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Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 7:20pm On May 21, 2012
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by dannywest: 7:41pm On May 21, 2012
Ruthabokoku: Thank you all ever so much.
I have been reading all day and smiling but at work so could not reply.. CC you are not my aunty but my mother,some of the things you have said on here, my folks didnt even say to me. God bless you and yours.
I remain positive.

I just feel the need to defend him a bit in light of what the thread has become. Just for the sake of the future, what if he sees this someday?.

He is not lazy or relaxed about the whole situation, infact he worries day and night and I catch him looking into thin air all the time searching for what is not lost ...lol. I only feel he is in a wrong environment, one that he is not used to and has been unable to penetrate.

Years ago, before I met him he ran a successful business that went down the drain. He still has the company papers and some documents he shows me to prove it. Things went the order way and he lost all (long story). His longtime girlfirend left him and he sold what he had left and moved to another city thats where we met. Infact we joke about it and I say so you have made money before and I have never enjoyed your money and he replies that you would soon enjoy it and be tired. He started hustling and doing all sorts of business to make money (nothing bad) and by the time I met him he had bought a new car (toks o..lol) and was saving money to get a place. According to him, he bought the car first in order to move around easily. At that time he was staying with a friend. As for me, I would not lie I met someone with a bit of potential that I fell in love with and married him. He got a small place before we got married and we moved in. After a few months we moved to a bigger place. I was working and he was still hustling,selling all kinds of things, doing middleman for businesses etc. I would not say all was rosy because we were still managing but at least we were fine.

We relocated due to some reasons (I wont be tempted to share..lol) and obviously he is not used to this UK system, hence the position he is in. I encourage him all the time to think of what he can do to supplement the income but he tells me he is thinking, but if you ask him of what he can do in Nigeria, he has a long list. The not wanting to be seen in places issue as to do with people he knows back home, he has friends and past clients that visit and all that kind of thing (to be honest, I don't blame him)

Therefore, I came on here to seek advice on how to move ahead so we can at least increase our income and save enough money to return to Nigeria where I know he can excel.

To the law degree and accountancy, thanks for your advice but it did make me chuckle. Infact it made my day, I am my hubby's PA as he calls me o, I fill all his forms and pay all the bills. He is no good with computers and books o.

Once again guys I really appreciate the prayers, something +ve happened today, I received an invitation to a test from one of the coys I have been applying to and I believe this is due to all that happened over the weekend. I am someone that believes God answers some people's prayers more than others and he must have heard the cry of you guys. I am positive about this job.

God bless us all.


I've nothing to contribute here as I'm far from married, but when I do get married, I pray its to someone like you.
Your husband is like fish out of water, Nigeria might favour him more.

1 Like

Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by norrisman: 7:43pm On May 21, 2012
To all the morons cussing OP's husband, life is not ABC. In real life, 2 + 2 hardly ever gives you 4. It somtimes give you 0 or sometimes 10.

3 Likes

Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by debosky(m): 7:50pm On May 21, 2012
chaircover:

Not you as well. Abeg when will people stop this madam cc business especially the ones who are only a year younger than me cool

Debo how can I forget that thead? Jenny and I nearly got e-lynched for saying that we sometimes miscalculate our husbands money. I beg Lets move on swiftly. I can still feel the fire . . .My brazillian got burnt grin grin grin

One year ke? Madam Iyalaje Mother-in-Israel CC? You fit born me oh! cheesy
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 7:53pm On May 21, 2012
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by dayokanu(m): 7:57pm On May 21, 2012
David, Jenny.


I think i disagree with you. Several times lifr throws curve balls and you cant predict where you would be the following day

I know several people with plum jobs that lost it and never recovered for life.

I know a friends brother who was a Manager at Oceanic always flying his family for vacation to UK etc that got laid off and cant just get back on his feet he now teaches at primary schools making less than 40K naira a month

Would you now say he wasnt educated, smart or was he lazy?

I know a person who had a BS and MS in Engineering from the best Universities in the UK way back in the 1970's lost his top management job in Nigeria in 1994 and never got anything till date after pushing buttons and going everywhere

Those two examples are ppl properly educated and hardworking but life just happened. Would you be wrong to have given your daughter in marriage to either of them?

The husband might have been a top exec in Nigeria when they were getting married.

Imagine a couple a Top Banker marries a Nursing school graduate in Nigeria, The man would be earning like time 5 of whatever the woman earns now both of them migrate to the West US, UK etc chances are that due to the demands of the new society the woman might be the one earning more money

So the champions of yesterday has become the Sluggard of today and vice versa, Thats life

2 Likes

Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by debosky(m): 8:08pm On May 21, 2012
chaircover: Because I have a teen, you people think that I was born in the old Testament grin Thank God Mr CC still sees me as his sisi ologe grin grin grin

Opelope Mr CC. . . .I hear say na you deliver Isaac for Sarah sef. cheesy
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by xyloxloto(m): 8:17pm On May 21, 2012
constructive and good advice from you all i read all what everyone has contributed i am really happy knowing there are nice matured people here that can offer good advice to the poster God bless everyone of you. and to ruth it is well take heart you are a good wife to your husband please continue showing him all the love and support he needs you more now than ever i feel for him as well just hope for the best for him God bless.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by eureka: 8:18pm On May 21, 2012
Hello madam I will give you wise counnsel that has never embarrassed me in the last 15 years. PLEASE PAY YOUR TITHE. The God we serve(the father of Jesus) is not a God of chance. In 3 months let me have progress report email-olucinda@yahoo.com

4 Likes

Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by xyloxloto(m): 8:19pm On May 21, 2012
norrisman: To all the morons cussing OP's husband, life is not ABC. In real life, 2 + 2 hardly ever gives you 4. It somtimes give you 0 or sometimes 10.
true talk bruv
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by vizion: 8:38pm On May 21, 2012
Ruthabokoku: Hello guys,

New user here but has a burden.
I have been married to my hubby for a couple of years, we live abroad and things are not and have never been rosy.
Since I married him we have always struggled. We both have jobs but just manage to get by each month. We have loads of plans but never have excess cash.
He is a wonderful man and I love him so much but he is quite old and I am getting scared that things might keep going on like this.
Sometimes I think it is spiritual because this is what they call hand to mouth with no spare cash.
I would like to know if anyone has been through or is going through this?. How did you overcome this? share your testimony to encourage me to keep hoping. Please give advise on what we can do.

P.s I have a masters degree, I do small business with my job. Hubby is hard working and can do anything for his family but without a great job. We have 2 kids and do everything together including planning our finances.

During my IT days, i was though by my boss to always pay myself when i get money. By this he meant i should keep aside a percentage of my earnings.

things to remember

1) your income next month may double, but if ur not careful ur expenditure may triple still leaving you in deficit

2) you may suffer shortfall in income next month, but if you plan well would still get by (just trying to say u can still make a savings from your current income)

3) those who spend money without thinking, got to that stage by thinking how they spent their initial earnings
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 9:14pm On May 21, 2012
chaircover: Ruth Sweetheart Big hugs to you. You are a good woman and You will reap the fruit of your labour soonest Amen.

You will get that job by the Grace of God but my main prayer for you is that your husband will very soon be earning a lot more than you no matter how big a salary that you are earning Amen. There will come a point when you will be raiding his wallet and "borrowing" money from him that you have no intention of returning cool grin

Just hang in there love. All will be well kiss


that part got me...wink cheesy cheesy cheesy
You are a blessing, CC.

@Ruth, Praying to God to give you your heart desires and grant your requests in Jesus name. Amen. O ga dinma...
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by redsun(m): 9:34pm On May 21, 2012
You guys have a great chance in your country of origin.With knowledge,experience,hard work and good drives,you will be able to create ample lots of opportunities in undeveloped world like nigeria.All you need to do is just take a dive,it is risk worth taking.

Living in europe or america as an africans is a vicious circle of hand to mouth.The money you get is disigned to be absurbed by the system.There is no explosion,there is no fulfillment,there is no game"" to play.Just working for people and nobody is working for you.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by mbulela: 10:15pm On May 21, 2012
dayokanu: David, Jenny.


I think i disagree with you. Several times lifr throws curve balls and you cant predict where you would be the following day

I know several people with plum jobs that lost it and never recovered for life.

I know a friends brother who was a Manager at Oceanic always flying his family for vacation to UK etc that got laid off and cant just get back on his feet he now teaches at primary schools making less than 40K naira a month

Would you now say he wasnt educated, smart or was he lazy?

I know a person who had a BS and MS in Engineering from the best Universities in the UK way back in the 1970's lost his top management job in Nigeria in 1994 and never got anything till date after pushing buttons and going everywhere

Those two examples are ppl properly educated and hardworking but life just happened. Would you be wrong to have given your daughter in marriage to either of them?

The husband might have been a top exec in Nigeria when they were getting married.

Imagine a couple a Top Banker marries a Nursing school graduate in Nigeria, The man would be earning like time 5 of whatever the woman earns now both of them migrate to the West US, UK etc chances are that due to the demands of the new society the woman might be the one earning more money

So the champions of yesterday has become the Sluggard of today and vice versa, Thats life
The way you make sense sometimes just amazes me.
If only you will be serious more often.

1 Like

Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by cotton101(f): 10:18pm On May 21, 2012
Madam CC - u are dashing cake baking equipment out without consulting me.

I said it - as soon as I don't post for 2 weeks people on NL will forget me.

As for the poster don't know what advice to give you. Look into tax credits look for anything to increase ur income without taking u away from ur children (extremely hard I know)
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by mbulela: 10:21pm On May 21, 2012
@Ruth, whatever steps you settle on,it should not be at the detriment of the family life you seem to have. I may not have gone through all your posts but it seems you have a happy home devoid of plenty money. Believe me that is more than all the money in the world can buy. Make sure you preserve that while exploring all the possible options discussed here.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by mbulela: 10:35pm On May 21, 2012
redsun: You guys have a great chance in your country of origin.With knowledge,experience,hard work and good drives,you will be able to create ample lots of opportunities in undeveloped world like nigeria.All you need to do is just take a dive,it is risk worth taking.

Living in europe or america as an africans is a vicious circle of hand to mouth.The money you get is disigned to be absurbed by the system.There is no explosion,there is no fulfillment,there is no game"" to play.Just working for people and nobody is working for you.
with 2 children under 5, i don't think it is a risk worth taking. As long as they can pay their bills, i think it is better outside now for them.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by mbulela: 10:37pm On May 21, 2012
eureka: Hello madam I will give you wise counnsel that has never embarrassed me in the last 15 years. PLEASE PAY YOUR TITHE. The God we serve(the father of Jesus) is not a God of chance. In 3 months let me have progress report email-olucinda@yahoo.com
I would not want to derail this thread, as much as i am a tither too, i do not agree that it is a money doubling scheme.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by redsun(m): 11:12pm On May 21, 2012
mbulela:
with 2 children under 5, i don't think it is a risk worth taking. As long as they can pay their bills, i think it is better outside now for them.

Then they gonna have to wait for their lottery ticket to come through for their breakthrough.They don't have to make the move at the same time.One of them can make the first move to lay the foundation and smooth ground,while the other remains abroad with the children and supports the one in the field whichever way possible,until something tangible gains groud for them to move back fully.It doesnt have to be conglomerate business but sustainable and essential businesses that the people need to survive.

The heavens are open in africa,especially nigeria.That is it is so painful that these animals have come with their dangerous and retrogresive ideology of bombing at this point in time.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 11:32pm On May 21, 2012
chaircover: Jenny, you will be surprised at the number of people who jointly dont earn up to £4200 a month. How many Nigerian Doctors are around compared to the total number of immigrants. What the poster is going thorough is not uncommon, she just has to find a way round it.

Go to any care home, factory, shop, office job etc and you will see thousands of Nigerians working there. I dont have stats but It wouldn't surprise me if only about 10-20% of the total Nigerian immigrants are in the 40% tax bracket.

shocked shocked shocked
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by teeflak(m): 11:38pm On May 21, 2012
Great story lady! I would want you to consider network marketing. There are several of them out there like A2W, Green world, Forever living products and you can build a stable income out of it if you just dedicate a little of your time to it.All the best and God bless
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 11:49pm On May 21, 2012
A part of all you earn is yours to keep, and if you cannot save money, the seeds of greatness are not in you.--- W. Clement Stone.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by cfours: 12:02am On May 22, 2012
The average income for a British family with two adults working is £40,000 a year.
£4200 a month is about £50,000 per year. That's plenty to me by UK standards...
someone correct me if i'm wrong.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by mbulela: 12:02am On May 22, 2012
redsun:

Then they gonna have to wait for their lottery ticket to come through for their breakthrough.They don't have to make the move at the same time.One of them can make the first move to lay the foundation and smooth ground,while the other remains abroad with the children and supports the one in the field whichever way possible,until something tangible gains groud for them to move back fully.It doesnt have to be conglomerate business but sustainable and essential businesses that the people need to survive.

The heavens are open in africa,especially nigeria.That is it is so painful that these animals have come with their dangerous and retrogresive ideology of bombing at this point in time.
they must not wreck their family life in the name of making it big. it is not worth it. If they have to live from hand to mouth while maintaining a quality family life,i'll say let it be. All this money dem dey carry am go grave? I think it ain't worth it.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by bandely(m): 12:47am On May 22, 2012
Nice thread, very educative. OP, please I need to find out something from you. You can drop your email or send me one at bamsdell11<at>yahoo.com
Thanks.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Freesia(f): 1:22am On May 22, 2012
Ruth you shall be hearing the good news soon IJN.

@ Aunt CC,Debosky & Dayo you have all said it well.No amout of advance planning of the future is guaranteed.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Lisa1: 1:46am On May 22, 2012
Knowledge is power of course, but there is a difference between someone just taking a course in his spare time to expand his knowledge and someone going on a course to get a specific job at the end of it.[img]http://www.50centloseweight.com[/img]
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 3:31am On May 22, 2012
teeflak: Great story lady! I would want you to consider network marketing. There are several of them out there like A2W, Green world, Forever living products and you can build a stable income out of it if you just dedicate a little of your time to it.All the best and God bless

The word "stable" should not be associated with pyramid schemes.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 4:42am On May 22, 2012
Dayo, good examples but that is one reason why we Nigerians make make mistakes financially. How can a man who earns millions every month not have an investment on the side? When you get laid off work you cry foul. I know of many Nigerians who work in top oil companies like chevron who are landlords and estate owners. If their job disappoints them They have something to fall back on.

Let me use CC for example, she has a shop in Nigeria that is growin strong, she also works part time in the Uk. God forbid something happens to her job in the UK, she has a successful shop to fall back on.

The problem we Nigerians have is putting all our eggs in one basket and praying to and hopin on God that, that basket does not disappoint us.

Financial Planning is were a lot of us fail as Nigerians. Heaven helps those that help themselves. Don't rely on your bible to give you manna, gt your hands busy with a lot of things and let God take it up from there.

Excuse my errors. I am mobile

1 Like

Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by brabus(m): 5:30am On May 22, 2012
Thanks to everyone who has contributed to this wonderful thread.

@OP, this is the time your husband needs you most. Be there for him and God will see you through.

@all, In life we often make plans for future and we foolishly assume that it is we who can decide and control our future but one thing I do know is that God upsets our plans so that we can put him first.

I have a story to support this. My sister only worked 1 year after her youth service in Nigeria as a Lab Technician and was able to genuinely (she's a born-again christian) save money to finance her husband relocation to UK and put up a house and roof it. Her husband came to relocate the family shortly after to the UK in search of greener pasture. It is 8 years after they'd relocated to UK (even with higher qualifications and better job in UK), the house hasn't been completed. And the story is not different from what I read above. They can barely survive. It was another story of 'had I known'

The moral of this story is that God laughs when we make plans. Proverbs 16:9
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 5:34am On May 22, 2012
Nice suggestions all around.

I used to live in the UK and even as a citizen i still had to work extra hard to live a comfy life even with a post grad.

Anyway, my family and I relocated to Nigeria some years back and i must confess, no regrets.
I suggest you start keeping in touch with your Naija pals, especially those in the corporate world.
Start looking for naija jobs online too.

You don't need much money and formalities in starting a biz here unlike abroad. All you need is a hustling spirit which your husband has already.
Your husband could go into business while you do the office work.

If you're lucky to get a good job you'll knock yourself over and over again for not relocating earlier.
Most corporate work is just weekdays and you don't need more than one job.

In the UK those who work are suffering while those on benefits are having a ball. How laughable.

The only thing you'll miss is a system that works.
Over here you have to suffer things like unstable light, bad roads etc. I guess you can't have it all.

Anyways, i just thought i should bring in the Naija angle considering it's working for me.
I know you said you don't have the money to relocate but i just felt you might want to hear from one who has tasted both worlds.

Ignore my post if it's totally out of line with what you want.
Good luck and God be with you.

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