Long story..


I met him last semester through a mutual friend. We started dating. He told me he was single when he was actually still with his ex from his hometown. I didnt know at the time. We ended up falling for each other hard and he confessed. I told him then I didnt want to continue to date him, so he begged and cried for me to stay. After a few days he came to me and told me he broke up with her and he wanted me as his girlfriend. I accepted anyway because of my feeling for him. Through out the relationship was wonderful, his family, my family, our friends and his pastor , coaches all knew about me. But I started seeing that his ex was messaging him on facebook (this is after he supposely blocked her). I confronted him about it and he lied saying he didnt talk to her. That was a month ago.

Anyway we got through that until this past Friday. I found out that they were still talking. She emailed me and said he told her that he still loved her but he also cared for me but for her to wait because he planned on coming home Jan. 2013 so they could be together. I confronted him, he started crying, begging me to give him another chance. He even called her (put her on speaker) and told her to leave him alone,that they couldnt be friends bc he loves me and wants to work on me and his relationship. She started crying asking why he was playing with her emotions. I got upset and took the phone and me and her got into it. I felt disrespected bc she knew he was with me. He then gave me his phone for 2 days straight so i could tell he was being honest, he gave me all his passwords to his phone, email and facebook. He blocked her "again". I broke up with him anyway and he was upset and he confessed that he loved me hard and didnt expect to fall this hard but he knew his heart was with her and although he lied by telling me he would stay at the same university, he knew he was going back home "next year" to be with her. He said he had an emotional attachment bc she had his baby ( a boy) but it died and regardless he wanted her. He also sent me a text msg saying that if she was at the same university with us he wouldnt even have looked my way and sorry for wasting my time with him.

My bff said that this wasnt right and we both were mad and we all had a mtg to put everything on the table. He met us and she asked him to be honest because it was pointless to try to work on this relationship depending on his answer. She asked where he wanted to be and who he wanted to be with. He said he was homesick and he loved his ex and thats where he wanted to be, thats where his heart was. So I cried, he left and that was that. But 2hours later he texted me saying that he made the wrong decision and fu*k his ex. I never responed back. That was Saturady, today is Monday. Im so confused. Please give me your honest imput on this situation and what I should do. Because my brain is telling me to move on and I did everything right in the relationship. My bff asked him what I could do to make the relationship better..he looked at me teary eyed and said nothing, Im perfect but his heart else where. My brain is saying for me to find another guy who will make me #1. My heart is telling me to stay and so is my mom. She says relationships can be hell sometimes and no one is perfect. She can tell he loves me but is torn. I dont know yal, I need help with this. #heartbroken

The guy is just selfish,wants to have both of you.... Wake up and smell the coffee,your being played. You deserve better than that

I understand Im just like why he went through all of that to keep me. I mean he cursed and told his ex "the one he love and where his heart is" that he wanted to stay with me and to leave him alone. If he really loved her he would have never let her go or got back with her.
If he really cared for me he would have stopped texting her saying he loved her and for her to wait on him. This is so crazy and it hurts like hell!!

Crap a tub of Ben and Jerry's dominate it
Go out with your friends and have a good time
you got played but that doesnt mean life ends
you better off without that douchebag anyways.. i saw where there is smoke there is always fire... i can only imagine what he is saying to her about you
Celebrate chica! you dodged a bullet!! time for you and someone who appreciates you for all of who you are x

Run as fast as your leg can carry you cos he will eventually dump you. The guy isn't serious and he is only playing with your emotions because he can feel it that you are really into him.

Its just messed up that I put my all into it and in the end he is fine. Hell he can go back to his ex and be happy! Why would he even want a chic who would still talk to him even when he put me first and cursed her out and he was in a relationship with me. And what type of chic would wait for a year in a half for someone? How does she know he even being honest with her? Hell how does he know she aint playing him. They are in two different states and havent seen each other in a year! But he wants me and dont want me to leave him but still have a spot in his heart for her, like im suppose to accept that. UGH im so pissed!

Op, do you have something that can take your mind off anything love for now? Like exciting friends, activities, trips, vacations etc
if you have, then do it, stop thinking about him, try and forget him, get happy, when you are done, believe me you will then see him for who he truly is and can then take a decision not influenced by emotions.
Mine is football manager

Hi, I can relate to your post a lot..I'm with a guy I've been with almost a year and a half..I'm completely in love with him and want to be with him. My only issue is that about seven months ago he texted/called his ex girlfriend and said he loved, missed, and wanted to be with her. She also said "I'll suck your d*** every morning" "come to mee" and he said he couldn't wait to be with her again and called her "babygirl" which is my name :,( He looked me in the eyes and told me he is in love with us both.
I'm still so hurt by this seven months later. I try to smile and act happy but some days like these I just want to cry. He promised me he wouldn't talk to her again and I truly believe he doesn't. My issue is she keeps coming back into our lives and when she does all those feeling resurface again. She searched for him on google and found his email to talk to him. After this happened I made him call her and tell her off in front of me. I feel better after this and she hasn't been coming around as far as I know but I'm so fucking paranoid.
I know I'm better looking and have an amazing heart. But after he looked me in the eyes and told me he's "in love" with both of us I can't get over it. I wish it never happened. He told me the reason why he did is because I was acting out and being mean to him. My problem is I can only recognize once or twice where I've been totally out of line (bitching at his friends to get out of the house) and being very depressed at the time, sleeping all day and not acting like myself. My issue is instead of confronting me with my issues and trying to talk to me about it he chose to call up his ex and hurt me instead. I don't believe this to be fair and I'm feeling like I'm not worth it or something. I don't know what to do and I know I have a lot to work on within myself. I'm strong enough to be alone but I do really love him and want this to work I just want all these negative feelings to go away and stop feeling like I'm on eggshells and not to make him mad or he might do the same thing. I don't know what to do, I am starting to build more trust it's just really hard and I need to work on my self esteem. I know what I deserve and know I shouldn't feel this way. I know I have my flaws and have been watching my attitude but my feelings have been dragging me down and I can't help but think he wants her or another girl if I'm in a bad mood or how I was during summer.
Please help I know I need to work on my self esteem.

^^ sorwie luv, know wat luv can do to u, buh sometyms we haf to stick it out no matter wat. I think you shld gif him space;no calls, don't pk if he calls, no mails etc. Let him see wat life will be like wvout u...where are u presently, mayb we cld chat.

Kahwayy: The guy is just selfish,wants to have both of you.... Wake up and smell the coffee,your being played. You deserve better than that

mind the way u use words. She was not being played, the guy is much as confused as she is.
Biliv me, he shuttles thru two emotions he doesn't wanna loose, shuffles thru both and alwys come out wit the same card!

The advise is to help him choose by letting him go, he 'loves' both, but u choose!

Let's say: experience is the best teacher!
***winks***

GboyegaD: Run as fast as your leg can carry you cos he will eventually dump you. The guy isn't serious and he is only playing with your emotions because he can feel it that you are really into him.

biliv me, he won't dump her, but he will keep lyin to stay at both worlds. In the end, u will only realise he gives excuses that won't make u follow him home: cos wen he is married to u in 'away', he keeps his ex at 'home'!

Like i said, choose for him, help him, let him go.

OR

Or stay at ur peril

Sweetie, it must be really hard for you but the truth is your boyfriend is a pathetic wimpy a... hole. Cry your heart out, but babe, move on. Forget what he did or didn't do, forget him, full stop, he's lied to you, and he is lying to you everytime he says he loves you Cos he doesn't, so forget him, block him and I promise you'll find someone who's better than him in a relationship that is less hurtful than this one.

Thank you guys. I feel silly writing on a forum but I just need help. I signed up with counseling to Get over negative thoughts I think the main issue with females is that they don't know their worth and stay with a man who makes them feel bad because they feel bad themselves. This isn't really my issue as my BF really does treat me great and I know he loves me. He's mature and believe he is faithful. I think it's me. My issue is that he had these feelings for her that resurfaced only when he was upset at me for being a "bitch". He says he doesn't think about her and doesn't really love her, he just said those things to be spiteful against me. Pretty messed up because I feel he "won" if that's the game he was playing that night. Plus he was on acid so his mind wasn't right.. Anyway, I'm still dealing with these issues and trying to raise my self esteem level to know what I deserve. I'm just trying to decide if I really deserved this. I guess I was being a bad GF during that time but there were underlying issues with me going on. I just wish he talked to me instead of getting revenge because 7 months later I'm trying to assure myself I'm the one he loves, not her. And that he just did it to me as payback

I meant "biatch" not "naughty lady"

Maybe you are really a biitch.

You need a man who will treat you like you are a priority

Mondisweets: You need a man who will treat you like you are a priority

You must be kidding Me! You've got the scariest ghost pic I've ever seen! Ever!

Ceasar1:

You must be kidding Me! You've got the scariest ghost pic I've ever seen! Ever!

good that will keep you away from my profile

Mondisweets: good that will keep you away from my profile

It scared the hell outta me too Mondi

Talon05:
It scared the hell outta me too Mondi

OP, never allow yourself to be treating as an option. You deserve to be his choice.

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Talon05:

Mondisweets:

Smile for me

Talon05:
Smile for me

Mondisweets:

Yh I feel good now