Nairaland Forum

99% of Nigerian married men I know are unhappy, while some are dead at a tender age. Honestly, the Nigerian ladies will never agree their fault & flaws that seems to be more rampant of recent- i.e. their recent quest for materialism & self-gratification instead of the usual search for true value. & what is the effect of this on Nigerian men? Men now do, indulge in all sorts of corrupt & evil things to please the Nigerian ladies, which often leads to their being unhappy in marriage (struggling too much to sustain a woman brings unhappiness). When u study the recent trend in marriage in Nigeria, it just seems marriage is no longer a vital union but a union intended to only please & satisfy women. a union where all Nigerian women tozzzle to get into just to offload their lifetime troubles on a man instead of sharing the burden with the man. What do most Nigerian ladies bring to the table of marriage? intimacy & maybe little performance of house chores, is that supposed to be so? even the high-income earners amongst the married ladies in Nigeria, hide their income from their hubby, some become unruly & disrespectful to their hubby just becos they earn an income. Haven't u guys observed that once a Nigerian lady or say ladies in general, becomes rich or too financially independent, she becomes unmarriageable (if single), she now sees all men coming her way as gold-diggers, as enemies, & ungovernable/unruly (if married), why? This alone should tell all humankind that God did not create woman to have so much financial freedom, which most ladies enjoy today, which is why marriages are no longer sacred & sweet as it used to be. women are supposed to derive their joy & happiness from the man. This is where I see American/European ways of life & culture destroying the world- over-empowering women financially & otherwise. This is where I commend the Arab world...Finally, if Nigerian marriages must become sweet & appealing as it used to be, Nigerian women must be stopped from becoming too financially independent becos over-empowering women destroys their humility & womanliness. If u doubt me, check through the rich single ladies u know & watch out how many that are married & those married, how many that are happily married.

Therefore in a summary, many Nigerian married men are unhappy for the reasons below:
1. Majority married the wrong wife (not their dream woman) becos they were either turned down by their dream women for the fact that they had no or less money & comfort which majority of the Nigerian ladies are now after.
2. Most men are under pressure to sustain their family & wife's insatiable material demands in marriage. And most times, they don't have anyone to share their burden with, hence end up being perpetually unhappy as the marriage wheel spins.
3. Most men are cut off from their siblings & friends (who lighten them up in trouble times) by their wives who are constantly wishing to live alone with their husbands so they don't assist or help any, hence the men feel handicaped & imprisoned in marriage.
4. Men are often cut off from social life by their wives- either directly or indirectly through frequent nagging & complains.
5. Men love new things, they always want their women looking enticing, & most women in Nigeria ignore & abandon their looks once married with kids, hence the men get bored & start considering away & being unhappy in the process. etc, etc, etc....BRB!

This post is 1 man's view. . . Don't agree one bit

Kai if majority of married men are very very unhappy, then going into marriage will be a very big risk. I always desire to be happy but marriage will make unhappy, i rather not go into it. Now i think the best prayer married people need is happiness. If a man is always unhappy he may likely die before his time. happiness= longitivity.

gemstone22: I read a lot of post on marriage in NL and I find one vital ingredient missing when relationship and marriage are talked about and that is love. Love is the essential ingredient that binds a man and woman together forever despite their shortcoming and flaws, their status financially and otherwise and their colour and language. Love break barriers. It makes you believe in ur spouse and help him or her overcome whatever imperfections they might have.
Many men get married because it is something they must do. They are probably tired of sleeping alone or coming home to a empty house with no food laid on the table ready to eat and no one to laugh with.They scroll through their list of girlfriends and make their choice based on how well she cooks ,cleans ,fvck or perhaps because she has a killer body and pretty face. Then they marry and find out that courtship is different from marriage. Her flaws begins to show. Perhaps She doesn't put the top back after using the toothpaste or maybe she is not a great organiser or she doesn't love socialising. She might even be a nag or a gossip or the kind of woman who gets fat when the babies begin to cum in or her womanliness might not be so firm when the babies arrive and marriage becomes a bore. Instead of helping their spouses become better, they cheat on them and try to justify their actions laying the blame on the woman.
If there is love in any marriage,it will stand the test of time. Every marriage is made up of two incomplete people coming together to become one. They have to learn to treat one another as they would want to be treated and to respect each other. They give to each other. Love will make them face any storm and come out victorious. No marriage is perfect but any marriage will work if it is built on love and on God.

Love is transient, epileptic, intangible, unquantifiable, duplicious and misunderstandable. Hence it can't be the most essential ingredient of successful marriages.

Compromise is! Successful marriages are built on compromise.

Compromise by means of contentment, forgoing, giving, sharing etc. You must be able to tolerate shyt sometimes and you must be able to see someone else you want more or that is more ideal for you needs at that time and look away.

That is why you hear married people say it is not a bed of roses. They just don't want to speak out loudly and explicitly about their pains so as not to jinx or damage the marriage more.

^ the second paragraph is superb! Aptly put.
80% of married men I know are extremely happy, proud of their wives and would do it all again if given a second chance.

ifyalways: ^ the second paragraph is superb! Aptly put.
80% of married men I know are extremely happy, proud of their wives and would do it all again if given a second chance.

And out of those 80%, at least 80% of them are cheating or have cheated on their wives to remain extremely happy.

It still amazes me today how men that are not as happy in marriage as they were when single are quick to publicly pronounce in public they are happily married, especially when their wife is present. It even becomes more stomach churning when they attribute all their professional successes to her contribution. They have watched a lot of hollywood movies and know they have to do that to make her feel good. Women do a good job at putting pressure on them to be trained like that. But the most stomach churning of all is when these men tell single men to go and marry. WTF! I know the chic you are hitting outside the house and doing undergee. To me, it is like when smokers, drinkers or substance abusers pressure you to join them in their bad habit. They never want to do it alone.

Most marriages are compromises of people's ideal partners from the beginning, I cannot see how majority of people can be extremely happy in it. More so men that are naturally visual beings and when the wife has kids and she has reduced interest in intimacy, is less confident plus becomes less attractive. The men just have to compromise more.

Or women that are more attracted to danger and bad boys but settle for good boys because of emotional and companionship security. They still want their bad boys but know it is dangerous, unreliable and they can not have him in the long-term.

Don't get me wrong, I am not blaming women. I accept and respect nature. No one can be blamed for something they can not control.

As far as I am concerned, I will not compromise for marriage. I would only marry someone I am absolutely attracted to. A woman I see and I think "God, I want to bend you down and give you a good seeing to all fcking night". Any woman pissed at such mental cinemation and gets offended calling men like me "perverts", "shallow" etc can go to hell. I am not ashamed to say looks matter a fcking lot. She must satisfy my visual desires well.

Then she must compliment it with personality, that is what will make me happy to compromise when the looks start fading. At least if she is hot, it will fade slower, so I can compromise well and live with that.

To hell with that she is a nice girl na. Dem normally dey become nice when their clock is tickng and their looks are declining. A woman I marry must have a nice personality and be hot-looking. Now that is an extremely rare combination, more so amongst the usual shyt-headed Nigerian girls, hence I am happy to be single.

I aint compromising before marrriage, I will compromise reasonably after it. If I have and have enjoyed what I want, then it is easier to look away when I see something else.

Lol but I won't argue your statistics as I don't have all the facts and moreso not a man. Men have had this extremely ridiculous theory that a man can and would "bunk lady a while thinking of miss b" meaning the scrotal sac and its tenats are not on the same page with the head/ heart. Hmmn
Does it also mean that on average, a man's happiness is proportional to the "physical attributes" of his woman? Remember, 80% of the married men I know have "cheated to remain happy". . . According to you.
I wonder if the married women are also unhappy in their marriages and hence cheating Cos the kini that once fires @ one touch now needs to be pushed, warmed up for 30 mins before one gets a semi action?
Do we as women just share the memo and accept without doubt that "nearly all supposedly happily married men are happy in their marriages Cos they get the chance to cheat once in a while" ?
I have no answers oh and its good listening to the men provide it on here.
Btw, your last paragraph is cool.
Sagamite, happiness is relative and if staying married but carefully cheating is a mans definition of happiness then so be it. It does not mean the man is "unhappy" in his marriage, it simply makes the man an insatiable dog. A "happily" married dog or maybe aside s.ex, there are other aspects of married life that equally leave men 'happy'. You wouldn't know till you get into the system. . . Lol

ifyalways: ^ the second paragraph is superb! Aptly put.
80% of married men I know are extremely happy, proud of their wives and would do it all again if given a second chance.

80% of men i know are also "happily married". They put up the facade of being happy in their marriages and yet, they turn into something else when in the company of the old time buddies and spend 99.9% of the discussion time either complaining about their wives/inlaws/children or talking about some new chick that's giving them the joy that's lacking in their marriages. It's all a facade and nothing more. Any man who appears "happy" in his marriage is getting that "happiness" externally.

The most beautiful time in a relationship is the dating season when the woman is at her "best behavior". Once the ring of bondage is on her finger, she drops the act. Once a child comes through, she reveals her true self and doesn't give a damn coz she knows the bond is now complete. The only time when the woman behaves herself is if the husband is a loose cannon that can dump her in a fraction of a second (even with 5 kids in between) AND SHE KNOWS IT!!!

The lovey dovey type of guys are the ones who get man handled by their wives and live miserable lives. Give me one reason why any sane man should get married and i'll give you ONE DOZEN REASONS why a man shouldn't!

Nuff said.

ifyalways: Lol but I won't argue your statistics as I don't have all the facts and moreso not a man. Men have had this extremely ridiculous theory that a man can and would "bunk lady a while thinking of miss b" meaning the scrotal sac and its tenats are not on the same page with the head/ heart. Hmmn

I don't understand this part/parable.

Explain.

ifyalways:
Does it also mean that on average, a man's happiness is proportional to the "physical attributes" of his woman? Remember, 80% of the married men I know have "cheated to remain happy". . . According to you.

Physical attribute of a female partner plays a significant part in a man's happiness.

If a woman meets threshold though, that is enough. At least in my view.

Let me explain: Kim Kardashian is the hottest looking a girl can be, in my opinion. If I am married to Meagan Good, that does not mean if I meet Kim, I would do anything because Kim has superior physical attributes. Nah! Meagan can trust me on that. She is well above the threshold and I would be happy to tap that Bottom till I have to compromise or kick the bucket.

If she is hot (above threshold for the subject), then she would most likely make the subject happy if she has a good personality as well.

ifyalways:
I wonder if the married women are also unhappy in their marriages and hence cheating Cos the kini that once fires @ one touch now needs to be pushed, warmed up for 30 mins before one gets a semi action?

Women cheat too you know. Lets not try and play that goofy prank sold to "Real Men" with Omo Sagamu. I don't live my life trying to please women by saying what they want to hear. I drop it like is hot.

Women cheat too but not just as much or as frequently as men.

A woman that has been turned on by bad boys or danger guys all her life and has had to settle and marry a good guy for stability might miss the fun of the challenge of trying to change a bad boy. They miss the vibe and dominance of a bad boy. A man that can tell them where the fck to go if they get out of line. The shyt that turns them on. They might still meet such men at work or other places and kick it once in a while.

Lets stop selling that cocktail that women are altruistic saints while men are selfish basta[i]r[/i]ds.

ifyalways:
Do we as women just share the memo and accept without doubt that "nearly all supposedly happily married men are happy in their marriages Cos they get the chance to cheat once in a while" ?
I have no answers oh and its good listening to the men provide it on here.
Btw, your last paragraph is cool.
Sagamite, happiness is relative and if staying married but carefully cheating is a mans definition of happiness then so be it. It does not mean the man is "unhappy" in his marriage, it simply makes the man an insatiable dog. A "happily" married dog or maybe aside s.ex, there are other aspects of married life that equally leave men 'happy'. You wouldn't know till you get into the system. . . Lol

The reality is that each woman would have to deal with the situation as best as it pleases her and works for her.

I have no shadow of a doubt or worry for one second about an average women doing what is in her best interest. They are professionals in that.

Now stop that name-calling. He is still a man even if he cheats, not a dog. Not immature. Not a basta[i]r[/i]d. Etc. You women love to use words to shape men to do things in your favour.

I am sure kids are one of the core things that can contribute to happiness in a marriage. That is one thing a single man may miss and the weapon a woman can use to attract them to marriage.

harakiri:
The most beautiful time in a relationship is the dating season when the woman is at her "best behavior". Once the ring of bondage is on her finger, she drops the act. Once a child comes through, she reveals her true self and doesn't give a damn coz she knows the bond is now complete. The only time when the woman behaves herself is if the husband is a loose cannon that can dump her in a fraction of a second (even with 5 kids in between) AND SHE KNOWS IT!!!

So bleeping well said.

I was thinking about it about 30 mins ago to say it on NL but it slipped my mind.

So absolutely fcking well said.

I have learnt in life that you can rarely be happy with a woman and you are not mature enough for long-term relationship with a woman until you are capable of telling her to go to hell if needs be and she knows you would.

I have become fcking good at that shyt men. I am a professional! None of that "You are everything BS".

I let them know I can and would move on. Behave or you are a goner! No matter how fine you are, there are hundreds of you out there and I am good at getting them.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Apc_g_ZSZEE

Sagamite:

So bleeping well said.

I was thinking about it about 30 mins ago to say it on NL but it slipped my mind.

So absolutely fcking well said.

I have learnt in life that you can never be happy with a woman and you are not mature enough for long-term relationship with a woman until you are capable of telling her to go to hell if needs be and she knows you would.

I have become fcking good at that shyt men. I am a professional! None of that "You are everything BS".

I let them know I can and would move on. Behave or you are a goner! No matter how fine you are, there are hundreds of you out there and I am good at getting them.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Apc_g_ZSZEE

End of!

I'll be brief. Lol
A man according to most men on this board can only stay sane and happy in their marriages, if he occasionally cuts show discretly outside. Their emotions, devotion and loyalty still belong to the wives @ home. they (say or think) love the wife but as a matter of fact must cheat with no strings attached and with anything that has a hole.
Sagamite is married to Jenny but he can he cheat with queensmith with Jennys image in his head.he believes he would be unhappy the day he stops fvcking queensmith and at same time claims he only sees queen Cos his dyke is on a different wavelenght from his head or heart.this just like sums up the 2 weird arguments from most men on this board :
You can fvck a girl you are not emotionally attached to.
You can be happy in your erstwhile "unhappy" married life so long as you keep cheating.

Some of you men are confused dogs. Lolz

ifyalways: I'll be brief. Lol
A man according to most men on this board can only stay sane and happy in their marriages, if he occasionally cuts show discretly outside. Their emotions, devotion and loyalty still belong to the wives @ home. they (say or think) love the wife but as a matter of fact must cheat with no strings attached and with anything that has a hole.

No, you got it wrong love.

What was said was not that. What was said is that, most men that claim happiness now are either unhappy or are only happy because they are kicking it outside. Not that a man can only be happy if they are occasionally kicking it outside. And obviously some men (albeit a small fraction) are happy in marriage without kicking it outside.

A solution proffered to remedy this is: Most men should marry only women they are extremely attracted to, with a nice personality and who knows she should not get too comfortable to the point of misbehaving. By doing this the men can have a good foundation to be happy in a marriage. Most are not doing this at the moment. Most are compromising before marriage.

ifyalways:
Sagamite is married to Jenny but he can he cheat with queensmith with Jennys image in his head.he believes he would be unhappy the day he stops fvcking queensmith and at same time claims he only sees queen Cos his dyke is on a different wavelenght from his head or heart.this just like sums up the 2 weird arguments from most men on this board :
You can fvck a girl you are not emotionally attached to.
You can be happy in your erstwhile "unhappy" married life so long as you keep cheating.

Some of you men are confused dogs. Lolz

[vomits]

Anuofia!

God forbid bad thing.

I reject in the name of Jesus!

Lol, harakiri is out. Its a full house.
Erhm, the thread is about men who have chosen to :
Be unhappy in their marriages.
To remain in their so called unhappy marriages.

Are women to be blamed for this as well

Methinks, that men that fits into the above description are "confused dogs who want to eat their cakes and have it"

Lmao!

ifyalways: Lol, harakiri is out. Its a full house.
Erhm, the thread is about men who have chosen to :
Be unhappy in their marriages.
To remain in their so called unhappy marriages.

Are women to be blamed for this as well

Methinks, that men that fits into the above description are "confused dogs who want to eat their cakes and have it"

Lmao!

Why call them dogs?

Why don't you call them lions? Lions too fck around na.

Women and the use of euphemisms to train mugu men to be "Real Men". Women are professionals!

I got your points now sir but still if men have a problem and can't deal with it without trying to rope us women in,they'd be the one to come out with shyte on their faces not us.lol
Btw,what are u rejecting,your key to happiness and bliss?Someone wants to go to bed cold,alone and "unhappy" tonite

ifyalways: I got your points now sir but still if men have a problem and can't deal with it without trying to rope us women in,they'd be the one to come out with shyte on their faces not us.lol
Btw,what are u rejecting,your key to happiness and bliss?Someone wants to go to bed cold,alone and "unhappy" tonite

Stop your tasteless jokes before I send thunder reach you.

You are going to give me cold nightmares and make me impotent for months if you continue with this ridiculosity.

Anyway, what do you mean by roping women in? And shyt on their face?

I don't get it. You also forgot to explain the part above I requested earlier for further explanation.

For all:

Some of the lame arguments I here frequently from people trying to get a single guy married:

"You will die lonely and miserable"

Err, No! He would have fun and when he gets old there would still be several women (men die before women), some widowers, some divorcees, some young girls that love older men that he can still settle with. Women till the end of the world will always want company, so these women would gladly date him. All laid on the table for the man after years of tapping a variety of arses.

"You have to marry young so you can still play football with your kids when they are young"

BULLSHYT!

No 1, what guarantees you that you will have a boy?

No 2, I know many young married men. I don't know any that plays footballs with his kids. Hollywood ideal, romantic, loving family stories are different from real life. Even if they did, I doubt many father do at any form of intensity that a 45 year old can not.

All these useless scare tactics to make men please women.

Sagamite:



I aint compromising before marrriage, I will compromise reasonably after it. If I have and have enjoyed what I want, then it is easier to look away when I see something else.

seconded

Sagamite: For all:

Some of the lame arguments I here frequently from people trying to get a single guy married:

"You will die lonely and miserable"

Err, No! He would have fun and when he gets old there would still be several women (men die before women), some widowers, some divorcees, some young girls that love older men that he can still settle with. Women till the end of the world will always want company, so these women would gladly date him. All laid on the table for the man after years of tapping a variety of arses.

"You have to marry young so you can still play football with your kids when they are young"

BULLSHYT!

No 1, what guarantees you that you will have a boy?

No 2, I know many young married men. I don't know any that plays footballs with his kids. Even if they did, I doubt many father do at any form of intensity that a 45 year old can not.

All these useless scare tactics to make men please women.

You forgot to add :

You're "beanies" work better and make her pregnant faster when you are young...lol

Sagamite & his cohorts are real men...I am enjoying your lines of arguments...you guys are blunt on this topic, not mincing words to please any ear or eye reading...Honestly speaking, with the likes of ladies Nigeria hosts today, marriage is as scary as being POOR, and even more scary than going to HELL! And the only solution I see to it is this: our ladies should try & discard some western cultures & norms, they are not doing them any good at all. Some western cultures have shaped Nigerian ladies into heartless, selfish, ungovernable/unruly creatures good for friendship alone. Any lady that wants to find true love & get married & then remain happily married forever, should combine her good looks with good personality & humility, which are mostly lacking in most ladies of today. The situation today is this: you see a very pretty Nigerian lady, very attractive, then she will be ugly in character, manner & attitude. she will lack humility & respect, & she will also be wayward in character. then u see an ugly-looking girl, she will be pretty in character, over-dedicated to religion to the extent that she becomes scary. you see a pretty girl from a well to do family & maybe with good job, her lifestyle will be a mess, he character will be so smelly like animal dunk. then u see another averagely looking lady, working & okay, and she will be so pompous & full of herself, see all men who aren't times three affluent as she thinks she is as below her class. etc, etc. But I can remember my mother, so pretty, good-mannered & a blessing to my father, her family & all, & yet humble & dedicated to God...but hardly can u find a very attractive working class single lady in Nigeria who is humble, good-mannered & reserved in manner & spirit, why? It is now only the least attractive & poor girls that are good-mannered becos of their conditions & once a man decides to marry them & clean them up, they become untouchable queen of sheba, why? Becos of all these recent conditions, Nigerian guys are now afraid of getting married, but pressure from family, parents & society always make them to marry ladies that are never their dream woman; hence they compromise & marry below their wish & end up being unhappy in the marriage. Ladies claiming married men they know are happy, who told u? are u a man? speak for yourself, we are men & we have lots of married men as friends & colleagues, & we do chat & mix with them. don't think becos they tell u that they are happy means they are. becos they are laughing & smiling with their wives on sunday at churches doesn't mean they are happy okay? Marriage in Nigeria seem to only favor ladies than men & thats why wedding day is the happiest day in every Nigerian ladies life, but not same with men- his happiest day in life is the day he buys his first dream car, finishes his house, gets promoted or seals his first multi-million business deal or contract & not his wedding day. In fact let me tell u the truth, men hate wedding days, simple. if not for society, family & religion, most men won't wed. & if not for kids, majority of men in Nigeria of today won't marry! you can find out yourself. Seriously the Nigerian ladies need to change, start advising themselves to change to encourage guys to dream & desire to marry, else....

Mariage is a very interesting institution,what can a single guy do that a married guy cannot do?its just that you need to prepare before you venture into it.the thought of my wife and kids always bring me home,the good food''the my daddy this and my daddy that''from the kids are all fun.a good family gives you a kind of special joy that money cannot give.dont be decieved family life is fun.you know those qualities that you ll like your woman to possess,look for a lady that has them and you re almost there,from the inception pls dont tolerate attitudes that are not acceptable to you as you might have quite a task trying to change them in the future.dont marry at old age its not worth it.

ummmm,
like she can't ask you to go to hell too
when you are done acting up and putting up false toughie here, no forget to make dinner. also make the steak well cooked too.
oh, please change that grill to charco grill and put lot of pepper while marinating it.
also, pick up some scented candle for the bath

Sagamite:

So bleeping well said.

I was thinking about it about 30 mins ago to say it on NL but it slipped my mind.

So absolutely fcking well said.

I have learnt in life that you can rarely be happy with a woman and you are not mature enough for long-term relationship with a woman until you are capable of telling her to go to hell if needs be and she knows you would.

I have become fcking good at that shyt men. I am a professional! None of that "You are everything BS".

I let them know I can and would move on. Behave or you are a goner! No matter how fine you are, there are hundreds of you out there and I am good at getting them.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Apc_g_ZSZEE

eling? dont you go to church? talk to someone u know he respects.

well i guess both of u married for wrong reason(s).
also it could be that you are not doing all u suppose to do, but u think u are giving in all required of ur marriage.

when did he start cheating? after ur marriage? have u changed in ur looks? well before i can go further, i am not blaming u for any reason yet, but the problem maybe with u. i dont know the details, so all is maybe this, maybe that. if u want to share with me, i can tell u what to do to win ur hubby back, a friend of mine confided in me , and today, she is enjoying her marriage. i gave her solutions that worked for her.

You are right

jimmayoy: Mariage is a very interesting institution,what can a single guy do that a married guy cannot do?its just that you need to prepare before you venture into it.the thought of my wife and kids always bring me home,the good food''the my daddy this and my daddy that''from the kids are all fun.a good family gives you a kind of special joy that money cannot give.dont be decieved family life is fun.you know those qualities that you ll like your woman to possess,look for a lady that has them and you re almost there,from the inception pls dont tolerate attitudes that are not acceptable to you as you might have quite a task trying to change them in the future.dont marry at old age its not worth it.

This is the typical senseless junk one hears.

See someone asking what can a single guy do that a married man can not do. What utter rubbish!

You can take a job in Kazakhstan to start in the next 30 days like I can?

You can leave a friends place at 3am three days in a role or even decide you are too tired to drive and sleep on his couch like I can?

You can decide to have paanla [*Coughs*] today instead of brokotor [*Coughs*] you had yesterday like I can?

You can decide "I just want peace and solitude" for the next one week like I can?

You can decide there are things you are not ecstatic in doing so you are not going to do them like I can?

armyofone: ummmm,
like she can't ask you to go to hell too
when you are done acting up and putting up false toughie here, no forget to make dinner. also make the steak well cooked too.
oh, please change that grill to charco grill and put lot of pepper while marinating it.
also, pick up some scented candle for the bath

Una see the stress men have to face when they marry.

She is already giving hints of the misery married man would have to put up with otherwise there would be no peace in the house.

As per he r telling me to go to hell?

If she leaves, she is leaving the best

So she is gonna have to settle for less

DailyNews: Sagamite & his cohorts are real men...I am enjoying your lines of arguments...you guys are blunt on this topic, not mincing words to please any ear or eye reading...Honestly speaking, with the likes of ladies Nigeria hosts today, marriage is as scary as being POOR, and even more scary than going to HELL! And the only solution I see to it is this: our ladies should try & discard some western cultures & norms, they are not doing them any good at all. Some western cultures have shaped Nigerian ladies into heartless, selfish, ungovernable/unruly creatures good for friendship alone. Any lady that wants to find true love & get married & then remain happily married forever, should combine her good looks with good personality & humility, which are mostly lacking in most ladies of today. The situation today is this: you see a very pretty Nigerian lady, very attractive, then she will be ugly in character, manner & attitude. she will lack humility & respect, & she will also be wayward in character. then u see an ugly-looking girl, she will be pretty in character, over-dedicated to religion to the extent that she becomes scary. you see a pretty girl from a well to do family & maybe with good job, her lifestyle will be a mess, he character will be so smelly like animal dunk. then u see another averagely looking lady, working & okay, and she will be so pompous & full of herself, see all men who aren't times three affluent as she thinks she is as below her class. etc, etc. But I can remember my mother, so pretty, good-mannered & a blessing to my father, her family & all, & yet humble & dedicated to God...but hardly can u find a very attractive working class single lady in Nigeria who is humble, good-mannered & reserved in manner & spirit, why? It is now only the least attractive & poor girls that are good-mannered becos of their conditions & once a man decides to marry them & clean them up, they become untouchable queen of sheba, why? Becos of all these recent conditions, Nigerian guys are now afraid of getting married, but pressure from family, parents & society always make them to marry ladies that are never their dream woman; hence they compromise & marry below their wish & end up being unhappy in the marriage. Ladies claiming married men they know are happy, who told u? are u a man? speak for yourself, we are men & we have lots of married men as friends & colleagues, & we do chat & mix with them. don't think becos they tell u that they are happy means they are. becos they are laughing & smiling with their wives on sunday at churches doesn't mean they are happy okay? Marriage in Nigeria seem to only favor ladies than men & thats why wedding day is the happiest day in every Nigerian ladies life, but not same with men- his happiest day in life is the day he buys his first dream car, finishes his house, gets promoted or seals his first multi-million business deal or contract & not his wedding day. In fact let me tell u the truth, men hate wedding days, simple. if not for society, family & religion, most men won't wed. & if not for kids, majority of men in Nigeria of today won't marry! you can find out yourself. Seriously the Nigerian ladies need to change, start advising themselves to change to encourage guys to dream & desire to marry, else....

Correction young man: I am not a Real Man, I am All Man.

A Real Man would never say what I say. They only say what women want to hear so they get a good pat on the back from women for being a "good boy".

Apart from that, great points and observation.

In terms of the highlighted, you are on point. I should add that the typical fine girl that would say nothing is wrong with her stinking attitude would change it to a nice attitude if she ends up not married and her looks start fading. Then she would be complaining that I am a nice girl why don't guys want to marry me.

God forbid I marry a fine girl with bad personality. God forbid I marry a not-so-fine girl with great personality.

I would gladly bang the fine girl without personality and never put a ring on it. I would gladly bang the not-so-fine girl in times of poor form and never put a ring on it.

I aint compromising before marriage.

Sagamite:

Correction young man: I am not a Real Man, I am All Man.

A Real Man would never say what I say. They only say what women want to hear so they get a good pat on the back from women for being a "good boy".

Apart from that, great points and observation.

In terms of the highlighted, you are on point. I should add that the typical fine girl that would say nothing is wrong with her stinking attitude would change it to a nice attitude if she ends up not married and her looks start fading. Then she would be complaining that I am a nice girl why don't guys want to marry me.

God forbid I marry a fine girl with bad personality. God forbid I marry a not-so-fine girl with great personality.

I would gladly bang the fine girl without personality and never put a ring on it. I would gladly bang the not-so-fine girl in times of poor form and never put a ring on it.

I aint compromising before marriage.

Each time I go through your post, I laf my azz off...I see myself grinning & showing off my toothless gum like my aged grandpa struggling with some peace of bush meat...lol...the only place I disagree with you, not that I am condemning u either, becos we all are not perfect, but struggling to perfection, is the area of sleeping with ladies you don't want or wish to marry....maybe I am too old fashioned in that aspect, pardon me....but then, I just wonder why Nigerian ladies cannot have both: excellent character, humility & cute physical appearance. why must they have one & lack in many other qualities nowadays? its so unfortunate that once a Nigerian girl considers herself as pretty or fyn & maybe do receives lots of 'u are fyn' compliment from guys, she transforms herself into a local god that most of them always live to regret later in their lives. sincerely speaking, too much of western culture is arrogance, & thats y we Nigerians must apply wisdom in adopting some western cultures, especially those involving lifestyle, family values, relationship, norms & beliefs. too much of watching oprah winfrey destroys Godly womanliness. why are most pretty rich ladies always single, dovorced or preaching against men? why couldn't oprah winfrey maintain a healthy happy marriage? becos she thinks she has wealth & so all men are worthless & yet lots of ladies see her as a role model. if Bill Gates was a woman, he would never marry becos every man will be bad to her. If Mark Zoekerbeck the owner of facebook was a girl, he would never marry cos all men will be evil to her. If Dangote was a woman, he would never marry becos all men will be monsters coming to rip her off. But all these great men married, but check out some few ladies that were fortunate enof to make it to the rich list- they hardly marry cos of ill-manner & unruly character. all these I keep telling people, are some of the few reasons why a woman ought not to be too rich or excessively empowered with money becos naturally, a woman has no good relationship with money! e.g. give a woman u love too much money & provide all her financial needs & beyond, she terms it that u are using money to entice her, she start to fall for a poorer guy & even give ur money to that guy. if u do not give her money & economizes with her, she calls a a tightfistted man or stingy, etc, they r gud in callin men names. if she has d money herself, every man that is not as rich as she is becomes worthless, gold-digger, wretched, below her class, peanuts, etc. & those above her class want to use her & run, she see them as use & dump, dog, arrogant, controlling, etc...all a woman deserves is little comfort which ought to come from a man (her husband) to make her reasonable, Godly & motherly.

Back to u sagamite, your reason(s) are also inline with that of so many guys including those hiding or avoiding to comment, and thats why lesser & lesser number of marriageable men in Nigeria of today are getting married. If the trend continues, & our Nigerian ladies continue with their recent lifestyle, marriage will go into extinction in Nigeria, & men will just sleep with a female of their choice to have babies which is the most single reason most men are still entering into marriage.

@Jimmayoy, sure I believe u...& the most interesting thing about marriage is the kids...they are wonderful- thinking of them makes me wish to marry, aside that, I am yet to see a genuine reason to marry in this recent times. @ladies reading this, just take this as preaching or sermon or word of tot, etc to look inwards & amend some of your ways & also lean on God to help reform your life. Sincerely speaking, the Nigerian men (rich, poor, average, affluent, just name it) of today are no longer comfortable with your recent way of life; many won't tell you this truth becos they are enjoying & reaping from your wayward & immoral lifestyles....but if you are wise & desire true happiness & love, make a change for your own good & stop copying western cultures & from other unruly ladies. peace!

DailyNews:
the only place I disagree with you, not that I am condemning u either, becos we all are not perfect, but struggling to perfection, is the area of sleeping with ladies you don't want or wish to marry....maybe I am too old fashioned in that aspect, pardon me

Out of curiosity, why would you not?

Sagamite:

Correction young man: I am not a Real Man, I am All Man.

A Real Man would never say what I say. They only say what women want to hear so they get a good pat on the back from women for being a "good boy".

Apart from that, great points and observation.

In terms of the highlighted, you are on point. I should add that the typical fine girl that would say nothing is wrong with her stinking attitude would change it to a nice attitude if she ends up not married and her looks start fading. Then she would be complaining that I am a nice girl why don't guys want to marry me.

God forbid I marry a fine girl with bad personality. God forbid I marry a not-so-fine girl with great personality.

I would gladly bang the fine girl without personality and never put a ring on it. I would gladly bang the not-so-fine girl in times of poor form and never put a ring on it.

I aint compromising before marriage.

I thought i was the only one from that school of thought.

shine-eye:
I sincerely do not know where you got the notion that marriage makes men unhappy. I sincerely see you as one of those modern day promoters of ungodliness . How could you even suggest that! I have been married for over a decade and there is no greater bliss than my wife in my life. It is all so simple. If we are simple honest people who dont derive pleasure in deceiving people for our pleasure, we would enjoy this life. But we have become so devious and are reaping from are folly. Life is simple. Marriage is so simple. We have abandoned the sincerity of our fore fathers and complicated our lives. Rather than return to the better old way, some dark agents are busy propelling rotten doctrines of living happy lives by jumping from woman to woman.Also note that enemies of marriage are direct enemies of God. We need to change ourselves, not God or marriage. The unhappiness of today is a reflection of our waywardness. More waywardness can never be the solution!

God bless u sir!!!marriage is sooooooooooo beautiful though am not married yet! it is not the institution of marriage that has failed but its people that have failed in the institution. i agree, there are some 'poor' marriages but trust me, i've seen excellent marriages not withstanding their 'ups and downs'. I love God and His perfect idea of marriage. Evertthing He made is good including marriage. We are the ones that have abused it! the solution to are happy marriage is simply given in scripture..... "husbands LOVE[/b]your wives and wives [b]SUBMIT to ur husbands". shikena!!! Its as simple as this if only each party will just obey and do their part. i love marriage and will definitely get married and have a sweet home!!! one more thing, lets note that "the way we see a problem is the problem".See urself having a lovely marriage.... and so it will be as u the two parties work towards it. Look out for those that are scoring high in marriage and learn from the principles they are applying. Also check those who aint scoring well in marriage, know what they are doing wrong and stay clear of it. In all, marriage is one sweet variety God gave to man....... Love it, Rock it and Enjoy it. Note: make sure u marry the right person for u!!!( i guess I'll also put this mind!)And in case u did not marry the Right person.....hmmmmmm, ok, maybe u should start from being the right person and see if the other won't change. But in case ur own case is complex..... well,genuinely talk to the institutor of marriage about it for a start! God bless y'all

DailyNews: 99% of Nigerian married men I know are unhappy, while some are dead at a tender age. Honestly, the Nigerian ladies will never agree their fault & flaws that seems to be more rampant of recent- i.e. their recent quest for materialism & self-gratification instead of the usual search for true value. & what is the effect of this on Nigerian men? Men now do, indulge in all sorts of corrupt & evil things to please the Nigerian ladies, which often leads to their being unhappy in marriage (struggling too much to sustain a woman brings unhappiness). When u study the recent trend in marriage in Nigeria, it just seems marriage is no longer a vital union but a union intended to only please & satisfy women. a union where all Nigerian women tozzzle to get into just to offload their lifetime troubles on a man instead of sharing the burden with the man. What do most Nigerian ladies bring to the table of marriage? intimacy & maybe little performance of house chores, is that supposed to be so? even the high-income earners amongst the married ladies in Nigeria, hide their income from their hubby, some become unruly & disrespectful to their hubby just becos they earn an income. Haven't u guys observed that once a Nigerian lady or say ladies in general, becomes rich or too financially independent, she becomes unmarriageable (if single), she now sees all men coming her way as gold-diggers, as enemies, & ungovernable/unruly (if married), why? This alone should tell all humankind that God did not create woman to have so much financial freedom, which most ladies enjoy today, which is why marriages are no longer sacred & sweet as it used to be. women are supposed to derive their joy & happiness from the man. This is where I see American/European ways of life & culture destroying the world- over-empowering women financially & otherwise. This is where I commend the Arab world...Finally, if Nigerian marriages must become sweet & appealing as it used to be, Nigerian women must be stopped from becoming too financially independent becos over-empowering women destroys their humility & womanliness. If u doubt me, check through the rich single ladies u know & watch out how many that are married & those married, how many that are happily married.

permit me to politely disagree! The financial aspect is not the root problem i must say! I agree that some ladies that a financial independent could act unruly. But i think Character is the Key word. I have seen beautiful and boxed girls with refined character. I have also seen broke girls with bad character. What matters here is character, values, principles, personality, purpose etc. pls when a guy goes after some chick with no character.....pls don't come here and generalize it. Just as i won't come here and generalize that 'all guys are nothing to write home about' after making a wrong choice in a man! Life is all about choices. Whatever u choose, deal with the outcome! But pls my darling, there are still some 'take home to mama' chicks out there whether financially independent or not! Bless u!