Nairaland Forum

THE CORONATION
A crown of thorns
'pon his head
A regal robe
all smeared in red
An inscription above
his head that read
"Behold the king..."
and tears were shed
A spear in his side
from which he bled
water and blood
and then he said
"It is finished"
And he was dead¿

On the third day
the stone was rolled away
and the king arose
in the most glorious way

adapted from clemency's APIECE OF THE MASTER orTHE MASTER'S PIECE

Ur effort is commendable but poems are usually not decipherable at first glance.Any good poem requires a bit of hardwork to think it through. I suggest u change the title to something like"triumph crown".U can also delete "it is finished" as well as "the third day" and few others to allow critics to find out what the poem is thematically passing across to ur intended audience.From their response,u will know whether or not u hv done a good job.Well done.

points taken.................thanks..................you can read more of me at www.iclemency.blogspot.com