Ways To Catch A Chicken - Food - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Food / Ways To Catch A Chicken (15146 Views)
I Made Fried Chicken For The First Time Today / A Chicken Egg With 2 Yolks / Ever Killed A Chicken B4 By Yourself? (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Ways To Catch A Chicken by Ishilove: 1:47pm On Jun 08, 2012 |
Sight target {preferably the pesky neighbourhood cock who goes around terrorising and raping the hens} and close in with a handful of maize in one hand and a big fat stick in the other. When you are close enough,toss the maize and call the target. The target rushes to you and pecks away happily at your feet,unaware that his end has come. Raise stick and smash! The target gives a mighty "KWAAAAAA!" and drops dead. Stuff carcass into a basket, fling the murder weapon into the forest and sneak back to your room, where a pot is already on the boil. Another method: Lure target to you with grains of maize. When it is eating its last meal at your feet,grab target by the throat with one hand,ball second hand into a fist, raise fist as high as you can and ... SMASH! PIPIAOW!! KPUGBUU!!! The target won't know what hit it. Stuff carcass into bag or basket and flee. CAVEAT-This method is messy. Victims might be decapitated. And another. . . Lure target to you in the afore mentioned manner. Swiftly grab target and strangle. Stuff corpse into bag and vamoose. **Author's note-ALL the methods described here have been tried and tested,with satisfactory results {don't ask me who}. HOWEVER,the success of each method is hinged on the total and complete absence of witnesses. Nota bene  11 Likes 4 Shares
|
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by thiscounts(m): 1:05pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
Funny u...but joke apart 'ti mo ba n wa adie nilee wa' I know whom to ask.lol 3 Likes |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Ishilove: 10:51pm On Jun 09, 2012 |
thiscounts: Funny u...but joke apart 'ti mo ba n wa adie nilee wa' I know whom to ask.lolLol. Mo ma deny e flat! No witnesses,remember? 2 Likes |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Nobody: 2:10pm On Jun 29, 2012 |
Nice one.  |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by LarrySun(m): 5:04pm On Jun 29, 2012 |
It isn't yuletide season, yet chickens are safeless in the clutches of their predators. 1 Like |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by apee1206: 9:49am On Jul 02, 2012 |
Mo ma deny e flat[img]http://www.dubaa.info/hardware.gif[/img] |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by naptu2: 7:46am On Jul 09, 2012 |
Beautiful! |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Ishilove: 8:11pm On Jul 09, 2012 |
naptu2: Beautiful!Thanx  |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Ishilove: 8:12pm On Jul 09, 2012 |
fluid26: Nice one.Thanx dear |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by koolkamzzy(m): 9:39am On Jul 13, 2012 |
Ishilove: Sight target{preferably the pesky neighbourhood cock who goes around terrorising and raping the hens}and close in with a handful of maize in one hand,and a big fat stick in the other. When you are close enough,toss the maize and call the target. The target rushes to you and pecks away happily at your feet,unaware that his end has come. Above reminds me of ma early days in the Polytechnic. Though I only participated in the chopping aspect  @ op I guess you grew in d village cos your above method depict that you are an expert in that aspect |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Ishilove: 11:07am On Jul 13, 2012 |
koolkamzzy:I don't know what you are talking about  |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by vb0mb(m): 5:10pm On Jul 14, 2012 |
For your infomation chicken now have0 their own sucide bombers. |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by FXKing2012(m): 11:41pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
Crazy funny! |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Ishilove: 12:01am On Jul 18, 2012 |
FXKing2012: Crazy funny!Thanx |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by FXKing2012(m): 7:40am On Jul 18, 2012 |
Ishilove: You're quite welcome. 1 Like |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Ezeufi: 12:04pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
Chicken are hard to catch because Chicken are suspicious by nature. Chicken don't trust nobody, chicken be eating chicken never relax. |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by PAGAN9JA(m): 12:04pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
its always adviced to catch a chicken before the eventual murder. |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by adonisyung(m): 12:05pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
FXKing2012:which one ƻ quite welcome again? |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by esere826: 12:06pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
@OP jeez what manner of chik is this how can u do this to one that shares the same pet name as your specie |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Ishilove: 12:13pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
esere826: @OP |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Ishilove: 12:14pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
PAGAN 9JA:Not in the cases I've seen. |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Ishilove: 12:15pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
Ezeufi: Chicken are hard to catch because Chicken are suspicious by nature. Chicken don't trust nobody, chicken be eating chicken never relax.Tried and tested, buhliiiiieve me! |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by GentleNaaz(m): 12:19pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
Tried, testd n trustd method How 2 catch d chicken 1. For 1 chickn, Drink 4 bottles of beer so dat u wl b high. Pursue d chicken non-stop until it gets tired n cant walk any more. Dn catch d chickn n head straight 2 d boiling water 2. For more dan 1 chickn, Mix igbo(gouf/indian hem/marijuana) wt maiza, call dm party n allow dm 2 feed until dy begn 2 hallucinate. Take as many as u cn n head straight as above . Wish u suces dear 1 Like |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Nobody: 12:22pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
Ways to catch a chicken. Send our football star! 2 Likes
|
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by GentleNaaz(m): 12:23pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
PAGAN 9JA:nawa o, chicken in serious trouble |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by GentleNaaz(m): 12:25pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
Vikin: Ways to catch a chicken.guy ds no b method at allll. Chicken don dy gt sense nowadays |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by AbdulAdam56(m): 12:33pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
Dis guy na real barawon kaza,hen tactics,naija i dey hail ooo |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Ishilove: 12:36pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
Abdul Adam56: Dis guy na real barawon kaza,hen tactics,naija i dey hail ooo .#Girls are not smiling#  |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by Super1759: 12:41pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
and the thread makes it to frontpage after 6months.. 1 Like |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by YOUNGKAHUNA: 12:49pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
Super1759: and the thread makes it to frontpage after 6months.. Its Yulitide Period Bruv |
| Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by papaejima1: 12:51pm On Dec 15, 2012 |
That must be the foolish Agric fowls you must be talking about @OP No self respecting village fowl and by that I mean the full blooded (not half-breed)NATIVE FOWL will ever allow itself to be lured by a few measly maize grains to eat at your feet. Whoa! I am a true village boy and am talking from experience too. However, we have an ingenious way of catching the most elusive of fowls sha... Chai, omo, man don remember village life!! Were we naughty or were we...? 2 Likes |
Recipe For Ofada Rice / Recipe: How To Prepare Nigerian Fish Roll / Gala Is Now N70
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 33 |