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Am I to Be Blame? - Romance - Nairaland

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Am I to Be Blame? by Velaso: 2:46am On Apr 18, 2012
First I have to apologizing for using a new id.


Recently, my girl has to attend a seminar in another city. It is required that you must bring one foreigner before you are permitted to enter the place. I don't know any foreigner living in the city and this seminar is very important to us. I made some calls and none of my friends know of any foreigner living in the city. Finally, I decided to search on dating website. We found some foreigners living in the city. We decided that she chat with them and tell them about the seminar and ask if they can go with her. One of them agreed and they started chatting.She told the guy that she already has a boyfriend and asked him if he is still willing to help her. The guy agreed. The day she traveled to the city, the guy picked her up at the airport, help her with hotel reservation. Everything seems alright and she was happy for the guy's help. Each day she will call me and tell me everything that has been happening. I advised her to know more about the city and meet more friends.

Some days ago, the guy invited her to a party which was organize in the guy's house. She went there. The party ended around 2.00a.m. To cut the whole story short, that night the guy tried raping her, holding her down and started touching her. She started shouting for help and the neigbours came to her rescue. She called me and all she was crying saying "I am afraid and I cannot sleep. Why did you introduce me to the website. It shows you don't protect me."

I called the guy and ask why he should behave the way he does. From the phone, it seems that he feel guilt and he has called me about 3 times for apology. He called my girl and she doesn't pick her call anymore. She is also not picking my calls again. She just cut the call.

Someone please tell me what I have done wrong? I have sent a lot of messages apologizing to her. Right now I feel weak and sadden. I feel guilty of everything. Each moment that pass seems a thousand years because I cannot imagine that my girl is in another city alone,lonely, and afraid of everything.
Re: Am I to Be Blame? by femmy2010(m): 5:43am On Apr 18, 2012
You did a grave wrong to have allowed your lady to meet a man on the site.
Someone she never knew before.
It sure would have been better she missed the seminar if you couldn't make yourself available.
Re: Am I to Be Blame? by slimyem: 5:55am On Apr 18, 2012
picking up a random stranger to escort your girl to a seminar?WRONG MOVE!
She should have missed the seminar!the heavens wont fall if she did!
Thank God the guy didnt get thru with his evil act.
Tell your girl to come back home as soon as she can get on the next flight!
And then you have lots of work to do to make her forgive your in-sensibility and put the experience behind her!
Goodluck!
Re: Am I to Be Blame? by LogicMind: 10:41am On Apr 18, 2012
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
i'm wondering who is more dumb. you or your girlfriend?

1 Like

Re: Am I to Be Blame? by Nobody: 12:33pm On Apr 18, 2012
Logic Mind: grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
i'm wondering who is more dumb. you or your girlfriend?

I should say evidence points out its the guy that's dumber because i'm surprised he hasn't even gone there.

1 Like

Re: Am I to Be Blame? by doctokwus: 1:13pm On Apr 18, 2012
Its refreshing to c a genuine story on NL for a change,its bn one poorly scripted tale after anoda of recent.
@topic,gv her some time,but dont stop trying to call,once a while wen she switches on her fone she will get to c d missd calls,do also send her apology sms msgs if u can.All dis wi count in all favor in d long run.Men are naturally meant to take d first blame in dis kind of circumstances,but common sense& lv does eventually right many wrongs.
Re: Am I to Be Blame? by kaboninc(m): 1:31pm On Apr 18, 2012
Logic Mind: grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
i'm wondering who is more dumb. you or your girlfriend?
Pls add the 'story'. Who's dumb: you, the girl or tin whole story? I think its the whole story.
Re: Am I to Be Blame? by Yeecar(m): 7:06pm On Apr 18, 2012
Velaso: First I have to apologizing for using a new id.


Recently, my girl has to attend a seminar in another city. It is required that you must bring one foreigner before you are permitted to enter the place. I don't know any foreigner living in the city and this seminar is very important to us. I made some calls and none of my friends know of any foreigner living in the city. Finally, I decided to search on dating website. We found some foreigners living in the city. We decided that she chat with them and tell them about the seminar and ask if they can go with her. One of them agreed and they started chatting.She told the guy that she already has a boyfriend and asked him if he is still willing to help her. The guy agreed. The day she traveled to the city, the guy picked her up at the airport, help her with hotel reservation. Everything seems alright and she was happy for the guy's help. Each day she will call me and tell me everything that has been happening. I advised her to know more about the city and meet more friends.

Some days ago, the guy invited her to a party which was organize in the guy's house. She went there. The party ended around 2.00a.m. To cut the whole story short, that night the guy tried raping her, holding her down and started touching her. She started shouting for help and the neigbours came to her rescue. She called me and all she was crying saying "I am afraid and I cannot sleep. Why did you introduce me to the website. It shows you don't protect me."

I called the guy and ask why he should behave the way he does. From the phone, it seems that he feel guilt and he has called me about 3 times for apology. He called my girl and she doesn't pick her call anymore. She is also not picking my calls again. She just cut the call.

Someone please tell me what I have done wrong? I have sent a lot of messages apologizing to her. Right now I feel weak and sadden. I feel guilty of everything. Each moment that pass seems a thousand years because I cannot imagine that my girl is in another city alone,lonely, and afraid of everything.
Guy U̶̲̥̅̊ av Ɣ☺ΰr blames too but dat doesn't mk ΎÚ® gf ȃ saint. ₪☺ responsible girl will stay dat late witth ȃ complete stranger! Is she nut or wat?(₪☺ offence o). Endure for ȃ yl, if she keeps up with dat crap,give her ȃ break!!!
Re: Am I to Be Blame? by Nobody: 3:55am On Apr 19, 2012
I dnt knw y i have ds feelin dat the guy suceedd_if nt y wnt she pick ur cals? U hav alwaýz bin her confident al ds while.Giv her tym 2 heal,dnt bother her wit cals,jst txt her frm tym 2 tym 2 stil apologc
Re: Am I to Be Blame? by Nobody: 5:57am On Apr 19, 2012
@OP
however i look at this story, it makes NO DAMN SENSE!!!!

- what kind of seminar demands that you bring a foreigner in order to enter the place?
- you wrote: "the seminar is very important to US", so why didnt you attend?
- why did you have to go to a dating site?
- why didnt you look for a WOMAN friend on that dating site?
- you wrote: " WE found some foreigner" so obviously you BOTH searched together, why is she blaming YOU then?
- why did she stayed in contact with this man if she had already gotten her entrance to the seminar?
- why on earth would she go to a stranger's home?
- why didnt you advise her to go to the police when you learned that she had been molested?
Re: Am I to Be Blame? by Velaso: 6:49am On Apr 19, 2012
I appreciate everyone's views/reply. Regarding the issue of meeting a complete strange, maybe you guys are right but I have been doing such a thing for a long time, for example picking up a stranger both male or female and allow them to spend their night or some days at my place, etc. I have also received such favours from people that I don't know. Some I met them the first time. Others not up to 3-7 days.

Likewise my girl do the same thing. I guess she is afraid because that was her first encounter of such behaviour from a stranger.
I guess next time we will be more cautious.

doctokwus: Its refreshing to c a genuine story on NL for a change,its bn one poorly scripted tale after anoda of recent.
@topic,gv her some time,but dont stop trying to call,once a while wen she switches on her fone she will get to c d missd calls,do also send her apology sms msgs if u can.All dis wi count in all favor in d long run.Men are naturally meant to take d first blame in dis kind of circumstances,but common sense& lv does eventually right many wrongs.

You are right, I absorb all the blame. The good news is that she called me asking how I am feeling and other affection questions. As for the guy, he is trying to right up his wrong. I have received numerous calls of apology from him and the three of us will be having lunch or dinner in the near future. It is good to make peace though sometimes you have to step out of your way to resolve issues. Thank you.
MRbrownJAY: @OP
however i look at this story, it makes NO DAMN SENSE!!!!

- what kind of seminar demands that you bring a foreigner in order to enter the place?
- you wrote: "the seminar is very important to US", so why didnt you attend?
- why did you have to go to a dating site?
- why didnt you look for a WOMAN friend on that dating site?
- you wrote: " WE found some foreigner" so obviously you BOTH searched together, why is she blaming YOU then?
- why did she stayed in contact with this man if she had already gotten her entrance to the seminar?
- why on earth would she go to a stranger's home?
- why didnt you advise her to go to the police when you learned that she had been molested?

Regarding your question,
-- It is a commerce seminar
-- I didn't attend because I have to focus on another part of our plan and other things that is beyond my control.
-- Because no one seems to know any foreigner and since most people are on dating site, I said maybe I should give it a try.
-- Maybe she blamed me because I was the one that came up with the idea. You know girls way of thinking.
-- As you know sometimes you have to be in contact with those that help you. Maybe this one backfired.
-- Somehow you might call the person a stranger. Maybe she thinks that he is not that kind of a stranger anymore
-- What will the police do? Arrest the guy, collect money and release him on bail, or start asking for evidence, turning it into a court case. I have had similar case before(though not relating to sexual violation). I took the case to the police, we ended in court. I spent my time, money, energy, etc and at the end of the day, the person was bailed with money). Some guys might be satisfy with the out come but if you ask me, I will tell you that I loose big time and the only people that gain are the lawyers and the police. Since then I have learn not to fight some matter.
Re: Am I to Be Blame? by Exponental(m): 8:48am On Apr 19, 2012
Y shld u give a cat ur meat?
U went 2 an hunter's site n u complaining abt been hunted.....
Re: Am I to Be Blame? by Nobody: 8:57am On Apr 19, 2012
@OP
you and your gf going to dinner to make peace with the guy who molested your GF, and almost ra.ped her?! no wonder so many girls are being ra.ped all over 9ja , when criminal are walking around the masses unpunished.
remember it could be your little sister next time, and she may not be as lucky as your gf.
Re: Am I to Be Blame? by Goldieluks: 9:19am On Apr 19, 2012
MRbrownJAY: @OP
however i look at this story, it makes NO DAMN SENSE!!!!

- what kind of seminar demands that you bring a foreigner in order to enter the place?
- you wrote: "the seminar is very important to US", so why didnt you attend?
- why did you have to go to a dating site?
- why didnt you look for a WOMAN friend on that dating site?
- you wrote: " WE found some foreigner" so obviously you BOTH searched together, why is she blaming YOU then?
- why did she stayed in contact with this man if she had already gotten her entrance to the seminar?
- why on earth would she go to a stranger's home?
- why didnt you advise her to go to the police when you learned that she had been molested?


Exactly what i was thinking,a very senseless story. I wonder what part of the world it happened,maybe in space.

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