Enigma: To quote one of my co-readers.



(I absolutely love brokoto's comments )



@Ishilove

It almost feels like the greatest compliment I can pay you is not to compliment at all ----- you know like the 'we are not worthy' emoticon would have been really useful here.



^{One very tiny editorial thing: careful about 'been' for 'being'.}

(obligatory as you know )

Thank you sir, your observation has been noted and will be put into use from hence on.

Sweet. . .

"Pants" not "pant trousers" sha

Ihedinobi: Sweet. . .

"Pants" not "pant trousers" sha

Noted

Ishilooooooooooove . e don try ya? e no easy to de tell tory like this o. anyway, just try make you finish am ya? even though you go talk say na part 1. i de wait for ya 1st novel sha. just write say na ishilove o after you go don write ya real name. ehen!

brokoto: Ishilooooooooooove . e don try ya? e no easy to de tell tory like this o. anyway, just try make you finish am ya? even though you go talk say na part 1. i de wait for ya 1st novel sha. just write say na ishilove o after you go don write ya real name. ehen!

I go finish am. Na just time I no get, but I will try to finish it before this weekend is up

My first full length novel is in the pipeline

Ishilove:
I go finish am. Na just time I no get, but I will try to finish it before this weekend is up

My first full length novel is in the pipeline

hahaha just like many Nigerian projects abi? abeg do quick o make i no just go burst that pipeline come thief the oil novel

Ishiloooooove abeg check out this story. e be like say e sweet pass ya own o!
https://www.nairaland.com/1043386/daughter
i don laff tire for there

As in ehn, the writer is hilarious. Very creative . I would like to meet him/her

9 days and counting since the last update. . .*tick tock tock*.
i go soon burst that your pipeline o!

brokoto: 9 days and counting since the last update. . .*tick tock tock*.
i go soon burst that your pipeline o!

I neva get the time jare,abeg no vex

Finally! Front page at last (deservedly). "How to catch a chicken" should also make front page.

You can also check out these other works by the author


Ways to catch a chicken https://www.nairaland.com/958858/ways-catch-chicken

Killing mosquitoes (once upon a night)
https://www.nairaland.com/732702/killing-mosquitoes-once-upon-night

After how many months now front page .. I said it MODs no get work at all

Ishilove: The night is oppressively hot, as it is wont to be in Wasimi. In the distance, I can hear a kid bleating. I have sworn deep in my heart that one day, I am going to take a very big stick, hunt that annoying kid down and bash its brains out. That goat must be possessed. Once its 12am, the satanic goat comes out and starts bleating. It is so annoying. Just one of the thousands of things that annoy the hell out me in Wasimi.

I remember the first time I set my eyes on the primitive roadside forest hamlet called Wasimi. I had left the orientation camp on the 31st of March, after receiving my posting letter on the 30th. The bus I boarded from the orientation camp to Wasimi took me first to Ondo town, and when I informed the driver of where I was going to, he graciously offered to drive me back to the hamlet.

I remember wondering just where this community was because we had passed hardly any buildings on our way to Ondo town, save for some dismal looking mud houses and desolate looking buildings. As we neared my destination, a nagging suspicion began to form in my mind. My heart began to beat madly in my chest.

Suddenly the driver pulled up in front of a bush path. When I disembarked,from where I stood, I could see a very shabby building in the middle of what looked like a forest. I had seen this building earlier on my way to Ondo town.
“Driver”, I asked shakily, “why did we stop?” “This na Kind College”, he answered, confirming my suspicion. My maniacal heart stopped beating, and went into a free fall straight into my churning, acid filled stomach. I was…embarrassed. The building looked like it had been abandoned since the previous decade. So this is where NYSC had banished me to for the next one year? This was so not cool. I was mortified…

“Manage am, dat na NYSC for you” the driver said when he noticed my unconcealed chagrin, and drove off leaving me at the roadside surrounded by luggage, mouth agape, hands linked on my head . . .Curses!!!!
I had nowhere else to go. Even if I had, I was hampered by my mammoth luggage. I had gotten carried away when packing for camp, and as a result the amount of luggage I had taken was like those of a new bride being ushered to her groom’s house.

Troubled by discomfiting memories,I sigh and roll around restlessly on my bed. Everywhere is eerily silent. Overhead on the black polythene nylon ceiling, lizards and rats have finally gone silent. Even the neighbourhood turkeys have gone to sleep. During the daytime, the turkeys gobble endlessly, and for some strange diabolical reason known only to them, they chose my window as the base for their heated and extremely noisy debates. Annoying.

Ah, I cannot forget the sand flies.

O sweet Jesus, the sand flies!

Oh God, the sand flies!!

Dear God, the sand flies!!!

The Yoruba call them “kotonkan”. Wasimi is a forest agrarian settlement, so these Lilliputian disseminators of gargantuan misery were in blefuscan proportions. When you wake up in the morning, they were there to kiss you good morning. At noonday they were your constant companions, at night time, they bid you goodnight. These insects ministered to your arms, legs and any other exposed part of your body with single minded ferocity.

My first encounter with them was less than memorable. I had gone to the bush to do my business, (Wasimi has no toilet facilities), when they attacked my bum with vengeance. I tried to hold them off by squeezing my butt tight, tighter than a politician’s fist around a cash bribe, all to no avail. I was chased out of the bush like a thief caught with the neighbourhood chicken… embarrassing.

God help me, this place is screwing up my mojo…

Was there a sweet sensation outlet there

and....we are live.
@boboyekini reporting from the front-page

honestly of all d post,i have read on d front page dis evening,dis is d post dat made my evening,am picturing how it feels like living in dat village...kudos 2 u mami,u got me smiling 4 d right reason

naptu2: You can also check out these other works by the author


Ways to catch a chicken https://www.nairaland.com/958858/ways-catch-chicken

Killing mosquitoes (once upon a night)
https://www.nairaland.com/732702/killing-mosquitoes-once-upon-night

Wow. How nice of you

Pgent1: honestly of all d post,i have read on d front page dis evening,dis is d post dat made my evening,am picturing how it feels like living in dat village...kudos 2 u mami,u got me smiling 4 d right reason

I encourage you read all the pages on the thread. You'll be glad you did

Double post

Subscribing. I hope this is not going to be one of those Sunday Sunday updates sha

wow ishilove, u r truely talented. u shud write a novel. u story kept me glued to my laptop thru out this evenin. 9ice 1 there. keep it up.

Wow, Ishilove, u made my evening, i've learnt lots of lessons too. Keep the good work up. Thumbs up.

Thanks naptu,naijababe,sigba,sarajevo,Bobo Mi Yekini ,pgent1,free2rhyme, and semid4lyf(yes YOU! Even though you ran away ) for the comments and taking time out to read my narrative. I am very grateful and i hope God who deposited the gift of the Pen in me will grant me the grace to build on it.

Though it reads like fiction,EVERYTHING you have read thus far truly happened to me.

@naijababe, i would have updated long ago but time hasn't been the best of friends with me of late. I will try and update asap, ex-corper's honour!

@semid4lfy, you can run but you can't hide

Ishilove: Thanks naptu,naijababe,sigba,sarajevo,Bobo Mi Yekini ,pgent1,free2rhyme, and semid4lyf(yes YOU! Even though you ran away ) for the comments and taking time out to read my narrative. I am very grateful and i hope God who deposited the gift of the Pen in me will grant me the grace to build on it.

Though it reads like fiction,EVERYTHING you have read thus far truly happened to me.

@naijababe, i would have updated long ago but time hasn't been the best of friends with me of late. I will try and update asap, ex-corper's honour!

@semid4lfy, you can run but you can't hide

You berra o. I don't want another Tunde Leye on my hands........ yanking my chains & leading me on every week dammit

By the way every time I read 'Kopashun' gists, I am always ever so jealous. See correct experience wey pesin dey miss

naijababe:

You berra o. I don't want another Tunde Leye on my hands........ yanking my chains & leading me on every week dammit

By the way every time I read 'Kopashun' gists, I am always ever so jealous. See correct experience wey pesin dey miss

So you too are a fan of Tunde Leye?? . Nice!

update at your own pace baby . that's part of the pleasure for me, that suspense. its sexy.

Isi... where you dey now ?
Come yarn us lessin wey you learn .
Groove don set, you con abscon like dat.
O Baby, ride on with this scintillating gist jare !

... more engine oil for your elbow fingers, you too gbaski.

And I thought Tunde Leye was bad

naijababe: And I thought Tunde Leye was bad

*blushing*

I'm sorry . Miz Muse is being a biatch...again

naijababe: And I thought Tunde Leye was bad

Correct NaijaBabe, Abeg show directions on how to reach Tunde Leye's write-up.
Since Isi refuse to update , let me past-time with Tunla's gist.

Isi... gradually, you dey lose customers bi dat ooO !