Theblessed: [size=16pt][b]Why??

Could it be - illhealth, laziness, lack of confidence, unemployment, poverty, irresponsibility, fear of women (Womanphobia - and in the case of a woman, Manphobia - hey, my construct, please!!!) or other.

Typically, unlike other cultures, Nigerian men don't usually get married early in life, why?

Some say, they want to make reasonable investments/achievements before settling down, really? And, how many do actually, make it?

Obviously, in some cultures, men starts to think about the idea to get married between the ages of 16 (with consent)- 25 and some actually do get marry within that age group however, average Nigerian man might not consider this idea until as late as 30 - 50 year of age and some are still living at home with parents and have no abode of their own yet, they are still waiting to put down some investments.

If that is the case, why portray single Nigerian women as "SALE BY DATE" by certain age 25 - 30+, when you're all still living at home and waiting to put down those investments?

Adding to this, are all manner of pressure and derogatory name callings piled upon a single Nigerian woman when their men, are yet to rise to the challenge of whisking them away - this is unfair and unjust!

Like single Nigerian women, isn't it time, unmarried Nigerian men are put on the spot-light to get married young before those legs becomes stiff and unable to play football with their young children in the backgarden.

I leave you to work that out

But before then, may I suggest that Nigerian society, look deeper into itself before, blaming the single woman - for it is writen that "a man must leave his mother and father and cling unto his wife so that both can become one body". You see, it is for a man and not a woman to leave the nest...!!

Certainly, most religions and cultures of this world share this value/ethos therefore, you unmarried blokes out there - what are you waiting for, in whisking away single and beautiful Nigerian ladies?

If you can not explain this fact, then start now in your own small ways to re-educate/change our society's thinking on these issues.[/b][/size]

bennyraz: your thread is really amusing you really want Nigerian single men to be put on the spotlight Whoa! You want a Nigerian man to whisk away single women who lack morales on how to make a good home. Interesting. There's one known fact, lets not deceive ourselves, good and homely girls get husbands before age 26.. Men will flock around them because they know that they are wife material. If any woman is looking for husband and no man is show signs of marrying her, she aint a wife material You get it right. If you are looking for husband and you don't do re-branding, re-packaging, re-orientation about whom you are as a lady you can't get any man to propose to you. No be curse. Your focus should be what are the traits a man is looking for in a woman to make her his wife? If it is money, they are alot rich guys out there without no GF's /wife. They are looking for a woman they can call wife. A home maker.

harakiri: @Poster

First of all, your thread is misleading. It's not a "Nigerian men" thing. It's a global trend and it's much worse overseas. At least in Nigeria, most men do their best to get married before the age of 40. Out there, you'll see countless men who are way past 45yrs and the idea of being married barely occurs to them and the reasons aren't far fetched : NO ONE WANTS TO GET RIPPED APART IN DIVORCE SETTLEMENTS THAT ARE OBVIOUSLY TAILORED TO WORK AGAINST THE MAN FROM DAY ONE! Back to the issue, a lot of Nigerian are marriage inclined.

Second, there is a lot of joblessness in the land (like someone rightfully said before). Would you advice your lady friends to get hitched with a guy who has no job? Aren't you one of the feminazis' that beguile women who get married to jobless or less "affluent" men? And you are here talking. This is the same crass hypocrisy i keep talking about. The jobless men are trying to save women from the agony of hardship and you are here talking rubbish. If such men get married with their poor status, you'll be a forerunner in the bandwagon deriding that man. Hypocrite!

Third,Marriage isn't what it used to be anymore. In the days of our forefathers, it was all about a man providing for the family while the woman runs the home-front. Today, with education and "westernization",marriage is much more complex and fragile. Back in the day, it was all about mutual understanding and their marriages lasted. Today, there must be "love" (Whatever that is),understanding,"equality of the $exes",feminism and all sorts of hogwash that is the bane of today's ever skyrocketing divorce rates. Marriage is no longer as attractive as it used to be. Men no longer look at marriage with the same enthusiasm as they used. Most who marry do so out of societal and age pressure NOT "love".

Fourth, With all the "women empowerment", "down with men bandwagons" and "a man must be under your foot" education that is being used to brainwash women these days, Men have seen the wisdom of holding on to their single status for as long as they can coz they know that the moment they sign away their freedom via legal documents, it's all over. In no time, the woman will turn him into a living vegetable and the man will be forced to put up with all sorts of nonsense all in the name of "making the marriage work".

Nuff said!

Crap excuses that's all I'm getting here!

I am tired of hearing unemployement/joblessness as part of the reason for a grown man leaving marriage and fatherhood till his late 30's. If it was so, why not create a job for yourself and others or collaborate with others and create work and make a living for yourselves?

Do I have to list the strategy upon which to achieve that? Pull your resources together and do anything for work - pack shit, work in the farm, cut and harvest palm fruits, cocoa, tea, groundnuts, palm oil/kernel, kola etc just as our forefather's did to survive instead of idling away in the cities, sitting your bottom one place and waiting for an opportunity for a white collar job - a curse of the Black Diamond.

Because of this, our young men have become lazy in thinking creatively.

As for those blaming divorce rate in the West as a reason for men not getting married early there, can we check what the divorce statistics is, in Nigeria or Africa as a whole? How many women have divorced their husbands since Nigerian Independence as compared to the West, name it?

Of course, this argument would not hold without modern Nigerian girls character being questioned and scrutinized? I hear many of you refer to the characters of our mothers/grandmothers as perfect models for men seeking quality homemakers and I'm asking what changed our women then and who changed them?

The answer is obvious - Yooooooou!!! Your stiffling cultures and traditions led to your women seeking escape and you aid them! How?

When you and your family see your daughters, sisters, nieces being maltreated at their husband's homes, left unkept and for the dead whilst their husband's are busy chasing young women that calls for a reaction and that reaction is usually, via armying their daughters/sister with the ammunition (via education, financial support, Business, Trade etc)to strike for independence and sustain themselves either independently or in their husbands homes.

However, it is a different case for a modern Nigerian women, she would not stop at that and like our men she's going for Gold - she want more and expect the best from the men she's dating hence the difficulty you're having competiting for her hence the attitude to find the right guy that would provide comfortable lifestyle for her and what's wrong with that?

As you can see, na part of una trouble be that, by treating women badly - Nigerian men created the monster that came to haunt them and now they're hallaring, for who?

Well, I leave una to continue with una blames until the cows come home maybe, it will be too late to play that football with your children in the back garden

2sexy: OP are you married?

harakiri:
@Theblessed]



Really?



Create jobs how? Create jobs from what? Perhaps you should give ideas how a penniless jobless man can "create" employment out of thin air. From your post, you are obviously not in touch with reality and you are quoting the same jargon the govt folks use when they want to shift responsibility from themselves.




Pull which resources together? There are people who have NOTHING to use as leverage. Once again, you are obviously not in touch with reality. Do anything for work? Pack $hit abi? When last did you see a "$hit packer"? How much do you think farm workers get paid? It's barely enough to feed for a day so when and how can he save for marriage? You are obviously one dumb a$$ bimbo that has no idea what the real world is like.



The "laziest" Nigerian man has more positive innovative ideas than the average white boy on the streets of New York.




Nonsense!!!



More Nonsense!!!



Sniffling cultures? Good heavens!!!

.

I can't bother myself replying rubbish.

Theblessed:
[size=16pt][b] Crap excuses that's all I'm getting here!

I am tired of hearing unemployement/joblessness as part of the reason for a grown man leaving marriage and fatherhood till his late 30's. If it was so, why not create a job for yourself and others or collaborate with others and create work and make a living for yourselves?

Do I have to list the strategy upon which to achieve that? Pull your resources together and do anything for work - pack shit, work in the farm, cut and harvest palm fruits, cocoa, tea, groundnuts, palm oil/kernel, kola etc just as our forefather's did to survive instead of idling away in the cities, sitting your bottom one place and waiting for an opportunity for a white collar job - a curse of the Black Diamond.

Because of this, our young men have become lazy in thinking creatively.


As for those blaming divorce rate in the West as a reason for men not getting married early there, can we check what the divorce statistics is, in Nigeria or Africa as a whole? How many women have divorced their husbands since Nigerian Independence as compared to the West, name it?

Of course, this argument would not hold without modern Nigerian girls character being questioned and scrutinized? I hear many of you refer to the characters of our mothers/grandmothers as perfect models for men seeking quality homemakers and I'm asking what changed our women then and who changed them?

The answer is obvious - Yooooooou!!! Your stiffling cultures and traditions led to your women seeking escape and you aid them! How?

When you and your family see your daughters, sisters, nieces being maltreated at their husband's homes, left unkept and for the dead whilst their husband's are busy chasing young women that calls for a reaction and that reaction is usually, via armying their daughters/sister with the ammunition (via education, financial support, Business, Trade etc)to strike for independence and sustain themselves either independently or in their husbands homes.

However, it is a different case for a modern Nigerian women, she would not stop at that and like our men she's going for Gold - she want more and expect the best from the men she's dating hence the difficulty you're having competiting for her hence the attitude to find the right guy that would provide comfortable lifestyle for her and what's wrong with that?

As you can see, na part of una trouble be that, by treating women badly - Nigerian men created the monster that came to haunt them and now they're hallaring, for who?

Well, I leave una to continue with una blames until the cows come home maybe, it will be too late to play that football with your children in the back garden.[/b][/size]

harakiri:
@Theblessed]



Really?



Create jobs how? Create jobs from what? Perhaps you should give ideas how a penniless jobless man can "create" employment out of thin air. From your post, you are obviously not in touch with reality and you are quoting the same jargon the govt folks use when they want to shift responsibility from themselves.




Pull which resources together? There are people who have NOTHING to use as leverage. Once again, you are obviously not in touch with reality. Do anything for work? Pack $hit abi? When last did you see a "$hit packer"? How much do you think farm workers get paid? It's barely enough to feed for a day so when and how can he save for marriage? You are obviously one dumb a$$ bimbo that has no idea what the real world is like.



The "laziest" Nigerian man has more positive innovative ideas than the average white boy on the streets of New York.




Nonsense!!!



More Nonsense!!!



Sniffling cultures? Good heavens!!!

.

I can't bother myself replying rubbish.

bernardette:
....seriously, aside being a female...the lady is right, there is no point in what u are dragging with her, and whatever she has stated, are for you to get the true fact in them...I am afraid most of you with this mindset of 'NO JOB, so I can't marry' may evn end up loosing the real wife materials...and when you have acquired all you want to, a gold digger comes forward, when she sees you are desperate for a wife...create job urself...u complain about from what resources?...that's why u are a man...mingle with like minds...u are here complaining and some young men are making it...from which resources could that have been as well...its time you think well,nt jst deeply, Nigerian young men...even the bible said...don't miss. Your chance to marry a good woman...she is your main source of success...its time you divert your mindset from what the economy can offer you....or else you lament for ever, poverty is a choice.....read my signature below

skywalker240:

to some extent u ar right, but u also hav 2 tk this in mind, that u ladies always go 4 d so called best(made men)
be sincere, wil u ever pay attention to a shit parker?
80% ladies fault, and 20% guys

bernardette:
if we continue to blame one gender or the other, solution ll never surface...a female like myself, you dnt have to own a mansion b4 you could win my love...a man, who can use his head to make life good for himself, and is ready to step out of the "shit parker" you mentioned...with my assistance, he ll step out..not a man who stays in the city flexing with friends, crying NO JOB..and wake up one day, all he can tell you is that I am not ready for marriage, even at 35yrs of age, I ll ask him, what have you been doing from 25yrs of age?..tell me why I wont move on to a better man...

bernardette:
if we continue to blame one gender or the other, solution ll never surface...a female like myself, you dnt have to own a mansion b4 you could win my love...a man, who can use his head to make life good for himself, and is ready to step out of the "shit parker" you mentioned...with my assistance, he ll step out..not a man who stays in the city flexing with friends, crying NO JOB..and wake up one day, all he can tell you is that I am not ready for marriage, even at 35yrs of age, I ll ask him, what have you been doing from 25yrs of age?..tell me why I wont move on to a better man...most of our young bachelors of 2day, shld stop being lazy..plan for a family early..with that mentality..u ll knw a lot is at ur fore front that you must work on..its nt bad if a man starts his plan on what tto settle down with at age 21..b4 he is 30..and with the help of rich minded ppl, he ll get somwhere..and there won't be crisis, from fiancee, and also their parents xpects more from them as well..dnt wait for a secured job somewhere to determine how you run ur life..cos mostly that's the main issue..

SIRTee15:


Forget it, it's money factor.
If guys achieve economic stability early in life, majority will get married on time.
Look here, marriage no be joke........ and as a man, if u're not financially ready to meet it's demand......
OYO for u
Ur wife will not even respect u......
And there's little u can do if she start cheating on u..... SIRtee, you are still going backward...economy economy....stop blaming economy, and do something about the economy, let a man plan himself early in life, and see if he won't succeed despite economy palava...andd let him put it all in God's hands...God bless your hustle...read my signature
Come Lagos..... and see the rate married women cheats..... they don't even hide it again.
My sister, economy is not pleasant and this is putting a lot of strain on guys to start a family.
Except u just want to do the I don't care family style...... Dey born dey go.... God will watch over them.

It's not only a Nigerian problem.
It's endemic among educated young men in emerging economies.......
Egypt, India, Pakistan, China, Mexico, Indonesia......
Al jazeera even did a documentary about the issue one time like that.....
Eligible bachelors who desire to start a family but keep pushing it forward due to lack of financial independence in developing nations.

Theblessed:
[size=16pt][b] Crap excuses that's all I'm getting here!

I am tired of hearing unemployement/joblessness as part of the reason for a grown man leaving marriage and fatherhood till his late 30's. If it was so, why not create a job for yourself and others or collaborate with others and create work and make a living for yourselves?

Do I have to list the strategy upon which to achieve that? Pull your resources together and do anything for work - pack shit, work in the farm, cut and harvest palm fruits, cocoa, tea, groundnuts, palm oil/kernel, kola etc just as our forefather's did to survive instead of idling away in the cities, sitting your bottom one place and waiting for an opportunity for a white collar job - a curse of the Black Diamond.

Because of this, our young men have become lazy in thinking creatively.


As for those blaming divorce rate in the West as a reason for men not getting married early there, can we check what the divorce statistics is, in Nigeria or Africa as a whole? How many women have divorced their husbands since Nigerian Independence as compared to the West, name it?

Of course, this argument would not hold without modern Nigerian girls character being questioned and scrutinized? I hear many of you refer to the characters of our mothers/grandmothers as perfect models for men seeking quality homemakers and I'm asking what changed our women then and who changed them?

The answer is obvious - Yooooooou!!! Your stiffling cultures and traditions led to your women seeking escape and you aid them! How?

When you and your family see your daughters, sisters, nieces being maltreated at their husband's homes, left unkept and for the dead whilst their husband's are busy chasing young women that calls for a reaction and that reaction is usually, via armying their daughters/sister with the ammunition (via education, financial support, Business, Trade etc)to strike for independence and sustain themselves either independently or in their husbands homes.

However, it is a different case for a modern Nigerian women, she would not stop at that and like our men she's going for Gold - she want more and expect the best from the men she's dating hence the difficulty you're having competiting for her hence the attitude to find the right guy that would provide comfortable lifestyle for her and what's wrong with that?

As you can see, na part of una trouble be that, by treating women badly - Nigerian men created the monster that came to haunt them and now they're hallaring, for who?

Well, I leave una to continue with una blames until the cows come home maybe, it will be too late to play that football with your children in the back garden.[/b][/size]

Jameskyle:
Most of us are not done With the sweet yummy tight young growing virgins dammit.... U don't know Wat u missing after getting married and sticking to one partner for life