We were lovers during my secondary school days and he was my first love, we lost contact after secondary school. He was seriously commited then and I loved him so much.

After two years he got my address and mobile number through a friend, but i'm in love with another guy that loves me a lot. I have promised my first love that i will never say goodbye. He is so serious and need me back in his life. I told him that i'm into another relationship but said he didn't want to know. I respect the feeling of my first love alot and realise i'm still in love in love with him, but we've never had sex and i didn't want it to happen. I can't double date. What do i do?

Bad idea girl.Better forget about the past and face the future.Carry on with your new life.Good Luck !

i don't think so digitalove, the thing is she'll never know wht's in it for her unless she tries and finds out. if she's still in love with the guy i don't see why she shouldn't go back and if things don't work she can carry on with her life. because it would be hard for her to move on while her heart is still with another

Listen to your heart. Forget sentiments. Which one of these guys brings out the best in you? When it comes to relationships darl there ain't rules. Listen to your heart!

Very true!!Do what your heart tells you.There has to be one you love more,one you wanna be with more,that you care about more,and that loves you more.Past or present go with the one that's dearest to your heart.

the best thing to do is go back to your first love. lets face reality, definitely she won't be happy with the new guy knowing fully well that the first love still wants her and she too loves him

There are two main parts to your life - what is behind you and what is ahead of you. You can't change the first part, but what you do now will have a spill-over effect on the second part.

The answer of what you will do will not be provided by anyone on this forum because it is inside you and you will live with ur decision [b]O[/b]n [b]Y[/b]our [b]O[/b]wn,

Think about these and decide,

I just know, if I were yout current guy, I'd feel irritated if you choose the former guy over me and I may drop u first because ur even considering dropping me calls into question the fact that you say you love me.

And if I was the former boyfriend, I'll know deep inside I'm not asking you to do something reasonable when I ask you leave another guy for me. If I really loved u that much, why did I stay out of touch in the first place.

As I said, it's ur life and ur decision. Do it right!!!

You would have to choose one of them you have to compare their personalites and what other thnigs that you want to see in a guy, then choose. but if you leave the present one like that how would he feel.

Sagacious,
Well, u are contradicting issues. U are in love with another guy yet there is a promise of not leaving the 1st guy. Anyway, consider the merits of the 2 guys and take a stand. Good luck

@ Badman888 he will feel bad ,because i know he is in love

Sagacious you have said it all that you love this your first love and he loves you too so much.
What then do we say?
Yoy have concluded with no confusion that you need him back in your life by confessing that you have promised him you'll never say goodbye to him.

So give him the chance that is already created.
I'm sure he'll appreciate you the more.

@ Greatpeter if your girlfriends tell you she is leaving for her former Boyfriend that she promised her he wont leave, how would you feel? Because i know i would feel bad ooo.

Sagacious said she cant double date, so if she cant, let her continue with her new lover. What do you think has been happening to your old lover, dont he has a new lover too? how are you sure he is still the same guy you left him 2 years ago. Having anything with him is cheating on your new lover and to me, most women frown so much about cheating or being unfaithful. If you women are acusing men of being unfaithful or cheating, continuing with your old lover will be like preaching what you cant do. Better let him go, and move forward.

Forget about sentiments and all that sh**,saying how would one of them feel knowing you are leaving him or not taking him back.
You would be even making him feel worse if he finds out later that you decided to stay with him because of some sentimental reasons.I think and bliv it was just some kind of uncontrollable factors that made your FIRST LOVE not to be able to get back to you since you guys left high school and now that he has been able to control them,I can imagine the stress he would have gone through just to get back in touch with you and he confesses he still loves you and wants you back.(He is not your past he is only in your past and our past makes us who we are)
I think you should really try to spend sometime with him and see whether the chemistry is still there and you still feel the same way you felt for him earlier.If you do,Men thats some sh** you should appreciate.i think you shouldnt let him go once more because guess what Girl?you just won a lottery.lol.because first love is not something you shouldnt joke with because you he is in the deepest part of your heart and so are you in his and thats where you would both remain forever.It took you sometime to discover that but now you have discovered it don't make the mistake of your life.
Just and advice anyway don't want you peeps on the second loves side hating on me

Its a good thing you didnt have sex, trust me breaking off from a first love you've slept with and you love is like a drug problem. You know what i think, get him out of your system soon.

@bettybo i don't know what you think,please try to explain.

I don't trust you with your present guy, if you can't decide wether you love him enough to forget a guy that you didn't even sleep with back in high school. Are you sure you really love your current boyfriend? Something tells me deep in your heart, you want to get back to your first love.

Idekeson:

I don't trust you with your present guy, if you can't decide wether you love him enough to forget a guy that you didn't even sleep with back in high school. Are you sure you really love your current boyfriend? Something tells me deep in your heart, you want to get back to your first love.

You are right, otherwise all this seeking of advices will not have happened in the first place. The story would have been, why does he think he can come back into my life again?

Sagacious, u know wat? it's all bout your happiness gal.But one

Sagacious, u know wat? it's all bout your happiness gal.But one thing I know for sure is that if you've really loved someone, you can never get him outta ur head.another thin is dis, since you've never had sex wit the 1st guy, u not sure if he can really satisfy you and d same goes to him.he might decide to dump u after he discovers u not all dat good in bed.I might sound funny but that's d fact.These things matter in a r/ship abi i deh lie? just compare both of 'em and see which one makes you happier.no sentiments now, face the fact no avoid regrets, Luvxxxxx

girl it's urdecision and your life it's all about following your heart, you know like celine dion said,
it's all about you and who u love, if you still love d 1st guy u're deceiving the 1 u're going out wiv, so do ur thing n choose your love

Sagacious,you must be a wise babe for bearing that nick name ,go for the guy so precious to you and you need to consider the implication before desicion.don't fall in love with a dreamer,hold on before you say goodbye.

the reason why I love Nairaland is that there are so many Special Advisers on Love Related Issues.

If I were to say 3 thns, I'll say think hard, make a choice. Use your head and your heart.

do what your heart tells you to do, but remember, do not hurt any of them

twinstaiye:

You are right, otherwise all this seeking of advices will not have happened in the first place. The story would have been, why does he think he can come back into my life again?

Idekeson:

I don't trust you with your present guy, if you can't decide wether you love him enough to forget a guy that you didn't even sleep with back in high school. Are you sure you really love your current boyfriend? Something tells me deep in your heart, you want to get back to your first love.

I quite agree with idekeson & twinstaiye ---- I think it's worth a try giving your 1st love a trial , 'cos if u don't, u'll never stop looking back constantly with regrets no matter how many years. if it doesn't work out then it'll be completely out of your heart. LIFE ITSELF IS A RISK. also I do not think u should be scared of losing your present man 'cos it's so obvious that u do not feel the same way and I think he deserves a bit of honesty. whichever, don't make him feel dumped for another! u can have a mature talk.

and to share my personal experience I am also back with my 1st luv after 9yrs --- it might work out between u two because the feeling is so truly deep and true-- when I look at my man I still see that young boy, we still act like teenagers, our friends do tease us a lot about this !
and--- I also did have d fear that, could it be that it was just an ego game on his part when he kept coming back. the magic was that, I did not just give in to him. He went on a very long lenght, involving every link of people we knew/know, in common, friends, family etc just to have them solicit on his behalf. A man wouldn't go this far if he doesn't truly want u, at this stage if it was only a joke he would back out. I had to make him prove this becos I wasn't sure of who he could have changed into and I knew any slip of heartbreak through him would ruin me.

@beyonce,mature talk as how?is better she think twice and follow her heart ,if she will try the second guy again she should never say goodbye.

Sagacious,

This issue is a very sensitive one and u must not toil with it. u also have to be real cos as a secondary school student u may not know what you were doing and secondly relationships are meant to be defined. the problem many relationship face is the issue of definition. Many people don't define their relationship thus they fall into problems.

Relationship grows from a level to another thus u must know what u are doing. My dear put your heart together and be real don't allow anyone to make wrong decision for u.

Pray to God to guide you and don't joke with it cos I don't want you to get hurt.

Noble danie,
You really made a point.

I need to know of people going into relationship with old love ,how is it like?

sagacious:



I need to know of people going into relationship with old love ,how is it like?

Going back to your old love  actually balances your heart's true feelings, feeling so much needed, appreciated, most especially that natural attachment, where u can freely express yourself, without acting up of being so exposed or such an adult  stage if u now what I mean ?   but ,,, it can be so so fragile, a offence which others may see as minor or normal may be so hurtful, but when it's sweet u 'll be in the clouds , uhm love is so so fragile.

beyonce,
I imagine how it will be like.