Women and Marriage in Islam

Everyone that knows me or reads my comments knows that I get emotional and angry at times . Yes, you see, I am willing to accept my bias at times!

I am just a cool atheist guy. However, there is one issue (other than slavery) that turns me into the hulk- a mean, anti-religious, militant atheist. The issue is the treatment of women with regards to marriage in Islam. This is because it broke my heart with my girlfriend. This is a personal issue for me.


I have talked about this issue before but it came up again when my cousin finally announced his engagement to a Jewish American girl. My cousin is black and his fiancee is white. My cousin suffered abuse from the girls aunt and step dad who indirectly said that they dont like blacks. My cousin is a rich dentist in scotland, by the way. My cousin probably had to dazzle the girls family with wealth and good manners before they agreed to the marriage.


This reminded me of how I was almost killed by a muslim cab driver because I had a muslim girlfriend. Non-muslim men are not allowed to get married to muslim women. It is there in the Koran. I had to break off with my girlfriend because I couldnt take the bigotry from her friends and I was tired from lying that I was a muslim. It has happened twice that two Arab guys walked up to my girlfriend to ask what she was doing with me. She even told me that we probably mght not have a future together since I will not convert to muslim and her family might not accept an atheist.

The Koran doesnt allow non-muslim men to marry muslim women;

Muslim Woman and Non-Muslim Man

Under no conditions is a Muslim woman permitted to marry anyone but a Muslim man. The same verse cited above (2:221) mentions, "Nor marry your girls to unbelievers until they believe. A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever...." No exception is given for women to marry Jews and Christians, so the law stands that she may only marry a believing (Muslim) man. As head of the household, the husband provides leadership for the family. A Muslim woman does not follow the leadership of someone who does not share her faith and values.
http://islam.about.com/od/marriage/a/interfaithmarriage.htm

This is clear bigotry when you think about it. The same reasoning was used by racist slave masters in the past;
-Do not let white women marry blacks, they are savages and they will make you less civilized
-Do not let muslim women marry unbelievers, they are damned and they will make you less relgious (or even damned to hell)

-Do not let white women marry blacks, the children will be mulattoes and savages
-Don not let muslim women marry unbelievers, the children will be less religious and damned.


The hypocrisy;
-White slave masters fathered many children with female black slaves.
-Muslim men marry christian and jewish girls

Sometimes troubles are best avoided if your other half remains in stuppidity.
I also got abuses when I wanted to marry another race. My family said no, her family said no. We just told them that we weren't seeking their approbation but that we were only informing them.
You see, it depends on your girl. If she is strong, then all things are possible. If she would allow bearded old men to tell her how to live her life and who to fvck, that's her choice.

Logic Mind: Sometimes troubles are best avoided if your other half remains in stuppidity.
I also got abuses when I wanted to marry another race. My family said no, her family said no. We just told them that we weren't seeking their approbation but that we were only informing them.
You see, it depends on your girl. If she is strong, then all things are possible. If she would allow bearded old men to tell her how to live her life and who to fvck, that's her choice.

Seconded...

musKeeto:
Seconded...

Thirded

Logic Mind: Sometimes troubles are best avoided if your other half remains in stuppidity.
I also got abuses when I wanted to marry another race. My family said no, her family said no. We just told them that we weren't seeking their approbation but that we were only informing them.
You see, it depends on your girl. If she is strong, then all things are possible. If she would allow bearded old men to tell her how to live her life and who to fvck, that's her choice.

Yep, my girfriend was strong however, She had too many brothers and uncles. We both preferred her safety

fourthed

logicboy:


Yep, my girfriend was strong however, She had too many brothers and uncles. We both preferred her safety

if you love her and she can endure it, then go public. Let it be known by everbody in your community. Inform newspapers and police that you are afraid for your wife's safety because of religious bigots. Do T.V shows and tell everybody what her family says.

Belive me, it is very difficult to harm someone who is in the public eye no matter how deep the hatred goes.
That is why salman rushdie is alive today. it has become in the muslim interest that nothing happens to him.

Does someone not know the way to the islam section anymore?

Logic Mind:

if you love her and she can endure it, then go public. Let it be known by everbody in your community. Inform newspapers and police that you are afraid for your wife's safety because of religious bigots. Do T.V shows and tell everybody what her family says.

Belive me, it is very difficult to harm someone who is in the public eye no matter how deep the hatred goes.
That is why salman rushdie is alive today. it has become in the muslim interest that nothing happens to him.

We broke up since last year. We are still friends. I am also not ready to put the girl through the stress of TV and publicity. religious bigots won this battle.

However, I am still not even ready for marriage.

JeSoul: Does someone not know the way to the islam section anymore?

I get more traction here.

obviously,your girlfriend is a muslim who cares about her beliefs and she cannot break her blood relationship with her family because the suitor is a hopeless nutjob atheist who is a bigot and blinded by hatred.may be if you'd show her all your posts on nairaland,that would have made your break-up easier.

i must congratulate your girlfriend for her courage.now it is time for her to repent and seek forgiveness for the actions she could have done when she was with you.

LagosShia: obviously,your girlfriend is a muslim who cares about her beliefs and she cannot break her blood relationship with her family because the suitor is a hopeless nutjob atheist who is a bigot and blinded by hatred.may be if you'd show her all your posts on nairaland,that would have made your break-up easier.

i must congratulate your girlfriend for her courage.now it is time for her to repent and seek forgiveness for the actions she could have done when she was with you.

Wow, see how you make yourself look stupid by assuming things? Religion does this to you. I broke it off with my girlfriend and not the other way around. If she was a religious bigot, she would not have been with me in the first place.


BTW, you keep avoiding my question; are you a man or a woman?

logicboy:


Wow, see how you make yourself look stupid by assuming things? Religion does this to you. I broke it off with my girlfriend and not the other way around. If she was a religious bigot, she would not have been with me in the first place.


BTW, you keep avoiding my question; are you a man or a woman?

what happened with your girlfriend is not my business.i am only interested to know that she adheres to her religious beliefs and not even your satanic influence to make her stray from Islam could make her stay with you and abandon her religion and family.

whether i am a man or a woman has nothing to do with participating in this forum.i am a human being.if it was a muslim that asked whether someone is male or female,you'd accuse him of sexism.

LagosShia:


what happened with your girlfriend is not my business.i am only interested to know that she adheres to her religious beliefs and not even your satanic influence to make her stray from Islam could make her stay with you and abandon her religion and family.

whether i am a man or a woman has nothing to do with participating in this forum.i am a human being.if it was a muslim that asked whether someone is male or female,you'd accuse him of sexism.

If I wanted to convert her, I would have. She already did not even believe somethings in the Koran. She also drank alcohol once in a while (not because of me). Furthermore, I doubt that she would ever love a muslim man.


Please, tell me what is satanic about me? Please? Or is it your religious bigotry talking?


As for my question, you said something that reminded me of a muslim woman I knew and so, I am just asking if you're a man or woman. It's odd that you're hiding it. It's your choice not to answer.

logicboy:


If I wanted to convert her, I would have. She already did not even believe somethings in the Koran. She also drank alcohol once in a while (not because of me). Furthermore, I doubt that she would ever love a muslim man.


Please, tell me what is satanic about me? Please? Or is it your religious bigotry talking?


As for my question, you said something that reminded me of a muslim woman I knew and so, I am just asking if you're a man or woman. It's odd that you're hiding it. It's your choice not to answer.

she needs to repent.and hopefully she would do that far away from you.

But logic boy how u take go date muslim girl

did u hope to convert her to not believing in Allah anymore?


Did u realy love her,though I know atheists hate love

Is this the 'more emotional thread'? Lol. Here I am.

logicboy: Women and Marriage in Islam

This reminded me of how I was almost killed by a muslim cab driver because I had a muslim girlfriend. Non-muslim men are not allowed to get married to muslim women. It is there in the Koran. I had to break off with my girlfriend because I couldnt take the bigotry from her friends and I was tired from lying that I was a muslim. It has happened twice that two Arab guys walked up to my girlfriend to ask what she was doing with me. She even told me that we probably mght not have a future together since I will not convert to muslim and her family might not accept an atheist.

The Koran doesnt allow non-muslim men to marry muslim women;

Are you telling the truth about that story? No offence, just wondering.

logicboy:

This is clear bigotry when you think about it. The same reasoning was used by racist slave masters in the past;
-Do not let white women marry blacks, they are savages and they will make you less civilized
-Do not let muslim women marry unbelievers, they are damned and they will make you less relgious (or even damned to hell)

-Do not let white women marry blacks, the children will be mulattoes and savages
-Don not let muslim women marry unbelievers, the children will be less religious and damned.


The hypocrisy;
-White slave masters fathered many children with female black slaves.
-Muslim men marry christian and jewish girls

Men, back then at least, were the ones who fended for the family and provided food, shelter, clothing and all that for their wives and children. For this reason, the prohibition of women having intimate relations with slaves and bearing children as a result, makes sense, since the child that would come out of such a relationship would be the child of a slave. A slave that has no right, that is controlled by another human being and has no belonging to their name, seeing as how they themselves belong to other people. The slave is not fit to marry a free born woman and start a family with her because as the man, he is the head of the family and has to take decisions regarding them. Whatever decision he has to take regarding that woman or his children is ultimately subject to anything his owner says. Even the money he would need to spend on the family has to come from the owner, so the owner of the slave after everything, turns out to be the real head of the slave's family and the one providing for that family.
A man, sleeping with his female slaves and having children with her is different because he owns the slave, he is the head of the family he is starting with the slave and in providing for her and ids, doesn't have to answer to anyone.
Hope I expressed this point clearly enough for you to understand, if you don't understand, please ask me questions.

Secondly, men are allowed to marry non-muslims, women are not.
Again, the issue of the man being the head of the house plays a part here. If a Muslim woman marries a non-muslim man. He might decide one day to forcefully convert her to his own religion, and assuming the woman refuses to join him in that religion, he could employ oppressive means to compel her, like withdrawing whatever financial support he was providing or failing to carry out his roles,one way or another.
And women, many of them, though not all of them, are emotional and could suffer great unhappiness if the marriage takes such a turn.
So there you go.
Ask questions for clarifications.

LagosShia:

she needs to repent.and hopefully she would do that far away from you.

repent from what? drinking wine?

LagosShia, many muslims drink alcohol. You cant control a grown man's desires. If muhammad could have a non-muslim partner, I dont see why I shouldnt have a muslim partner

fellis: Is this the 'more emotional thread'? Lol. Here I am.



Are you telling the truth about that story? No offence, just wondering.

Yes, very true story

fellis:
Men, back then at least, were the ones who fended for the family and provided food, shelter, clothing and all that for their wives and children. For this reason, the prohibition of women having intimate relations with slaves and bearing children as a result, makes sense, since the child that would come out of such a relationship would be the child of a slave. A slave that has no right, that is controlled by another human being and has no belonging to their name, seeing as how they themselves belong to other people. The slave is not fit to marry a free born woman and start a family with her because as the man, he is the head of the family and has to take decisions regarding them. Whatever decision he has to take regarding that woman or his children is ultimately subject to anything his owner says. Even the money he would need to spend on the family has to come from the owner, so the owner of the slave after everything, turns out to be the real head of the slave's family and the one providing for that family.
A man, sleeping with his female slaves and having children with her is different because he owns the slave, he is the head of the family he is starting with the slave and in providing for her and ids, doesn't have to answer to anyone.
Hope I expressed this point clearly enough for you to understand, if you don't understand, please ask me questions.

Secondly, men are allowed to marry non-muslims, women are not.
Again, the issue of the man being the head of the house plays a part here. If a Muslim woman marries a non-muslim man. He might decide one day to forcefully convert her to his own religion, and assuming the woman refuses to join him in that religion, he could employ oppressive means to compel her, like withdrawing whatever financial support he was providing or failing to carry out his roles,one way or another.
And women, many of them, though not all of them, are emotional and could suffer great unhappiness if the marriage takes such a turn.
So there you go.
Ask questions for clarifications.

What do you take me for? A young muslim guy coming to you for advice? I'm a grown man and your brainwashing will not work. Why are you supporting this bigotry? Thinking like this has gotten many young women honour killed!

A woman has the freedom to marry who she wants to marry

^^^You didn't want the opinions of others on the thread?
You should have mentioned that then so I would not have wasted my time typing.
And how has thinking like this gotten anyone honor killed?

fellis: ^^^You didn't want the opinions of others on the thread?
You should have mentioned that then so I would not have wasted my time typing.

Okay, I am sorry. The last thing I needed for you was to give some justification on the bigotry I recieved.

Maybe I'm too emotional

^^^ I understand
You mentioned in the other thread that you were in your time of the month.
Now please answer the other question.

fellis: ^^^You didn't want the opinions of others on the thread?
You should have mentioned that then so I would not have wasted my time typing.
And how has thinking like this gotten anyone honor killed?

Havent young girls been killed for having non-muslim partners?

logicboy:

Havent young girls been killed for having non-muslim partners?

Oh, so that's what you meant.
I thought you were saying that thinking the man is the head of the house has gotten many muslim women honor killed.

As for young girls getting killed for having non-muslim partners, that is very unfortunate.
As far as I know, it has no place in Islam, just the handwork of overzealous extremists.

fellis:

Oh, so that's what you meant.
I thought you were saying that thinking the man is the head of the house has gotten many muslim women honor killed.

As for young girls getting killed for having non-muslim partners, that is very unfortunate.
As far as I know, it has no place in Islam, just the handwork of overzealous extremists.

It is always "extremists" until you lose someone close to you.

Eyah. Poor logic boy that lost his sweethart.
Kpele o.
Find an atheist like yourself next time so that you will not lose her to religious sanctions.

fellis: Eyah. Poor logic boy that lost his sweethart.
Kpele o.
Find an atheist like yourself next time so that you will not lose her to religious sanctions.

lol.....this all happened last year. It's over. The problem is that muslims like you will continue such bigotry and many young muslim young girls will either lose their lives, their family or break their hearts.

logicboy:

repent from what? drinking wine?

LagosShia, many muslims drink alcohol. You cant control a grown man's desires. If muhammad could have a non-muslim partner, I dont see why I shouldnt have a muslim partner

you keep talking nonsense and crying over spilled milk.

the rules are there and muslims follow them.if you like them,good.if not,it is as simple as "go away" and leave us alone.

Muslims that drink alcohol are deceiving themselves and following what confused souls do to feel "cool".there is little or no benefit from drinking alcohol.as the Quran puts it beautifully,the harm is greater than the benefit.

afterall two wrongs do not make a right.you will never get a woman who is a practicing muslim from a muslim family that will marry you.find your kind who is an atheist.at least that will save your children from confusion and yourselves from heartache.you do not have to deceive yourself.face reality.it is better if you do not marry a muslim woman.not like you'd ever get one after which she can still boast of being muslim.

LagosShia:

you keep talking nonsense and crying over spilled milk.

the rules are there and muslims follow them.if you like them,good.if not,it is as simple as "go away" and leave us alone.

Muslims that drink alcohol are deceiving themselves and following what confused souls do to feel "cool".there is little or no benefit from drinking alcohol.as the Quran puts it beautifully,the harm is greater than the benefit.

afterall two wrongs do not make a right.you will never get a woman who is a practicing muslim from a muslim family that will marry you.find your kind who is an atheist.at least that will save your children from confusion and yourselves from heartache.you do not have to deceive yourself.face reality.it is better if you do not marry a muslim woman.not like you'd ever get one after which she can still boast of being muslim.

Money talks. Women in the West do not care if you are a satanist, they will have sex with you. Some Arab women that you see getting married to their fellow muslim Arabs have had a lot of $£x with black guys in London and New York before settling down.

Furthermore, my girfriend's parents live in the same town. If they did not, it would have been easier. That was why it was easy for my cousin- the girls parents were in America while my cousin in Scotland. They spent so much time in Scotland together.

Funny enough, I am not ready for marriage. still have a lot of money to make and women to.....



I am not disturbing any muslim, rather it was muslims that were disturbing because of my girlfriend!

LagosShia:

you keep talking nonsense and crying over spilled milk.

the rules are there and muslims follow them.if you like them,good.if not,it is as simple as "go away" and leave us alone.



afterall two wrongs do not make a right.you will never get a woman who is a practicing muslim from a muslim family that will marry you.find your kind who is an atheist.at least that will save your children from confusion and yourselves from heartache.you do not have to deceive yourself.face reality.it is better if you do not marry a muslim woman.not like you'd ever get one after which she can still boast of being muslim.

haba lagosshia, take it easy with logicboy na, you sound harsh. The guy is probably drawn to the way Muslim girls are well-behaved and well-mannered and finds it hard to resist them.

But logicboy, try to resist them ok? It may be hard for you but make sure you try.
We don't want you corrupting our fine gals with your unbelieving ways.

logicboy:


Money talks. Women in the West do not care if you are a satanist, they will have sex with you. Some Arab women that you see getting married to their fellow muslim Arabs have had a lot of $£x with black guys in London and New York before settling down.

Furthermore, my girfriend's parents live in the same town. If they did not, it would have been easier. That was why it was easy for my cousin- the girls parents were in America while my cousin in Scotland. They spent so much time in Scotland together.

Funny enough, I am not ready for marriage. still have a lot of money to make and women to.....



I am not disturbing any muslim, rather it was muslims that were disturbing because of my girlfriend!

thank God,she is now gone and no one to disturb you anymore.

Islam has its rules.if an arab muslim woman wants to marry a chinese,black or american,she is free to as long as the man is muslim.whatever nonsense she does out of wedlock or rules she does not follow,she is on her own.and i am sure you are talking of "some" as there are bad eggs everywhere.

LagosShia: ^^^^^^^

thank God,she is now gone and no one to disturb you anymore.

Islam has its rules.if an arab muslim woman wants to marry a chinese,black or american,she is free to as long as the man is muslim.whatever nonsense she does out of wedlock or rules she does not follow,she is on her own.and i am sure you are talking of "some" as there are bad eggs everywhere.

I hope your daughter/grand-daughter falls in love with an atheist so that you will regret your life.