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I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me - Family (1) - Nairaland

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Husband Cheating / I Caught My Husband In Bed With Underage Girl / I Caught My Wife Cheating: What Do I Do? (1) (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by Fejok01(f): 6:57pm On Apr 04, 2012
Otosdd: I have never for once deniel him of sex even with my pregnancy if he say he want sex 3times a day i stil do it. I dont know where i have gone wrong, or wat i have done wrong 2 make him stoop so low as 2 do wat he did. I am just praying for God 2 give me strenght. I am really hurt.
You have not done anythihg wrong.Pls for your sake & that of the unborn baby +ur parents ,calm down.Be strong for yourself becos if anything happens to you,your dear husband will just move on to the next girl.
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by DualCore1: 7:01pm On Apr 04, 2012
Sorry OP. He's not your BF so you can't be thinking of leaving him... you preggy for him too.

Try to work things out, things won't come back to normal overnight so take things easy and as they come. Don't bother yourself much about what happened in that room because it really wouldn't help.

You should call him to the table and give him a chance to explain. He's your best friend so you should know when he's lying. Assure him you'll appreciate the truth from him however bad it is and please keep to that assurance. If he opens up to you that he actually is cheating on you... don't flare up... talk to him about the need for both of you to seek help from your church, your elders or wherever you two know you can get help from.

He's human and if things are what they seem like, it doesn't make him any less an imperfect human. Some of the married men who have posted on this thread do same, only they haven't been caught yet. Na who dem catch be thief and thief wey dem never catch go follow shout "thief thief".

2 Likes

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by bookface: 7:03pm On Apr 04, 2012
No man who's indeed cheating on his wife would wait 30 minutes before opening the door if his wife shows up. what would he be doing in 30 minutes? wearing his trousers? going for a round two? waiting for the girl to dress up and make up?

If you showed up to my office unannounced and i happen to be busy at that hour, then you must be prepared to wait. would you have assumed you husband was gay if you met a guy in the office in the place of a lady?

i suppose you are probably just hyperventilating unnecessarily and this is further worsened by many nairalanders some of whom already foolishly advised you leave your marriage. . .over what? cos your Husband locked his office door? or cos he locked his door with a lady inside?

Should it even take much common sense to reason that anyone who plans to cheat on you will probably not touch you with his "stick" especially while you are pregnant? why can't people just completely trust their partners, even if dumbly?

3 Likes

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by procedure: 7:04pm On Apr 04, 2012
Next time your husband locks the door with a woman ensure u ask him lovingly and jokingly why he locked it. His answer will be a relieve for u.but dont argue over his answer but rather close it with an okay. If he is cheating u will know. I think u should know lust has nothing to do with sex but men lust after women not sex. So knowing all sex skills doing it ten times will not heal a man with lust. U must pray for him or simply hope he will change. And never fight him but protect ur self by not getting too hurt.

1 Like

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by juce: 7:04pm On Apr 04, 2012
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Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by jidewin(m): 7:05pm On Apr 04, 2012
@poster.....Let it all out here.Your oga was and have always been browsing d girls "website"and u were un-fortunate to have caught him in an enclosed situation. Don't let us deny it.
Now if you want to get him spilling the beans,"pretext"is the key.Act as if you are not suspecting him. in fact,when serving him food,always keep that devilish smile on.Always look him straight in the eyes when chatting and keep your responses short.don't deny him sex,yet take your mind off the fun,just be there but not really there .He too will know and trust me as a man,no matter how sweet the 'outside match 'might seem,we don't want to loose our home or our women.
Even if he has to lie,he will soon confess.
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by max123as: 7:05pm On Apr 04, 2012
I went to my husband's office to see him only for me to find out that the door leading to his office was locked. The security had to call him that the wife is around that he should open the office door for me to come in. It took him 30 minutes for him to open the door only for me to enter the office I met a girl in the office. He has been telling me the girl is just a friend he has nothing to do with her, and that any time he is in the office he likes locking the door. But it's not my firs time of going to the office - the door is always open.
[/color][color=#990000]



madam just try to hear from your husband first before you take any action because your husband might not be doing anything negative as you think...............save your marriage pls
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by bookface: 7:07pm On Apr 04, 2012
jidewin: @poster.....Let it all out here.Your oga was and have always been browsing d girls "website"and u were un-fortunate to have caught him in an enclosed situation. Don't let us deny it.
Now if you want to get him spilling the beans,"pretext"is the key.Act as if you are not suspecting him. in fact,when serving him food,always keep that devilish smile on.Always look him straight in the eyes when chatting and keep your responses short.don't deny him sex,yet take your mind off the fun,just be there but not really there .He too will know and trust me as a man,no matter how sweet the 'outside match 'might seem,we don't want to loose our home or our women.
Even if he has to lie,he will soon confess.

What you are giving her is a tool to bring suspicions and mistrust into her marriage, none of which will help her current situation.
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by Danka7777(m): 7:09pm On Apr 04, 2012
neyostica: @op like debrief will say, divorce his Bottom, and find smtin that makes u hapi, maybe a second husband
A man can cheat on his wife and still go home and be a fabulous father; respects his wife, makes her happy, provides for the kids, does everything that is required of him as a father and as a husband. Most men are like this I can tell you, they only cheat because they want to put in their phallic symbol in a different hole size but also doesn't want emotional connection with this partner or mistress, just flesh satisfaction. After he has done this, he comes back home, guess what? He still loves you and not the woman he is sleeping with.

To the contrary, when a woman cheats, she is giving all her soul and body to this new partner. In most instances, she is in love with this new partner. If this new partner tells her to get rid of you, most likely she will do it. Why? Because when a woman loves, she will do anything and not think about what she is doing until she's hurt. So my point is women who find themselves in this situation often apply women way of thinking or loving to their husband's infidelity. He is cheating so he must have giving his soul and love to this woman. The answer is NO. Men don't think like you women do.

So my advise to you is, since this man is still a good husband and father, don't rush to get rid of him as many here are advising. If you get rid of him, do you think you can find someone else that will take you with your kids and pregnancy? I can tell you, you will not. It may be just a fling thing but his love and soul is still with you and the kids. Many men do this and still come home and love their family and be great fathers and husbands!

3 Likes

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by HighChief4(m): 7:10pm On Apr 04, 2012
@OP Its not hard to know that your husband was chopping her down, so since you have no prove, better luck next time
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by gulfer: 7:11pm On Apr 04, 2012
I have never for once deniel him of sex even with my pregnancy if he say he want sex 3times a day i stil do it. I dont know where i have gone wrong, or wat i have done wrong 2 make him stoop so low as 2 do wat he did. I am just praying for God 2 give me strenght. I am really hurt.
Pele, Sorry. Might be you need to be inventive; it is not just a matter of making yourself available everytime. Spice it up and get him back!
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by Leyelyzo(m): 7:14pm On Apr 04, 2012
neyostica: @op like debrief will say, divorce his Bottom, and find smtin that makes u hapi, maybe a second husband

Listen to yourself, is that an advice? Would you tell your sis to do such?

@OP, as dayokanu said, u cant be so sure something unusual truly happened. Even if you caught them in the act, yes it might not be easy but you still need to act rationally in order to save your marriage.

Moreso, you didnt caught them in the act, even though the circumstance is a gud pointer. Free your mind, calm down and talk this out with your husband maturedly. He sure owns you an explanation. What you need doing is try to believe his explanations for the sake of happy matrimony
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by chidyke77(m): 7:17pm On Apr 04, 2012
Ur husband was actually having s.ex wt her and noting more.
There was a day i caught my boss kissing and manipulation a lady in hs office,he didnt locked the door bt i knocked and opened the door,i apologised and went back. The other time i knocked and he didnt opened immediately bcus he locked it and i later saw a female visitor leaving hs office.
What am saying is that ur husband is cheating on u bt u hv to be calm and wait bcus hs conscience wl be disturbing hm til he apologise.
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by JIGGERNAPPY(m): 7:19pm On Apr 04, 2012
gulfer: Pele, Sorry. Might be you need to be inventive; it is not just a matter of making yourself available everytime. Spice it up and get him back!
[color=][/color][color=#990000][/color][b][/b]gal is not a big deal...calm down 1st, dont make him look suspicious, act as if nuffin happened, den later wen everytin must hav calm down talk 2 him in a cool manner dat u r not a kid dat u knew wat happened dat it shud not repeat itself
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by NEDUIFYY78: 7:21pm On Apr 04, 2012
Otosdd: I went to my husband's office to see him only for me to find out that the door leading to his office was locked. The security had to call him that the wife is around that he should open the office door for me to come in. It took him 30 minutes for him to open the door only for me to enter the office I met a girl in the office. He has been telling me the girl is just a friend he has nothing to do with her, and that any time he is in the office he likes locking the door. But it's not my firs time of going to the office - the door is always open.

Please somebody should advice me on what to do because right now I am going mad. I need mature advice no insult please.
For peace just forgive your husband pls.
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by greedie1(f): 7:22pm On Apr 04, 2012
Madam, things are not always wat dey seem. I ll advice u to calmly nd lovingly ask ur husby why d door was locked, cz there might be a logical reason...... If his answer is vague or unsatisfactory, den u may ve to investigate nd confirm if he is really cheating, den go back to ur drawing board nd find out wt u r doing wrong. Wteva d case, don't ever lose ur cool pls. Pray 4 ur husby nd win him back, dnt quit on him pls
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by ZUBY77(m): 7:24pm On Apr 04, 2012
Why did you go there without calling first ? You think as wife, you have the right to barge in whenever you want. You got what you deserve.
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by buchi4action(m): 7:25pm On Apr 04, 2012
The action you take now will affect your family reputation, for me i will advice you to act as if nothing happen. wait for at least 2 weeks( during this period cook for him a good food, wash his clothes, give him unforgetable sex) then call him for heart to heart talk, ask him why he cheat on you & what other girls do for him you do not, (by these you would find out that the fault is from you) THEN FORGIVE HIM. (you will see him change man) any complain he laid be it your mode of dressing, neatness, nagging etc, should be corrected.

1 Like

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by vizion: 7:27pm On Apr 04, 2012
lady, I Don't know the layout of your husbands office, or his attitude, or how boxed up he his,

but is the no possibility that if he wanted to be intimate with the lady, he would have gone to a hotel or somewhere out of his office??


can you not give another excuse to why he was alone in the office?


Anyways let him know that u would not what him locked up with a lady in a room whether at home or in the office or hotel etc..............

1 Like

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by BarrGene(m): 7:31pm On Apr 04, 2012
@OP: Suspicion of whatever nature is a sin. Please catch him pants down first b4 you start raving.
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by lurkee(f): 7:32pm On Apr 04, 2012
Danka7777:
A man can cheat on his wife and still go home and be a fabulous father; respects his wife, makes her happy, provides for the kids, does everything that is required of him as a father and as a husband. Most men are like this I can tell you, they only cheat because they want to put in their phallic symbol in a different hole size but also doesn't want emotional connection with this partner or mistress, just flesh satisfaction. After he has done this, he comes back home, guess what? He still loves you and not the woman he is sleeping with.

To the contrary, when a woman cheats, she is giving all her soul and body to this new partner. In most instances, she is in love with this new partner. If this new partner tells her to get rid of you, most likely she will do it. Why? Because when a woman loves, she will do anything and not think about what she is doing until she's hurt. So my point is women who find themselves in this situation often apply women way of thinking or loving to their husband's infidelity. He is cheating so he must have giving his soul and love to this woman. The answer is NO. Men don't think like you women do.

So my advise to you is, since this man is still a good husband and father, don't rush to get rid of him as many here are advising. If you get rid of him, do you think you can find someone else that will take you with your kids and pregnancy? I can tell you, you will not. It may be just a fling thing but his love and soul is still with you and the kids. Many men do this and still come home and love their family and be great fathers and husbands!

OMG! shocked Are you for real? The bolded is what useless men tell their wives to manipulate them into staying in horrible marriages. Men get away with a lot only because women let them. A lot of men would not be this calm if the roles were reversed.

@OP I am not even going to try to advice you because I am sure people will come here to give you the "good" advice of talking to him, letting him know you were not happy and continuing with the marriage as if nothing happened. angry

I can only speak for myself in that if my husband thinks he will cheat and get away with it, he has another thing coming. I am talking about deliberate, repetitive acts of cheating and not a one time mistake. Even then, it will take a lot for the marriage to go back to what it was. I am happy that I have been brought up not to depend on any man taking care of me so the whole "Who will take care of you if you leave me" mentality will never be my portion.

If I were you I will ask what happened at work and you should know your husband well enough to tell when he is lying. If he tries to make it your fault and you become the one apologising then you know you have a red flag there.

If someone decides to hide things in a marriage then the other partner has a right to be suspicious. If you have nothing to hide then why lock your door for 30 minutes. Mehn let me leave before the "You don't have any right to talk because you are not married" brigade comes here.

1 Like

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by BarrGene(m): 7:34pm On Apr 04, 2012
ZUBY77: Why did you go there without calling first ? You think as wife, you have the right to barge in whenever you want. You got what you deserve.
Gbam!!! African man.
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by tivta(m): 7:36pm On Apr 04, 2012
My dear clamly ask your hubby what happened. Dont make decisions when you are mad, you may jusu end up hurting yourself.
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by djfalone(m): 7:36pm On Apr 04, 2012
I think you should just take things easy for know..You don't have concrete proof but you don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what's going on between your husband and the lady in question. An aggressive stance is the last thing you should consider, since you're gravid/pregnant. it would only make things worse.
Betrayal of trust cuts deep and is very,very painful. Be prayerful and confide only in people you absolutely trust. channel the strong emotions you now feel into something more constructive/productive. It won't erase the pain , but you'll definitely feel better. All the best.
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by niki6(f): 7:36pm On Apr 04, 2012
if he was innocent he would have explained and cleared up the air by now and not pretend that all is well. Anyway dear jst pray to God to give u d wisdom n guidance on how to proceed.
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by dayokanu(m): 7:37pm On Apr 04, 2012
lurkee:

If someone decides to hide things in a marriage then the other partner has a right to be suspicious. If you have nothing to hide then why lock your door for 30 minutes.

Put yourself in the husbands shoes, Assuming you were cheating and you hear your husband is around, Would it take you 30mins to open the door?

1 Like

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by jidewin(m): 7:37pm On Apr 04, 2012
bookface:

What you are giving her is a tool to bring suspicions and mistrust into her marriage, none of which will help her current situation.
Bro,right now,she does NOT trust the man,and the SUSPICION is very high.
Case sample,I met an ex,exchange pleasantries and contact numbers and as such we were communicating,steady.First wrong move,I didn't share the 'meeting'with my current queen.
Less than 6 weeks of meeting and constant exchange of calls and messages,I got carried away by the past encounter.remembered her birthday,sent her an sms and ended it with her pet name.I forgot to delete from 'sent box' and guess what? Same night my queen needed to use my airtime and curiously,she went to my sent box folder...for 3 days I noticed some changes,but alas within 8 days I couldn't bear it anymore.I knew I'm in the house with my steady woman but she was far from me.Upon my demand to know "what is wrong"her QUIET" response was to show me a copy of my sent message and my ex number with details of ALL the time I had been calling her.Bro,I had to spill the beans as I want peace in my EDEN and want "my woman" back.
If it could work on me,it can work on her hubby. Unless he have no conscience.

5 Likes

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by armyofone(f): 7:41pm On Apr 04, 2012
married nigerian guy ( like we don't known them for their randiness grin) locked a female worker in the office and Dayokanu is
here given us epistlistic theories/scenerios? shocked shocked
by their fruit you shall know them.
pepeye of the same feather flock together and defend each other.

OP, what was the gal reaction? i hope you showed her say office work get level with just the look and ya face.

1 Like

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by kamenah(f): 7:41pm On Apr 04, 2012
Acting right away given ur anger nd disappointment will only worsen d situation.u need to get more to backup ur claims,calm dwn nd act wit maturity.remember,two wrongs neva make a right,trade with caution
Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by Ibyno(m): 7:43pm On Apr 04, 2012
For Naija, if u caught ur man in the Act, u are going, if he still caught u, you are still going

1 Like

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by lurkee(f): 7:45pm On Apr 04, 2012
dayokanu:

Put yourself in the husbands shoes, Assuming you were cheating and you hear your husband is around, Would it take you 30mins to open the door?

Yes because if I came out in 5 mins smelling of someone else he would know immediately. Also I would need to put on my bra, arrange my hair make sure nothing looks suspicious. If I was in a meeting and my husband came to my place of work, I will not let him wait 30 mins without an explanation. From the sounds of it, he was in a meeting with one person so why could he not excuse himself to tell his wife to wait if he was not doing something suspicious in the meeting so serious that it required a locked door.

1 Like

Re: I Caught My Husband Cheating On Me by eherbal(m): 7:48pm On Apr 04, 2012
What's actually killing you is wishing that you actually caught them pants down,than the insinuations and maybe's goin on in your heart right now.let it slide. even if he did it,there's no telling,cause you can't prove it!I'm very sorry bout The situation you find yourself,once again,let it slide,i'm sure that kind of Nonsense won't occur again..best of luck.

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