Greetings Everyone,

I am a African American Women Married to A Wonderful Nigerian Man. The problem at hand is I feel abandon by my hubby due to immigration taking forever to process paperwork and my last visit with him let’s just say in June a whole year is ticking . Now for the honesty part I have so much resentment in my heart for my hubby because I feel it’s sorely his fault (95%) that things are so difficult between us now. In my opinion before he develop a decision to marry he should have made sure that I am able to travel to him at least twice or year until paperwork is finish due to I am a student and is financially handicap to purchase flight to and from his location and sometime funds are needed for upkeep not that I bother him my focus is mainly on visiting him. My heart is broken from this situation and I am uncertain what is needed from my part. Please offer feedback on how to handle this situation with my hubby without anger and resentment in my heart. Am I right or wrong for feeling this way? Please leave respectful replies Thanks!!

Okay the way you write makes me not believe the story. You write Nigerian. Not like an educated Nigerian either. The decision on how often you guys would see each other was a decision that both of you should have made from the beginning. It does not only fall on him. The fact that you feel it all falls on him makes me believe that you are not American too. Anyway goodluck

@OP,is your boyfriend not working or is he a student like you?why can't either of you's afford tickets to visit the other?

Too bad,u got caught up but getting angry at him wont solve nothing and its unfair to him.How would u react if he begins to resent you too or blame you for all the 'tough times' the relationship is facing?

I have just 3 words for you:
You both save up for tickets and decides on who's visiting who.
You endure this phase,enjoy the long distance relationship thrills and hope for better days.
You take a walk and look for a man in your city.

OP, are you trying to say he should have made sure that everything abt your trip is secure (financially such that you visit him 2ice a year) right?
well, the economy is bad. whatever you do, don't use CC (credit card) to buy ticket.

Thanks CC.That bit didnt stick in my head because this kind of story rarely comes up in 'marriage' scenes.

@OP,when and where did you guys got married?
Why are you finding it difficult getting a Nigerian visit visa?
what is your husband doing,did he promise to bring you to his country or relocate to your place with the speed of light during courtship and now has defualted?why do you harbour the thoughts of 'you failed me' against him ?

abeg,sun too much,dis kain tori sef.orisirisi

@ Op i dont understand this post. Did you not consider your financial situation prior to the marriage? If you are both strapped for cash and no one can help the other financially then I cannot understand your frustration. Just wait it out, once the papers are ready you will reunite with hubby and enjoy him fully again.

SweetiePie30: Greetings Everyone,

I am a African American Women Married to A Wonderful Nigerian Man.

ok

SweetiePie30: The problem at hand is I feel abandon by my hubby due to immigration taking forever to process paperwork

which paper work takes immigration forever to process after marriage? an AA getting married to a Nigerian would require both papers after which marriage cert is issued. so where did you get married? [/quote]

SweetiePie30: and my last visit with him let’s just say in June a whole year is ticking .

last visit to where? june what year? with him or to him? i doubt your identity claims...

SweetiePie30: Now for the honesty part I have so much resentment in my heart for my hubby because I feel it’s sorely his fault (95%) that things are so difficult between us now. In my opinion before he develop a decision to marry he should have made sure that I am able to travel to him at least twice or year until paperwork is finish due to I am a student and is financially handicap to purchase flight to and from his location and sometime funds are needed for upkeep not that I bother him my focus is mainly on visiting him. My heart is broken from this situation and I am uncertain what is needed from my part.

i think i need an interpreter here...

SweetiePie30: Please offer feedback on how to handle this situation with my hubby without anger and resentment in my heart. Am I right or wrong for feeling this way? Please leave respectful replies Thanks!!

you are welcome..

people are so mean and rude on this website. Instead of viewing the root of the problem i am told i am uneducated and a interpeter is needed. When individuals post on this site its to receive some type of feedback and not to get torn down in the process. If you were standing directly in my face i dont think u would say such words to me. Have a Blessed Day!!

People still were willing to help but some parts of your post were not very clear reason everyone is asking questions.If you really need help,you've got to ignore the comments that go down well with you and come up with a clearer picture of your situation.

If you give up or get irritated easily this way,the immigration papers might take forever to materialise.

Goodluck.

ifyalways: People still were willing to help but some parts of your post were not very clear reason everyone is asking questions.If you really need help,you've got to ignore the comments that go down well with you and come up with a clearer picture of your situation.

If you give up or get irritated easily this way,the immigration papers might take forever to materialise.

Goodluck.

Ify! Ify!! LMAO at the immigration papers might take forever to materialise.

OP, This is Nigerian Forum, plenty of insuls but dont give up ok?

I guess you are only feeling like tasting another forbidding fruit.

Its boredom or loneliness call it anyone.


However

Your writing skill is not encouraging,can you dedicate more time on improving that pls?.

My dear,
Don't mind what their reply here. I also have same problem with my husband. He can have married visa to stay in my country but for me to go Nigeria is not like what those Nigerian's think. Their embassy not so friendly to help and make it the processing to be shortly. My husband leave me since Nov last year and till now he still stay over there. I can't say anything either he start to have other women over there or other problem. But they way he always think he have RIGHT to do what ever he like. He forget that you also have a RIGHT as wife. Anyway before you get more and more heart broken think from deeply your small heart either you need to continue the relationship. But most of Nigerians if the married with foreigner, they are to rushing to get Married Visa from their wife country.I wonder what your man waiting for to stay in USA? Anyway, I wish you GOOD LUCK.

SweetiePie30: people are so mean and rude on this website. Instead of viewing the root of the problem i am told i am uneducated and a interpeter is needed. When individuals post on this site its to receive some type of feedback and not to get torn down in the process. If you were standing directly in my face i dont think u would say such words to me. Have a Blessed Day!!

You should have started by not telling lies. You are Nigerian. What is the point of lying about it.

You are very ignorant!!

You should have started by not telling lies. You are Nigerian. What is the point of lying about it. [/quote]

@ op i dont want to be rude, but i am still confused as to what you are asking in your original post. Try to explain better so those that want to help can do so.

SweetiePie30: You are very ignorant!!

You should have started by not telling lies. You are Nigerian. What is the point of lying about it.

Rather be ignorant than a pathological liar. NEXT!

@Outstrip U must like me ALOTTT LOL U stay on my post!!!! I have no reason 2 lie what will lying do for me it surely will not correct my situation (Huggggsssss)

Rather be ignorant than a pathological liar. NEXT![/quote]

Okay Dearie I read your post and i'm just wondering why didnt your husband travel to you?Get married in the states and be together?..i'm a little confused about you waiting on immigration papers?are you applying for residency in Nigeria?..Im not criticising Dearie just trying to understand your "circumstances"..you say you just want to visit?Than immigration shouldnt take that long..you apply for a visitor visa and it will give you up to 3 months depending on your passport validation.Since your husband is there it should be fine in regards to your accomodation.I live in New Zealand and immigration here is alot stricter than Naija's Entry requirements.My Husband is also Nigerian,and I love him with all my Heart.Be easy on your Man! Shit Happens..you just gotta stay positive.

cant make head or tail of any of it, including the post directly above me.

poster, maybe you should try travel section?

there are people there who handle these sorts of enquiries.

crap

SweetiePie30: @Outstrip U must like me ALOTTT LOL U stay on my post!!!! I have no reason 2 lie what will lying do for me it surely will not correct my situation (Huggggsssss)

Rather be ignorant than a pathological liar. NEXT!

Olodo you can never learn.