I come across people here who say they want to learn how to improve their writing skills but may be shy about posting or get ignored when they post. So, I want such people to post some of their work here and get reactions and tips on how they can improve. I am not saying I am an above par writer but I want to learn and help others to learn as well.

Can't Say Nay

You were so strong for so long
You made strength look weak
Made our friendship so special
And trusted me so much
It means much that you did such
You gave courage to some
And got loved by many
To show how much life means to any that wants to live with hope and love
I shed a few tears and treasure your words
More than words they have become
But a legacy to love much and forget not
For sure you had to go
Letting go is hard to do
For you created a bond that is so true
It leaves much to rue
I can't end it this way cos it creates dismay but to you I say
God has his way and to that you and I cannot say nay
Farewell I say
As in my thoughts you'll stay

Help me critique this poem I wrote.

Thank you!

^ I know its poetry, but it is a genre of literature.

Its a gud poem bt u need 2 add som conjunction such as 'but a legacy to love much and forget not'......again...for sure u had 2 go but lettin go is hard 2 do....again...u and i cannot say nay but farewell i say and as in my thoughts u ll stay..gud poet,kudos 2 u guy..

Djblinkz: Its a gud poem bt u need 2 add som conjunction such as 'but a legacy to love much and forget not'......again...for sure u had 2 go but lettin go is hard 2 do....again...u and i cannot say nay but farewell i say and as in my thoughts u ll stay..gud poet,kudos 2 u guy..

What?

Great thread, Mac. I should post something soon.

Poke me or give me a 'thumps up' wen u read this witty pick up lines.


I have this story i heard and i'd love to tell it to you...ah...over a bottle of cold beer.


If said you're everything i ever dreamt of, you'd probaly say i was toasting you, wouldn't you?


Right now, you stun me, but i beg you to unstun me so i could just say how stuning you are.



Did you ever read about that romeo and juliet
story? I bet it was a lie, but we could try to play it, can we?


I bet you have heard this line a thousand times, but certainly not from me....


I think the evening is cool, the music is cooler but you....ah...you are the coolest thing in the club.
.


You seem like you cant hurt a fly but you're H-O-T-I-N-G me!!!


Congratulations, today is your lucky day, you just won a heart...my own!!!


Just now i wish we were chickens, so i could just start chasing you around this whole place.


You know if i was a girl, right now you'd be my worst enemy cos you are geting every guy's attention in the room, including mine.

^Honestly, those pick-up lines look lame to me.

A thread about improving my writing skills, Problem is I dont know what to write about.
I guess I would just write about nothing and hopefully in the end I would have made something out of nothing.
I never thought writing would be this difficult, seeing that in my line of work I have to do alot of writings daily.
Maybe its because I am concious baout other people vetting my write up, thats why this one feels so hard.
I have had to write all my life, tests, letters and even senseless scribbles. I wonder why this one is so hard.
I have tried to pay attention to my punctuations, thats the greatest flaw I know I have in my writings.
Please look upon my write up and judge it with a corrective tongue, as I didnt give too much attention to this write-up.
I hope I have succeeded in making something out of Nothing. Hope you find my write up good.

Alusi Okija.

Does this thread accomodate freelance writers and article writers?

I write articles, mostly political, but sometimes economic, social and religious. I started blogging in 2009 to archive my writings. My blog is down here as my signature, do go through the articles and if you have any area you think I can improve on, call my attention to it on this thread.

I have a lot to say, a lot to write, I end up choking myself.

Okija_juju: A thread about improving my writing skills, Problem is I dont know what to write about.
I guess I would just write about nothing and hopefully in the end I would have made something out of nothing.
I never thought writing would be this difficult, seeing that in my line of work I have to do alot of writings daily.
Maybe its because I am concious baout other people vetting my write up, thats why this one feels so hard.
I have had to write all my life, tests, letters and even senseless scribbles. I wonder why this one is so hard.
I have tried to pay attention to my punctuations, thats the greatest flaw I know I have in my writings.
Please look upon my write up and judge it with a corrective tongue, as I didnt give too much attention to this write-up.
I hope I have succeeded in making something out of Nothing. Hope you find my write up good.

Alusi Okija.

This shows you have good writing skills except for a few typographical errors and your not organising your short write-up in paragraphs. You remind me of myself, my non-fiction writing skills are pretty good. It is my fictional writing (especially in terms of content) that I want to make top grade. I am beginning to feel it but I am too busy to start writing a novel- sure I can write one at the moment but it won't be the best of me.

Chrisbenogor: I have a lot to say, a lot to write, I end up choking myself.

Just let it pour-out of your soul, you will feel much better thereafter. If you don't, you may just choke on those thoughts someday. Let it out! Nairaland has a journal or you can rant all-you-want on a blog that you can create for free.

HELL IS COOL Dirge, deluge of thoughts,sleepless nights,fissured heart,depict your skewed companionship.Now i am on board the ship of solitude,shore of quietude of heart bound.For freedom from the serfdom of your sickly love. But my solitude a symbol of hell you called and for your absence,in loneliness you said i writhe. If hell is no more watching you chortle in another bloke's duvet and not being there anymore to hearken to your glib speech when you amble in at twilight,then hell is cool.

abubaka101: Does this thread accommodate freelance writers and article writers?

Trust me my brother, I started-out as one of your kind. Still do a few gigs sometimes. So yes, you are welcome to share some of your stuff here.

maclatunji:

Just let it pour-out of your soul, you will feel much better thereafter. If you don't, you may just choke on those thoughts someday. Let it out! Nairaland has a journal or you can rant all-you-want on a blog that you can create for free.

There is so much to write about, I have a blog with plenty drafts I never get to finish I try to pour it out but the syntax way my brain works wants to arrange everything and make sure they are in the right place. Here is a sample from my piece "How much is enough"

As I sat in yet another training class today it suddenly dawned on me how dangerous the job I have is, I mean don't get me wrong I always kind of knew but today sitting in a sea survival class I began to ask myself why on earth a sane person would put himself in the line of danger like this? I looked around me and saw men much older than I am some with as much as 15 years in this industry, putting themselves at the forefront everyday for what reason, was it survival or to genuinely contribute to mankind's search for energy?

The more I thought about it the more it began to dawn on me the gravity of things we are ready to set aside just to make some money or should I say survive, I mean a man has to do what he has to do to survive but at what point is it enough? At what level of danger do we say hey I am making enough for my kids and I to survive and I have had enough of this

Choked yet again there, I mean I have all the stuff in my head but I dont know which should come out first or last.

Below is my blog

Chrisbenogor:
There is so much to write about, I have a blog with plenty drafts I never get to finish I try to pour it out but the syntax way my brain works wants to arrange everything and make sure they are in the right place. Here is a sample from my piece "How much is enough"



Choked yet again there, I mean I have all the stuff in my head but I dont know which should come out first or last.

I think I get your predicament from that short sample of your work. No doubt, you do know what you want to say but don't know how to say it. My tips for overcoming this problem are:

1. Read more works of fiction related to the genre you are interested in as a writer. This will help to increase your word power and knowledge of the terminologies that might otherwise prove difficult for you to use.

2. Only write when you feel inspired. (If inspired, I can write ten 500-word articles in 6 hours). If not five 500 word articles in 24-hours. You see the difference? It flows when you are 'feeling it' but it becomes technical when you are not.

3. Relax: You can do it, so there is no need to fret!

oomen: HELL IS COOL Dirge, deluge of thoughts,sleepless nights,fissured heart,depict your skewed companionship.Now i am on board the ship of solitude,shore of quietude of heart bound.For freedom from the serfdom of your sickly love. But my solitude a symbol of hell you called and for your absence,in loneliness you said i writhe. If hell is no more watching you chortle in another bloke's duvet and not being there anymore to hearken to your glib speech when you amble in at twilight,then hell is cool.

This must be from your phone. If you can re-arrange it, we will be able to give our opinions. At the moment, that is difficult.

I write very well and I have many manuscripts still unpublished, my latest work - A thorn in her life was published by Cook communication in the United State of America. The problem I am having is the lack of volunteer editors on Nairaland. How do we go about solving this problem.

[quote author=maclatunji]

Yes,it is actually from my phone.But Mac,what sort of re-arrangement do you really mean?

How does it feel whilst under fire?
Do dribbles of scum leave
Or does it ire?
.

this is a poem (for ya'll to criticize

THE COMA
She’s trance-trapped in her own body
With sealed lip yelling for help
Wondering how she got to the dark side
It just felt so boring in there

Her spirit has been un-snugged to an unknown
There she lay ‘deadless’, yes ‘deadless’!
Like a witty wood in the mercies of its creator.
Suddenly, she saw sparks of light with her eyes wild shut

But she knew that what she thought she saw must have been a goof
Or perhaps flashes from blizzards reverie imaginary
Probably as a result of an overdosed procaine-
Well, she prayed it remained a thought.

What if it wasn’t, what if she was walked through the light?
And she gave up without any brutal effort from her mired state?
But the reflection of what would be of her; her fat bank account; and husband
Or her kins and kindred spirits made her subconsciousness flutter with a silent sound

But when a maddening sensation hits her numbness
Feeling the frozen fresh breeze caressing her skin, she mused.
If the claws of heaven had caught her (she wished)
Or was she readied to be autopsied?


She thought of how her tanned skin could be mutilated-
A feast for some hungry maggots…
It dawned on her, that she must break mute and squirt an SOS sound
A breath, a hiss, or a moan, anything!

Again, she yells, but it was squingy.
She succumbed to the deafness of her mute noise
And in open arms, she welcomed her ensnared delirium, a panic from a dream-
As she still can’t feel anything and herself…

She’s trance-trapped in her own body
With sealed lip yelling for help
Wondering how she got to the dark side
It just felt so boring in there

PS: the light walked through her.

[quote author=oomen][/quote]

I am sure it looks good on mobile but on PC it looks like a sentence making it difficult to decipher.

[quote author=maclatunji]

I see!

This is my Prayer


Yahweh my God.O`Lilly of the valley
Rose of Sharon.The flame of Shiloh.
Light of the afflicted,
comforter of the depressed.
Hear my plea...
Let none of appointment be in Zamfara
let me not die in a kabu-kabu accident
Or in a marwa okada.Please let me die before
My younger ones.Before my wife and children
And let my death be on my bed on a
Valentine day after a candle light dinner

Give me wisdom to write good things
And before my death,let me be a noble laureate,a guru.
Or you cap it with genius
Abba Father!
Let me not beg for alms
Let me have a wife from a good family
Though I cherish America
Let my last days be in Africa
This is my praer O' Yahweh


Amaechi Mandilas

BiafranFirstSon: This is my Prayer


Yahweh my God.O`Lilly of the valley
Rose of Sharon.The flame of Shiloh.
Light of the afflicted,
comforter of the depressed.
Hear my plea...
Let none of appointment be in Zamfara
let me not die in a kabu-kabu accident
Or in a marwa okada.Please let me die before
My younger ones.Before my wife and children
And let my death be on my bed on a
Valentine day after a candle light dinner

Give me wisdom to write good things
And before my death,let me be a noble laureate,a guru.
Or you cap it with genius
Abba Father!
Let me not beg for alms
Let me have a wife from a good family
Though I cherish America
Let my last days be in Africa
This is my praer O' Yahweh



Amaechi Mandilas

Nice poem from a religious point of view.

Thanks Mac

Bukky is the only girl i see as a tickler
She tickles me with her little prattle
She makes kissing a zestful duty
And love a zealous game to play
She makes me feel cardinal in the world
O my Bukky

Bukky knows when am sick
She knows when am salubrious
She loves to see me smile when she is around
And ask those questions that i call prattle
That's what makes her a tickler
That's my bukky

Bukky calms the tremor with her smiles
Now that i want her by my side
She disappears and comes in a blue moon
This makes me groan in pains,it hurts and hunts
Yet i needed to see her face
O my Bukky

Bukky gives an unconditional love
She knows she is my only girl
She comes as an uninvited guest to check my ways
Each time she come she twist her lips in a cheerful smile
And make me fell at ease
That's my Bukky

They tried to change her mind with their words
To play side kicks like they do
Now she is in a dilemma
But after this rain and storm
The bone shall rise again
And Bukky remains my Bukky



Amaechi Mandilas.

It was the 90's, we were young, restless and wild. The Hip-hop themed dresscode was in vogue, every kid had to have a bandana to look cool. L.L Cool J's 'Doin it' track was a big hit at this time. . . Life was good and I was loving every bit of it. It was my sophomore year of junior high, everything was going fine. I had a girlfriend, was an average student and was amongst the 'IT' guys in school. Little did I know that my world was about to be changed forever.

It started out just like any other day, woke up late, rushed a bath, barely grabbed my breakfast of magarined bread and a boiled egg as I rushed out the door. After two buses and a bike ride, I finally made it to school 5 minutes before the morning assembly bell rang. I dropped my bag off in class and rushed out to join the rest of mates, as we strolled to the assembly area, I couldnt help but notice the presence of Policemen sparsely distributed around the school grounds. Gossips started to move around the assembly ground, each person with a different theory from the next as to what was going on. The atmosphere even got more tensed as the latecomers who would normally be quarantined for punishment were let through to join the rest of the school population without problems. Something was definitely up and it wasnt good.

Lines formed, hynms sang, prayers said, National anthem sang all under the watchful eyes of over 15 policemen. After all protocols had been observed, out came our school's principal, walking slowly clutching a cane under his left shoulder and a bible in his right hand. His presence at the morning assembly was all the confrimation we needed that something was definitely wrong as he was barely ever seen by students at all except on rare occasions like today. He walked up and asked all the seniors to go to their individual classes, leaving just the 3 junior classes behind. Just then he started to call out names. . . I counted and voila number 13. . . My name. Now a flurry of thoughts filled my mind. All the vices I had done since I started schooling there came rushing back to me. I was in trouble but didnt know why. . 25 names later and the rest of the school were asked to leave. . . The policemen closed in on us, guns drawn and ready. Just then the principal said take them away, these are the killers you are looking for. . . I immediately lost conciousness, fell to the ground so hard that I woke up on the concrete floor. I had fallen from my 8ft high bunk bed and broken two teeth in my mouth. . .

Today I have a very crooked smile that would live with me till I die. . What a horrible nightmare.


Alusi Okija. . . .


Just writing!!!