| Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by LogicMind: 1:29pm On Apr 01, 2012 |
Oh lord my mouth will give you praise today.
Logic mind your servant comes in front of you.
I am but a grain of sand. I am your sword, please use me.
I have never seen you god but i know i will.
i don't care what they say god, but you are omnipotent, omniscience, omnitechnology, ominous.
you made a virgin conceive without the benefit of orrgasm. you are wonderful.
i will give you praises morning, afternoon evening and even while i sleep because i have nothing more important to do.
loving god, you made the white man for me so he can provide all my earthly needs. thank you god for the white man who introduced me to you, oh! most high.
All he wanted was this black liquid running under my ground. ah! the foolish white fellow.
you made it possible lord.
you even made a donkey talk because humans started sounding silly.
your servant commanded the sun to stand still, and it did! god! god! god!, how many times did i call you?
you made the impossible possible,
jehovah!
yahweh!
allah!
el shaddai,
lion of the tribe of judah!,
father of the fatherless,
hope of the hopeless,
the invisible husband of the widow!,
the beginning and the end,
abba father!
great messiah!
my saviour!
my fortress!,
alpha and omega!
the greatest!,
the holiest!,
may all glory and honour be upon thy name!,
powerful angry one,
loving warrior,
the mouth that spits fire.
when you say yes who can say no?,
The creator of heaven, hell, light, darkness, good, evil, satan and jeeeeeesus!,
my redeemer!
hosannah in the highest of highest!
Allah arhkbarhh!,
mohamed is your prophet,
even the birds of the air and the fishes in the sea worship and give you praise.
Did you not murder the first son of every egyptian household for daring to annoy your anointed?
I pity my enemies
You are worthy!
Did you not exterminate the inhabitants of jericho so your chosen ones should have a home?
In the midst of all the destruction, did you not save a treacherous ashawo from murder?
King of kings!,
Alpha and Omega!
your marvellous deeds are marvellous.
Who dares challenge you?
Who dares stand in front of you oh! lord?
I am that I am!
You made the river split in two so your people can pass.
You made the same river consume their hated African pursuers.
I bow before thee,
Nigeria kneels before thee,
Africa grovels before thee.
Our bread of life!,
Our morning sun!
Igwe!
Oba!
The no.1 Emir.
King of glory!
You did all these and many more but it wasn't enough for you. No it wasn't.
You did more: You sent your one and only semi-orphan son to come and be murdered for my sake.
What love!
What excellent love you have shown me!
And you sent him in style.
Did he come like the rest of us? No.
He had had to dis-virgin a poor carpenter's fiancee with his head.
That was the first miracle.
Was that enough? No!
Destruction runs in the blood. Some would say it is genetic.
Like father like son he got angry and destroyed the city's temple.
He got twelve men to leave their jobs and family, turn them to drunkards and made them follow him around the middle east with weapons.
They become so drunk that they could no longer distinguish between water and wine?
Gracious one!
Like you father he saved another ashawo from lynching.
Like you provided manna for your hunger stricken people in the wilderness; like you commanded Elisha to give 20 loaves of bread to famine suffering isrealites to eat and still have leftovers, your son multiplied bread and fish for his hunger stricken followers.
The bread of life!
Unchangeable one!
The morning sun!,
My head corner stone!
Did he travel in style with lambo of ferrari as the son of the creator of all things? No.
The humble one decided that a donkey was the most appropriate means of travel for a heavenly prince.
When your son was betrayed, did he complain? No!
When he was condemned did he complain? No!
The lamb of calvary!
Roman sallah ram!
Undefeatable god.
When his hench man used his weapon to cut off another man's ear what did he do? He put it right back on!
The miracle worker.
He made the blind see!
He made the barren pregnant,
he caused immediate menopause on menstruating woman,
he raised lazarus from the dead!
He raised himself from the dead!
and flew back home!
Wonderful,
You made them not behead him.
They did not stab his heart did they?
Instead they only put 5 holes in him 4 of which are on extremities.
Marvelous,
Like don corleone he stayed alive after five holes in his body.
Rock of ages!
Omnipresent,
Jah! Rastafari!,
Almighty I.
The most I!
I praise thee,
I worship yee!
I magnify your holy name!
The devil shall bow.
My enemies will rot. As promised to king david.
You commanded us not to take your name in vain and we shall not.
Did you not make everything in six days six thousand years ago?
The consuming fire!
Mountain mover!
Ancient of days!
My saviour.
Your son promised to come back.
We are waiting.
We have not heard from you since.
But we believe.
We have faith
Unwavering faith.
Darwing can talk.
Like Thomas, doubters will doubt
But I will praise thy holy name till thy kingdom come.
I will kill a cow for you this easter
Even though you won’t eat it
But I don’t mind
You don’t need food for strength.
Food needs you for strength.
Please accept my thanks
Please accept my praises.
Please accept my adoration.
Did you not lay afflictions upon Job, your worthy servant?
Did you not kill all his family?
May it not be my portion.
Did he not continue praising you afterwards.
What wisdom!
I do the same with your servant, the white man.
Your mercy is infinite.
Your foolishness starts with my wisdom.
The fool says in his heart that you are not.
I am not a fool.
I say nothing in my heart.
Dear lord.
Your wisdom is infinite.
I can only marvel at your word.
Orisirisi Father.
Did you not send Tsunami to Japan when they started misbehaving?
When U.S. thought they ruled over the world, did you not sent hurricane Katrina to them to remind them of who is in charge?
Everlasting father!
Even their presidents proclaim your name.
They kill in your name.
Muslims murder in your name.
Your name is wonderful.
Your name is powerful.
You are intoxicating.
Did Elisha your man not make an iron axe float on water?
Did your son not walk on water?
Did you not make the Arameans blind?
Blessed be your glorious name
And may it be exalted above all blessing and praise.
Yashabawawashabalawala. Yemashimawallalaa. Walshamamabamabashalam!
You alone are the lord!
You made heavens
Even the highest heavens
And all their starry host
The earth and all that is on it
The seas and all that is in them
You give life to everything
And multitudes of heaven worship you.
You are the lord god who took abram from Ur of Chaldeans and renamed him Abraham.
You promised to commit genocide and wipe away the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Jebusites and Girhashites so his descendants can take over their land.
They went further and murdered the people of Heshbon, Bashan and the Philistines.
They didn’t know anything about south America and Australia.
Oh! Patient one, you made sure the world heard about you through the sword, colonialism, wars, jihad and crusades.
You gave laws that are just and right: you even told us how to treat slaves and that women must shut up and put up.
Righteous one!
You brought water from rock and your son brought wine from water.
Reliable God!
Beautiful god!
My cup overflows.
Supernatural god.
Hear my prayer.
Heal my madness. |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by LagosShia: 1:43pm On Apr 01, 2012 |
Logic Mind: Oh lord my mouth will give you praise today.
Logic mind your servant comes in front of you.
I am but a grain of sand. I am your sword, please use me.
I have never seen you god but i know i will.
i don't care what they say god, but you are omnipotent, omniscience, omnitechnology, ominous.
you made a virgin conceive without the benefit of orrgasm. you are wonderful.
i will give you praises morning, afternoon evening and even while i sleep because i have nothing more important to do.
loving god, you made the white for me so he can provide all my earthly needs. thank you god for the white man who introduced me to you, oh! most high.
All he wanted was this black liquid running under my ground. ah! the foolish white fellow.
you made it possible lord.
you even made a donkey talk because humans started sounding silly.
your servant commanded the sun to stand still, and it did! god! god! god!, how many times did i call you?
you made the impossible possible,
jehovah!
yahweh!
allah!
el shaddai,
lion of the tribe of judah!,
father of the fatherless,
hope of the hopeless,
the invisible husband of the widow!,
the beginning and the end,
abba father!
great messiah!
my saviour!
my fortress!,
alpha and omega!
the greatest!,
the holiest!,
may all glory and honour be upon thy name!,
powerful angry one,
loving warrior,
the mouth that spits fire.
when you say yes who can say no?,
The creator of heaven, hell, light, darkness, good, evil, satan and jeeeeeesus!,
my redeemer!
hosannah in the highest of highest!
Allah arhkbarhh!,
mohamed is your prophet,
even the birds of the air and the fishes in the sea worship and give you praise.
Did you not murder the first son of every egyptian household for daring to annoy your anointed?
I pity my enemies
You are worthy!
Did you not exterminate the inhabitants of jericho so your chosen ones should have a home?
In the midst of all the destruction, did you not save a treacherous ashawo from murder?
King of kings!,
Alpha and Omega!
your marvellous deeds are marvellous.
Who dares challenge you?
Who dares stand in front of you oh! lord?
I am that I am!
You made the river split in two so your people can pass.
You made the same river consume their hated African pursuers.
I bow before thee,
Nigeria kneels before thee,
Africa grovels before thee.
Our bread of life!,
Our morning sun!
Igwe!
Oba!
The no.1 Emir.
King of glory!
You did all these and many more but it wasn't enough for you. No it wasn't.
You did more: You sent your one and only semi-orphan son to come and be murdered for my sake.
What love!
What excellent love you have shown me!
And you sent him in style.
Did he come like the rest of us? No.
He had had to dis-virgin a poor carpenter's fiancee with his head.
That was the first miracle.
Was that enough? No!
Destruction runs in the blood. Some would say it is genetic.
Like father like son he got angry and destroyed the city's temple.
He got twelve men to leave their jobs and family, turn them to drunkards and made them follow him around the middle east with weapons.
They become so drunk that they could no longer distinguish between water and wine?
Gracious one!
Like you father he saved another ashawo from lynching.
Like you provided manna for your hunger stricken people in the wilderness; like you commanded Elisha to give 20 loaves of bread to famine suffering isrealites to eat and still have leftovers, your son multiplied bread and fish for his hunger stricken followers.
The bread of life!
Unchangeable one!
The morning sun!,
My head corner stone!
Did he travel in style with lambo of ferrari as the son of the creator of all things? No.
The humble one decided that a donkey was the most appropriate means of travel for a heavenly prince.
When your son was betrayed, did he complain? No!
When he was condemned did he complain? No!
The lamb of calvary!
Roman sallah ram!
Undefeatable god.
When his hench man used his weapon to cut off another man's ear what did he do? He put it right back on!
The miracle worker.
He made the blind see!
He made the barren pregnant,
he caused immediate menopause on menstruating woman,
he raised lazarus from the dead!
He raised himself from the dead!
and flew back home!
Wonderful,
You made them not behead him.
They did not stab his hear did they?
Instead they only put 5 holes in him 4 of which are on extremities.
Marvelous,
Like don corleone he stayed alive after five holes in his body.
Rock of ages!
Omnipresent,
Jah! Rastafari!,
Almighy I.
The most I!
I praise thee,
I worship yee!
I magnify your holy name!
The devil shall bow.
My enemies will rot. As promised to king david.
You commanded us not to take your name in vain and we shall not.
Did you not make everything in six days six thousand years ago?
The consuming fire!
Mountain mover!
Ancient of days!
My saviour.
Your son promised to come back.
We are waiting.
We have not heard from you since.
But we believe.
We have faith
Unwavering faith.
Darwing can talk.
Like Thomas, doubters will doubt
But I will praise thy holy name till thy kingdom come.
I will kill a cow for you this easter
Even though you won’t eat it
But I don’t mind
You don’t need food for strength.
Food needs you for strength.
Please accept my thanks
Please accept my praises.
Please accept my adoration.
Did you not lay afflictions upon Job, your worthy servant?
Did you not kill all his family?
May it not be my portion.
Did he not continue praising you afterwards.
What wisdom!
I do the same with your servant, the white man.
Your mercy is infinite.
Your foolishness starts with my wisdom.
The fool says in his heart that you are not.
I am not a fool.
I say nothing in my heart.
Dear lord.
Your wisdom is infinite.
I can only marvel at your word.
Orisirisi Father.
Did you not send Tsunami to Japan when they started misbehaving?
When U.S. though they ruled over the world, did you not sent hurricane Katrina to them to remind them of who is in charge?
Everlasting father!
Even their presidents proclaim your name.
They kill in your name.
Muslims murder in your name.
Your name is wonderful.
Your name is powerful.
You are intoxicating.
Did Elisha your man not make an iron axe float on water?
Did your son not walk on water?
Did you not make the Arameans blind?
Blessed be your glorious name
And may it be exalted above all blessing and praise.
Yashabawawashabalawala. Yemashimawallalaa. Walshamamabamabashalam!
You alone are the lord!
You made heavens
Even the highest heavens
And all their starry host
The earth and all that is on it
The seas and all that is in them
You give life to everything
And multitudes of heaven worship you.
You are the lord god who took abram from Ur of Chaldeans and renamed him Abraham.
You promised to commit genocide and wipe away the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Jebusites and Girhashites so his descendants can take over their land.
They went further and murdered the people of Heshbon, Bashan and the Philistines.
They didn’t know anything about south America and Australia.
Oh! Patient one, you made sure the world heard about you through the sword, colonialism, wars, jihad and crusades.
You gave laws that are just and right: you even told us how to treat slaves and that women must shut up and put up.
Righteous one!
You brought water from rock and your son brought wine from water.
Reliable God!
Beautiful god!
My cup overflows.
Supernatural god.
Hear my prayer.
Heal my madness. madness at its peak!!! ive never laughed this much in the religion forum!!!  well,i dont blame you.it is what christianity and its bible have turned you into. great humor but my advice to you is to seek knowledge and repent.it will be better than making people laugh at you. |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by harakiri(m): 3:22pm On Apr 01, 2012 |
Well scripted prayer man. Nice one. |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by mkmyers45(m): 4:02pm On Apr 01, 2012 |
Shocking but light humour |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by Jenwitemi(m): 5:20pm On Apr 01, 2012 |
|
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by Miroslavklose: 5:30pm On Apr 01, 2012 |
these hilarious waste of space and internet data could have cost a fortune Logic Mind: Oh lord my mouth will give you praise today.
Logic mind your servant comes in front of you.
I am but a grain of sand. I am your sword, please use me.
I have never seen you god but i know i will.
i don't care what they say god, but you are omnipotent, omniscience, omnitechnology, ominous.
you made a virgin conceive without the benefit of orrgasm. you are wonderful.
i will give you praises morning, afternoon evening and even while i sleep because i have nothing more important to do.
loving god, you made the white man for me so he can provide all my earthly needs. thank you god for the white man who introduced me to you, oh! most high.
All he wanted was this black liquid running under my ground. ah! the foolish white fellow.
you made it possible lord.
you even made a donkey talk because humans started sounding silly.
your servant commanded the sun to stand still, and it did! god! god! god!, how many times did i call you?
you made the impossible possible,
jehovah!
yahweh!
allah!
el shaddai,
lion of the tribe of judah!,
father of the fatherless,
hope of the hopeless,
the invisible husband of the widow!,
the beginning and the end,
abba father!
great messiah!
my saviour!
my fortress!,
alpha and omega!
the greatest!,
the holiest!,
may all glory and honour be upon thy name!,
powerful angry one,
loving warrior,
the mouth that spits fire.
when you say yes who can say no?,
The creator of heaven, hell, light, darkness, good, evil, satan and jeeeeeesus!,
my redeemer!
hosannah in the highest of highest!
Allah arhkbarhh!,
mohamed is your prophet,
even the birds of the air and the fishes in the sea worship and give you praise.
Did you not murder the first son of every egyptian household for daring to annoy your anointed?
I pity my enemies
You are worthy!
Did you not exterminate the inhabitants of jericho so your chosen ones should have a home?
In the midst of all the destruction, did you not save a treacherous ashawo from murder?
King of kings!,
Alpha and Omega!
your marvellous deeds are marvellous.
Who dares challenge you?
Who dares stand in front of you oh! lord?
I am that I am!
You made the river split in two so your people can pass.
You made the same river consume their hated African pursuers.
I bow before thee,
Nigeria kneels before thee,
Africa grovels before thee.
Our bread of life!,
Our morning sun!
Igwe!
Oba!
The no.1 Emir.
King of glory!
You did all these and many more but it wasn't enough for you. No it wasn't.
You did more: You sent your one and only semi-orphan son to come and be murdered for my sake.
What love!
What excellent love you have shown me!
And you sent him in style.
Did he come like the rest of us? No.
He had had to dis-virgin a poor carpenter's fiancee with his head.
That was the first miracle.
Was that enough? No!
Destruction runs in the blood. Some would say it is genetic.
Like father like son he got angry and destroyed the city's temple.
He got twelve men to leave their jobs and family, turn them to drunkards and made them follow him around the middle east with weapons.
They become so drunk that they could no longer distinguish between water and wine?
Gracious one!
Like you father he saved another ashawo from lynching.
Like you provided manna for your hunger stricken people in the wilderness; like you commanded Elisha to give 20 loaves of bread to famine suffering isrealites to eat and still have leftovers, your son multiplied bread and fish for his hunger stricken followers.
The bread of life!
Unchangeable one!
The morning sun!,
My head corner stone!
Did he travel in style with lambo of ferrari as the son of the creator of all things? No.
The humble one decided that a donkey was the most appropriate means of travel for a heavenly prince.
When your son was betrayed, did he complain? No!
When he was condemned did he complain? No!
The lamb of calvary!
Roman sallah ram!
Undefeatable god.
When his hench man used his weapon to cut off another man's ear what did he do? He put it right back on!
The miracle worker.
He made the blind see!
He made the barren pregnant,
he caused immediate menopause on menstruating woman,
he raised lazarus from the dead!
He raised himself from the dead!
and flew back home!
Wonderful,
You made them not behead him.
They did not stab his heart did they?
Instead they only put 5 holes in him 4 of which are on extremities.
Marvelous,
Like don corleone he stayed alive after five holes in his body.
Rock of ages!
Omnipresent,
Jah! Rastafari!,
Almighty I.
The most I!
I praise thee,
I worship yee!
I magnify your holy name!
The devil shall bow.
My enemies will rot. As promised to king david.
You commanded us not to take your name in vain and we shall not.
Did you not make everything in six days six thousand years ago?
The consuming fire!
Mountain mover!
Ancient of days!
My saviour.
Your son promised to come back.
We are waiting.
We have not heard from you since.
But we believe.
We have faith
Unwavering faith.
Darwing can talk.
Like Thomas, doubters will doubt
But I will praise thy holy name till thy kingdom come.
I will kill a cow for you this easter
Even though you won’t eat it
But I don’t mind
You don’t need food for strength.
Food needs you for strength.
Please accept my thanks
Please accept my praises.
Please accept my adoration.
Did you not lay afflictions upon Job, your worthy servant?
Did you not kill all his family?
May it not be my portion.
Did he not continue praising you afterwards.
What wisdom!
I do the same with your servant, the white man.
Your mercy is infinite.
Your foolishness starts with my wisdom.
The fool says in his heart that you are not.
I am not a fool.
I say nothing in my heart.
Dear lord.
Your wisdom is infinite.
I can only marvel at your word.
Orisirisi Father.
Did you not send Tsunami to Japan when they started misbehaving?
When U.S. thought they ruled over the world, did you not sent hurricane Katrina to them to remind them of who is in charge?
Everlasting father!
Even their presidents proclaim your name.
They kill in your name.
Muslims murder in your name.
Your name is wonderful.
Your name is powerful.
You are intoxicating.
Did Elisha your man not make an iron axe float on water?
Did your son not walk on water?
Did you not make the Arameans blind?
Blessed be your glorious name
And may it be exalted above all blessing and praise.
Yashabawawashabalawala. Yemashimawallalaa. Walshamamabamabashalam!
You alone are the lord!
You made heavens
Even the highest heavens
And all their starry host
The earth and all that is on it
The seas and all that is in them
You give life to everything
And multitudes of heaven worship you.
You are the lord god who took abram from Ur of Chaldeans and renamed him Abraham.
You promised to commit genocide and wipe away the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Jebusites and Girhashites so his descendants can take over their land.
They went further and murdered the people of Heshbon, Bashan and the Philistines.
They didn’t know anything about south America and Australia.
Oh! Patient one, you made sure the world heard about you through the sword, colonialism, wars, jihad and crusades.
You gave laws that are just and right: you even told us how to treat slaves and that women must shut up and put up.
Righteous one!
You brought water from rock and your son brought wine from water.
Reliable God!
Beautiful god!
My cup overflows.
Supernatural god.
Hear my prayer.
Heal my madness. these hilarious waste of space and internet data could have cost a fortune |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by Image123(m): 7:55pm On Apr 01, 2012 |
So much ignorance all in one OP. All Thy works shall praise Thy name in earth and sky and sea. Whether they like am or not. |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by slimyem: 8:20pm On Apr 01, 2012 |
smh! |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by Jack65: 9:42pm On Apr 01, 2012 |
ROTFLMAO, hilarious! Hope the christians here notice the sarcarsim though! |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by Jack65: 9:45pm On Apr 01, 2012 |
Miroslav klose: these hilarious waste of space and internet data could have cost a fortune Yet you quoted the whole post! |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by Image123(m): 1:00am On Apr 02, 2012 |
Jack65: ROTFLMAO, hilarious! Hope the christians here notice the sarcarsim though! It's ignorant sarcasm then. And you think it the in-thing to go sarcastic on God? God is not a man. |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by Jack65: 6:37am On Apr 02, 2012 |
Image123:
It's ignorant sarcasm then. And you think it the in-thing to go sarcastic on God? God is not a man. Actually yes, god deserves sarcasm from us. With all the sick jokes he's been playing on us since. |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by Image123(m): 8:04am On Apr 02, 2012 |
^ you deserve to be ignored, seeing you've confirmed in you a high level of foolishness. |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by LogicMind: 8:42am On Apr 02, 2012 |
Image123: ^ you deserve to be ignored, seeing you've confirmed in you a high level of foolishness. another soldier of christ runs off feigning ignorance. |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by Heathen(m): 7:02pm On Apr 02, 2012 |
Image123: ^ you deserve to be ignored, seeing you've confirmed in you a high level of foolishness. ahhhhh.sweet irony! |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by Jack65: 8:02pm On Apr 02, 2012 |
Heathen: ahhhhh.sweet irony! Sweet irony indeed. |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by buzugee(m): 8:04pm On Apr 02, 2012 |
ECCLESIASTES 12 VS 12 much study wearies the body.  |
| Re: Logic Mind Praises The Lord. by Miroslavklose: 10:34pm On Apr 02, 2012 |
Jack65:
Actually yes, god deserves sarcasm from us. With all the sick jokes he's been playing on us since. lol this thread is just a waste of space |
