Ishilove:
Lol. Shawa is a low grade, oily, soft and tasteless fish.

Mmm... Ok.
*tucks it away for future use*

Ishilove:
Hm,the gist too plenty. Where I wan start? My one year in that tiny village was something else. A mix of the pleasant and unpleasant,

Do I talk about the numerous 'respectable' men that didn't give me breathing space because I was wearing the FG's cheap asss green khaki? Or the uncountable queries I wrote due to my insufferably laid back attitude? How about the students I taught who were only interested in cocoa farming and marrying,to hell with you,you bloody corper, thank you very much.

Where do I start from,Idowu?

Girl

You've got the ingredients (plots) for a series of good stories. Pls continue. I hope you don't mind my saying so, but there are too many side comments. Comments which are detracting from the main story itself.

~ Number 1 Commander(ess)-in-charge-chief culprit is Idowugbo!

~ Deputy derailer: Bobo Yekini

~ Assistant-up-coming detractor: Kay9

Efemena_xy:

Girl

You've got the ingredients (plots) for a series of good stories. Pls continue. I hope you don't mind my saying so, but there are too many side comments. Comments which are detracting from the main story itself.

~ Number 1 Commander(ess)-in-charge-chief culprit is Idowugbo!

~ Deputy derailer: Bobo Yekini

~ Assistant-up-coming detractor: Kay9

Lol. I know what you mean, dear. Well, I was kind of enjoying the side talk. Its like a short pause in a narration; you fill in the pause with all sorts then continue the narration thereafter.

Not to worry, because of you I will not allow the chronic derailers hijack the thread . Its a solemn promise

Kay9, BoboYekini and Idowuogbo, you are warned!!!

Efemena_xy:

Girl

You've got the ingredients (plots) for a series of good stories. Pls continue. I hope you don't mind my saying so, but there are too many side comments. Comments which are detracting from the main story itself.

~ Number 1 Commander(ess)-in-charge-chief culprit is Idowugbo!

~ Deputy derailer: Bobo Yekini

~ Assistant-up-coming detractor: Kay9

Yeripàripa! Police don land o!

Ishi abeg continue b4 dem arrest us o! As I dey I ain't gats no particulars.

^^

I dont like this girl called Efemena, she's always busting my balls. The poor things hurt. Efemena is an eja shawa.

kay9: I dont like this girl called Efemena, she's always busting my balls. The poor things hurt. Efemena is an eja shawa.

Lol.
Pack the balls in ice and thereafter massage 'em with Aboniki balm

She'll just bust 'em all ova again, my tender tenders. I need a restraining order... Where's a mod when u need one?
So... ever needed a restraining order at umm, whatisname again, wasami?

kay9: She'll just bust 'em all ova again, my tender tenders. I need a restraining order... Where's a mod when u need one?
So... ever needed a restraining order at umm, whatisname again, wasami?

No. But I've had a government convoy drop me at my doorstep

kay9: I dont like this girl called Efemena, she's always busting my balls. The poor things hurt. Efemena is an eja shawa.

!

kay9: She'll just bust 'em all ova again, my tender tenders. I need a restraining order... Where's a mod when u need one?
So... ever needed a restraining order at umm, whatisname again, wasami?

Oya open up a thread and tell us about your experiences on Brass Island. I'm curious.
Brass Island, is that the southern most part of Rivers State?

efe's jealous ni jor. We had a thing awhile back.

Efemena_xy:

!





Oya open up a thread and tell us about your experiences on Brass Island. I'm curious.
Brass Island, is that the southern most part of Rivers State?

No o! na island for Tobago! kay69 i lie?

BoboYekini: efe's jealous ni jor. We had a thing awhile back.

Tru o! i remember wen u guys were playing hide and seek Nazi style bck den.

hmmmm... it was bombastic!

So what happened to scatter the love?

^ talking to moi? mannerless peri peri chicken

Cant u greet ni? come on lie down and greet d mademoiselle

Id, i'm nat talking ta you!

shebi u've been snubbing me since

BoboYekini: Id, i'm nat talking ta you!

BoboYekini: shebi u've been snubbing me since

wot? wetin i does? u cant b angry wiv a celeb na! oya wa fi ori lemi ni...

Idowuogbo:
No o! na island for Tobago! kay[b]69[/b] i lie?

''69''? Why do i feel like u said that delibrately? Out of the abundance of the heart...

BoboYekini: efe's jealous ni jor. We had a thing awhile back.

Idowuogbo:
Tru o! i remember wen u guys were playing hide and seek Nazi style bck den.

hmmmm... it was bombastic!

Madam, abeg leave dat one jor!

Ishilove: So what happened to scatter the love?

Choi! You sef too like aproko : P

Idowuogbo:
No o! na island for Tobago! kay69 i lie?

Baddest gal!

kay9:
''69''? Why do i feel like u said that delibrately? Out of the abundance of the heart...

Lol! What does it mean sef?

Ma pipo make unu no quarriel,no need for kwanta!!! ID and BoboYekini, behave!

Men will be men, women will always have their issues . . .

Speaking of men always being men, does anyone ever wonder why old men try to get fresh and feel fly with younger chics? I had a particular experience with one of them that made me wonder long and hard about these wonderful creatures called men.

For sometime my sanity had been under intense pressure as a result of loneliness and boredom. Wasimi has that effect on sleek city folks like me, that's why no female corper agreed to stay there. I was told that I was the first female corper the community was hosting in three years. The previous ones had tucked their tails in between their legs and fled the rustic roadside bush hamlet after enduring for a few months. I however stubbornly refused to run; ask me why, I cannot say. Mother says I have a big heart. Hey, don't blame me, I come from the Big Heart state .

The motivation to take a break from Wasimi, albeit briefly, came from a very unlikely source: a goat.

On this particular night, I was unusually tired so I went to bed earlier than usual after a heavy meal of fufu and vegetable soup. I don't know how long i slept before a strange sound woke me up around 2.00am.

Like an ax-head floating up from still waters, I slowly came awake. I peered blindly in the pitch dark room. The room was blacker than tar because my little kerosene lamp had burnt itself out sometime in the night. I lay on my bed,wondering what had woken me up and listening intently to the sounds around me. . .

A rat scurrying overhead across the polythene nylon ceiling, on some nocturnal errand. . .

A cockroach playing hide and seek with its lover in my basket of polythene bags by the miserable excuse I had for a door. . .

A truck passing by in the distance. . .

All seemed as it ought to be, so what on earth had woken me up??

Suddenly I heard it again. Someone was coughing loudly, and it seemed very close, like they were right there in the room with me !! O the horror!
" Blood of Jesus! Blood of Jesus!!", shrieked I in abject terror, as one hand scrambled frantically for my bible while the other searched in vain for a weapon. Any weapon! .
Who was this intruder in my room? A rapist? An evil spirit?? My mind settled on the latter.

Without warning the coughing was replaced by a sneeze,and abruptly I heard " Meeeeeeee!". What tha fucck?? As if in response, the goat bleated again. And sneezed. And coughed. Again

My terror immediately changed into pure. . . undistilled. . . RAGE . Confound it, that blasted goat!

I can't remember exactly how I got outside, but the next thing I remember is finding myself outside, clutching a broom like my life depended on it. The source of the whole hullabaloo stood by my window having a coughing fit. I never knew goats sound so much like humans when they cough. I rushed forward, bloody murder on my mind, when I stumbled over a stone lying in my path and went crashing to the ground.

In short ehn, my pipo, I fall yakata like small pikin.

Startled, the goat ran away, still coughing and sneezing. Looking back now,I suspect the animal must have been reacting to something that brought about so violent a coughing fit.

Reality came swiftly when my face made rude contact with sandy earth. I groaned and turned over slowly to rest on my back. Lying on my back, breathing heavily, I gazed up at the moonless sky and wondered if I had finally run amok. What was I doing outside in the dead of night, holding a broom and attacking harmless creatures? What would my dear mother think of this? The woman would most assuredly blush in abject mortification. Dad would give me his best Pete Edochie-look and say " you are joking with your life." My sister would roll her eyes and chortle endlessly. My brothers would grin and say, "Sheeit, Ishi you don dey craze. Don't worry ehn, as long as you haven't yet entered the market,there is still hope ".

Craze. Yes, that must be it. I must be losing my mind here. Wasimi was fuccking up my mojo and playing with my mind. "Sheeit, what I need is a break from this madrefucking place," I said to myself. Abashed, I dragged myself up, dusted my asss and limped back to my room. I remembered the broom I had wanted to commit murder with and limped back to get it. When I got back to my room, the gaddem door refused to close properly and lo, it seemed I had stepped on my glasses in my insane rush to annihlate the sick goat that had so scared me shitless. FUCCK!

(Pardon my french)

That same morning I made a call to a very good friend of mine serving in far away Ikare-akoko, pleading, nay, DEMANDING to spend the weekend with her, her programmed schedule be damned. By noonday, my knapsack slung over my sore and aching shoulders, my NYSC cap fixed firmly on my head, my face set like a flint, and without a backward glance, I trudged determinedly to the expressway and set about flagging down vehicles. About ten minutes later, a very modest cream coloured Mercedes Benz car slowed down and stopped a few meters from me. I quickly jogged to the car and peered through the open window at the face of Chairman.


I will continue my narrative when I have massaged the cramps out of my fingers. They ache

haha, make chairman buy u bottom belle!

Which one be bottom belle?

lol i really don't know..its this Omawunmi's song.
continue with your story pls
P.S. why are you so mad at atheists in the other thread?

BoboYekini: lol i really don't know..its this Omawunmi's song.
continue with your story pls
P.S. why are you so mad at atheists in the other thread?

I am mad at only cyrexx because he is being a total assshole

FXKing2012: Waooo. . .so my darling is a great writer.

O FX. . .

''Bottom belle'' is pidgin for the bell-bottom dresses of the 80's. Dont tell anybdy o; i really searched harder than Mungo Park before i learnt its true meaning.

For real? So what has bottom belle dress have to do with my narrative? !?

Ishilove:
O FX. . .