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Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. - Family (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 8:24am On May 23, 2012
davidylan:

My bros na you biko. My people here are busy quoting bible. Make i quote my own bible for them - 2 Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

Bible will send down the manna they need. Instead of them to be out doing something and getting a life. They are busy mentioning Gods name like he will come down to "work" for them grin
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by moremi2008(m): 8:39am On May 23, 2012
Jenny's point-of-view is a little short-sighted here. Plans get derailed all the time and nobody is immune to the occasional upheaval. Yes, planning well is critical to minimize but NOT eliminate all disruptions.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by nikkygal(f): 8:39am On May 23, 2012
davidylan:

My bros na you biko. My people here are busy quoting bible. Make i quote my own bible for them - 2 Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.

temi777: @op I live in the UK. I came in my early twenties so I guess I dont have the same experience as your husband but my dear I think your husband has been
taking it too easy. I know a woman who only did cleaning for like 10 years, bought two houses in UK and 1 in Naija, with nearly 10 years of the mortgage now paid. Even if your husband is doing early morning cleaning self he will make far more than £400 net a week. I wont call him lazy but id say he is too laid back. He is 40+, so what I know 50+ that are changing careers, cant he do PGCE for one year and go and teach.
I earn £350 a day but I still have a minicab licence and I have PGCE so I am also licenced to teach because I know you never know in life.
He should get off his ass madam, learn plumbing or hairdressing. I pay my barber £10 for less than 30 minutes job and the guy is always blasting music, chatting and enjoying himself while working which is like fun self, sometimes even me that is IT guy I envy him. if your man is that good with his hands, even minicabbing will give him more than £400-£500 a week and free up more money you are using for childcare and transportation cost. that is easily an extra £500 or more a month as it is very flexible or even he can drive London bus. My dear your husband im afraid is lazy. Even when I was a student I earned more than £200 a week so he is making excuses.
haba! cant he do minicab by night and estate agent etc by day? incredible!
To say that he is proud is laughable. what is more humiliating than being broke? abeg owo igbe kii run. People will respect you in UK or Naija if you drive a brand new car(meant to say if you have your money) regardless how you made it. Naijas with fake pride, let him not ruin your children's future jare. if he even becomes a full west end taxi driver he is guaranteed £50000 a year which government cannot monitor. o ga o.
He should be too proud for £200 a week and besides stores jobs are for students/newcomers, they can never sustain a family


Preach! Preach! He who has ears, let him hear. . . .It's almost common place to see most people in the UK working a minimum of 2 jobs or at least having a side hustle all in a bid to sustain their families. There's no pride in hustling to make your end's meet,infact it's even extremely humiliating for a man not to be able to play his role as being the main provider for his family. Coupled with the fact that he's not so good with 'books' or 'academics', then he better be ready to use his hands....lol! Something must just give! I know so many people doing the care job, riding cabs, barbing etc all as a side hustle in the UK just in a bid to make ends meet.

Infact, i have a friend that resigned from one of the big 5 IOCs without a solid back-up plan and went back to school for his masters in the UK.On completion, he couldn't get a job, after waiting like 9 months and several applications with nothing forthcoming, homeboy went to learn plumbing lipsrsealed shocked . . Nobody told him before he packed his pride aside smiley forgetting he was an ex-Lagos Oil company big boy....lol! That was what helped him through for the next 1yr, before he eventually got into another IOC here in Nigera.

A word is enough for the wise!
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 8:52am On May 23, 2012
Moremi

Let me explain my point of view on this thread. Say a man makes 5million naira a month workin as a top exec in one of them big companies. Lives in a company provided accommodation, takes his family on vac every year. If he loses his job and has nothing on the side not even his own house, would you not blame him for being stooopid? Maybe it is the Igbo blood in me but I cannot be earnibg say for example 20k dollars a month plus my husbands own salary and not take the risk of investing one quarter of my income somewhere else.

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Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 8:53am On May 23, 2012
I love this thread though and nothing is goin to distract me cool

1 Like

Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by moremi2008(m): 9:36am On May 23, 2012
jennykadry: Moremi

Let me explain my point of view on this thread. Say a man makes 5million naira a month workin as a top exec in one of them big companies. Lives in a company provided accommodation, takes his family on vac every year. If he loses his job and has nothing on the side not even his own house, would you not blame him for being stooopid? Maybe it is the Igbo blood in me but I cannot be earnibg say for example 20k dollars a month plus my husbands own salary and not take the risk of investing one quarter of my income somewhere else.


You make a good point (that I strongly agree with) but I think this example is not very relevant to this particular thread. I honestly don't see how you can accuse the woman's husband of poor financial planning when he never had tons of excess disposable income to begin with.

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Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Tgirl4real(f): 9:43am On May 23, 2012
jennykadry: Moremi

Let me explain my point of view on this thread. Say a man makes 5million naira a month workin as a top exec in one of them big companies. Lives in a company provided accommodation, takes his family on vac every year. If he loses his job and has nothing on the side not even his own house, would you not blame him for being stooopid? Maybe it is the Igbo blood in me but I cannot be earnibg say for example 20k dollars a month plus my husbands own salary and not take the risk of investing one quarter of my income somewhere else.

I would. Datz y I often wonder whhy fat salary earning bankers get broke weeks after they are laid off. If u see dem months later, fear go catch u. A wise man saves for the rainy day.

Jenny ur post caught ma attention. I need to go back and read d thread. cheesy
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 9:44am On May 23, 2012
No you people are getting me wrong on this thread. My post on planning is for everyone who thinks God will gt them a job without them trying, its for those making excuses For men who Held top management positions, lost theirr jobs and now living hand to mouth.It Is not for the OP or her husband alone. I was just making a general statement. The one of care workers is the one directed at the op's husband. He needs to buckle up and go look for any kind of work to help his wife. She should not be working twice as much because someone has refused to do all sorts of odd job. He is a nice man no doubt, I just think he shouldn't let pride take control of his life.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by jaybee3(m): 10:04am On May 23, 2012
@OP
You should be getting some sort of help from the government based on your stated combined salary (tax credits/child benefits et al)
What sort of experience do you or your hubby have? Can you share, if yes send me an email as we might be able to work something out on the job front as long as you guys are legal residents.

1 Like

Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by debosky(m): 10:17am On May 23, 2012
Nice one jaybee

Can folk please stop pontificating on this thread? Yes we know - some plan better and hence have better outcomes than those who don't plan. Yet there are many who do plan but still fall on hard times due to the vagaries of life. There's no point 'accusing' the hubby of poor planning or 'justifying' his situation by the fact life can happen to anyone - all that is history and changes nothing at the moment.

What is needed is useful ideas to generate an income for the family, not endless finger pointing.

OP please tell your husband to consider the various options here - minicab driving for one seems to be reasonably profitable. Especially with the Olympics coming up, it might be quite beneficial.

5 Likes

Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by luckgames(m): 6:50pm On May 23, 2012
[quote author=dayokanu]JK,

The point is that regardless of the plan you make things can still happen. The Zenith banker with a Shop in Alaba can lose his job and within 6months, The Govt seize his container he borrowed to ship. Would you call that laziness or lack of planning?

The people who invested in properties, You know some ppl invested in Properties and El Rufai or AbdulKarim Adisa just sent bulldozers there one day and destroyed everything, Would you say they lacked planning?

What of people who invested heavily in the stock market and the recession swept away their money?

No one in the world is secured from shocks It can happen in Nigeria, It can happen in America[
/quote]

In my last three transaction Hoping to pull money from Stock market like 21, 15 and 10
I always fall short but i had help from a friend and my brother
Diversification will help
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by rakumiii(m): 9:45pm On May 23, 2012
Ruthabokoku: Thanks guys..I can't thank you enough.
I am noting down all the suggestions.

I have thought of so many things in line with your suggestions chair cover. I thought of cupcakes, making soup and stew for bachelors etc. The wedding decorations would still take me out of my house on saturday so amm I not better off getting a job from like 10 to 3 and hope for like £50 every saturday. I like the part that you prayed that we won't compromise on anything becaue it is so hard. I now understand why some girls want to marry rich men and I can't judge them.
MY hubby is good with his hands, he barbs his and our son's hair and it look's like A professional did it, he is also good with house fixing and furniture. I tell him how can you have such talents and we are suffering, I guess we don't know how to begin.I am ready to hustle and work my head off which is what I have always done but still worried about the future. These days we have 30 years olds that are already senior managers and u just wish it was your hubby.
After all has been said, I guess the next step is to try and get extra income, save and start a business that can help us achieve our dreams.
I know I can excel in my career because I am searching for jobs with Msc qualification which I got from here(my folks paid) and I know it would come but I am worried about my hubby.

@Jenny, unfortunately its a month's wages o. I earn £1300 and he earns £800 for now.



I know its hard at the moment but I think your husband possesses a skill that is not typical of a lot of Nigerians. If he is a good handyman like you think, in order to make it legal and more professional, he should go get certified or get some hands-on training as an HandyMan.

He can even chose specialist jobs like fixing A/C & Heaters, Plumbing, Painter etc.............Some of these guys make more than 100k a year..


I guarantee if you guys advertise all over church and to everyone you know, he will start getting work.


PLEASE DO NOT LOOK AT THIS JOB AS DEGRADING AND DONT WONT YOUR FRIENDS TO KNOW HE IS A HANDYMAN..............Those guys especially the Mexicans in the US drive the best cars and their wives never work.


Get you husband to look into this skill and you guys will be singing a different tune within a year.


Good luck and God bless.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by moHot(f): 1:33am On May 24, 2012
Hmmm. If i can see more of threads like this maybe i wnt b thinkn of leavin nairaland. @RUTH., i dnt know how to start praying 4u. U re indeed a priceless jewel, JISIKE pls be strong,am sure u know it can get better. I dnt wnt to start pointing accusing fingers at anyone the reality on ground now is dat u re tryin 2 beta ur means of livelihood. U hv gotten series of advices nd i kn. U re smart enuf 2 kn. D ones to pick. God bless u. NAIJA GIRLS ARE NOT THAT BAD AFTERALL

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Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by oyinema(f): 9:18am On May 25, 2012
OP, Good morning. My first advice to you is - Ignore anybody who says your husband is not man enough. We all do not have the same zeal and drive to achieve. It is not written in stone that the man should always earn more than the woman!

Please don't have anymore children, go see your nurse and get some form of contraceptive.

Have you thought of moving out of London? Accommodation and transport will be much cheaper. I know you don't want to spend more time away from your children but it might be helpful to get a Saturday job for extra pay. You say your husband is helpful around the house, use it to your advantage. Do you know how to make hair? I survived on that for the first 2 years I spent in the UK. He can look after the kids while you make hair and it'll be in your place so no need to pay transport. Let your husband pack in his job and do handy work since he's good at it. We just tiled our kitchen, just 2 walls and it cost us £350 for 2 days work. I will be tiling the bathroom this weekend myself!

A friend was in the same situation as you. Her husband is very laid back. They also have 5 children and earn just under £2500 between them until she decided to retrain and become a nurse. They also moved to the midlands. He's still in the same kind of job with rubbish pay but she's earning well and they are getting by. She said she will do anything to lift him as he is responsible for who she is today. She married at 20, he saw her through a degree and masters before they relocated to the UK. Even in Nigeria, he worked in the ministry so has always been that way. She has accepted him for who he is. She has the drive and ambition and that sustains them!

I pray your home will remain peaceful, happy and that there will always be a testimony on your lips!

4 Likes

Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Cleverley(m): 7:18pm On May 25, 2012
I learnt alot reading ruth post and some noteable advice from some folks here. I most comment ruth and advice her to be careful with some post belitling the capacity of her husband. Take some valuable points here and discuss it mutually with ur hubby. I bet u he will give it a try. Good thinking, Good product. Best of luck ruth woman of virtue. NB. Also invest wisely nt only saving okay
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by mystikal(m): 8:53am On May 26, 2012
Thread of the Year!

@Poster. Look into the barbing issue seriously.

1 Like

Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by tpia5: 12:33pm On Oct 31, 2013
Interesting thread.
Re: Couples Please Encourage Me With Your Financial Struggles Stories. by Nobody: 9:23am On Nov 01, 2013
Wao! This thread really rocks!
Never knew I can c threads like this here.

D contributions r xcellent!

So real and practical.

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