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My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi - Family - Nairaland

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Kenyan Woman Posts Pics Of A Lady Everywhere Warning Her To Leave Her Husband / Wife Shocking Confession That Ended Her Marriage Of 5years / Woman Caught By Her In-laws With Her Husband's Friend In A Hotel (2) (3) (4)

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My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by Nobody: 12:27am On May 12, 2012
My friend has been married for four years, she has not been happy, because her in laws interfere with everything. At first they wanted her to live with them when their house boy left, when it didn't work, they said she was lazy.
When people came to visit, the mother in law would always say, ''look at my son's wife.I'm more beautiful than her, even my son too is''
As if that was not enough, on her wedding anniversary they called and started listing all the things their son stopped doing for them since he married her.
Now after 4 years things are getting worse, they always accuse her of one thing or the other. She has been asking me if I would advice her to leave the marriage since her husband doesn't take her side in anything.
I dont know what to tell her, anyone with a good advice, please help.
Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by EfemenaXY: 1:38am On May 12, 2012
Why do I get the feeling that this story is incomplete?

Okay, you say your friend's been married for four years (which is a relatively short time), and is unhappy. Do you mean she's been unhappy right from the start of the union? Or later on? If she's been unhappy from the start, then I can't help but blame her.

Do you know why? It's because it shows she didn't study her man properly before leaping into marriage. People don't change certain traits over night. She ought to have noticed that her fiancee (then) didn't have the backbone to stand up to his family whenever they crossed the boundaries, concerning her. If she chose to overlook this weakness of his at the early / dating stage of their relationship, then she has no one to blame but herself.

If on the other hand, this problem reared its head recently, then she needs to carry out a self check and re-examine both hers & hubby's recent actions. Something must have happened to trigger off the recent trend of events. Whatever or where ever the problem might be stemming from, she needs to sit down with hubby and make him understand how unhappy she is. I'm guessing there might be some things happening in the marriage which her hubby isn't happy about AND as a result, he's been confiding in his family.

* Have they been having arguments of recent?
* Is their union blessed with kids? (if not, then that in itself could be a big contributor to the issues they have).
* Is she gainfully employed? ie, works for an employer / run her own business? What does she do? I'm trying to figure out why she needs househelps, and it might throw some light on the reason behind her mother-in-law's comment.

If this is the case, then him confiding personal issues with his family is wrong because while he might feel he's getting the support he needs, he's invariably turning his family against his wife. Something are meant to be strictly between man and wife.

Finally, walking out of a marriage "because my husband doesn't take my side", smacks of immaturity. That is the easy way out and doesn't solve the underlying issues with the union. @poster, advice your friend to have that heart-to-heart with her hubby. There are always two sides to a story.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't advocate she confronts his family (yet), especially his mum. Let her husband deal with that aspect.
Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by ezicat: 3:33am On May 12, 2012
I think your post was quite clear OP - interfering inlaws that want to control the wife because she's married to "their" son. She should of course call out her husband - ask him a direct question. "What do you think will eventually happen to this marriage when your family makes me feel like sh*t?" "Why do you think I'd want to bring children into this?" He needs to stand up to his mother and she needs to reduce contact with those inlaws - telephones can be ignored; there is caller ID after all, visiting can be restricted: make up some excuse. Oh wait, Nigerians don't call before they arrive. She can talk back you know. If she (the inlaw) tries to belittle you in front of visitors - call her out. In response to "I'm so much prettier than the woman my son married," how about "I'm so much nicer than my mother in law. Look at how she belittles me in front of guests. Tell me, is this the basis for a good relationship?"
Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by moremi2008(m): 3:43am On May 12, 2012
Is your husband's family Ibo? That would explain this mess! You should have been prepared for this before you married an Ibo man. His family owns you since they paid your hefty bride price; the sooner you deal with this, the better. grin
Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by Nobody: 5:06am On May 12, 2012
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Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by taryour(f): 7:08am On May 12, 2012
Efemena_xy: Why do I get the feeling that this story is incomplete?

Okay, you say your friend's been married for four years (which is a relatively short time), and is unhappy. Do you mean she's been unhappy right from the start of the union? Or later on? If she's been unhappy from the start, then I can't help but blame her.

Do you know why? It's because it shows she didn't study her man properly before leaping into marriage. People don't change certain traits over night. She ought to have noticed that her fiancee (then) didn't have the backbone to stand up to his family whenever they crossed the boundaries, concerning her. If she chose to overlook this weakness of his at the early / dating stage of their relationship, then she has no one to blame but herself.

If on the other hand, this problem reared its head recently, then she needs to carry out a self check and re-examine both hers & hubby's recent actions. Something must have happened to trigger off the recent trend of events. Whatever or where ever the problem might be stemming from, she needs to sit down with hubby and make him understand how unhappy she is. I'm guessing there might be some things happening in the marriage which her hubby isn't happy about AND as a result, he's been confiding in his family.

* Have they been having arguments of recent?
* Is their union blessed with kids? (if not, then that in itself could be a big contributor to the issues they have).
* Is she gainfully employed? ie, works for an employer / run her own business? What does she do? I'm trying to figure out why she needs househelps, and it might throw some light on the reason behind her mother-in-law's comment.

If this is the case, then him confiding personal issues with his family is wrong because while he might feel he's getting the support he needs, he's invariably turning his family against his wife. Something are meant to be strictly between man and wife.

Finally, walking out of a marriage "because my husband doesn't take my side", smacks of immaturity. That is the easy way out and doesn't solve the underlying issues with the union. @poster, advice your friend to have that heart-to-heart with her hubby. There are always two sides to a story.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't advocate she confronts his family (yet), especially his mum. Let her husband deal with that aspect.

u just brougtht d words out of ma mouth.
Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by tasandra: 7:24am On May 12, 2012
@Efemena xy,u av said it all smiley@ Op,tell ur frnd to stick to her marriage angry
Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by gemstone22(f): 8:25am On May 12, 2012
Efemena_xy: Why do I get the feeling that this story is incomplete?

Okay, you say your friend's been married for four years (which is a relatively short time), and is unhappy. Do you mean she's been unhappy right from the start of the union? Or later on? If she's been unhappy from the start, then I can't help but blame her.

Do you know why? It's because it shows she didn't study her man properly before leaping into marriage. People don't change certain traits over night. She ought to have noticed that her fiancee (then) didn't have the backbone to stand up to his family whenever they crossed the boundaries, concerning her. If she chose to overlook this weakness of his at the early / dating stage of their relationship, then she has no one to blame but herself.

If on the other hand, this problem reared its head recently, then she needs to carry out a self check and re-examine both hers & hubby's recent actions. Something must have happened to trigger off the recent trend of events. Whatever or where ever the problem might be stemming from, she needs to sit down with hubby and make him understand how unhappy she is. I'm guessing there might be some things happening in the marriage which her hubby isn't happy about AND as a result, he's been confiding in his family.

* Have they been having arguments of recent?
* Is their union blessed with kids? (if not, then that in itself could be a big contributor to the issues they have).
* Is she gainfully employed? ie, works for an employer / run her own business? What does she do? I'm trying to figure out why she needs househelps, and it might throw some light on the reason behind her mother-in-law's comment.

If this is the case, then him confiding personal issues with his family is wrong because while he might feel he's getting the support he needs, he's invariably turning his family against his wife. Something are meant to be strictly between man and wife.

Finally, walking out of a marriage "because my husband doesn't take my side", smacks of immaturity. That is the easy way out and doesn't solve the underlying issues with the union. @poster, advice your friend to have that heart-to-heart with her hubby. There are always two sides to a story.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't advocate she confronts his family (yet), especially his mum. Let her husband deal with that aspect.
Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by ifyalways(f): 10:14am On May 12, 2012
Rofl @ MIL saying she's prettier than the DIL.How very petty! Some women and attention issues eh.lol
Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by Nobody: 12:52pm On May 12, 2012
jenny you want to kill me today - abeg o this is my rest day.

as for topic - y can't people make up their own minds without asking NL about certain topics. after i went thru the BS with my ex and saw how his family behaved i vowed not to remain in that family. now i have moved on these same people are calling up my phone and i'm close to changing my number.

its when I send them card thats when they will know chapter don close.
Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by Nobody: 12:53pm On May 12, 2012
Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by Nobody: 1:38pm On May 12, 2012
[color=#006600][/color][quote author=Efemena_xy]Why do I get the feeling that this story is incomplete?

Okay, you say your friend's been married for four years (which is a relatively short time), and is unhappy. Do you mean she's been unhappy right from the start of the union? Or later on? If she's been unhappy from the start, then I can't help but blame her.

Do you know why? It's because it shows she didn't study her man properly before leaping into marriage. People don't change certain traits over night. She ought to have noticed that her fiancee (then) didn't have the backbone to stand up to his family whenever they crossed the boundaries, concerning her. If she chose to overlook this weakness of his at the early / dating stage of their relationship, then she has no one to blame but herself.


My friend courted her husband for almost 3 years. In those years she met the parents twice. I don't think she noticed anything.
She is gainfully employed and even has a child, during whose naming there was a controversy on who will bring the name her child would bear. No need to say, her in laws won the battle.
Her husband to me is not a confrontational person and would rather let his parents have their way, especially his mum, because she starts crying immediately there's a problem, asking him if he has forgotten she carried him for 9 months.
She wants to leave the marriage because she can't put up with their incessant accusations and meanness. I was shocked the day she told me that her mother in law told her that if she prays for her to die(that's her in law) she will be the one to die. I didn't know how to console her then. Or was it the day her sister in law came and asked her mum (my friend's mum) to leave, that her parents said she had over stayed.
Aside from in law trouble, she has a very good relationship with her husband. But to her she is tired of enduring and just wants to get out of the whole thing
Re: My Friend Wants To Leave Her Marriage Because Her In Laws Are Mean. Wants My Opi by Nobody: 1:42pm On May 12, 2012
@topic
These people cannot just wake up one morning and begin to hate this woman all of a sudden and even if you tell me that rigtht now, i will call you a liar.The signs were there but she chose to ignore them, went ahead and married him. It is all her fault

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