Other mamas with d book, pls send to others. Thanks

chinma414:
there is something about your need dat doesn't feel right.I'm sorry to sound paranoid bt my aunt once got involved in helping someone in your situation and d woman abandoned d baby till dis day.if you can afford to hire a nanny and handle d expenses then I think you should be able to find a place no matter how small and manage yourself and the baby till you find a better option. Remain Blessed.

I undstnd wr u re goin n ur fears, bt if I wil eva hv d mind 2 abandon ds baby, I wudnt hv carried it at d 1st place. I ws gvn an option of abortion frm onset, bt I refused, n dat has bn d source of my pain til 2day. bt I bliv my joy is almst near.
I mentioned abt caterin 4 d expenses Cos dats d idea my madam gave me. bt she didn't tok abt rentin a house 4 me. I dnt hv any money of my own, Cos I jst graduated n finished service since last year n hvnt gtn a job yet or any oda means of income 4 nw. hv bn survivin tru ds woman dat took me in.
thanks 4 ur concern n response.

Kimoni:


The bolded captured my exact thoughts.

@stadora: And I am sorry to say this as well, the first problem I have is the way you coded what you really wanted. Why would it take several other mothers to explain what you really wanted? I will have serious issues recommending help to someone who cannot be open about the true state of things. People have come to this thread to say much more about themselves and they are not judged for it. Pls be more open, you might even get help on issues you didn't request help for. He that is down needs fear no fall.

Then again, I am also left wondering why you have no issues paying the nanny for her services even with you staying with her but finding it difficult to get a place to stay howbeit small. I initially thought it was a financial issue but this part got me totally confused.

I don't really know what to think any more. And pls don't let my post rub you off in an bad way. Not intended.

Sory, I only explained d best way I can, am nt good wt words n expresin myself. dats y tins gt 2 ds stage b4 i had 2 come up 2 d house. that has bn my weekness. thanks 2 d mamas dat undstood n wr able 2 explain tins.
I ve explained d issue of payin d nanny above, hope u undstnd.
thanks 4 ur response n concern.

joilin:
@stadora
Your stories are begining to sound strange and unreal to me. u sound like u are financially ok by saying all expences ll be taking care of and you also sound like u dont have money and needed a teaching job.
Is it actually real that somebody on this earth dosnt have a relation? Like a friend, family member, church mmber, nerbors. No offence meant o pls just expressing my feelings
Teamoctober

I hv frnds n family, bt can't relate ds issue wt dem 2 avoid insults n misjudgment

Apple19:
To all the blessed and God-endowed mamas, I have to comend you. You're more than e-family but e-God sent Angels.

I've been following @Stadora's request since yesterday, (only that my vomiting no gree me type well) showed hubby and the first question he asked is WHY NOW? and WHERE IS SHE STAYING BEFORE NOW?? But then, I have to appreciate the fact that she's a God fearing woman for not aborting this child. And the only thing coming to my mind now is that: NOT THAT WE CANNOT HELP,NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE, BUT MAMA; PLS FIX THE FOUNDATION FIRST.! Cos you're almost due, and somethings must have been going on before now, DON'T RUN FROM YOUR PROBLEMS MA, PLS FIX IT. Your request is making me scared like you'll abandon this baby eventually and RUN! We're NIGERIANS KWA, WE KNOW HOW IT WORKS! like the other mamas has said; COME OUT AND ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS, LET'S KNOW THE TRUTH, THE GENUITY OF YOUR REQUEST WILL GUIDE US INTO HOW TO APPROACH THE SITUATION.

Pls no offence meant abeg, just my 2cents

Thanks 4 ur concern

Stadora
How long will u hide d child? Note that u can't hide a child for long. And ur people will b more heart broken finding out u have a grown child.

They will only insult or criticize u for a short while and that will b it. Ur family is ur best bet dear... Consider it...

Stadora dear, I understand where you're coming from. But support from family is very important at this point in time.
If this lady can follow you to your parents place and help explain things to them, that way you won't have to face the alone cos You can't continue to hide forever.
What happens when you give birth?
How long can you hide the fact that you have a child?
It's better to deal with it now and if you decided to let your pple know pray about it fervently and as God for positive and warm reception from them. There's nothing God cannot do. You'll be surprised.
We would do as much as we can to help.

tatacherie:
When she first introduced herself to dis lovely family she said she's an expectant single mom to b.if y'al remember she asked for suggestions if its safe to use girdle on her preggie to attend a friends wedding as she didn't want any1 to know about it.she def will have family,relatives,friends etc.I commend her for keeping this precious gift so many are praying to have.but I think at this point in time she needs her family support although I dunno if she's willing or its not possible

As 4 my family, my mother is no more n my father remaried, n was carried away by hs new wife. then I stayed wt my uncle wo Managed 2 c me tru d uni, bt since ds incidence, he showed no concern. his action n atitude ws d main reason I decided 2 kip ds preg 2 myself n left home. dnt want 2 tok 2 any of my relation again.

Stadora, are your parents still alive?
If yes, then they are your best bet. Go to them with humility and repentance. You are not too young to have child at least you are a graduate.
Bear in mind that whatever humiliation and admonishings you will receive is till you get back in shape and get a job.
Your mother's relative nko? Grandparents and sisters or female cousins are usually more sympathetic.


2nd option: do you know the family of the man who impregnated you? Then pack and go to his house at least till you get back on your feet.

This journey you have embarked on will not be easy, even married ones dont find it easy. You will need help from a lot of ppl.

You think pregnancy has barred you from a lot, wait till a living and breathing child arrives, then you will realise how many opportunities you have to forsake for the sake of this innocent, beautiful and totally dependent child.

Toughen up......be prepared to face humiliations and judgement. If you are ashamed of facing your own people then how will you protect your child from their swift tongue and judgy eyes.

No matter how bad it is, one day you will have to tell them. You cant hide it forever. Why not now rather than later.
Make up your mind quickly, time is not on your side.

stadora:

As 4 my family, my mother is no more n my father remaried, n was carried away by hs new wife. then I stayed wt my uncle wo Managed 2 c me tru d uni, bt since ds incidence, he showed no concern. his action n atitude ws d main reason I decided 2 kip ds preg 2 myself n left home. dnt want 2 tok 2 any of my relation again.

hello, not trying to condemn you o, but you as a graduate should have look for teaching job in a less expensive state where you would have been able to get yourself an accommodation now and also have some cash. Anyway pls after giving birth, put urself together and look for job, so as to sustain yourself. May God see you through.

stadora it is well with you.pls able mamas help us with ideas.

[quote author=beedam post=37448012]@ proudmum11....welcome to the thread! wishing you a stressfree 9 months. Thanks Snr Beedam

Beryl15:

Where exactly in Abj are you at?
Like other mamas have said you need to answer these questions so we can help you better.

Am stayin wt my madam in kado estate, close 2 Life camp.

divinemandate:
pls can I take food made of scent leaves, uziza and utazi as in pepper soup stuff.
when should I register for antenatal and also start taking prenatal drug , saw my last period on 16th july.
which of d prenatal drug is good, hv heard a lot abt pregnacare plus nd d likes

I eat black soup once in a while though n it comprises of d leaves u mentioned.
U can register after ur 2nd missed period or u can decide to register ASAP.start taking ur prenatal vitamins immediately too.I take folic acid,n fersolate n vit c.pls go n register.

if you can afford a selfcon in owerri,it would be cheaper for you and depending on how close it is to me,I can come and help you when you need it.without pay.if you agree,we can start searching for d apartment.Although d best thing to do is to get any family member or close friend involved in case of emergency. this is d time you need them most because this journey isn't an easy one.I wish you were financially independent because I don't think your madam will fulfill her promise for long.

@ stadora in as much as u need support financial,physical,n otherwise I think u still need to clear every mess now.Everyone is responsible for their actions.don't dodge d consequences face it and come out refined and stronger.u did d right tin by keeping ur baby.fight for him till d very end so dat issues won't arise wen his grown.The Lord will see u tru.like Zaynie said if u know ur baby fathers family locate them n see how it goes.I believe dey will look into ur case however if dey don't go back home cos d time is very short now.it would have been easier if u had started planing this from d beginning of d preg.if u tink u can cope alone den renting a mini apartment will b better even if its one room u will grow from there
Other mamas pls help

@stadora honestly I wanted to jump nd pass ur issue since am just new here, but seriously I cldnt hold it. pls my dear d mistake hv been made , ds ur option is like embarking in another greater mistake.look at it critically nd logically
1. if u said ur madam will take care of d bills, dnt u think it might be a way she want to use to trick u out of her house
2. if she accomodates u all ds while y wouldn't she do so at ds critical time
3. she is like a stranger to u d/fore even if she meant taking care of d bills, what happen if she change her mind at d zero hour
4. I believe of all ur friends , relative, school nd course mate there must be somebody dt should be of help, just look well nd inwardly
5. what abt d future of d unborne child, dnt think of now think of tomoro, if u go ur waydn d child is nt protected
my dear braek d secret now because of future if nt d shame nd hurt will be more painful in future
on d job issue , is nt going to be easy as u see it because u need atleast 3_6 months rest bfore u talk of job, it depends sha. so u will depend on a stranger for those months? thnk abt it
also, wt ds ur idea u will end up subjecting urself to slavery which will affect u nd ur child for life
my dear gather enough momentum nd pray, dn tackle nd face whatever u might face at once
highest d wind of d news will blow for a while after which It will become old story
wish u d best. I pray God will nt forsake u in ds journey.

double post

tatacherie:

I eat black soup once in a while though n it comprises of d leaves u mentioned.
U can register after ur 2nd missed period or u can decide to register ASAP.start taking ur prenatal vitamins immediately too.I take folic acid,n fersolate n vit c.pls go n register.

thanks a lot,,

@stadora..... My sis, there's no amount of justifications for your hidding the precious gift. This madam of yours can just wake up one day and speak in other tongues, who then will you call to pay the nanny and take care of the baby? Anyways, God will lead you aright, cos sincerely, you can't take care of the child alone.

@all, mamas PLS, what could be the cause of this recurrent stomach ache Usually starts in the evenings and makes me miserable. UNTILL I vomit all I've eating. Most atimes I go to bed empty stomach cos I won't be able to eat anything whenever it starts, just to wake up with a smashing headache the following morning. Thinking it'll stop by watching what I eat, but nothing stays. My ANC appt is still 3rd of next month.Pls help a sister o.

talltosyne:
I ve d e-copy of the book, if u r interested, reach me on tolulopeolabisi@yahoo.com

Hi dearie please kindly send an e copy of the book to lydiabalogun@gmail.com

Stadora how do u think u can single handedly take care of a baby when you don't have the finance? do u think it's easy for someone to take u in with ur baby? u don't have a job or accommodation, u don't have a particular church u attend, and u dont want ur family members to see u. hmmm as other mamas suggested u have to contact your boyfriend's family or u don't know them? i wonder y u didn't get a teaching job immediately after service knowing your family background. It is well. The Lord will see u through.

talltosyne:
I ve d e-copy of the book, if u r interested, reach me on tolulopeolabisi@yahoo.com

Gat it. Thanks a mill.

stadora:

Sory 4 my absence n late response, had issues wt my phone dat went off n refused 2 on again, bt I ve retrieved it bak. as 4 ur qstions. let me start answerin dem as much as I can.
1, Am in abuja now, I came 2 abj frm anambra, Cos am frm anambra, wen I found out dat am preg. I dnt hv nor no any1 in Abj, besides I dnt even want any1 dat knows me 2 c me. I stayed wt a gud samaritan dat took me in while I help her in d house, bt nw, she s sayin she can't acomodate me after delivery. goin 2 my villa nw is nt an option Cos am ashamed 2 face d pple wt a preg wtout a man responsible 4 it. Am a graduate wt reputation b4 ds mstk hapened.
I apreciate ur response my dear, if ur pple can take care of me, am ready 2 com.

There I was thinking you have a genuine problem not knowing its all about PRIDE and saving face! how can you run all the way to Abuja to stay with a complete stranger when you have family and friends at home in anambra?? You say you are q graduate yet your actions speaks of whom that lacks education and exposure!

I commend you for keeping the baby despite the way you felt people will react, but my dear people will always talk! Your family may seem disappointed at you but they sure won't kill you!!!

Please please please go home!!!!!!! Confide in your mum or sister or aunts someone must surely stand by you! Calling your baby a mistake is totally wrong, the only mistake here is you having unprotected intercourse with a man who won't or can't stand up to his responsibilities!

You have a degree, that's an advantage, you can get a job when your baby is older and take care of him or her without being a liability to your family if that's what you are avoiding.

Suck it up sister and go face your family now!

You've carried this child all alone and by yourself which is not easy please don't deny yourself the care and pampering a new mum deserves by hiding away cuz of shame and the thought of what the world will say!

F***k the world sister you are about to become a mummy and nothing beats that.

divinemandate:
pls can I take food made of scent leaves, uziza and utazi as in pepper soup stuff.
when should I register for antenatal and also start taking prenatal drug , saw my last period on 16th july.
which of d prenatal drug is good, hv heard a lot abt pregnacare plus nd d likes

congrats madam! And welcome to this lovely family! Me think uziza and scent leave is good for you don't know about utazi but as for the pepper soup stuff stay clear of any pepper soup made with uda!
go register for your ante natal now I don't think anytime after a missed period is too early. Start taking folic acid asap! you can start on pregnacarw original it contains folic acid 400mcg. Happy bumping

I have d hard copy but I won't mind d e-copy too B'cos I av a lot of friends on d queue who wants my own copy. Thanks

talltosyne:
I ve d e-copy of the book, if u r interested, reach me on tolulopeolabisi@yahoo.com

@stadora since ur from anambra, u will understand this adage, NDI BE ANYI SIRI NA OSO CHUBA NWATA OGBA NAA IKWU NNE YA. meaning that when something is pursuing a child, he runs to his mother's people. I think that you should go to your mother's people, they will never chase you but rather, they will accept you and care for you. Please don't stay with a stranger, times are bad. Contact any of mother's family now I beg of you.

@stadora,

3. things..

1. I respect you for going through with this pregnancy, it takes a lot of guts, i give you big props..

Then...

2.No one can help you when you are unwilling to help yourself, as @Chinwendym accurately surmised its pride that is the problem & not that you have no one...

I will not advise you to move in with the person who impregnated you by force, it will never end well cos its crystal clear the guy/man wants zilch to do with you.

Though it's a good idea idea to inform his relatives just for formality sake& establish a root for the baby if you really do want to keep this baby which is highly suspect, considering you are trying everything possible to make sure there is no link between your regular life&gestation period (running to abuja {big anonymous city where its easy to blend in}, staying with a stranger, girdling up to deflect probing eyes at that wedding are red herrings) which brings me to the 3rd & most important question

3..Do you plan on running away from your family, & friends forever?

Chinwendym:
congrats madam! And welcome to this lovely family! Me think uziza and scent leave is good for you don't know about utazi but as for the pepper soup stuff stay clear of any pepper soup made with uda!
go register for your ante natal now I don't think anytime after a missed period is too early. Start taking folic acid asap! you can start on pregnacarw original it contains folic acid 400mcg. Happy bumping

ok, thank u. I appreciate.

talltosyne:
I ve d e-copy of the book, if u r interested, reach me on tolulopeolabisi@yahoo.com

amakadon14@gmail.com. thanks in advance.

talltosyne:
I ve d e-copy of the book, if u r interested, reach me on tolulopeolabisi@yahoo.com

Pls can u send it to chelseaumeh86@gmail.com


Thanks in advance

please I need the eBook too, send to divinegrace4abies@gmail.com. congrats to the newest mummies in the house, nerf I am waiting to hear ur birth story.