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Stats: 1062022 members, 1233683 topics. Date: Wednesday, 22 May 2013 at 10:42 AM
|Ungrateful Mother by Zilja(f): 10:57pm On May 30, 2012|
Because in the US we acknowledge Mother’s day, I thought it would be nice to give my friend’s mother a small gift. Since she’s been going back and forth to the doctor trying to get the right meds for her; I thought it would be helpful to have some items to keep her organized with her meds.
Well, when I gave it to her she was excited. Her son explain to her what it was and how to use it. It was a 7 day pill holder since she takes different pills a day this way it would help her stay on track. She even takes some over the counter meds as well. I also gave her an incline case to hold the incline bottles and needles. The packing was cute, too.
After hearing what the items were, she said to me “I need a bag to put all my medicine in” I was a little confused as to why she needed a bag when she had the items to hold what she needed. So, I bought her a bag to put ALL her medicine in. As time went by, and I saw her for the first time in two weeks; she brought out a purse and said “this is the kind of bag I need to put all my medicine in”
She and her son started talking in Igbo so it made me feel as if she was not grateful as to what she got because of his reaction and comment he made to me.
I’m guessing she’s worried that her son is entertaining and American girl. From a lot of threads I read on NL I can understand why so Of course she probably wants him to be with a Nigerian girl, but from the stories I’ve heard from him that won’t happen.
Why didn’t she just accept the gift and say thank you and kept it moving. No manners at all!!
|Re: Ungrateful Mother by tpia@: 3:05am On May 31, 2012|
why are you noticing her pills and how she takes them? Are you a doctor?
americans tend not to notice [or maybe care about] body language which shows the recipient of their attention considers them intrusive.
if the lady is superstitious, she might wonder if you're hoping she'll keel over so you can get at her son.
just guessing here, of course. I could be wrong.
|Re: Ungrateful Mother by Zilja(f): 3:46am On May 31, 2012|
Yes, Yu are wrong for guessing. Body language I can read yours without even seeing you.
The son is trying to get her health in order before she returns to Nigeria. Not a doctor and don't play one on TV but any fool would know you need to take your meds with food and at certain times of the day.
Why be so critical of my intention. It was a gift.
As I stated "no manners at all"
|Re: Ungrateful Mother by tpia@: 3:50am On May 31, 2012|
you asked a question and i gave you a possible answer.
if you cant make allowance for the difference in cultures and cultural perceptions, then carry go.
ok, sorry the lady didnt thank you.
|Re: Ungrateful Mother by tpia@: 3:52am On May 31, 2012|
From a lot of threads I read on NL I can understand why so
ok, you took what you read on nl and carried it to see the woman.
good for you.
|Re: Ungrateful Mother by ifyalways(f): 10:03am On May 31, 2012|
@OP,She didnt ask you for a gift so if you decide on buying a "sensititive" like what u got for her then you should as well listen to her choices and get it right for her.In some cultures,some types of gifts are better given/appreciated when there is a very free and informal relationship btwthe giver and reciever.You've never met her(according to you) so a simple gift would have been better.
|Re: Ungrateful Mother by Zilja(f): 4:43pm On May 31, 2012|
I'm aware of the culture difference and she's in my culture so I decided to treat her as such....you dont' get to have multiple choice when a "gift" is given to. The son approved of the gift so I'm fine with what I did. I don't think is was "sensitive" it was necessary.
|Re: Ungrateful Mother by *Kails*: 1:52am On Sep 30, 2012|
It could be the culture as well as it could be her personal interest.
Next time get a feel for what she likes and then go from there.
Don't read into anything too much.
The fact that you made the effort is good enough, it's just now you know
some people have specific likes, needs and wants.
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