cap28:



Nigerians stop feeling inferior to whites - they have no respect for you and just use you to get what they want, the whites in nigeria are only there because they are living a lifestyle they could only dream about in the UK. I work with these people and they have nothing good to say about africa and africans.

amy:

Hi

I am a White British 27year old currently living in the uk. My partner is Nigerian born and has the majority of his family living in Nigeria. We have been discussing a possible move to Nigeria in the near future so as he can help his father with his business. We have 3 children the eldest being 11 this year and the youngest 4. I would like to point out that my questions are by no means intended to sound either derogoratory or ignorant. We are both decided that the Uk is not country that We wish to bring up two impressionable young boys and a beautiful and intelligent young girl. The trend in the Uk seems to be for girls to become pregnant at a very young age (i was one of them) and I fear for my eldest child going to high school amidst a high knife and violent crime rate amongst his age group. The British government is breeding a contemptible generation of youth and a society of lazy citizens living off the welfare system. We want out, however I do I have my reservations in regards to moving my young family to Nigeria. The country doesn't get the best media coverage in the Uk. Although I trust my partners opinions I feel them understandably biased towards his family and homeland. So I'm looking for honest opinions please .

I have many questions so for clarity I shall list them.

1- my partner has mentioned the possibility of living in 3 areas either Aba in abia state, the ebonyi state in general or Abuja. Are these safe areas for families? I am concerned as his father was only recently returned safely after being kidnapped for ransom.  Can I raise my family in either of these areas without fear if we are responsible and invest in good security ?

2- we enjoy quite a social life in the Uk, more so for my children, in your opinion could they enjoy the same in these locations. And will children of mixed race be accepted and make friends easily. (my children do suffer from racism from time to time in the uk and I would like somewhere they can be accepted freely and just be themselves)

3- I own my own business in the Uk, I have a uk law degree. Financial independence is extremely important to me, I like to make my own money almost as much as I like to spend it . Will I as a white British woman find it as easy to work in nigeria ?

4- I worry about schooling, my children may choose to return to the uk or stay in Nigeria either way it is important to me that they have good schooling, if possible at a British school, does nylon have more information about schooling for my age children ?

I jokingly told my partner that I would only live in Nigeria if I had high speed Internet access as I'm an avid online gamer lol. Joking aside I worry about the culture clash, are there many British people living successfully and happily in Nigeria, love to hear from them if so.

I thank you for reading my long post and appreciate all responses

Amy x


Thankyou for all of the replies.

I don't think I made my self very clear. I do not intend to move because I think the UK is not a suitable place to bring my children up (although I don't think it is at the moment) if that were the case I would be choosing elsewhere. I mentioned my misgivings about the UK because in a post on another forum ,y questions were deemed ignorant and a few confused my fears and questions as me trying to slate Nigeria. I was pointing out that I'm not trying to slate the country when I ask these questions, I think very little of my own so have no judgements to make.

Secondly - the reason for the move as i mentioned ever so slightly in my question is because my partners father runs a few businesses (in the areas i mentioned which is why they are my choice) his father grows old and as the only son the responsibility falls on his head to go and help.

Thirdly - I have visited, my children haven't and I only as a tourist so i realise this would be quite different. I intend to take the children beforehand however I am researching as I realise this is a big decision and one that will be made overnight.

Finally - Franktolk , yes I was 16 when I had my eldest son, I was 17 when I had my second and 23 and in my final year of university when I had my third.  However I am now a law graduate running my own business. One of the greatest things about the UK is that no matter what circumstances you either put yourself in or are put in if you have the determination to make something of yourself you have endless opportunities to do so. The shame is that few take those opportunities or do and squander them.

If I had the option I would be moving to a village in the UK and raising my children, but my partner has an obligation to his family and I to him. My children come first and If it means the family separating so be it, but I would not enter into any decision either way that may lead to the undoing of our relationship lightly.

And so I asked your advice.

Thankyou all

Amy

chaircover:

Hi Amy.

From one mother speaking to another, please please please do NOT uproot those kids until you are 100% sure of what you are doing.

you dont mention anything about having visited on holidays. If you havent been going on family holidays to Nigeria it may be a good idea to let those kids have a feel for the country in small doses before totally upping and leaving.

If I am to be honest with you, I dont feel that some of the reasons that you have given for wanting to uproot 3 kids from what they are used to are convincing enough and I think that you have a false impression of the positive results that you will acheive as a result of the move

Charity begins at home and changing country will not stop a wayward child from being wayward. There are teenage pregnancies in Nigeria and you will just trade one set of problems for another set.

Without trying to dissuade you from following your families plans, I suggest that you look again at the reasons that you want to leave the UK and see if there are other not so drastic options that you can take to acheive the same positive results. For example have you considered moving out of the city and to a much smaller & less populated rural area and probably reducing your working hours so that you can be there for the kids not just physically but pastorally as well and so on.

BTW, Like you I live in the UK and I have a teenager on my hands so I totally understand your fears but I want you to remember that there are many many kids here in the UK who turned out right. I personally wont uproot my kids like that.

Henry40:

Amy, my advice - DON'T COME TO NIGERIA, YET! Why?


-  Electricity: Unlike in the UK where you pay for what you use, and if you'd like to pay less then use less, here in Nigeria YOU PAY, but you hardly ever use! On this point, I'd advice you go to Abuja. There's more value for electricity there and you don't need to pay for it twice { via fuel for generators and actual electricity bills} since electricity is really cheap there. The roads are better and life is comparatively less stressful.
-  Standard of Life: Although cost of living in Nigeria is comparatively low, standard of life is even lower. I suggest you know the sort of "business" your father-in-law is doing first, then think up ways of bringing it up to the standard that would afford you the standard of living you're used to {or want}, if it isn't already. Come to Nigeria only when you've been successful in preparing a befitting standard of living when you arrive, and not before. At the end of the day, everything about living in Nigeria boils down to that - standard of life. Since you've been called to the bar in the UK, you wouldn't find it difficult to secure a high standard of living, especially in Abuja. First, you're a graduate, second, a professional, third UK trained, and lastly, and most importantly, WHITE!
-  Honesty: You should be aware {regardless of how patriotic I would even care to admit} that Nigerians are generally dishonest. Keep that at the back of your mind in everything you do whenever you come around, or else you'd become a victim so many times that you might get frustrated back. There's a saying in Nigeria - Shine your eyes!
-  In laws: Know who your in-laws really are. Some of them are green snakes in the grass.
-  Security: In Nigeria, your security is in your own hands, and not an outsider's. This is a place "standard of life" {above} becomes important. If you have a high standard of life, then you'd probably be in a position to afford yourself security.

These are all I have for you, for now!

iKoksi:

If your Partner is well to do, i.e. has enuf MONEY, then you're about to make d best decision.

BUT plz let your kids complete them Uni in Uk, u'll have a beta quality to cost ratio.
I did my Uni in uk but now work in Nigeria, live @ Abuja, have absolutely 0 regrets!

Kidnapping's not an issue as neither u nor ur partner'll be interested in politics.

Welcome to NIGERIA!

amy:

Hi

I am a White British 27year old currently living in the uk. My partner is Nigerian born and has the majority of his family living in Nigeria. We have been discussing a possible move to Nigeria in the near future so as he can help his father with his business. We have 3 children the eldest being 11 this year and the youngest 4. I would like to point out that my questions are by no means intended to sound either derogoratory or ignorant. We are both decided that the Uk is not country that We wish to bring up two impressionable young boys and a beautiful and intelligent young girl. The trend in the Uk seems to be for girls to become pregnant at a very young age (i was one of them) and I fear for my eldest child going to high school amidst a high knife and violent crime rate amongst his age group. The British government is breeding a contemptible generation of youth and a society of lazy citizens living off the welfare system. We want out, however I do I have my reservations in regards to moving my young family to Nigeria. The country doesn't get the best media coverage in the Uk. Although I trust my partners opinions I feel them understandably biased towards his family and homeland. So I'm looking for honest opinions please .

I have many questions so for clarity I shall list them.

1- my partner has mentioned the possibility of living in 3 areas either Aba in abia state, the ebonyi state in general or Abuja. Are these safe areas for families? I am concerned as his father was only recently returned safely after being kidnapped for ransom.  Can I raise my family in either of these areas without fear if we are responsible and invest in good security ?

2- we enjoy quite a social life in the Uk, more so for my children, in your opinion could they enjoy the same in these locations. And will children of mixed race be accepted and make friends easily. (my children do suffer from racism from time to time in the uk and I would like somewhere they can be accepted freely and just be themselves)

3- I own my own business in the Uk, I have a uk law degree. Financial independence is extremely important to me, I like to make my own money almost as much as I like to spend it . Will I as a white British woman find it as easy to work in nigeria ?

4- I worry about schooling, my children may choose to return to the uk or stay in Nigeria either way it is important to me that they have good schooling, if possible at a British school, does nylon have more information about schooling for my age children ?

I jokingly told my partner that I would only live in Nigeria if I had high speed Internet access as I'm an avid online gamer lol. Joking aside I worry about the culture clash, are there many British people living successfully and happily in Nigeria, love to hear from them if so.

I thank you for reading my long post and appreciate all responses

Amy x


Thankyou for all of the replies.

I don't think I made my self very clear. I do not intend to move because I think the UK is not a suitable place to bring my children up (although I don't think it is at the moment) if that were the case I would be choosing elsewhere. I mentioned my misgivings about the UK because in a post on another forum ,y questions were deemed ignorant and a few confused my fears and questions as me trying to slate Nigeria. I was pointing out that I'm not trying to slate the country when I ask these questions, I think very little of my own so have no judgements to make.

Secondly - the reason for the move as i mentioned ever so slightly in my question is because my partners father runs a few businesses (in the areas i mentioned which is why they are my choice) his father grows old and as the only son the responsibility falls on his head to go and help.

Thirdly - I have visited, my children haven't and I only as a tourist so i realise this would be quite different. I intend to take the children beforehand however I am researching as I realise this is a big decision and one that will be made overnight.

Finally - Franktolk , yes I was 16 when I had my eldest son, I was 17 when I had my second and 23 and in my final year of university when I had my third.  However I am now a law graduate running my own business. One of the greatest things about the UK is that no matter what circumstances you either put yourself in or are put in if you have the determination to make something of yourself you have endless opportunities to do so. The shame is that few take those opportunities or do and squander them.

If I had the option I would be moving to a village in the UK and raising my children, but my partner has an obligation to his family and I to him. My children come first and If it means the family separating so be it, but I would not enter into any decision either way that may lead to the undoing of our relationship lightly.

And so I asked your advice.

Thankyou all

Amy

amy:

Thankyou for all of the replies.

I don't think I made my self very clear. I do not intend to move because I think the UK is not a suitable place to bring my children up (although I don't think it is at the moment) if that were the case I would be choosing elsewhere. I mentioned my misgivings about the UK because in a post on another forum ,y questions were deemed ignorant and a few confused my fears and questions as me trying to slate Nigeria. I was pointing out that I'm not trying to slate the country when I ask these questions, I think very little of my own so have no judgements to make.

Secondly - the reason for the move as i mentioned ever so slightly in my question is because my partners father runs a few businesses (in the areas i mentioned which is why they are my choice) his father grows old and as the only son the responsibility falls on his head to go and help.

Thirdly - I have visited, my children haven't and I only as a tourist so i realise this would be quite different. I intend to take the children beforehand however I am researching as I realise this is a big decision and one that will be made overnight.

Finally - Franktolk , yes I was 16 when I had my eldest son, I was 17 when I had my second and 23 and in my final year of university when I had my third.  However I am now a law graduate running my own business. One of the greatest things about the UK is that no matter what circumstances you either put yourself in or are put in if you have the determination to make something of yourself you have endless opportunities to do so. The shame is that few take those opportunities or do and squander them.

If I had the option I would be moving to a village in the UK and raising my children, but my partner has an obligation to his family and I to him. My children come first and If it means the family separating so be it, but I would not enter into any decision either way that may lead to the undoing of our relationship lightly.

I'm very glad that I asked, its all very helpful

Thankyou all

Amy

jennykadry:

nice points you raised up there, where are you located if you dont mind me asking?

franktolk:

Amy ! if you're 27 years old now and ur eldest child is 11,it then implies that you had ur first child at the age of 16 !

cap28:

why are we so desperate to be of assistance to our enemies?

If this poster is in fact a white british woman (which i doubt)  - why should we care about her welfare?

lets put the shoe on the other foot - how many white british people would be willing to give a nigerian family advice on how to relocate and get started in britain?

how do white british people view nigerians in the work place?  how supportive are they towards nigerians who are new to their country?

if you are on the same page as me i'm sure that you would have come to the same conclusion as me that the answer is none.

if i were given a penny for the number of white british people who have asked me why i am in their country, when am i going back i woudl be a millionaire and yet, and yet we have some dumb nigerians on here giving this white british woman advice on how she can get a good job, upgrade herself and her lifestyle and have access to a standard of living that many nigerians in nigeria itself do not even have - they say charity begins at home - i noticed that some self hating nigerians even had the audacity to brag that nigerians treat foreigners better than their own people - shame on you.  How many white people do you know that treat foreigners better than their own people?  This same woman who is begging for advice on here would never put you before her own people if you came to britain looking for a better life.

If you have never worked with white british people please do not respond to my post, i have worked with them and i know how much they despise black people.  They smile in your face but will stop at nothing to make your life a living hell.

Nigerians stop feeling inferior to whites - they have no respect for you and just use you to get what they want, the whites in nigeria are only there because they are living a lifestyle they could only dream about in the UK.  I work with these people and they have nothing good to say about africa and africans.

Forget about all the bullshi.t and lies many delusional fools tell you on here.

cap28:

why are we so desperate to be of assistance to our enemies?

If this poster is in fact a white british woman (which i doubt) - why should we care about her welfare?

lets put the shoe on the other foot - how many white british people would be willing to give a nigerian family advice on how to relocate and get started in britain?

how do white british people view nigerians in the work place? how supportive are they towards nigerians who are new to their country?

if you are on the same page as me i'm sure that you would have come to the same conclusion as me that the answer is none.

if i were given a penny for the number of white british people who have asked me why i am in their country, when am i going back i woudl be a millionaire and yet, and yet we have some dumb nigerians on here giving this white british woman advice on how she can get a good job, upgrade herself and her lifestyle and have access to a standard of living that many nigerians in nigeria itself do not even have - they say charity begins at home - i noticed that some self hating nigerians even had the audacity to brag that nigerians treat foreigners better than their own people - shame on you. How many white people do you know that treat foreigners better than their own people? This same woman who is begging for advice on here would never put you before her own people if you came to britain looking for a better life.

If you have never worked with white british people please do not respond to my post, i have worked with them and i know how much they despise black people. They smile in your face but will stop at nothing to make your life a living hell.

Nigerians stop feeling inferior to whites - they have no respect for you and just use you to get what they want, the whites in nigeria are only there because they are living a lifestyle they could only dream about in the UK. I work with these people and they have nothing good to say about africa and africans.

Forget about all the bullshi.t and lies many delusional fools tell you on here.

Sky-walker:

Are you for real? How does helping people now feel inferior? because she is white, we must not assist her? What kind of racist talk are you talking? I currently work in a company where i am the only African and i have never been disrespected. As long as i dont cross my boundaries and follow my job description, i am fine. Most people i know who have have been disrespected are people who do menial jobs but you cant blame someone who is ignorant.

Sky-walker:

Are you for real? How does helping people now feel inferior? because she is white, we must not assist her? What kind of racist talk are you talking? I currently work in a company where i am the only African and i have never been disrespected. As long as i dont cross my boundaries and follow my job description, i am fine. Most people i know who have have been disrespected are people who do menial jobs but you cant blame someone who is ignorant.

cap28:

If the shoe were on the other foot they would never help you because they dont want you in their country let alone competing for jobs with them.

English people are very good at SMILING IN YOUR FACE BUT TEARING YOU APART AS SOON AS YOUR BACK IS TURNED, I HAVE LIVED, STUDIED AND WORKED WITH THEM FOR MOST OF MY LIFE AND I KNOW THAT THEY MERELY TOLERATE FOREIGNERS ESPECIALLY BLACK FOREIGNERS. 

Many nigerians like you are brainwashed, have low self esteem and feel inferior to whites thats why you cant tell when  you are being spoken to rudely, english people feel superior to africans, but they mask their contempt with a technique known as  sarcasm and fake smiles which many nigerians who didnt grow up around english people do not understand, many nigerians who arrive in the UK as adults from nigeria  act like inferior fools around white people and cant tell when they are being made fun of - you sound like you must be one of them.  I would like to know what position you occupy in that company, does the job you do involve exchanging ideas and opinions? do you have any english subordinates workign under you?  how do they relate to you? do they take orders from you? what do they think of your opinions?  many nigerians like  yourself are delusional and actually think whites respect you - ive got news for you - they dont, why shoudl they when they can hire and fire you at the drop of a hat? you have no power or control over them but they have total control and power over your livelihood as they control access to jobs and income- I have no reason to feel inferior to anyone as i am well educated and have a good job working within a profession where elitism and racism is a fact of life, many nigerians do not work or relate to white people on an equal basis because many of them are working in the service sector in low paid jobs or bottom rung govt jobs where their views and opinions are never sought - i think this is where you are coming from

coogar:

cap28 is an office cleaner who is lazy and gets disrespected.
i have been working in england for eons and i have never been disrespected by anyone on this isle. the squabbles i have had here with colleagues are the same as what i would have had if i was working in nigeria.

i dish instructions out to white brits and they follow it through. like you said, i don't cross my boundaries and my boundaries cannot be crossed just by anyone.
it just goes to show how pathetic cap28 reasons in this day and age. if he hates the white folks this much, i wonder what he's still doing in britain.
why can't he f@ck off back to his village where he won't be discriminated against? i just think it's idiotic to blame one's failure in life by waving the race card.

cap28:

Compare the way i express myself to the way you express yourself and let a third party judge who is the office cleaner between the two of us.

The idea that a functional illiterate like yourself would ever be allowed to work in an environment that required the use of a single braincell is beyond ludicrous.

Your poor grammar, gutter language and references are a dead giveaway as to the kind of job you do here in england and i can bet my life on it that the only time you come across white people is when you get on to the night bus in order to make your way to your nightshift job in central london .

Failure is not in my dictionary as i have two degrees and I am about to embark on a masters degree, oh did i mention that i work within a profession that you could only dream about being in?  

The fact that i am aware of my immediate environment does not make me a failure - it makes me conscious as oppposed to being braindead and unconscious like you - so stick to mingling with your fellow nightshift workers whose only contact with white people is when they step on and off night buses and trains on their way to their minimum wage jobs cleaning up after whitey.

Sky-walker:

i am the only IT officer where i work. The only IT guy.You heard. I went through interviews with lot of Citizens here but i was the one they chose,  I attend Technical meetings and my opinion matters a lot where i work.i draft out proposal and it gets approved. I am currently drafting another one now for another project. I work with Educated people, not benefit scroungers or low life people. I fix things here and people appreciate it.  i dont blame you From the questions you have asked and responses here, i am 90% sure you worked with uneducated people.People who think you are stealing thier job( Unskilled labor) or trying to get thier benefits. I am not delusional. Like i said where you work and stay matters a lot and who you relate with. Speaking of rudely, that can never happen in an official place in UK. It must all be in your head feeling inferior. Most people who dislike foreigners are unskilled guys. Have you not heard of coming in UK recruiting people from India? if everyone was racist,would they bring them in?

cap28:

IT is a job that anyone with the ability to move one foot in front of the other can do - its not that difficult  and you probably got the job because being black you are cheaper to hire - that is a fact. Even in my profession blacks and asians are paid less than their white counterparts - you can continue to deceive yourself that you are somehow indispensable to them or that they have done you a big favour - they havent.

The majority of IT jobs have actually been outsourced to India where technicians will work for half your salary so you better watch your back because you might soon find yourself in the dole queue.

You dont have to be uneducated to be racist - educated people are just better at masking their racism - i attended a university here where all the middle class white kids who were privately educated kept themselves to themselves and never hung out with anyone who wasnt like them - many educated whites do not socialise with blacks - you do not understand anything about english people or their culture thats why you are on the defensive, once you understand them you will stop getting so worked up about what i am saying. This country is very race and class conscious, the majority of whites who tend to socialise with blacks are from working class backgrounds

coogar:


with the eroded mentality you carry about yourself that all white people are after your life, who would want to be mates with a twit like yourself.
you need more education. the $64,000 question is - what are you still doing in britain if you hate them this much? f@ck back to your country and complete your masters degree there instead of polluting the web-space with your psycho-neurotic rants.

jay bee:

Don't know why the dude is stylishly dodging the question

cap28:

IT is a job that anyone with the ability to move one foot in front of the other can do - its not that difficult  and you probably got the job because being black you are cheaper to hire - that is a fact. Even in my profession blacks and asians are paid less than their white counterparts - you can continue to deceive yourself that you are somehow indispensable to them or that they have done you a big favour - they havent.

The majority of IT jobs have actually been outsourced to India where technicians will work for half your salary so you better watch your back because you might soon find yourself in the dole queue.

You dont have to be uneducated to be racist - educated people are just better at masking their racism - i attended a university here where all the middle class white kids who were privately educated kept themselves to themselves and never hung out with anyone who wasnt like them - many educated whites do not socialise with blacks - you do not understand anything about english people or their culture thats why you are on the defensive, once you understand them you will stop getting so worked up about what i am saying. This country is very race and class conscious, the majority of whites who tend to socialise with blacks are from working class backgrounds

coogar:

jaybee, you work in britain. . . . . .have you ever been discriminated against before?

i am sure i have gotten more abuses in nigeria from my own people than anything i have seen here in britain.

cap28:

IT is such a bog standard job  - one of the guys in our IT department is only 19 and he's so brilliant at what he does  but he understands that its just a job, just like any other - lets face it - its not neurosurgery is it?

cap28:

isnt it funny how every single nigerian on this forum has "a very good job" - the amazing thing is i never come across any nigerian faces whenever i go into offices in central london (unless you want to include the doormen or the people on reception)

NL - THE PLACE WHERE  YOU CAN MAKE ALL YOUR FANTASIES COME TRUE.