uchenna got to his favourite eatery where he requested for egusi and pounded yam."meat or fish?" the waitress ask am
"fish for sure!" he replied
"u like head or tail?" she ask again
"tail !" he replied
"u v never bought head before why?"the waitress ask am again


"how do i know if the fish was mad before it was caught?" uchenna replied.







the waitress had her period!

haha

SUTOBOY

Now sutoboy was newly married to ruqaya.their only problem was Suto was bedwetting every night.
this annoyed his wife who threatened anytime he did it again, the marriage was over.
that night was worst! suto's urine was flowing like river nile.now this woke him up.he was scared as he risked loosing his pretty wife. .
soon his wife woke up n ask suto what the matter.suto ask ruqaya "babe, if na u you come dream say lion, tiger vulture n witches all dem dey chase u na wetin u go do?". ..

SUTOBOY PART 2

RUQAYA replied "kai! i will be soooo scared i will shittz all over my body!"

SUTO smiled and said "na the same thing happen to me oo! only say, because i be braveman i nor fit shittz, Na only urine i fit urinate oo! that be why i don wet this bed againooo oo chei!. . .that lion i see for dream was biiiig!"







ruqaya immediately miscarried and lost her eight-month old pregnancy !

na u first start oh?

make ruqaya see this tin wey you post!


u go smell pepper!


u knw say na sm1fabulous wife,ba?

@op, i'm sure u posted all these while in ur inebriated state.
So, i reserve ma comment.
Oponu, first child eja.

sutoboy: na u first start oh?

make ruqaya see this tin wey you post!


u go smell pepper!


u knw say na sm1fabulous wife,ba?

who is sm1fabulous
mtchewww, osi arata marayo.

Ruqaya:
who is sm1fabulous
mtchewww, osi arata marayo.

Ruqaya:
who is sm1fabulous
mtchewww, osi arata marayo.

Then i'm right

COMA
teacher: okon! okon okon nor be u i dey call?
okon:stop the noise eediot. .
teacher:hey okon, na me your science teacher you dey talk to like that?
okon:èediot! no be you teach say herbivores are animals that feed on plants only?
teacher:true now
okon:no be you say goat be herbivore?
teacher: of course
okon:useless teacher! u made me leave my food behind to go n piss only to come back n see goats eat all my fish, n u say goats are herbivores dem be your papa vores!


teacher fell into coma.

THE TREE

ben was a sane and respected man.he woke up one morning n started going mad.he quickly climbed the tree in front of his house.he stayed there for 5 days n was still not coming down.his family brought police, boxers chieves but all to no avail.
they finally brought a pastor.the pastor just did a sign of cross n ben came down.
shocked, everyone asked ben why he came down after the sign of cross?
ben replied "that cross mean say he dey come cut down the tree"

Nice one BG, but I no gbadu de one u used suto and raqu. Why thier names?


from VP's office
Projan

ANUS

after a hard day's work, Policarp went to the bar to cool off and eat something, after several hours ,Policarp finally saw the waiter approaching with his requested fufu and bitter-leaf soup, but was shocked to see the waiter's left thumb dipped in his soup.polycarp boiled up and questioned the waiter,
POLICARP:And what the hell is your thump doing in my soup?
WAITER:oh, sorry i have a sore on my thumb,
POLICARP:go to the hospital then?
WAITER:i was there and the doctor says i must dip it in a hot substance sah!
POLICARPsadwondering), hot substance? why dont you insert your thumb into your anus then? it is even hotter there!
WAITER:but sah, it has been in my anus since morning!, i just removed it.policarp fainted!

WOMEN=TROUBLE

everybody knows that, to get a woman, you need time and money.therefore;

WOMEN=TIME X MONEY equation 1

and we know time is money, therefore substitute money for time in equation 1

WOMEN=MONEY X MONEY equation 2

and we know money is the root of all evil, therefore money =evil, substitute to equation 2

WOMEN=EVIL X EVIL equation 3

evil X evil= trouble

WOMEN =TROUBLE

Prime Minister Hail Thee

BG I dey pity u oooo for dat ur coloured joke. i no follow wen de woman in house will attack u.



from VP's Office
Projan

larride:

Prime Minister Hail Thee

yeah' that why i am the PROFESSOR EMIRITUS

bin bin bin