shadex you dont know how true ur post is!

i actually had a bestfriend who was a guy an after a friendship of almost14yrs he goes and destroys it by asking me out. i felt sooooo bad as i didnt see him in that light at all and the friendship just wasnt the same even though he tried to go back to being how it was before he opened his big mouth.

so i think u should just tell your friend to talk with his girlfriend they should reach a compromise her best friend should be her boyfriend and she should cut down on the excessive closness with best friend.

well, according to ur claims, she knew the Guy b4 ur friend, well, it's really unfortunate that in the name of love ur friend endangered his emotions by venturing into the 'activity' LOVE. It's really hard for him to fight back because:

* if he fights, to people around he will look like a fool
* if he fights, he wants to take it by force
* if he fights, he may loose the girl
* if he fights, he will his own emotions
*if he fights, ,

well, he should know that 'what is his own will not pass him by'. if they meant to be together, they will surely be. taking it by force will not solve it. he needs not to be afraid of loosing her.

johunojuri:

well, he should know that 'what is his own will not pass him by'. if they meant to be together, they will surely be. taking it by force will not solve it. he needs not to be afraid of loosing her.

When i was younger, I use to believe your theory but now i know better, I know that since the begining, taking it by force has been the formular for securing oppotunities.
I wouldnt pass your advise

@All
Thanks.

i would not like to be in such a shoe because it cud be dangerous,i don't like the idea one bit,its either our friend sticks with it or he quits the relationship.i believe he will handle it with utmost maturity.all the best.

But come to think of it.
Are we sure the poster is not the main guy?
Poster pls tell us the truth.
At least you can confide in ur fellow nairalanders

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leave the best friend alone. Sooner or later you're going to dump her and she will need someone to comfort her.


[color=#550000][/color]While a greater part of me agrees with Seun as quoted here but thenlike another nairalander said, i don't think i like the idea of her spending the night in his house, i mean even best friends have chemistry between them. but then again it could be platonic, y don't u talk to her abt it, let her keep her best friend but stop sleeping over at his house after all she has u. Yes he was there b4 u n she told u about him n i agree that she shd have a life outside u. Do u even trust her? maybe they grew up together, Tell her ur fears and please trust her because really, u ain't married yet and she has a right to be with whoever she chooses especially her best friend even if he's male.

chychy:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leave the best friend alone. Sooner or later you're going to dump her and she will need someone to comfort her.


[color=#550000][/color]While a greater part of me agrees with Seun as quoted here but thenlike another nairalander said, i don't think i like the idea of her spending the night in his house, i mean even best friends have chemistry between them. but then again it could be platonic, y don't u talk to her about it, let her keep her best friend but stop sleeping over at his house after all she has u. Yes he was there before u n she told u about him n i agree that she should have a life outside u. Do u even trust her? maybe they grew up together, Tell her your fears and please trust her because really, u ain't married yet and she has a right to be with whoever she chooses especially her best friend even if he's male.

@poster does the gurl sleep overnight in ur friends house? also does he trust her? if no there's a problem then,

she atleast told you about him before you came on board,so why the beef now?dear me,it depends on what you are looking for from the affair.if its just for fun ,then pls the best friend is handy here,at least to comfort her when you are gone.but if you want her for keeps,then work your way to her heart.that way she would not need her BEST FRIEND any longer.you authomatically becomes her best friend.

but their closeness na waoh.sleeping over at the family house?it looks spooky to me.simply too close for comfort anyway.goodluck !

a very important question is to know if your friend is always there for her if so then i do not see the need of another male best friend in her life when the one she claims to love is supposed to be her only best friend. there is an attraction for the best friend which she did not see in him and this is why she is still going back to him to the extent of your friend complaining for all i know it is not normal for her to still be too close to her supposed best friend

You will notice most people are closer to their friends than d boyfriend or girlfriend, cos they know what they both share together in dat friendship, ok maie I go to the point

You already know she had a guy as a best friend, yeah jealousy is natural, bbut there's nothing u can do about it, one thing u can do is be close to d guy as well, make him a good friend of urs, and true ur girlfriend, I don't know if u know how long both of dem have been friends, u don't want to ruin along term friendship all because of ur jealousy, so talk to ur girlfriend

its important the girl puts the bestfriend and the boyfriend in thier right positions and the bestfriend too should give the relationship some breathing space.
my closest friend now is of the opposote sex but i always try to reduce the closeness so that it does not affect any other person that wants to get into a relationship with me and the guy too is ready to back off to allow me have a good relationship without any reason for jealousy or infidelity.
pls the girl should look into the matter and see if she can stand what she is putting up to the guy if he has a female bestfriend too.
jealousy is natural in relationships its not always a question of insecurity

let's be factual here, its kinda hard 4 2 opposite sex to b 2geda witout shit happenin. nyway sha 4 mi i dnt blame ur frnd because dis days d moment u get ur gurl angry, u outta twn or u outta reach,she goes 2 her male frnd 4 comfort n u knw "shit happens". 4 mi i believe 2 handle dis kind of situation in gettin urself a female frnd n hang-out wit her lik ur gf is hangin out wit her frnd n u c how she reacts,becos if u confront her she wld round it up dat u dnt wnt to c her close to a male,,,,,,,, my broda do shit b4 d next wrd u hear is shits happens

I feel very sorry for your friend. Since it was made known to him at first he would have read between the lines. What the girl was telling him in the first place was that I have a "boy firend" ooo but I will use you as backup battery and your friend agreed. Understood, he felt he could turn things the other way round. I mean, take away the best friend status from the other guy but right now its not working hence the "JEALOUSY". I have hard this experience before but just that the friend came in after our relationship had started. I can put my money on it if your girl friend sleeps in his house she is obviously sleeping with him. There are two options here. It is either you DUMP HER and move on with your life quickly or LIVE WITH IT. The choice is yours. There is obviously pain since you have your emotions involved but you just have to go about it strategically. Hide nothing from her. Speak your mind and say it as it is. You really have nothing to loose bro.

@poster & everyone

this is the conclusion of the matter. . . .and i am going to be frank sighting a case . . .
i dont blame this guy for being jealous . . .common try putting urself in this guys shoes . . how would u feel if ur bf told u his best friend is a she and he feels so free to crash at her crib . . . sooner or later something is bound to happen . . . its kool to have the opposite sex as friends but not as best of friends . . . .common this guy who is this babes best friend will surely have the hots for her consiously or sub-consciously . . .if given the the chance to prack/strap/bone this chic . .walahi he will do it with all the pleasure . . .and in a situation where they are become intimate . . .i can assure u that its goona be there best kept secret . . . honestly,this is from xperience . . they will do it . . . .enjoy it . . . then feel bad . . . make up . . promise not to do so again . . .the moment they touch . . . they do it again . . . and it just keeps going on and on . . . .word

lets stop playing around . . . we humans remember . . . "body no be firewood"

your friend should call his girl and let them talk it over.Is she aware of his feelings?There should be a line between friendship and relationship.U are the man and the other guy is a friend, so u should call her to order, unless there is something she's not telling you.

Truth is the 'friend' is where the babe's heart is, period.
The reason she is stiil with u is probably the 'friend' has not said what she wants to hear, if the 'friend' proposes to her today, you are a goner. She tells you he is a friend because that's the person she really trusts and cherishes.
Be wise brother, bow out while your heart is still intact.

@Poster, Does this[b] "Best Friend"[/b] have a girl friend?

If the answer is NO, then your supposed "girl friend" is[b] his [/b]

does it really matter if 'best friends' share there good stuff like sex 2gether?
common, if you really want to continue or have a plan for the babe, then tell her to stop all that or leave you. because what you cherish most could be a play ground 4 someone else. your babe na your investment, all the time, thinking, recharge card, calling and gifts are all investment so take a stand and free yourself from this shit.


think about.

You see i am not surprise about what the guy said, you see i am not so much into some of this friendship issue but from the stories and films i have heard and watched, i see things like this happening and i continue to wonder how the boyfriend can cope with the other guy, but its sincerely not that easy,

I finally took my self as example, a friend of mine Jennifer is very close to me and her boy friend from what i noticed, whenever i'm with her talking and we laugh the guy is never comfortable, So do you know the skill i used, because i actually like that girl, my usually self i had to do my work with the girl much closer and the guy sometimes will want to leave and go away, i did this for quit sometime and it was like fun to me (thou with seriuos cares, yah because i hate to see Jennifer unhappy, i care for her like my self), but finally i had to play my developed skill to avoid any misunderstanding, so i had to call the guy on several occasions out so we can talk and be more closer, get to know each other very well, presently we flow fine, and he doesn't take to be any thing, and I must tell they will be wedding on 29th December, you see i am close.

But its not easy because if you do that to me , i don't really know how i will take,


As per the other guy coming to sleep or stay, he should try and make way forward to aviod any problem and try to be close with the guy,


PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE,

Hey,

My friend spoke with is girlfriend about her best friend and she is willing to give up all about her bestfriend to save her relationship.
Film trick or real life?

The guy now thinks he took it too hard on her, I told him as long as it will save him the heart aches, _{sounds selfish!} but better that comitting sucide from hearing that one thing lead to another and the girl and her friend did the KOKO!

[s]"Sometimes you have to be selfish to be the man "[/s]

@Fikzy,

She's not his girlfriend. He is her boy-toy, her insurance policy. You know why?

1. Her people have so much accepted the "friend" that she can sleep over at his place . . . your friend is the "stranger".
2. She prefers this guy's company and is with your friend only when her "best-friend" is not available
3. Platonic male-female relationships don't exist. The guy ALWAYS wants to shag the girl, he just don't know how to say it.
4. She sleeping over? They are definitely doing it. No girl, I repeat, NO GIRL can sleep over at a guy's place continuously, consecutively and nothing will happen. Parents are not stupid when they separate children's rooms as soon as they hit the teenage years. Why? because even with siblings, shit can happen.
5. She's just waiting for her "best-friend" to say the magic word or make the magic move and then your friend will be history. It's even possible that she tells her "best friend" that your paddy is "only a friend" as far as the other guy is concerned.

Tell your guy to go find himself another girl. These people are already too close to each other and if your guy forbids her from seeing her "best-friend", they will see each other secretly - which will be much much worse.

Just leave her.

one thing u shod know is that Ur girl friend luvs u that's why she accepted to be ur g/f.so don't be so jealous abt the other guy. maybe ur g/f finds his company OK but does not luv him to make him her lover. so relax cos Ur g/f luvs u.

it depends on the type of boyfriend ur friend is, if he is a useless boyfriend, then she should continue to chill with her best friend, but if he is genuinly a great guy then yes she should be sensitive to his feelings, u know when seh hangs out with her best friend she shouldnt tell him and all that stuff.

Hi Guys, its intresting to know that its a fablous topic we have here, and after going thru the views of everyone here, I think we have all tried in our assesments.

The guy has every rite to be jealous, cos if i were in his shoes, I will feel the same, for him to have attachments to girl family, the friend will always have an edge in decesion making, I am nt saying this, cos I wanna talk, I am saying this, cos I have been there before, and I think I understand him better, in my cos I was d FRIEND.

In this realm, everything, was going on fine, including my frequent clashes with the boyfriend, which I always kept on low key, cos I knew myself

Hi Guys, its intresting to know that its a fablous topic we have here, and after going thru the views of everyone here, I think we have all tried in our assesments.

The guy has every rite to be jealous, cos if i were in his shoes, I will feel the same, for him to have attachments to girl family, the friend will always have an edge in decesion making, I am nt saying this, cos I wanna talk, I am saying this, cos I have been there before, and I think I understand him better, in my cos I was d FRIEND.

In this realm, everything, was going on fine, including my frequent clashes with the boyfriend, which I always kept on low key, cos I knew myself I was plain, along the line family induced the girl to pick me ahead of her boyfriend, that I ws well known, friend of d family and the rest of all d conclusions.

I just wont say hw it all ended, bt I would advise the guy to let the gal know of his worries, and let the gal be corteous, friends are diferent from lovers, and there is just a very thin line btw them both, if its bridged while being crossed, there could be fatal consequences.

Please all play safe.

ore ki laja n ba ekun se?