I came across this article and find it useful. Ladies take time to digest.


We live in a politically correct world right? In other words, it doesn’t matter how soon you sleep with a man, right? Wrong.

But, not for the reasons you think. Not because men have double standards. But for your happiness and relationship success.

Men will ‘categorize’ women in to either one of two categories, whether we like it or not. They still do it. You are either a ‘just for a good time’ girl, or wife material. This doesn’t mean that men are right, or that this is a good way or categorizing women; it’s just what commonly happens, on a surface level, and you need to be aware of it.

Pre-framing your relationship with a Man
And, the sooner you sleep with a man without building ATTRACTION first, the harder it is going to be to develop a committed relationship with him. Why? Because the beginning stages of a relationship or courtship are when the FUTURE of a relationship is pre-framed.

What I mean is; if you sleep with a man early, it’s highly likely that he will only see you as someone he sleeps with, not someone he marries; and he might be more likely to keep expecting that. When it’s done, it’s hard to change the original ‘terms’ you created for the relationship at the start. There’s a reason for this, and it has to do with how men are built; how their brains are wired, but I won’t go in to that stuff here.

Is this fair? Not at all. It’s downright painful at times, for a woman to be in this position, or to make such a move and then find herself in a position she never intended to be in, but it’s how it is.

I don’t believe in holding back sex out of fear that he will run. That decision is coming from the totally wrong place. And more importantly, I don’t believe in feeling guilty over sleeping with a man too early. Neither of these two things are in the least bit relevant, or useful in your life. We’re aiming for happiness and passion in your love life, not feelings of guilt or just becoming overly controlling about what the “right” decision is.

So what is best for you as a woman, is to start off with awareness of how men think in this area, and then make the right decisions for your own life, through true awareness.

When it comes to men and your choice of when to sleep with a man, you need to be aware of only these two important things:

1) Men want to have sex, but they actually NEED is to feel attraction. That is what they are looking for, underneath the many cries for sex, sex, sex.

So, sex is rarely what they really want. As a woman, its your job to remember that, for your own happiness, and not expect men to tell you that.

Because too many women do not know this, and then they don’t know what else to give a man, so they feel pressured to have sex with him (which they do), and then the man leaves, which is very hurtful the day after, when you are left feeling used.

2) If there is not enough attraction between you and a man, he will be more likely to push for sex, and with much more urgency.

If you want to be a High Value, High Status woman, you need to realize that if you are not focusing on building attraction with men, you will find yourself having slept with men, but most of them would have run; only because there was not enough attraction.

Is the Question: How Soon is too soon to sleep with a man?
To be frank: the question is not WHEN should you sleep with a man, or how SOON is too soon to sleep with a man. The question is: how much attraction is there between you and the man that you are dating?

That’s the simple secret to men: Attraction. It’s not sex. After all, if it was sex, why would men actually turn DOWN offers of sex from hookers? I was recently in Singapore, and mistakenly ended up in a hotel in the red light district after a mistake in booking a hotel (a long story) and to my dismay, for the two nights I was there, every morning and evening I would look out the window, and witness many young women approaching men with offers of sex (at a price of course), and a majority of men turned down the offers for sex.

Most single men can afford a night with a hooker, especially in parts of Asia where I was, yet I personally witnessed one man after another, turning young women’s offers for sex away.

Men must just want sex, right?

No.

Men want to feel attraction.

What if YOU want casual sex with a man?
So, what if YOU just want to sleep with a man, you ask? Well, that’s up to you. That’s your decision. Perhaps, if you have already decided that a man is not marriage material, that you want to just have casual sex with him. That’s your choice. But you DO have to be aware that, even though this might seem safe and convenient, what you are doing, effectively, is tarnishing your own ‘associations’ with sex by settling for what’s comfortable and convenient at the time. A 5/10 experience.

At our core, what we want, is not just some sex, or just a good time. We want something deeper, something infinitely passionate, something that makes us feel alive. The longer you go with just a sex friend, rather than opening your heart and being vulnerable to the right man, and the longer you have sex with someone you are NOT passionate about and would NOT die for, the more you imprint associations in to your brain of mediocre, ‘ok’, experiences, and that in turn effects the energy that you put out in to the world, to another man who may be worth spending the rest of your life with.

So what is the solution?
This is the solution: keep your focus where it benefits you and your future relationship the most: focus on creating attraction with men. Then, everything else will fall in place naturally, and it will all feel ‘right’ to you.

Become that woman who is irresistibly attractive, playful, fun and fascinating, so that men are more interested in committing themselves to you than just having sex with you.

The situation is right when a man is compelled to keep contacting you even when you haven’t had sex.

And this is ESPECIALLY true for a man whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Attraction is the truly valuable experience that a man wants, not just sex. If you want to become an expert at doing that with men, join Attraction Control Monthly.

Attraction and passion FIRST; then sex. Once there is enough attraction, sex will happen at the right time completely NATURALLY, without you having to beat yourself up with guilt over ‘sleeping with him too soon’ or laying awake at night wondering when is the ‘right’ time. It’s for your own future and benefit.

And when you prioritize the feelings of Attraction between you and a man, you let the tension build up slowly, and everything will be a much better experience for both of you.

Now over to you: what are your thoughts on sex with men? How soon is too soon and what recommendations do you have for other women who are unsure about when they should and shouldn’t have sex with a man?

OP, your post na epistle na. However as to de topic, I know that I have always repected women who I meet and take to bed imediately after buying them food or a drink or whatever they want to waste my time with.

As soon as you feel ready to sleep with him RIGHT BACK!
It is a woman's world too.
Don't allow 'em BUSH PEEPS to deceive ya!

Between 12:34pm and 12:35pm

PS: the "Monika" above mine is one of kanwuliajara's many many alts. What a weird person

Nmeri17:
Between 12:34pm and 12:35pm

PS: the "Monika" above mine is one of kanwuliajara's many many alts. What a weird person

So? That was from over 2 years ago!
What is ya point?

Only when you are legitimately married to that man or if you are a man, to that woman ... never outside marriage because it is sinful and damns the soul in hell fire, Also, never with a fellow man or fellow woman (homosexuality, sodomy or lesbianism), not with an animal (bestiality) or with self (masturbation)!

Na Aminat508 fit answer dis one



Lalasticlala and Ishilove come help us out

DivineR:
I came across this article and find it useful. Ladies take time to digest.


We live in a politically correct world right? In other words, it doesn’t matter how soon you sleep with a man, right? Wrong.

But, not for the reasons you think. Not because men have double standards. But for your happiness and relationship success.

Men will ‘categorize’ women in to either one of two categories, whether we like it or not. They still do it. You are either a ‘just for a good time’ girl, or wife material. This doesn’t mean that men are right, or that this is a good way or categorizing women; it’s just what commonly happens, on a surface level, and you need to be aware of it.

Pre-framing your relationship with a Man
And, the sooner you sleep with a man without building ATTRACTION first, the harder it is going to be to develop a committed relationship with him. Why? Because the beginning stages of a relationship or courtship are when the FUTURE of a relationship is pre-framed.

What I mean is; if you sleep with a man early, it’s highly likely that he will only see you as someone he sleeps with, not someone he marries; and he might be more likely to keep expecting that. When it’s done, it’s hard to change the original ‘terms’ you created for the relationship at the start. There’s a reason for this, and it has to do with how men are built; how their brains are wired, but I won’t go in to that stuff here.

Is this fair? Not at all. It’s downright painful at times, for a woman to be in this position, or to make such a move and then find herself in a position she never intended to be in, but it’s how it is.

I don’t believe in holding back sex out of fear that he will run. That decision is coming from the totally wrong place. And more importantly, I don’t believe in feeling guilty over sleeping with a man too early. Neither of these two things are in the least bit relevant, or useful in your life. We’re aiming for happiness and passion in your love life, not feelings of guilt or just becoming overly controlling about what the “right” decision is.

So what is best for you as a woman, is to start off with awareness of how men think in this area, and then make the right decisions for your own life, through true awareness.

When it comes to men and your choice of when to sleep with a man, you need to be aware of only these two important things:

1) Men want to have sex, but they actually NEED is to feel attraction. That is what they are looking for, underneath the many cries for sex, sex, sex.

So, sex is rarely what they really want. As a woman, its your job to remember that, for your own happiness, and not expect men to tell you that.

Because too many women do not know this, and then they don’t know what else to give a man, so they feel pressured to have sex with him (which they do), and then the man leaves, which is very hurtful the day after, when you are left feeling used.

2) If there is not enough attraction between you and a man, he will be more likely to push for sex, and with much more urgency.

If you want to be a High Value, High Status woman, you need to realize that if you are not focusing on building attraction with men, you will find yourself having slept with men, but most of them would have run; only because there was not enough attraction.

Is the Question: How Soon is too soon to sleep with a man?
To be frank: the question is not WHEN should you sleep with a man, or how SOON is too soon to sleep with a man. The question is: how much attraction is there between you and the man that you are dating?

That’s the simple secret to men: Attraction. It’s not sex. After all, if it was sex, why would men actually turn DOWN offers of sex from hookers? I was recently in Singapore, and mistakenly ended up in a hotel in the red light district after a mistake in booking a hotel (a long story) and to my dismay, for the two nights I was there, every morning and evening I would look out the window, and witness many young women approaching men with offers of sex (at a price of course), and a majority of men turned down the offers for sex.

Most single men can afford a night with a hooker, especially in parts of Asia where I was, yet I personally witnessed one man after another, turning young women’s offers for sex away.

Men must just want sex, right?

No.

Men want to feel attraction.

What if YOU want casual sex with a man?
So, what if YOU just want to sleep with a man, you ask? Well, that’s up to you. That’s your decision. Perhaps, if you have already decided that a man is not marriage material, that you want to just have casual sex with him. That’s your choice. But you DO have to be aware that, even though this might seem safe and convenient, what you are doing, effectively, is tarnishing your own ‘associations’ with sex by settling for what’s comfortable and convenient at the time. A 5/10 experience.

At our core, what we want, is not just some sex, or just a good time. We want something deeper, something infinitely passionate, something that makes us feel alive. The longer you go with just a sex friend, rather than opening your heart and being vulnerable to the right man, and the longer you have sex with someone you are NOT passionate about and would NOT die for, the more you imprint associations in to your brain of mediocre, ‘ok’, experiences, and that in turn effects the energy that you put out in to the world, to another man who may be worth spending the rest of your life with.

So what is the solution?
This is the solution: keep your focus where it benefits you and your future relationship the most: focus on creating attraction with men. Then, everything else will fall in place naturally, and it will all feel ‘right’ to you.

Become that woman who is irresistibly attractive, playful, fun and fascinating, so that men are more interested in committing themselves to you than just having sex with you.

The situation is right when a man is compelled to keep contacting you even when you haven’t had sex.

And this is ESPECIALLY true for a man whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Attraction is the truly valuable experience that a man wants, not just sex. If you want to become an expert at doing that with men, join Attraction Control Monthly.

Attraction and passion FIRST; then sex. Once there is enough attraction, sex will happen at the right time completely NATURALLY, without you having to beat yourself up with guilt over ‘sleeping with him too soon’ or laying awake at night wondering when is the ‘right’ time. It’s for your own future and benefit.

And when you prioritize the feelings of Attraction between you and a man, you let the tension build up slowly, and everything will be a much better experience for both of you.

Now over to you: what are your thoughts on sex with men? How soon is too soon and what recommendations do you have for other women who are unsure about when they should and shouldn’t have sex with a man?

"It is what it is."

.

Seek Ye First The Kingdom Of God And All Other Things Shall Be Added Unto You.
I Just Say Make I Remind You Guys; My Fellow Nairalanders

the patient dog eat the fattest bone with some pieces of let over bunch of meat which the owner can no longer seprate from the bone.


so y nt w8 until after you both are legally married?

i just say make i ask

Very interesting and educative article which is a practical guide to the modern dating/courting world.

My reaction was to naturally say after marriage (before reading the article ).

bukatyne:
Very interesting and educative article which is a practical guide to the modern dating/courting world.

My reaction was to naturally say after marriage (before reading the article ).

and how is it now(after reading the article)?