will be talking behind you no matter what. Women need to stop equating the size of the ring to the love of the man because it has no correlation whatsoever. Some men can afford it but choose not to spend so much money on just one item. Each couple should figure out what works for them and not bend to friends/society's pressures. In this way the guy was wrong for not at least trying to address his wife's displeasure with the ring. Both of them are to blame.

And trust me, it will not stop at just the rings. Next these 'friends' will be talking about the price and designer of the wedding dress, the wedding venue, the honeymoon location and then the kind of car he bought for you, the house you're living in, the clothes & jewelry you're wearing etc etc . . .

The woman did not necessarily need a new ring - she needs a new attitude and a new set of 'friends'.

What does it Matter with this wedding ring of a thing?