the best thing to do now is forget about this girl completely and move on with ur life. Remove everythn that reminds u of her and delete her no., facebook contacts...everythn. Trust me...that girl will cause u nothin' but pain. So make up your mind, let her go and move on to better things in ur life. In time, u'll meet someone else.

Regarding ur birthday, do NOT call her, text her or pick the call if she calls u. The idea is to disconnect with her completely, u cannot be
'just freinds' with her (except mayb five years time when she's out of ur system). Remember, no communication whatsoever, shut her off completely...it may b difficult...but trust me, it's the only way...

Be strong

Titan bro', hello sir.

First up, can I just say "I like you"? Thank you. I like you. Yes sirree! I really like you. And for so many reasons, and on so many levels.

You are young, accomplished and that rarity amongst humans - and especially Nigerians these days - one able to care with your whole heart and love with a passion. You're forgiving, with a long term and comitted view to relationships. What's not to like, huh?.

Plus, plus...you brought this to the fore before the fact, not after. Indeed, you brought us a non-issue. That's right sir. I see no real downside here. No problem whatsoever. It's all good. Gravy as we say.

I have one small issue with you, one area where you haven't been "titanic", in fact you've been somewhat "dwarfish". But, please, please, please don't let that detract from the praise that has gone before.

But listen up, 'cos when we done, you will surely grow in stature.

You are a man! You never, ever, let yourself, be driven by emotion. You never, ever allow yourself to be led by beauty or charm. You simply cannot afford that luxury.

You are indeed blessed, as you've just had an experience, which with a slightly different - and one you may well have considered "happy" - ending may have meant your ruin, or at least a seriously diminished existence for a longtime to come. You are one lucky brother.

This girl was sent to help you transform this area of dwarfism into a titanic strength as truly befits you. Now, we ain't hatin', but in her current incarnation,she is simply not someone any mature man can consider marrying. Not dwarves, not giants and certainly not titans. Don't get me wrong, we want the best for her, we hope she changes, but at this point in time, she is simply wrong.

Could she yet be yours? I feel the chances of that are very slim, but possibly. However, you should not pursue it in any way. Do not, I repeat, do not contact her. Not on her birthday, before her finals, if she breaks a nail, or for any other reason.

If you run into her, be polite, exchange greetings, but do not tarry. Pleasantries sef, are a no,no. And if you can avoid her without being rude, do so. Do not contact or approach her!

If she actively tries to approach or contact you, briefly state "no rancour, but it's best you cease contact". No long-winded explanation, no tori. And afford her that courtesy just the once,then feel free to simply ignore her. You almost got this right at a point.

You need closure of this chapter and to change and grow from this. Hopefully she will to, then maybe at some point down the road, who knows? But like I said, there's only a very slim possibility and I kinda doubt it and intuitively,I don't want it. But who am I?.

And note, all those "small small" encounters you narrated here, demean you and make you sound "untitanic". I repeat, "you are a man", don't live by what you feel, act based on what is right and best. Be considered in your utterances. And as has been advanced a few times already, get on with your life. It's for living, not moping. Time will heal you and I suspect you'll soon get over her.

A few words about the main protagonists;

Your family - rightfully dislike her. You are precious to them and a good bloke. She does not respect you and despises them. They can see her character with clear eyes and are livid at her for humiliating you. If that "slim" possibility ever comes to pass, she'll travail to convince them of her changed character and new found sincerity. And will have to swallow a large helping of humility herself. Don't be surprised if they only warily accept her at best or mobilise every effort to end it. You did nothing wrong by "showing her" to them. You should always do that if it's serious.

Your Ex - flawed, selfish and uncaring. Perhaps just young? Perhaps she's simply not ready for a long-term commitment or marriage at 23. Did you rush her ? Don't be bitter about it or twisted about her. It was for your learning. When you meet a woman that is worthy of you and what you bring, you'll look back and be thankful. You'll look forward and be more appreciative of what you will certainly have.

Your Current - that relationship should be ended or immediately downgraded to platonic friendship. You are in no state for a new relationship. You are not being honest or giving her a fair chance. If she is the serious type and serious about the relationship, again it's best you end it for now. You need time to heal. Let's not heap up heartbreak here.

You - I full expect you to progress from titan to colossus. Kick on from here, build your career.How will quality totty not flock your way? Choose wisely, with your head not your heart. Although your heart may kickstart things. Please come back to tell us all about it. We need some goods news up in here.

Now go get some sleep. As one who's been there, I know how it can mess with your sleep patterns. Bet you went all "hermit like" for a while and lost weight to huh ?

Best
TV

Op I have been in such situation and I know the solution Its simple [size=18pt]Go and get LAID.[/size] It works like magic

I remembered after secondary school I was about 15yrs old. I had a gf then I thought if I didnt see her for one day i would die. I would steal my moms money to buy her gift.

One day I heard she was dating another guy older than me a student of one Polytechnic, Based on tipoff, I went to where she was hanging out with the guy and I saw them kissing. I thought that was the end of the world. Instantly i went and started drinking Paraga and smoking 1 packet of Aspen cigarrete i thought that was the end of the world

Fortunately for me 3 days later I sighted one of my area girls, set parole with her and shaggged her furiously with serious vexation. If you see as my body come down wella, my eyes come clear like Say I dey trance before

That was when I knew that Kongi can do bad things to you. Like 7yrs later I saw the girl she was in another University, Came to my school to get some materials for her project . I was just thinking to myself was this the girl I wanted to kill myself for? She come dey try lollocks me, Well I bunk am that night for My friend house in town on Ede Road. Imagine how I felt at that time the incident happened. Like ChairCover said, you would look back at this thread 2yrs down the line and beg moderators to delete it wondering how stuupid you were in 2012

[size=28pt]MORAL of the story: GET LAID [/size]

A broken relationship is like a shattered glass, its better to walk away than try to gather the pieces, you would only hurt yourself while trying to pick up pieces of an already broken relationship.

Be a Man and Move on, whatever hurts and does not kill you, would only make you stronger.

You would be fine.

So, lorokan you wanno kill yourself ontop woman matter. Abeg do am sharp sharp and write in your will that you will donate all your organs. I have people in need of organs. People begging for a chance at life. Even donate your bones sef, make we take some stem cell from there too. Infact your whole body. So that people desperate to enjoy this sweet life will have a chance. What is your blood type and health condition? Kill yourself because of another human being, while she dey enjoy her life. Guy, how old are you? Maybe na puppy love sha. No go get job you hia! Make you dey write story and love song dey go.

dayokanu: Op I have been in such situation and I know the solution Its simple [size=18pt]Go and get LAID.[/size] It works like magic

I remembered after secondary school I was about 15yrs old. I had a gf then I thought if I didnt see her for one day i would die. I would steal my moms money to buy her gift.

One day I heard she was dating another guy older than me a student of one Polytechnic, Based on tipoff, I went to where she was hanging out with the guy and I saw them kissing. I thought that was the end of the world. Instantly i went and started drinking Paraga and smoking 1 packet of Aspen cigarrete i thought that was the end of the world

Fortunately for me 3 days later I sighted one of my area girls, set parole with her and shaggged her furiously with serious vexation. If you see as my body come down wella, my eyes come clear like Say I dey trance before

That was when I knew that Kongi can do bad things to you. Like 7yrs later I saw the girl she was in another University, Came to my school to get some materials for her project . I was just thinking to myself was this the girl I wanted to kill myself for? She come dey try lollocks me, Well I bunk am that night for My friend house in town on Ede Road. Imagine how I felt at that time the incident happened. Like ChairCover said, you would look back at this thread 2yrs down the line and beg moderators to delete it wondering how stuupid you were in 2012

[size=28pt]MORAL of the story: GET LAID [/size]

ROTFLMAO!!!!

Dead!!!

Nah woman do you like this? So sad. Please grow some balls and stop being a wuss! You should be taking advantage of your new found singleness. Dayokinu has said it all. Go find yourself a new girl! Any woman you aren't married to or related to is not worth much to be honest. If she's a ho, just hit and quit and move on to the next one.

Thank you fellow forumites,
I am indeed greatful for all your advices, and I simply know what exactly 2 do
D NC / No contact from me has been on since January this year till I foolishly allowed
Her back into my head by just receiving that one call from her 2days ago -
I'm much better now and stronger, I'l avoid her call and don't respond 2 her sms
Even on my fast approachin birthday which I'm sure she wud try and strike again
Maybe via sms or calls, concerning my current rlatnshp she is just there and I feel she isn't even
Serious with her own life not 2mention me nor our relatnshp - she has proved that so many times
I have since found new motivation since I broke up wit my ex - money chasing as its since
Required a lot of time from me, I feel I can't give my best 2 any woman again and can't tolerate
Any pranks from them as I have met quite a few girls since my breakup but whenever they
Try acting up, I simply show them d door -

I'm totally fine now forumites, gone are th e days where I took t o drinkin and even tried smoking
As a result of this girl, she tinks she's in charge and control of my life and feelins but too bad
She clearly doesn't knw who I am anymore, Its 6months nw and I don't even know what she looks like anymore
I hardly even know what her voice sounds like, all I remember is we dated for 6yrs and there was someone
Like her once in my life, I had 2 resort t o a life of hate just 2 find myslf bin happy on my own

I believe I stil hate her and I certainly don't wish her well in life and hopes she dies off soonest
(Please don't blame me forumites) she has certainly caused me more pain and harm than good
She knows she can't stand my family and she takes 2 her heels anytime my surname is been mentioned - dats 2 show d gravity of what she has done 2 hurt nt just me but my family.

This used 2b a girl dat cooks 4 my father, and a girl dat my mom shops 4 even she goes 2 school
I'm totally fine now forumites, there was something someone told me - which I would repeat here and was
For every girl out of your life, u are a step closer 2 findin d lucky one
I'm starting not 2 regret leavin this girl as I'm startin 2 c it as my own Good- everyone really saw us as a couple and she messed up and before she ran away 2 port harcourt, she is virtually in hiding each time she's back in town, there is certainly no way we can ever bump into each other again as we are miles apart
And with what I've done over in a few days now especially telling her 2 kindly back off and stop calling me, I really wanna congratulate myslf,I knew she wud never NEVER agree 2 apologize 2 my mom which she clearly showed in her response and claimed 2 have called it quits rite from d first day it was over - looool how hilarious, women can be complicated and confused beings (no offence) 2 d one who knw what dey я doing in life but I thought she told someone she had a bf 2weeks into her arrival in PH and den she kept calling me. As in WTF - I think she tot d grass was greener on d other side but not knowin it was just a reflection of wat she imagined....oh well sorry for d sermom, I'm jst laffin @ my ex dis mornin, she's jst too young and confused and doesn't know what she wwants in life, b4 we broke up - I remember tellin her dat she wud never find sum1 who wud love her or a family dat wud accept her like my family did 2 her and she repeated dat I wud never see a girl dat wud do evrytin 4me like she did 4 me - ask me wat she did, cos she usually helped with some cookin and lil washin for me..lol - I'm a bachelor and since she left, I've bin cookin and doin everytin myslf


What a pathetic looser - punk

^^ lol. I see you're REALLY over her...

Oya sorry, but mehn... Its really taken a toll on you. I dunno what to say sef.. Pele, it can only get better (((hugs)))

Am I really over her

Ofcourse NOT!!

The day when you can't be bothered if she's doing well or not..and you can even wish her well, then you're over her

titans: Am I really over her

Write this 1,000 times in a 60-leaves notebook. By the time you are done, you will be over being over her.

Seriously, you need a vacation.

@Op been there done that, the solution is very simple, you have to bomb that bridge so you can never ever think of crossing it again. Sorry it might sound wicked, but for your peace of mind and in the spirit of moving one, take your phone construct the most distructive text message you can ever send to her, that if she reads it you know there is no chance in hell you 2 will ever get back, send it, sit back relax your new life has started. Except your really low and are a boy not a man, and will go back begging, this will work.

titans: Sad

, op NEVER WORRY BOUT THE PEOPLE IN YOUR PAST THERE IS A REASON WHY THEY DIDN'T MAKE IT TO YOUR FUTURE. In a similar situation so i let go and make lots of friends, mingle and socialise. K? And let it never change the real good person you are. SHE'S NOT WORTH YOUR TEAR OKAY? Take care and be a good boy

Thank you

@poster don't pick her calls. if u receive any sms from her delete as soon as u finish reading so u won't be tempted to reply.don't expect her call on your bday.totally blot the tot of her calling u from ur mind.incase she does end it so she
Will know u deliberating dt want to speak with her.
It will take time before you will totalling forget about her.deep down. you still wish she I'll come back to apologise.time heals all wound.with time she will b history.please don't get into any other relationship for now cos believe me you will not be able to love deeply.
Free your mind of all hurts forgive her.to err is human.to forgive is the fastest way to heal your broken heart.
Don't involve yourself in illicit sex as some posters sugest.it will only worsen issues for you.
Wish you all the best.

Op,

No girl would like to see her man acting like a wussy all those text back and front would give her the impression your life would fold because of her. Despite that you are outside the country and you should have stepped up you are now sobbing, begging even sending text and the girl come dey act up.

I know you might be an affectionate guy but you need to harden up, Where do you live? I can introduce you one chic mary jane. Thats the first step. Weed up and get drunk big time when you are high, You would forget her.

And in the future dont act all that sissy to a girl, It would irritate them and she would think you are a kid . Girls dont like guys who wear their emotions on their sleeves

Why do you want her to apologise to your mum by force by fire? she was cheating on you and all of a sudden, the family got to know and you want her to apologise to your mum? if i were her too, i will not apologise and i will call it quits too. Dude get over her!!!. Whatever you intended having with her will hit the rock anyways, since all your family are involved in the relationship from the onset.

dayokanu: Op,

No girl would like to see her man acting like a wussy all those text back and front would give her the impression your life would fold because of her. Despite that you are outside the country and you should have stepped up you are now sobbing, begging even sending text and the girl come dey act up.

I know you might be an affectionate guy but you need to harden up, Where do you live? I can introduce you one chic mary jane. Thats the first step. Weed up and get drunk big time when you are high, You would forget her.

And in the future dont act all that sissy to a girl, It would irritate them and she would think you are a kid . Girls dont like guys who wear their emotions on their sleeves

This second-round of advice is bad! Lighting up trees can have the exact opposite effect; make him start acting all emotional and st[i]u[/i]pid. I know from experience that smoking trees has different effects on different people.

Pls if u really wanna help u urself
Try to forget her birthday, the day u met, any pleasant moment u ve shared...Don't make d mistake of calling her whether on her bday or anyfin.

And the best way to get distracted is
Try to pay more attention to ur new relationship
-try to love ur new girl, take her out
-spend more time wt d new chick
-make her more interested in U..call her frequently sms her
Finally find somethng to always keep u tight and busy

I once xperience somethng of such those arε the strategies I applied
Trust me my ex still calls me till date

@ronkebp - its not by force which is why she should leave me alone
Cos we clearly don't have any business been together...
I wish you knew how well she trampled upon d rites of my family just because
They choose 2b close 2her...

One question I wanna ask u ronke is - u have brothers and would you and your family
Smile at d fact that their women cheat on your brothers beyond reasonable doubts even before
Their faces and d clues where rite there-

Is that how carefree your family is . .

Ronkebp - I now totally understand what you mean..
And completely see things from your point of view especially
As she's fully aware of d damage she's done even in my absence,
Anyway what I expected was no matter what she should have still apologized
No harm in trying esp when she was once that family's favourite...
If she really cares about me den she wudnt av seen anytin wrong with apologizin,

@rockafella and dayokanu
Thanks 4 both advices but I'm serious fed up wit anytin relationship esp as d new gurl
In question isn't even showin any seriousness - well all d same, I need a vacation

titans: @ronkebp - its not by force which is why she should leave me alone
Cos we clearly don't have any business been together...
I wish you knew how well she trampled upon d rites of my family just because
They choose 2b close 2her...

One question I wanna ask u ronke is - u have brothers and would you and your family
Smile at d fact that their women cheat on your brothers beyond reasonable doubts even before
Their faces and d clues where rite there-

Is that how carefree your family is . .

So and you think that by apologising to them, and they let her in, it would help the situation. What she did, cannot be undone, moreso she does not sound as being remorseful at all, she made the right decision by ending the relationship or else she will be forever ridiculed. Did you listen to her own story to know why she behaved the way she did? how long were you away for?

titans: Ronkebp - I now totally understand what you mean..
And completely see things from your point of view especially
As she's fully aware of d damage she's done even in my absence,
Anyway what I expected was no matter what she should have still apologized
No harm in trying esp when she was once that family's favourite...
If she really cares about me den she wudnt av seen anytin wrong with apologizin,

@rockafella and dayokanu
Thanks 4 both advices but I'm serious fed up wit anytin relationship esp as d new gurl
In question isn't even showin any seriousness - well all d same, I need a vacation

Bros, let it go! She's gone and never coming back! She won't be apologizing either! Life is not fair but it's still your job to get back up on your feet and face life like a man! Haba!

titans: Ronkebp - I now totally understand what you mean..
And completely see things from your point of view especially
As she's fully aware of d damage she's done even in my absence,
Anyway what I expected was no matter what she should have still apologized
No harm in trying esp when she was once that family's favourite...
If she really cares about me den she wudnt av seen anytin wrong with apologizin,

@rockafella and dayokanu
Thanks 4 both advices but I'm serious fed up wit anytin relationship esp as d new gurl
In question isn't even showin any seriousness - well all d same, I need a vacation

Gat you now!!! Anyways, you deserve better than that chic, it is either she is full of pride or too ashamed to face your family in the first place. She chose the easy way out.

Shior.. I thought you contracted AIDS.

^^^^ LMAO @ Shior!!

Loool @ it is either she is full of pride or too ashamed to face your family in the first place. She chose the easy way out.

That totally cracked me up - I was away for a year +
Now I see things from her point of view, I'm nt gna say she's gat pride cos she's nt from a proud family, I tink she jst choose nt 2 apologize 2dem cos she knew she cudnt stand them - eyah so sad and so bad-
Its well,

@denzel - if it were aids - I wud av bin typin frm a prison cell cos she wud av bin dead by nw

Another decison I've made is never 2 date girls who's family can't afford 3 square meals

yeso @titans dont even try it...cos at the tail end of the day she will be collecting from u with the sole aim of spreading across to the entire family meanwhile all the family's responsibilities will be channel to u somehow..and the girl involve wont even acknowledge ur effort.

titans: Another decison I've made is never 2 date girls who's family can't afford 3 square meals

Your story sounds strangely similar to this guy's:

https://www.nairaland.com/869488/after-affair

Didn't you come here to moan about a woman who cheated on you while you were getting your master's a while back? Why did you change your screen name? So you can get fresh, new sympathy? You still haven't gotten over her after all these months! If you're who I think you are, then you've got mental problems. Let this woman go! Bloody stalker!

Hmmmmmm, so guys de love like dis
Op pele o, try n forget her ok, she's nt worth it! cut all ties wt her, be strong n move on. Give urself time b4 going into anoda r/ship, u'll b fine