Morning nairalanders. As I type this now, am so loosing my mind and really don't know what to do.
Yestiday morning. I slapped my girlfriend& hit hard.it happened when she saw a contact on my BBM. After carefully xplaning who d person is. She didn't still listen. Ok I wanted to take my leave, but she followed me outside calling me all sorts of names, and using swearing words. Even passers by knew virtually wat was wrong. Well we went back n and she did same and dis time. She was getting too abusive and point remote controls and oda stuffs n my face. Really a fury blew up in me and next tin I lost control and slapped her hard. I walked out.dis incident has happend more than 30times. But I was totally calm and usually didn't react, der after she goes ahead and calls me a weakling..but as it has happend am feeling so sad and wishing I neva lifted my arms on her. I deserve to be shot. Cos she is and still the only girl I love.have sent her 5pages txt mssge apologizing bt she has responded or even picked my calls. She is someone I cnt do witout hearing from least a day. Now I ask my self, since my anger has been unleashed on her. Will dis now make me a wife beater? Cos it wasn't intentional, I couldn't jst control d abuses anymore. Pls I need advise on selfcontrol and way out to get her back.

Aaaahhhh, and u put this on NL? As a bro. I know what u r feeling right now as I've seen guys go thru this severally but 4 now my comments are reserved, but let NL ladies get to read this thread and be prepared 4 their curses and crucifixion; from experience op, with these ladies as part of ur case jury u can NEVER Win! Goodluck tho

I feel ur pain, I really do. Women can really get men so mad. Its really no excuse to hit a woman more the less slap her. I know u must be feeling very bad and I won´t worsen ur feeling but people posting after me would defintely not let u off the hook. U luv her so do all in ur power to make her listen. Also make sure u guys get to talk so u can explain 2 her well,...... and with patience about what caused u 2 act that way. Look guy, with women u have 2 be patient, u just must be patient. I have neva lifted my hands 2 wifey but God know she has pushed me enough times to do so, but it won´t ever be justified 2 act or hit her. I also ask God 2 give me the strength 2 be patient with her, and I believe all men should do the same.

Morning nairalanders. As I type this now, am so loosing my mind and really don't know what to do.
Yestiday morning. I slapped my girlfriend& hit hard.it happened when she saw a contact on my BBM. After carefully xplaning who d person is. She didn't still listen. Ok I wanted to take my leave, but she followed me outside calling me all sorts of names, and using swearing words. Even passers by knew virtually wat was wrong. Well we went back n and she did same and dis time. She was getting too abusive and point remote controls and oda stuffs n my face. Really a fury blew up in me and next tin I lost control and slapped her hard. I walked out.dis incident has happend more than 30times. But I was totally calm and usually didn't react, der after she goes ahead and calls me a weakling..but as it has happend am feeling so sad and wishing I neva lifted my arms on her. I deserve to be shot. Cos she is and still the only girl I love.have sent her 5pages txt mssge apologizing bt she has responded or even picked my calls. She is someone I cnt do witout hearing from least a day. Now I ask my self, since my anger has been unleashed on her. Will dis now make me a wife beater? Cos it wasn't intentional, I couldn't jst control d abuses anymore. Pls I need advise on selfcontrol and way out to get her back.

It is totally wrong for you to hit a woman, no matter what she does.If she is the shouting type, there are better ways to deal with the situation, like chatting on your phone, reading a magazine or doing some thing that shows you are not bothered at all. Since you feel remorse for what you ve done, you can go over to her place or ask someone who's close to her and she really adores to help you plead on your behalf, if she really likes you she 'll come back to you.

swiftycool: Aaaahhhh, and u put this on NL? As a bro. I know what u r feeling right now as I've seen guys go thru this severally but 4 now my comments are reserved, but let NL ladies get to read this thread and be prepared 4 their curses and crucifixion; from experience op, with these ladies as part of ur case jury u can NEVER Win! Goodluck tho

Nothing to crucify here, she provoked d situation.I don't condone beating a woman,but some ladies leave d guys wiv no options. I mean a woman waving objects and intentionally doing stuff to aggrevate her husy should expect a reaction for her actions. U don't go teasing a lion wiv meat and expect it to walk away do ya?

Poster,deep down she knows she purposely did dat to frustrate u.U have apologised and u seem sincere about it,I'll say give her time to heal.Keeping mute is a way of punishing u for ur actions, right now u deserve dat treatment.Endure! She will come around.

i understand u, we ladies can b so annoyin, i will still blame u thou 4 lettin ur anger tk ova u
hp she reasons and understands u didnt mean it
gd luck

At least you feel bad about it. Some men out there would not show remorse. That doesn't make what you did right at all. If you had gotten angry to the point of hitting her with an object and hurting her, you wouldn't be able to justify that she provoked you. The blame would be on you because you were the one who couldn't control yourself and the one who inflicted pain on her. You cannot use provocation as a defense for assault, at least over here. You would just simply get locked up, but things could be different in Naija sha. So next time, try and be careful. You said the "incident has happend more than 30times," which means you need to address whatever the problem(s) is/are, so history doesn't keep repeating itself. Right now, she probably needs a lot of space. Just give her some time to think about what she wants to do.

Been a wife beater Is not based on the advices you will get from this forum but rather is a personal decision to make. You can choose to become a wife beater or not no matter how far she pushes you to your tethers

Although am nt a girl for public scenes n noises... If d craze enta my head, and I do it one day n my bf slaps me... Slaps my own soft cheeks... No matter aw miserable or sorry he is, I won't accept him back.
Cos one day, I'l do less and he'l slap me again.
Op, I won't make u feel gud n say u won't become a wife beater... U cldnt restrain ur anger, wat if u get married to ha? She seem like d troublesome type, talkin wit her won't change her personality, it myt only be subdued for a while. So wen u get married n she unleashes her stubbornness dts how u'l be loosin ur temper n dashin her slaps anyhow.
Look for a very quiet gentle girl... She shdnt get much beatin

igwemoagbo: Morning nairalanders. As I type this now, am so loosing my mind and really don't know what to do.
Yestiday morning. I slapped my girlfriend& hit hard.it happened when she saw a contact on my BBM. After carefully xplaning who d person is. She didn't still listen. Ok I wanted to take my leave, but she followed me outside calling me all sorts of names, and using swearing words. Even passers by knew virtually wat was wrong. Well we went back n and she did same and dis time. She was getting too abusive and point remote controls and oda stuffs n my face. Really a fury blew up in me and next tin I lost control and slapped her hard. I walked out.dis incident has happend more than 30times. But I was totally calm and usually didn't react, der after she goes ahead and calls me a weakling..but as it has happend am feeling so sad and wishing I neva lifted my arms on her. I deserve to be shot. Cos she is and still the only girl I love.have sent her 5pages txt mssge apologizing bt she has responded or even picked my calls. She is someone I cnt do witout hearing from least a day. Now I ask my self, since my anger has been unleashed on her. Will dis now make me a wife beater? Cos it wasn't intentional, I couldn't jst control d abuses anymore. Pls I need advise on selfcontrol and way out to get her back.

Just reading the bolded tells me you are in for it! If you cannot find a way to deal with her tantrums you will definitely end up a wife beater if you two get married. I commend you on being calm during the past episodes, but I should also tell you that ignoring/walking out doesn't always solve the problem as she thinks she'll always get away with her behaviour. You need to talk to her about her attitude and what its turning you into, a sensible woman will pay attention to this because she wouldn't want to end up telling her mum or family that her husband kicked her out of her home due to her attitude. Talk to her with love, holding her hand and looking at her so she knows you mean business. The only thing you can do now is to give her space and when she's calm and misses you she'll come back.

Hmmm

Since you haven shown remorse and apologised, take it easy, it wil pass. Hwever, since she's good at throwing tantrums, this is an opportunity 4 you to find a way to deal with it permanently cos you are in it for a long ride. Btw this reminds of a Big Brother star game incident.

Idowuogbo:
Nothing to crucify here, she provoked d situation.I don't condone beating a woman,but some ladies leave d guys wiv no options. I mean a woman waving objects and intentionally doing stuff to aggrevate her husy should expect a reaction for her actions. U don't go teasing a lion wiv meat and expect it to walk away do ya?

Poster,deep down she knows she purposely did dat to frustrate u.U have apologised and u seem sincere about it,I'll say give her time to heal.Keeping mute is a way of punishing u for ur actions, right now u deserve dat treatment.Endure! She will come around.

A woman who can say the truth. . . . You are a true woman

Give her some time to cool off, stop sending her messages or trying to reach her. Let her be the one to reach you this time around with her decision, good or bad.

You were obviously in the wrong; still, you cannot change a human being. Therefore, it’s better for you to be free of her now, than for you to re-unite and go a step further in future.

Most importantly, learn a lesson from this; your temper is one thing you can’t get back after you loose it. So, learn how to control your temper.

U nor get washing meshing for house?!

On a more serious note, if she is like that naturally and u can't handle and display, bite the bullet and walk away hommie. Cos this will happen again and again. Get a friend of hers to talk to her to grant u audience. U guys need to TALK (listen + express ur true feelings). U have to agree on a way of dealing with conflicts in the future that works for both of you. If she is not ready to do this with you and stick to it, then like I said she's not good for you.
All the best man

Dis guy werrrin dey worry u?abi u b weakling as she talk? There was nuffin wrong wit wat u did.she needed sum hiding and she got it.now she wil tuck in.her skoin skoin will disappear trust me.am talking from experience.
My girl was like yours-no not exactly a little better sha.and for most times,she often seemed like d aggressor if we had issues.infact one day after a night out,we had a serious misunderstanding,and she slapped me wen we got home and I parked.did I hit her back?Nope.I simply picked her up and took her upstairs.next day she came,she was sorry,she was high bla bla.I shd forgiv her.I did,but I didn't forget.I filed the incident sumwhere in mind.
Fast forward a year later,and after another misunderstanding,she started shouting and ranting at me publicly.in d club.I had never hit her before,so she must have been surprised at my reaction.I grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and pushed her out of d club like a common thief. I bundled her into the car and half way home,parkd and gave her d hiding of her life.she had to try to jump out of d car onto d expressway..it was almost 3am in d morning.

We didn't talk for 2weeks after then but since that incidence,she tucked in and beacme more pliable.that was 2years ago,and as I type,she is in d kitchen preparin me a meal.since she don't want me to ever beat her again,she behaves herself and all those skirmished between me n her have reduced ever since.Never ever fear to hit a woman,but then never ever hit a woman out of fear..cos of ur own insecurities

Your story is similar to another member on this forum, in his case though his girlfriend threw his Blackberry on the floor smashing it into pieces,I think it was a bold 4.

I can't say I blame you or this other fellow am talking about. I've met some really nasty women who make me feel and I actually want to get low & dirty, forgetting class, dignity and all.

I wish you hadn't brought this to nairaland though, because the self righteous folks here will soon come out en-masse to tear you apart like they did the other guy. Giving a thousand and one reasons why you shouldn't hit a woman and why you are less of a man for doing it. Completely forgetting what the other party (in this case your girl)did wrong and the fact that you feel terrible about the incident.

I get provoked some times too and I've reacted in ways which I later regret, so long as you learn to move on not making the same mistake twice you are fine bro.

apache77: Dis guy werrrin dey worry u?abi u b weakling as she talk? There was nuffin wrong wit wat u did.she needed sum hiding and she got it.now she wil tuck in.her skoin skoin will disappear trust me.am talking from experience.
My girl was like yours-no not exactly a little better sha.and for most times,she often seemed like d aggressor if we had issues.infact one day after a night out,we had a serious misunderstanding,and she slapped me wen we got home and I parked.did I hit her back?Nope.I simply picked her up and took her upstairs.next day she came,she was sorry,she was high bla bla.I shd forgiv her.I did,but I didn't forget.I filed the incident sumwhere in mind.
Fast forward a year later,and after another misunderstanding,she started shouting and ranting at me publicly.in d club.I had never hit her before,so she must have been surprised at my reaction.I grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and pushed her out of d club like a common thief. I bundled her into the car and half way home,parkd and gave her d hiding of her life.she had to try to jump out of d car onto d expressway..it was almost 3am in d morning.

We didn't talk for 2weeks after then but since that incidence,she tucked in and beacme more pliable.that was 2years ago,and as I type,she is in d kitchen preparin me a meal.since she don't want me to ever beat her again,she behaves herself and all those skirmished between me n her have reduced ever since.Never ever fear to hit a woman,but then never ever hit a woman out of fear..cos of ur own insecurities

Cool story bro

My friends. Thanks so much for ur advice and sincere concern, have bnn advised my older ones to let her go,that she is no good. Cos for 30times it happened and I still kept my cool until yesterday it means she can't change.and definitely it ll continue like that, well am still not looking good for I have not been my self all day. Still sobbing here.belive me sincerely I don't want to let go. But like a poster said, I have to brace up for more. But I ll jst pray for Gods intervention and will to come pass, cos if she is the rite one for me, let his will be done, if not God show me a pleasant exit path, cos I cnt face anoda heart ache...

igwemoagbo: My friends. Thanks so much for ur advice and sincere concern, have bnn advised my older ones to let her go,that she is no good. Cos for 30times it happened and I still kept my cool until yesterday it means she can't change.and definitely it ll continue like that, well am still not looking good for I have not been my self all day. Still sobbing here.belive me sincerely I don't want to let go. But like a poster said, I have to brace up for more. But I ll jst pray for Gods intervention and will to come pass, cos if she is the rite one for me, let his will be done, if not God show me a pleasant exit path, cos I cnt face anoda heart ache...

How they say, "Heaven helps those who help themselves". You NEED to DO what needs to be done.
If u REALLY love her like that, I think a proper sit-down with her and talk about how both of you will deal with conflicts in the future. If agree and what makes everyone happy and prevent this kinda thing, then u guys can work out. But if this doesn't work, then bid her dueces.

igwemoagbo: My friends. Thanks so much for ur advice and sincere concern, have bnn advised my older ones to let her go,that she is no good. Cos for 30times it happened and I still kept my cool until yesterday it means she can't change.and definitely it ll continue like that, well am still not looking good for I have not been my self all day. [b]Still sobbing here.[/b]belive me sincerely I don't want to let go. But like a poster said, I have to brace up for more. But I ll jst pray for Gods intervention and will to come pass, cos if she is the rite one for me, let his will be done, if not God show me a pleasant exit path, cos I cnt face anoda heart ache...

You are sobbing because of a grilfriend

Abeg make I laff you small

Your girl is obviously still hurt, give her some time and stop bombarding her with calls and texts. Apologize for what you did which was very wrong, but don't you ever beg anybody to stay with you.

Your self esteem is very low right now, work on yourself and be in control of your emotions. When you two get back together, try and address the issues that led to this incident so it wont occur again.

I love the way you are praying for God's intervention, prayers work wonders. Keep it up. Don't worry yourself to depression, she'll come back to you if you are meant to be together.

apache77: Dis guy werrrin dey worry u?abi u b weakling as she talk? There was nuffin wrong wit wat u did.she needed sum hiding and she got it.now she wil tuck in.her skoin skoin will disappear trust me.am talking from experience.
My girl was like yours-no not exactly a little better sha.and for most times,she often seemed like d aggressor if we had issues.infact one day after a night out,we had a serious misunderstanding,and she slapped me wen we got home and I parked.did I hit her back?Nope.I simply picked her up and took her upstairs.next day she came,she was sorry,she was high bla bla.I shd forgiv her.I did,but I didn't forget.I filed the incident sumwhere in mind.
Fast forward a year later,and after another misunderstanding,she started shouting and ranting at me publicly.in d club.I had never hit her before,so she must have been surprised at my reaction.I grabbed her by the scruff of her neck and pushed her out of d club like a common thief. I bundled her into the car and half way home,parkd and gave her d hiding of her life.she had to try to jump out of d car onto d expressway..it was almost 3am in d morning.

We didn't talk for 2weeks after then but since that incidence,she tucked in and beacme more pliable.that was 2years ago,and as I type,she is in d kitchen preparin me a meal.since she don't want me to ever beat her again,she behaves herself and all those skirmished between me n her have reduced ever since.Never ever fear to hit a woman,but then never ever hit a woman out of fear..cos of ur own insecurities

this is serious!
@post,if ANY man dares slap me for ANY reason in the world,that'll be the end of that relationship NO MATTER WHAT!
@op,you have apologised to her and its left for her to accept you back or not!
If she does take you back with your self-control issues and her temper/sharp tongue,there's definitely an iminent beating sometime down the line i.e your relationship/marriage.
Na una two sabi abeg!

igwemoagbo: My friends. Thanks so much for ur advice and sincere concern, have bnn advised my older ones to let her go,that she is no good. Cos for 30times it happened and I still kept my cool until yesterday it means she can't change.and definitely it ll continue like that, well am still not looking good for I have not been my self all day. Still sobbing here.belive me sincerely I don't want to let go. But like a poster said, I have to brace up for more. But I ll jst pray for Gods intervention and will to come pass, cos if she is the rite one for me, let his will be done, if not God show me a pleasant exit path, cos I cnt face anoda heart ache...

U see I was nice earlier on o! Now I think I better unleash small Badosky give u. Y u crying? Touch ur balls and tell me if na 1 and a half.Listen!don't send any txt or call dat woman. Trust me! If she doesn't hear a word from you for a maximum of 2Days, she go gentle. All dis her catwoman swagga go melt wen u ignore her stubborn traits.Haba! She b God? 30times u no talk, u con massage her cheek small and apologised and she still forming wan tin tin abi? Guy! fair enough ur fawck up no make sense but she wan take ur person for Mugun na! Grown man crying ke! Who bash ya car? U beta laugh b4 I vex enter screen scatter slap give u! Nansense!!!

@op.... Abeg broda no mind all these NL chics wai dy collect even punch from their man, come here dey form bullshit...

Having said that, what you did was wrong but you have done whats needed to be done.. Relax she will come around.

slimyem: this is serious!
@post,if ANY man dares slap me for ANY reason in the world,that'll be the end of that relationship NO MATTER WHAT!
@op,you have apologised to her and its left for her to accept you back or not!
If she does take you back with your self-control issues and her temper/sharp tongue,there's definitely an iminent beating sometime down the line i.e your relationship/marriage.
Na una two sabi abeg!

for any reason you said... I dey laf... Abeg go sidon for dirty...

Idowuogbo:

U see I was nice earlier on o! Now I think I better unleash small Badosky give u. Y u crying? Touch ur balls and tell me if na 1 and a half.Listen!don't send any txt or call dat woman. Trust me! If she doesn't hear a word from you for a maximum of 2Days, she go gentle. All dis her catwoman swagga go melt wen u ignore her stubborn traits.Haba! She b God? 30times u no talk, u con massage her cheek small and apologised and she still forming wan tin tin abi? Guy! fair enough ur fawck up no make sense but she wan take ur person for Mugun na! Grown man crying ke! Who bash ya car? U beta laugh b4 I vex enter screen scatter slap give u! Nansense!!!

If you can.. Pls do. He needs it

Really all your post are making me laugh again....really thank you guys well enuf.@idowuagbo. Specially you...na wah oh. I belive I ll be fine if I listen to you guys like this every day. Not that I ll bring all my shit here oh, just lovely post for u pple ll sure make my day. Thanks guys and me NL ladies.

sexkillz: Why are you loosing your mind? You should be happy. . . Nonsense!

Idowuogbo:

U see I was nice earlier on o! Now I think I better unleash small Badosky give u. Y u crying? Touch ur balls and tell me if na 1 and a half.Listen!don't send any txt or call dat woman. Trust me! If she doesn't hear a word from you for a maximum of 2Days, she go gentle. All dis her catwoman swagga go melt wen u ignore her stubborn traits.Haba! She b God? 30times u no talk, u con massage her cheek small and apologised and she still forming wan tin tin abi? Guy! fair enough ur fawck up no make sense but she wan take ur person for Mugun na! Grown man crying ke! Who bash ya car? U beta laugh b4 I vex enter screen scatter slap give u! Nansense!!!

Nairaland no go kill person o

Any man who dares lay a finger on me wnt even knw wat happened to him.I always keep a nice razor in my purse.it comes in handy

sleekch1c: Any man who dares lay a finger on me wnt even knw wat happened to him.I always keep a nice razor in my purse.it comes in handy

Razor or no razor, I swear τ̅o God, u will be a dead meat if u pull any stunt wit me! Йą chics like u dey drive men crazy! Ђδω can u even tink of carryin a razor around I̶̲̥̅̊n Ūя̅ bag while chillin wit Ūя̅ lover? Which kind violent chics God dey create dis days? & u xpect a man not τ̅o beat u τ̅o pulp wit such mentality? Nonsense!!!
ALERT! ALERT!! ALERT!!!
A NL female razor carrier on †ЂΞ prowl!
Guys beware!