Nairaland Forum

Mrs.Chima:


If that is the case then a man shouldn't have a problem with his wife telling him he can't have any female friends regardless if these friends were before his wife.

What's good for the goose should be good for the gander.

now that's fair!

Well,I won't say I blame guys who don't subscribe to their wives/girlfriends having male friends.Women are easilly manipulated,mostly by guys with 'sugar coated' tongues.As a guy,I know how many pants I've gotten into just by using sweet words and lots of the girls were dating.However,I allow my girlfriend keep male friends,it's my own way of testing her.If she messes up,it proves she not the right girl or I'm not what she wants.I believe a woman should be able to descipline herself,but if she can't,she goes!

rokiatu: I mean whats up with this? I mean as you tell your bf/husband I have a friend but he is male there whole facial expression change. Is it a crime to have a male friend when you are in a relationship?

rokzy, see, it's not only men, even wild and domestic animals do. The rooster i kept for xmas died untimely last week because of a mere hen where him de follow go sleep for their domot.

Two more dumb arses wrote some of the ignant poo I ever heard.

kilimanjaro: Naturally, we men just don't like seeing our babes with follow men. Simple as ABC.

sir, please speak for yourself. It's the other way round for me. The girl i'm dating can be with her male friends, bring them to her house and she will be cool with it. Dabrake does it and na heavy quarrel. Her reasons : "I trust myself . . . I cant trust any man due to my previous relationships". Very selfish lover but I care less cus after my IT, i'm off.

dabrake: sir, please speak for yourself. It's the other way round for me. The girl i'm dating can be with her male friends, bring them to her house and she will be cool with it. Dabrake does it and na heavy quarrel. Her reasons : "I trust myself . . . I cant trust any man due to my previous relationships". Very selfish lover but I care less cus after my IT, i'm off.

Dude, thatz exactly same wiv ma girlfriend. She does things, wen I do same to her, she gets angry nd overreact... She told me a guy gave her flowers, I acted like nothing happened, few days later I told her my female friend bought me a pair of singlet she wz so mad, she started acting like I committed the biggest crime in the world. She even said "she gave u a Singlet and u collected" ! Women, real selfish lovers!

Do women allow their own husbands have female friends too? silly thread from a cond0m head OP

Inferiority complex.

tiniyata: Do women allow their own husbands have female friends too? silly thread from a cond0m head OP

Exactly what I was thinking right from the first page. This thread is subjective. Some females don't like it too. I may be wrong but I think those who appear to be comfortable with it are only managing it out of maturity which is the best thing to do. Really, it is natural to feel this way towards those you have romantic feelings for but the way you handle it matters.

Ladies can be very emotional, and once they connect emotionally with a male friend- cheating might just look perfect to her.

Boy /male frnd without my aproval? saying it is even as serious as the act. you are maried for Gods sake. Goat and yam can never be kept in d same room if you intend to preserv the yam. dont u guys get this? Ok, tel me you wont hav prob if i tell u i have female friends you dnt know. We have culture u know. 4get ths western bullshit that we ty to emulate to the detriment of our hapiness and peace in mariage.

Good question. My husband is nigerian and I'm literally only friends with his friends and don't go out without them lmao im lucky I have a lot of fun with them. The problem with guys is they don't trust themselves so they can't trust other guys either. They judge other guys on the same standard as themselves. If your mans a cheat hel prob be paranoid about other guys but if he's a good guy hel prob be more free.

90love: Good question. My husband is nigerian and I'm literally only friends with his friends and don't go out without them lmao im lucky I have a lot of fun with them. The problem with guys is they don't trust themselves so they can't trust other guys either. They judge other guys on the same standard as themselves. If your mans a cheat hel prob be paranoid about other guys but if he's a good guy hel prob be more free.

Whether the man is good or not...he is still a man. If he is not honest with his feelings...he will not be honest with his partner or spouse.

Some of these male chatters on this thread displayed a sense of insecurity and jealousy. It is okay for a partner to be jealous that they wants all the attention to themselves, but they must understand that excessive jealousy translates into possessiveness. When you are possessive you smothers your partner or spouse which in return pushes them away.

Balance is the most important measuring factor in any form of relationship and TRUST between the pair goes a long way!

Mrs.Chima:


Whether the man is good or not...he is still a man. If he is not honest with his feelings...he will not be honest with his partner or spouse.

Some of these male chatters on this thread displayed a sense of insecurity and jealousy. It is okay for a partner to be jealous that they wants all the attention to themselves, but they must understand that excessive jealousy translates into possessiveness. When you are possessive you smothers your partner or spouse which in return pushes them away.

Balance is the most important measuring factor in any form of relationship and TRUST between the pair goes a long way!

This is very true possessiveness is a very unatractive trait. Jealousy starts off as something positive to show he cares but this thing can grow and ruin a relationship for real.

rokiatu: I mean whats up with this? I mean as you tell your bf/husband I have a friend but he is male there whole facial expression change. Is it a crime to have a male friend when you are in a relationship?

Go ask your fable Hubby d damn dodgy question.....4 God's sake must u ask create silly threads....pls dont infect dis forum wif ur mindless disproportionalities

Floxyluv: It's not just guys, girls also gets jealous when they see their guys/husband with female friends. It's kindof natural, the only reason a person wont get jealous when he/she see the opposite se.x with his/her spouse, is when there is no feelings attached to their relationship.

Don't mind them. There is no doubt that your wife will interact with other men and vice versa (I am talking of Nigeria O) but that interaction should not be anything more than functional except for her very close male relatives like Father, brothers, and nephews. Your wife should not have male friends- QED!

Floxyluv: It's not just guys, girls also gets jealous when they see their guys/husband with female friends. It's kindof natural, the only reason a person wont get jealous when he/she see the opposite se.x with his/her spouse, is when there is no feelings attached to their relationship.

Case in point....homo sapiens gets jealous period. However....we are focusing on those with manlinesses...big or small.

90love:

This is very true possessiveness is a very unatractive trait. Jealousy starts off as something positive to show he cares but this thing can grow and ruin a relationship for real.

Again....balance is IMPERATIVE.

Floxyluv: It's not just guys, girls also gets jealous when they see their guys/husband with female friends. It's kindof natural, the only reason a person wont get jealous when he/she see the opposite se.x with his/her spouse, is when there is no feelings attached to their relationship.

Oh baby... Come Gimme a Hug for ur clinical response.....Its as simple as dat...no rocket science

WELL, FRIENDSHIP IS GUD PENDING ON D TYPE OF FRIENDSHIP U 'RE TALKING ABOUT. AND IN THIS MATTER, MAURITY MUST SPEAK. BUT IT IS NOT SAFE TO STORE YAMS IN D DOMAIN OF GOATS. YA!

Very interesting thread. I dated a girl for 3 years whilst she was studying at the uni, and complained so much about a male study mate/friend she had, but of course i was categorized as a jealous and overly possessive lover.

I was advice by my friend to be more tolerant and matured about it, just like some ladies here are insinuating. so i fell for that cheese.

I was in the middle of a meeting at work when she mistakenly dialed my number and this was the conversation that ensued.

My girl >> fun mi ni fonu mi (give me my phone)
Male friend >> mo ni fun e, mo ma delete number e (I'm not gonna give you, i will delete his number)
My girl >> ma delete nomba e >> (dont delete his number)

this argument went on for like 2 mins whilst they were dragging the phone. The call ended and the phone rang again after like 6 mins or so, they were laughing hysterically at the background with her laptop music blasting, so i could barely hear them.

I took some time off work, didnt tell her i was coming and off i went with my car on an evening trip from Lagos blasting my full CD of Don Moen to Akure with several thoughts on my mind. It was like 5 hours journey because of redeem camp crazy traffic, so i got to her school around 10:40 pm.

She was living in a fenced private student apartment with an Ondo security man. To cut the tory short, i yan with baba for like 8-10 mins who initially refused to let me in because it was late, so i sacrificed like 4000 naira, baba was like "uncle emi ni nko egberun merin in a strong ondo dialect (uncle, only me, you gave me 4000 naira). So baba told me that her friend was inside and he thinks she is not sleeping yet since her bulb was still on. The news of my girl friend locked in a room with a male friend at an ungodly hour almost made me run mad. At that point, i was confused whether to knock or snoop around, i was pacing around the room looking for a little hole or something to peep through, so finally i went to the back of the bungalow and saw baba taking water from the water well to have his bath with his ancient torch light, so i whispered to him to put it off.

I climbed on a little block and peeping from the toilet segment of the house, my girl was having a Unclad hot romantic bath with her friend kissing and smooching, the shock shook me off my feet and the fragile block shattered into pieces.
it took me like 5 mins to find a plank to stand on, i watched more and wanted to record it but the blue ray screen of my phone could cause problem and i even had to switch it off right in my pocket to avoid incoming calls or anything.

After everything, i told baba not to inform her and never to, so i drove to royal bird hotel or something, cant remember the name correctly again, its been years. i slept in the hotel and hit lagos next morning.

Now come the confrontation; i sent her sms, why are u cheating on me when am not, for fear of losing me she almost swore with the bible and her late mother but later confessed crying profusely, the confrontation lasted for like 1 hour with exchange of sms only, and it was obvious she couldn't stand my voice.

i have since moved on with my life but unfortunately she hasn't.

So my point is guys should never be blamed for cringing at the idea of a female/male friendship, half the time it always almost wholly turns out bad

I will be back to read later.

Rokiatu, do come back and read. The guy theif my kele but i no mind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=gawr1s52Tbc