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Stats: 1076608 members, 1264896 topics. Date: Wednesday, 19 June 2013 at 12:50 PM
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by maclatunji: 2:28pm On Apr 26, 2012|
@Ojn, tingles you have talent. So many poems here, I think people should post their thoughts on other people's works first before posting theirs. Let us help generate feedback around here.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Iliveon: 11:26am On Apr 27, 2012|
Thanks man for the encouragement.m going to do somefin abt it now. thanks again. Watch out for a poem am going to do tomorrow.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by beylinko(m): 8:42pm On Apr 27, 2012|
Iliveon: Thanks man for the encouragement.m going to do somefin abt it now. thanks again. Watch out for a poem am going to do tomorrow.u r welcome bro n i'm stil waiting. Btw,people r nt commentn on posts,let kip d alive
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by don ifez(m): 10:32pm On Apr 28, 2012|
I do write before, but i just stopped due to lack of motivation.my use of punctuals is bad and also my creativity.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Ninapha(f): 8:30am On Apr 29, 2012|
D poster can liven it up by lookn into evryones write-up dat way d writer wd do a follow-up since the thread is meant to help pple improve. Am still expectn my corrections. I love writing.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by buzreal(m): 10:09pm On May 18, 2012|
with what i have seen in this thread,
I believe i can make an impact.
With what poeple here have wrote,
I have weighed the poems in heart,
they keep on echoing like the psalms David
I could see they carry power of
inspiration, motivation and activation.
With what speakers have said in this
I believe i can say better.
With what speakers are saying now,
I have weighed the words in my mind.
They keep on voicing like the proverbs of
I could see they carry the power of
Inspiration, motivation and activation.
(don't be confuse, am just trying to say i 've got what it take to stump da yard. I really like what you guys are doing here. I came on board some few days ago. And i need to know if there is any competition so i can test my standing with those on top of this stuff).
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by maclatunji: 10:29am On May 19, 2012|
^Google 'latest writing competitions.'
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by dominique(f): 1:09pm On May 22, 2012|
this thread is really a God-send. i'm getting so much inspiration from it. one of my dreams is to publish a work of fiction but i keep doubting myself and i quit . i've started writing another book. its in the thriller/suspense category. the story is all in my head but writing it down has been challenging. also, i'm a bit lacking when it comes to describing poeple and places intricately (the way ojn described the lady in his writeup). i try and post the first couple of chapters when i'm good and ready.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Whiteguru: 6:44pm On May 22, 2012|
Good try. need more work though
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by firestar(f): 1:20pm On May 24, 2012|
BiafranFirstSon: I was on my knees for midnight prayers
...On my knees in midnight pray'rs,
... Thinking countless thoughts simulteanously;
...Crying & praying;
I want to stop but it rowls still!
O' my God, this ethnic earth.
Evryday I remember...
...Of how blessed I was the night before.
... Of when I was ready to eat.
And be reminded of those that starve.
...Of when ready for work,
To those educated without jobs.
With tears & thoughts,
It pricks and won't stop!
This ethnic earth.
I ask myself why.
-Tutsi hate Hutu,
And Hutu kill Tutsi;
-Modakeke fight Ife,
And Ijaw kill Itshekiri;
-Aguleri fight Umeleri?
- The tears from Boko Haram
... and rebels everywhere?
Maybe the end time is near...
O' my God, this ethnic earth.
Again, no more...
Rain in April,
Or December's Hamattan!
Loving lies among brethren,
And hatred in the land!
Nevermore will 'saints' enlighten
Or their candles for souls brighten!
This ethnic earth!
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by maclatunji: 1:33pm On May 24, 2012|
^This mutant has talent.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by mykhel995: 12:34am On May 27, 2012|
Lies in the eyes of the wise,
In the mind of a sage.
'Yond red skied eves,
And cool blue morns.
'Yond cloudless days
And rainless nights.
And fairness, and equality.
All you can imagine, pales.
In comparison to the light.
The bright light that is true paradise
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by firestar(f): 11:30am On May 27, 2012|
Through the mind eye view,
Seeing the unseen:
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Chrisbenogor(m): 5:26pm On May 31, 2012|
I finally finished two posts, although I do not write mushy stuff like you guys. Here is the most recent:
Life my dear friends is a war, sometimes its hard to swallow because we are all brought up thinking we have to be nice and we have to carry other people along that we tend to forget that our primary instinct is to survive. One of the biggest and the most fought war fronts since the history of man is in our “romantic” relationships, personally over the little time I have spent in this world I have found this war to be very ferocious and fought with so much passion but with very little tactical awareness. The main reason is that most of us ignore the main rule of warfare which is know thyself and thine enemy, today that enemy is the Man and we are going to try and understand how this man fights his “romantic” battles.
You see a man is a very straightforward creature, if men were to be a programming language we would be a basic machine level language that understands just zeros and ones, a man does not need a valid reason to want to Be Intimate with another woman aside from the fact that she looks “hot” on a very basic level. A man does not need to do any permutations and think is she good enough or is she smart enough? Maybe to have a real relationship or to settle down with yes he might consider that, but in a very basic and primal way a man is moved by what he sees. So when I hear ladies say “what I cannot stand is cheating, if he does it once I will kick his Bottom to the curb” , I ask is that what the real problem is?
During one of these spats recently I asked my friend which scenario she thinks would hurt her the most:
- You find out your boyfriend went to strip club with his friends and ended up Being Intimate with a hooker
- You find out your bf has been secretly having lunch with his EX for the past month
Nine out of ten times they have a damascus moment and realize that it is emotional betrayal that is much more important than a man Being Intimate, but she says, why is it that when a woman goes out to a club and ends up sleeping with a guy she is called names? Well that is because women usually have to cross that emotional barrier first before it gets to sex. I like to look at it from an evolutionary point of view, you see a woman’s child is always her child, and as such her own issues are things like will this man be able to take care of this child, provide food and shelter for us or is he just going to run a way ? In that light a woman has to be a lot more careful and scrutinize who she is getting into bed with. The man on the other hand has a bigger dilemma, he does not always know for sure if a child is his own, so he wants to “try as many times as possible” to make sure that his own genealogy continues to exist.
Now like I said I know this is probably hard for some of you to swallow and some might look at this as a justification for a man to cheat but it is really only an explanation of how a man works. No amount of wishing away would change the fact that men will cheat regardless of what the stakes are, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, JFK, Tiger Woods………the list is endless. The trick is to know when the man crosses the emotional line and from then onwards the gloves come off, protect yourself as much as you can, betrayal is the real pain in any heart break.
I am a staunch believer that a relationship is 40% love, 40% commitment and 20% of sacrifice, as a man I often remind myself of this and it keeps me from straying. This does not mean that we should hide how we really see things, I think embracing who you are and comparing it viz a viz what you want from life or what you have committed yourself to goes a long way in dealing with this “demon” we carry inside. The world is fast changing and one of the big tenets of evolution is the specie that fails to adapt ultimately goes extinct.
In the words of the famous Sun Tzu:
1. Therefore, I say: Know your enemy and know yourself; in a
hundred battles, you will never be defeated.
2. When you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your
chances of winning or losing are equal.
3. If ignorant both of your enemy and of yourself, you are sure to
be defeated in every battle.
As always I appreciate your comments. Have a nice weekend guys.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by maclatunji: 8:13pm On May 31, 2012|
^Before I saw the link under your post I thought to my self: 'this should be a blog post' and now that I see that it is, I say well-done.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Felixalex: 3:44pm On Jun 02, 2012|
THIS IS A NEW WEBSITE CREATING A PLATFORM FOR NIGERIA ARTISTS (LITERAL AND VISUAL) TO SHOWCASE THEIR SKILLS AND GET EXPOSURE.. ALSO CONNECT WITH OTHER ARTISTS AND LEARN FROM THEIR EXPERIENCE.. JOIN NOW AND MAKE THE MOST OUT OF IT...
ITS A NEW WEBSITE HENCE ALL REASONABLE SUGGESTIONS AND MODIFICATION WOULD BE ADDRESSED DUELY.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Efemena_xy: 3:45pm On Jun 03, 2012|
Phew! I've finally summoned up some courage to finally put pen to paper. This is my first sole attempt at writing a fictional piece. Let me know what you think Extracted from my blog at writing.com with username mimizz
He was determined to put pen to paper. How hard could it be? “Well, I’ll never know for sure unless I try, so quit procrastinating man”, he silently admonished himself.
As he gazed down the hills from the tree stump where he sat, he could see the vehicles on the busy congested roads below weaving through each other like a long line of ants marching on determinedly on a food mission. He knew the drivers would be honking madly, freely throwing insults at each other whilst trying to escape the traffic hold-up in the intense heat. It was the same scenario, day after day. He replayed the events that had happened earlier that afternoon on his way back from his publishers in his mind. His agent, not one to mince words had told him in no uncertain terms that he really needed to buckle up and come up with some good stories. Not that he needed to be told this anyway – his bank balance had come dangerously close to just two figures.
“Hey lady, move it!” An irate bus driver yelled impatiently. “And next time get your man to teach you how to drive properly, before you venture back here on the roads again!”
“What’s your problem man?” The female driver of the Honda Civic car hissed angrily back at him. “Please go park your scrap heap in one corner”, she retorted whilst the passengers of the over crowded fourteen seater bus roared with laughter. He smiled inwardly to himself as he recalled the event. That exchange of words had briefly taken his mind off his worries whilst sandwiched between two heavily built passengers.
“No, this isn’t helping at all. I really need to stay focused”, he thought desperately to himself. Ignoring the slight tingle around his ankles, he looked upwards into the clear, cloudless blue sky for inspiration; he willed his mind to come up with something, anything, just an idea for starters. He could feel the slight breeze blowing tantalizinlg against his face. Everything up here seemed to be at a standstill. “Why can’t life be this simple?” he mused.
An eagle circling above him squawked incessantly. He glared at it angrily willing it to go away. He felt the tingle again, this time on his knees and laps. Brushing his hands slightly over his legs, he recalled how once upon a time, he had never been short of ideas. He always seemed to have an influx of new ideas. Maybe it’s a seasonal thing, he thought, whilst trying to adjust himself into a more comfortable position on the tree stump. Sighing, he placed his arms behind his head, interlocking his fingers behind his neck. Now he felt the tingling on his both his arms and legs.
Looking down at his feet in irritation at what might be causing his discomfort, he took a sharp intake of breath as he suddenly noticed the unmistakable red line of soldier ants! He had unknowingly sat right in their path. He jumped off the tree stump but alas he was too late. The tingling he had felt on his arms and legs now felt like sharp painful nips. His brown leather shoes were covered with the little red horrors. He stamped his feet agitatedly to rid of them but it was of no use. His feet felt like they were on fire.
Bending down, he quickly took off his shoes and socks whilst slapping his hands over his arms and legs to rid of the little monsters. It made little difference. He decided there and then to take off his trousers and shirt, whilst desperately trying to rid himself of the angry ants. Ripping off his shirt and trousers, he was beyond caring. Nothing mattered more than to rid himself of them after all, there was no one up here to see him. Then without a second thought, he threw himself on the floor, rolling over on the green grass in his boxer shorts. The feel of the grass on his skin was cool and comforting.
“Ah”, he sighed in relief, as the biting subsided.
Suddenly he heard laughter flowing from a nearby tree. Looking up, he saw his brother arms akimbo, lounging carelessly against a nearby tree, watching him intently.
“Half n@ked writer rolls on grass for inspiration!” he chortled. “Classic!”
“You wouldn’t find it classic getting bitten by soldier ants” he retorted, nursing his itching body.
“Ah!” but you’ve got to see the funny side of it though; his brother grinned cheekily at him.
© Copyright 2012 Mimizz (UN: mimizz at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Mimizz has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by firestar(f): 7:00pm On Jun 03, 2012|
You should write here more often!
Hissed traffic exchanges like that are hilarious!
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Efemena_xy: 8:34pm On Jun 03, 2012|
^^ Thanks firestar! Much appreciated
Re: traffic exchanges
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by maclatunji: 4:28pm On Jun 04, 2012|
Efemena_xy: ^^ Thanks firestar! Much appreciated
I read it yesterday- nice! Except that you did not pity your charcter.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Efemena_xy: 5:54pm On Jun 04, 2012|
^^ Thanks Mac.
But on a more serious note, I was hoping though that you would suggest tangible areas of improvement I could take on board.
Speaking of which, could you take a look at the short stories I compiled on this thread and provide me with some constructive critism pls?
Here's the link: http://www.nairaland.com/954368/collection-short-stories-efe
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by maclatunji: 9:02pm On Jun 04, 2012|
^Ok, I will look. at your short stories later. There's no need to be unduly critical of what you have written here- that would just be bad-belle.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Chrisbenogor(m): 1:54pm On Jul 31, 2012|
And the third post is out! MAN this was difficult. Oga tunji oya come and critico the thing for me jare so I will know if its time to fire my night school teacher.
The Pursuit of Happiness........
Dear Future Wife,
I am sorry it has taken this long to find you, I have been busy trying to get myself ready to support the family financially and emotionally. Today though I take a break from trying to make my daily bread to write you this heart felt letter.
I am seriously beginning to think that I am on the wrong path to find you, growing up they said someday we would meet and fall crazy in love, we will get married and live happily ever after. Dont get me wrong I am not ready to get married now, but I need these next years to form a friendship with you and know that it is really you. However my experience thus far has shown me that is probably never going to happen, maybe they got the sequence wrong because now I am beginning to think that love before getting married is just a cocktail for disaster. Sounds crazy eh? Marriage as an institution has been abused and disabused so much these days and this is one of the fundamental reason, people who have chemicals running in their brains decide to tie the knot without actually plotting a graph of if their lives flow together or if they are totally apart.
Waking up this morning and looking at the mirror I could not help but shake the feeling that you are farther away from me today than you have ever been. Funke is fun but I know she is not you, she loves facebook and twitter way too much to even listen to the subtle messages I have sent all this while her about getting ready to be serious. Heck she is not even capable of seeing past her nose and her very next venture......alone I must say which makes me wonder.......does she think I would be sitting around here waiting for her? Needless to mention the countless times my trust has been betrayed, these days I dont even bother to check whats going on. That bridge is burned, if she does turn out to be you I'll be......
So now I have decided to apply a more scientific and thought out approach in my search for you, I will now focus on the qualities that make a successful relationship first before ever plunging into another crazy time wasting venture (God help me stop looking at hips and all those very good things a man likes to enjoy). For now all girls under the age of 24 are out of it, I am sure you are older than that now. Not that I have anything against that age group but if I am to increase my chances of meeting you I need to do a little bit of math. You see my experience has shown that 9 out of 10 girls in that age group do not even know what it means to have a man in their life talk less of keeping one. They are carried away by the beauty of their youth, they think men would toast them forever. My hope is that by eliminating this age group I would have come a step closer to finding you.
I hope by now you would be mature enough to control yourself and know how to set the priorities in your life. I loved computers, heck I still do but you see my dear I knew that my chances doing that in school would not give me that job you think I ought to have especially here in Nigeria. I put my head down and did something I know would feed me and I can tell you now I can afford all the gadgets I want. So when we do meet, please do well to humour me about your dreams to be a Victorias secret model, but let it stay as it is just a dream. Do well to tell me about your dreams to have a charity and help motherless babies all around the world, but also do well to tell me you would do anything for your family when you have one even if it means sacrificing these things. You see my dear all I am trying to say is let your dreams be in syntax, when you see that I am ready to settle in two years do not say you want to do a 4 year PHd first, your certificate can always come later in life. What is certain is that I would not wait around.
I have and I am still working hard to make sure that life is comfortable for me, you and our kids. My ambition is enough to send a kite to the moon so please if you are that ambitious too, please kindly tone it down. Your time would come and I would gladly seat back and watch you trot around everywhere but that not until you and I have tried our very best to give our kids all the attention they would need to be successful in life. In return for this which you would give to me I pledge to try and make you the happiest woman in this world, with all the respect that you deserve as the mother of my kids and my wife.
Honestly though I am very close to crossing the Rubicon, I would wake up and try one day as a time as I have been doing now. Try not to keep me waiting longer.
Your Future Husband.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Okija_juju(m): 4:12pm On Jul 31, 2012|
Chrisbenogor: And the third post is out! MAN this was difficult. Oga tunji oya come and critico the thing for me jare so I will know if its time to fire my night school teacher.
I just weak for this your letter.. I wan carry am plus your address go give my sister now make she read.
One word to describe it; Flawless!
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Chrisbenogor(m): 4:17pm On Jul 31, 2012|
Okija_juju:Running Around dancing azonto!
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by firestar(f): 7:33pm On Jul 31, 2012|
(Purses her lips thoughtfully)
Chrisbenogor: And the third post is out! MAN this was difficult. Oga tunji oya come and critico the thing for me jare so I will know if its time to fire my night school teacher.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by uceee(m): 8:00pm On Jul 31, 2012|
Chrisbenogor:Mehn, you have really done very well here. Your writing style is unique. You gat recommend that your night school teacher to us. There is still a lot of room for improvement. Don't rest on your oars.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by maclatunji: 8:09pm On Jul 31, 2012|
@Chrisbenogor, that is absolutely brilliant!
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Abyjah: 8:28am On Aug 04, 2012|
Boy! Am I impressed?! You peeps are doing great here.
Firestar, you've killed me.
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by Chrisbenogor(m): 8:07pm On Aug 29, 2012|
Trading the Emotions
Have you guys ever wondered how much fun emotional banking would be? When I feel too happy I walk into the bank and deposit some joy. Happiness becomes credit and each time you are sad you can simply "debit" your bank account and get some happiness back. If you have ever been at that point where you see all your efforts go down the drain, when you look at all you have put into that business, into that friendship, into that boyfriend, into that job and you watch it all sinking away......times when you could just go into your wallet, take out that shiny emotional ATM card, insert it in a machine and get some little change just to get by for the now.
It makes me wonder how painful it must be for people who have lived and loved each other in a marriage ( and please 72 days does not qualify as one oh) for years, most especially when it is one party who is suddenly fed up and can no longer live the "lie" anymore. Picking up the pieces my dear friends is one of the most difficult things to do, it is one of those times in a person's life when you would like to say I am emotionally buoyant. Sometimes I wonder what actually hurts the most, is it the time? or the energy? ( I can hear some people shout BOTH!) or is it the fact that someone or something as the case may be you have shared you life with for the past years is just about to go down the drain.
In the stock exchange that is human relationships emotions are everyday, sadly its is commodity with so many different variants and traded away all too cheaply. There are some who are masters by nature, they are talented, they put in little or nothing to get massive returns from others. Swaying the market in the bullish or bearish direction whenever they please. They play the less skilled who are foolishly lured to make investments that would yield big returns only for them to watch their time energy and money go down the drain just like that.
There is a large host of us though who sit back and study the market, or by chance came across some very good stock at the time. We sit and nurture it for years, watching every single candle burn with excitement and even though they were some low shadows these stocks were always on the ascendency. Till that day comes when we make a silly mistake or for no fault of ours we watch as the stock went down, watched our years of suffering go down the drain just like that.
After days (or weeks or years) of mourning we realize once again that we have run low in emotional funds, and it is time to do the gamble again. We look in the mirror and tell ourselves that we would never make that mistake again for anything in the world, we look around find that stock that had all the qualities we think was missing in our previous portfolio and once again we delve into exchange market. Is it a game of chance or do the winners know how to calculate every move?
How well is your portfolio of emotions doing?
|Re: Not Sure Of Your Writing Skills? Post Here And We Can Help Each Other Improve by maclatunji: 11:59am On Aug 30, 2012|
^Nice try, although I think you got a little bit lost in the last two paragraphs. Read and edit them for some plain grammatical errors and blurred concepts that make your conclusion not as striking as the beginning.
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