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I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family - Family (1) - Nairaland

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Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by Ivynwa(f): 3:30pm On May 26, 2012
Oh dear, may God console your heart. The death of a loved one is one hell of a painful thing and I can't imagine how painful losing an entire family will be. Be strong brother.It may help to change environment for a while if you were all living together before it happened, this is to help you cope as being in the same space you have shared with them will keep reminding you of their absence each time you turn around for one thing or the other.

Immersing yourself in something that can keep you very busy may also help. What are the things that bring you joy? Doing them may help too, like listening to whatever music that strengthens, inspires and cools your heart. Fellowshipping in church or mosque (whichever one you attend) may help, the warmth and support of your church members will be good for you.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by Yeske2(m): 5:21pm On May 26, 2012
Take heart dear, it's well.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by moderattor: 5:47pm On May 26, 2012
IF you lost your entire family, there is every reason to believe that what killed them is comming for you too, even if it was an accident.
The best thing to do is Ruuuun for your liiiiiiife!

Or turn around and start chasing what is chasing you.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by Topeby: 6:15pm On May 26, 2012
God will strengthen you. Stay close to God and relate more with people that sincerely love you.
Seek for regular professional counsel and pastoral counsel if you are a christian.
With time the pain will reduce. Please don't allow this event to affect your work/ your
productivity too much. You will still succeed in life. I pray that the almighty God will direct
your steps.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by lillies: 6:31pm On May 26, 2012
@
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by Faithnn: 6:47pm On May 26, 2012
@ poster, if u are a man/woman u marry and start having children, in less than no time u will increase and not alone.Job according to biblical account lost everything including his health, he summoned courage and God bless him at the long run.So dont faint keep moving.Remember we should give God thanks in all things for it is his will concerning his people.Dont question God keep praising him thereafter u see his wonderful works.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by SisBrenda(f): 7:40pm On May 26, 2012
Awww am so sorry my dear. Sincere condolances. I personally went crazy with the loss of my baby and I will tell you one thing. Someone who hasn't been where you are has NO IDEA. I hated the nerve of people assuming they could fathom what it was like and what its like. But I got strength from listening to others who have been where I was and am. Daystars "joni table talk" just brought these families that expressed how I absolutely felt. I felt God had let me down. I went through all the motions but God held on to me and also reading Jobs story made me get up every day and face the world.

It is well my dear he knows and he will be your strength. Just you watch he will guide you and keep you going. You will laugh again soon. I actually had stopped laughing at all.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by tellwisdom: 7:56pm On May 26, 2012
Wat else are you waiting for?? U self die undecided
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by Emysandy: 8:23pm On May 26, 2012
lillies: @poster, wetin happen? U cant get tru help hia unless u suply us wit enuf info!
But al dis kind of case na jehovah witness pattern now!
guy tel us d truth, i ve enof info 2 mk u ndstnd dat watchtower is a scam. shine ur eyes, who told u dat u cant mk heaven/paradise if u dnt sell dia mag on d street?
its only in dia mag. u wil find dat ur salvation depends on dia govnin body in broklyn. guy 4gt dat tin.
u re the only poster that is funny here... I mean The guy is sad, if it was the church stuf, he will kool off in the nite club with new set of family,but on this thread the story is different, he need to run to God even if it mean selling the watch tower to find peace. And if l may ask wat do u have again em?, personally l prefer the new generation church the re lousy but free, no old time religion church goers rules to be a member.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by pendo89(f): 9:06pm On May 26, 2012
festusbiz: Pls guyz help me wit tips on how to cope with d loss of my family members. Am alone

Am so sorry.I hate acting like I know how, even though I have been through that road before.(losing a dear one)
Each loss is different and so is the intensity of pain, so I will just try here.

1.First know this.You are not alone even though you feel like it. God above is with you and its the reason you are alive.Many would have given up hope.

2.The best way to start a healing process is to share.You didn't tell us what happened just in general.When you share you open up and some weight and pressure gets relieved from ur heart.Bit by bit,time after time until a time reaches when you can share without tears streaming down ur face. Then you know you are on your way to total healing.

3.Do not be alone for long.Memories will give you ulcers. Try and get real busy to distract your mind from thinking too much.Keep good company of positive people,go places etc.Its not easy but if you fail to do this you will get very depressed.

4.Tell yourself,they are rested.It's you left behind that has problems to deal with now. I don't know but it soothes.

5.Time heals.Music is healing too so listen and sing alone.If it makes you sad drop it.

You will be well.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by tonididdy(m): 12:07am On May 27, 2012
lillies: @poster, were you disfellowshiped by the watchtower organization, a.k.a jehovah witness? If yes i think u ar VERY LUCKY.
lol u're funnt hehe
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by tonididdy(m): 12:10am On May 27, 2012
moderattor: IF you lost your entire family, there is every reason to believe that what killed them is comming for you too, even if it was an accident.
The best thing to do is Ruuuun for your liiiiiiife!

Or turn around and start chasing what is chasing you.
omg lol wtf
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by lighternote(f): 12:20am On May 27, 2012
LOSS or u mean separation u jus started school abroad.be careful wt ur choice of words.oya naa,see condolence.
rebuke evil!
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by ifihearam: 12:34am On May 27, 2012
@poster
Wetin really happen
Tell us na
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by Ivynwa(f): 2:28am On May 27, 2012
pendo89:

Am so sorry.I hate acting like I know how, even though I have been through that road before.(losing a dear one)
Each loss is different and so is the intensity of pain, so I will just try here.

1.First know this.You are not alone even though you feel like it. God above is with you and its the reason you are alive.Many would have given up hope.

2.The best way to start a healing process is to share.You didn't tell us what happened just in general.When you share you open up and some weight and pressure gets relieved from ur heart.Bit by bit,time after time until a time reaches when you can share without tears streaming down ur face. Then you know you are on your way to total healing.

3.Do not be alone for long.Memories will give you ulcers. Try and get real busy to distract your mind from thinking too much.Keep good company of positive people,go places etc.Its not easy but if you fail to do this you will get very depressed.

4.Tell yourself,they are rested.It's you left behind that has problems to deal with now. I don't know but it soothes.

5.Time heals.Music is healing too so listen and sing alone.If it makes you sad drop it.

You will be well.

The bolded is a good one Pendo, you are such a sensible lady that your reasoning and composure has endeared you to me when I don't even know you. kiss Hugs!
Seeing death from a different angle will go a long way in the healing process. It's relieving to consider the dead one as resting and free from worries and pains. I lost my closest cousin recently and I was mad angry without knowing who to be angry with. I was angry because she was an only child, has always wanted children, has had one or two failed pregnancies and just when she was finally about reaching full term with her last pregnancy she died. I mean we were all looking forward to the birth of her child, her parents were looking forward to their grandchild.

She married men that treated her terribly---she left the first one after he started seeing and holidaying with his secretary. The second husband left her alone in Nig & went to Europe only to return years later, was a bitter person too (I remember once having to defend her and talk back to him when he was nagging and heaving on her over the phone right from Europe----freaking man!). My sweet and good cousin that can't kill a fly, so spoilt and pampered as an only child that she talks, walks quietly and very modestly----she left when she couldn't condone his tongue and maltreatment. She had much unhappiness. I tried my best in consoling her-----set up mail account for her, encouraged her to get better mates,I even set up threads here in the forum to matchmake her with others and encouraged somebody here in the forum to chat her up etc

She will be buried next tuesday, it hurt that she is there in the mortuary right now yet it's relieving that she has no more worries, fears or pain above all it gave me a better picture of life and I hardly worry over a thing. When she passed away I posted in my facebook page to all my friends for them never to worry, stress or fear over things of Life because it's not worth it. I think we take life too seriously really.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by Idacrux: 12:00pm On May 27, 2012
I also felt i terrible n horrible for my immediate younger sister died last yr.....so,pls life continues it means life is not worth worrying for because we all are victims of death.and also last 2weeks a 300L physics student at o.a.u dieed recently and was buried at d skul motruary....
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by Emysandy: 12:01pm On May 27, 2012
Ivynwa:

The bolded is a good one Pendo, you are such a sensible lady that your reasoning and composure has endeared you to me when I don't even know you. kiss Hugs!
Seeing death from a different angle will go a long way in the healing process. It's relieving to consider the dead one as resting and free from worries and pains. I lost my closest cousin recently and I was mad angry without knowing who to be angry with. I was angry because she was an only child, has always wanted children, has had one or two failed pregnancies and just when she was finally about reaching full term with her last pregnancy she died. I mean we were all looking forward to the birth of her child, her parents were looking forward to their grandchild.

She married men that treated her terribly---she left the first one after he started seeing and holidaying with his secretary. The second husband left her alone in Nig & went to Europe only to return years later, was a bitter person too (I remember once having to defend her and talk back to him when he was nagging and heaving on her over the phone right from Europe----freaking man!). My sweet and good cousin that can't kill a fly, so spoilt and pampered as an only child that she talks, walks quietly and very modestly----she left when she couldn't condone his tongue and maltreatment. She had much unhappiness. I tried my best in consoling her-----set up mail account for her, encouraged her to get better mates,I even set up threads here in the forum to matchmake her with others and encouraged somebody here in the forum to chat her up etc

She will be buried next tuesday, it hurt that she is there in the mortuary right now yet it's relieving that she has no more worries, fears or pain above all it gave me a better picture of life and I hardly worry over a thing. When she passed away I posted in my facebook page to all my friends for them never to worry, stress or fear over things of Life because it's not worth it. I think we take life too seriously really.

you have a visible story to share... I know how feel to lose someone you love,but you have to be stronge. I work in the hospital and l hate to see expectant mothers or pregnant women die, that is the worst, if you may ask cause the baby and mother is gone... I'm in tears already,PLZ GOD HELP!.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by Ivynwa(f): 3:51pm On May 27, 2012
Emysandy: you have a visible story to share... I know how feel to lose someone you love,but you have to be stronge. I work in the hospital and l hate to see expectant mothers or pregnant women die, that is the worst, if you may ask cause the baby and mother is gone... I'm in tears already,PLZ GOD HELP!.

Thanks dear.
I truly felt for her mother who lost her only child as well as her grandchild. I was angry at how my cousin can just die like that but God knows why it happened, his ways are very different from ours. God has a better notion of death than we humans do. The death of a loved one hurts us as humans but to God it may just be a webline in his action plan.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by pendo89(f): 10:07am On May 28, 2012
Ivynwa:

Thanks dear.
I truly felt for her mother who lost her only child as well as her grandchild. I was angry at how my cousin can just die like that but God knows why it happened, his ways are very different from ours. God has a better notion of death than we humans do. The death of a loved one hurts us as humans but to God it may just be a webline in his action plan.

Thank you Ivywa,I still rem you from Perx thread.
I will tell you something,I lost my younger bro 7 years ago and at one point I was sure I was gonna lose my head.
I was the only person he was very free with,we would laugh, I was with him the day he died,I used to send him on errands,watch movies together etc etc.
When he died suddenly (murder)he took a piece of me with him.I temporarily died!Life lost meaning and I couldn't figure out anything.I wanted revenge,I was angry but I didn't know where to direct my anger.I do not drink but I contemplated doing so cz I wanted to be drunk and forget 24/7.I didn't want a moment of soberness cz my heart couldn't bear it! I got sick and wanted to die.I wanted to just blackout and wake up several years later.I still shed a tear when I rem what he told me the last day.
But you know,the pain is not as intense now as it was after his death and burial. I still can't tell you what kept me going cz scriptures didn't make sense to me,I didn't want encouragement cz nobody understood my pain.I wanted to be alone and it took a heavy toll on me.Infact I toyed with the idea of suicide cz the pain in my soul was more than I could bear.I didnt think I could live another day and not see or talk to him.
I hated sleeping on the bed when I knew he was rotting in the grave.I wanted to stop his body from decaying cz I thought he might come back.
I just wanted somebody to come and tell me 'hey guess what? You had a bad dream,He is here.
I never tell anybody 'I understand your pain even if I have been through that road,Never.
Its good to mourn and shed tears.What helped me was sharing.I talked about him a lot,composed songs in his memories and kept close to family for encouragement.
It's not easy but time eases the pain
Take heart poster.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by RichDad1(m): 5:35pm On May 28, 2012
Chei! See suspense shocked shocked
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by infofta(m): 8:32pm On May 28, 2012
God gives and he takes. Take heart. I remembered when I lost my mum life was meaningless. Try and stay in company of others. Try and let go what you know u cannot change.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by Ivynwa(f): 2:00am On May 29, 2012
pendo89:

Thank you Ivywa,I still rem you from Perx thread.
I will tell you something,I lost my younger bro 7 years ago and at one point I was sure I was gonna lose my head.
I was the only person he was very free with,we would laugh, I was with him the day he died,I used to send him on errands,watch movies together etc etc.
When he died suddenly (murder)he took a piece of me with him.I temporarily died!Life lost meaning and I couldn't figure out anything.I wanted revenge,I was angry but I didn't know where to direct my anger.I do not drink but I contemplated doing so cz I wanted to be drunk and forget 24/7.I didn't want a moment of soberness cz my heart couldn't bear it! I got sick and wanted to die.I wanted to just blackout and wake up several years later.I still shed a tear when I rem what he told me the last day.
But you know,the pain is not as intense now as it was after his death and burial. I still can't tell you what kept me going cz scriptures didn't make sense to me,I didn't want encouragement cz nobody understood my pain.I wanted to be alone and it took a heavy toll on me.Infact I toyed with the idea of suicide cz the pain in my soul was more than I could bear.I didnt think I could live another day and not see or talk to him.
I hated sleeping on the bed when I knew he was rotting in the grave.I wanted to stop his body from decaying cz I thought he might come back.
I just wanted somebody to come and tell me 'hey guess what? You had a bad dream,He is here.
I never tell anybody 'I understand your pain even if I have been through that road,Never.
Its good to mourn and shed tears.What helped me was sharing.I talked about him a lot,composed songs in his memories and kept close to family for encouragement.
It's not easy but time eases the pain
Take heart poster.

Girl nothing hurts like losing a loved one, I never knew the heart is capable of such pains until I lost a family member years ago, how that pain manages to subside----I don't even know. This poster must be going thru pains, may God comfort him.

It was touching reading about your brother, I understand that part about crying your tears over your plate of food on remembering that a loved one can never eat like you. Loving them still even when they are no more. Accept my sympathy over your brother. Gotta run and get an early night, my cousin is getting buried in less than 20 hours. She was almost the elder sister I never had being the first daughter in my home, the only person in this world that has shamelessly shared the pains of her heart with me. When I heard that she died, I experienced anger along with a few tears after which I have been strong. Now that I know that she is going down the earth, it's painful----for the past two days thoughts of her clouds my eyes with tears. My cousin that has the regal mien of a princess that she truly is yet unbelievably humble and modest. It is well, it is well with her soul and ours too. Amen.
Re: I Need Tips On How To Cope With The Loss Of An Entire Family by Zilja(f): 5:58am On May 29, 2012
ADEBOSUN: @poster, maybe you should explain how you lost them.....or what that even means sef?
Are they dead? How did they die?
Or are they missing? How did they get missing?
Or were you disowned?....
It would be nice if you were clearer.

This is not the time for the poster to explain to anyone the loss of family members.

I am sadden by the poster's loss and I don't need to know what happen and why.

@poster! ” God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble “ Psalm 46:1

Look to the only wise Father for your strength. Allow Him to carry and wrap his loving arms around you. He will not let you go until he knows you are ready.

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