I have seen several men made concerted efforts to impress their women before they marry. But after the wedding, I have observed that most men reduce their efforts and commitment. Is it normal? What could be responsible?

Because expectations from the men are set too high.

odeexpress: I have seen several men made concerted efforts to impress their women before they marry. But after the wedding, I have observed that most men reduce their efforts and commitment. Is it normal? What could be responsible?

boredom....people crave for what they don't have....and
get bored of what they have acquired. eating the same brand
of bread everyday can be tedious.

Complacency and Law of diminishing returns are the two basic factors i think is responsible.

It's really not about boredom like someone put it. Rather it's like a trophy. This behaviour can be likened to a team that plays really had to win the world and after they've achieved that, you don't see them training everyday.

afam4eva: It's really not about boredom like someone put it. Rather it's like a trophy. This behaviour can be likened to a team that plays really had to win the world and after they've achieved that, you don't see them training everyday.

I love ur description. Maybe the training during the process of 'preparation for the tournament' was so tedious.

Because his eyes don c wetin e dey look for

they exert so much energy into dating and courtship,so when married it is mission accomplished.

coogar:

boredom....people crave for what they don't have....and
get bored of what they have acquired. eating the same brand
of bread everyday can be tedious.

Not normal but most women also reduce their efforts in impressing the mean after wedding. They start giving silly excuses why they cant cook, have sex, most of the time compared to the pre-wedding.

It happens to everything, the same goes for house, car , cloths and you could even turn your 50k shoe to slippers, something you cherish as Gold before buying it.

odeexpress: I have seen several men made concerted efforts to impress their women before they marry. But after the wedding, I have observed that most men reduce their efforts and commitment. Is it normal? What could be responsible?

Women enter into marriage with so much fantasies and men discover that they cannot live up to such fantasies all their life after marriage, so they adjust to a level that will make them have some personal gratification.

Because we didn't know any better of what we were getting ourselves into before marriage. After wedding and over time, we realize this institution(marriage) is inherently bias, provides a great deal of benefits for women at the expense of men. Besides, most men though they will never tell this, are unhappy in their marriages and feel they being held hostage against their will.

Situation varies, maybe the wife stop caring for herself and doing those warmhearted things she use to do b4 marriage thinking she is already "IN" so nothing to worry much about. This attitude certainly will put the man in a state of stagnancy when expectations diminishes.

2goodbobo: Complacency and Law of diminishing returns are the two basic factors i think is responsible.

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2goodbobo: Complacency and Law of diminishing returns are the two basic factors i think is responsible.

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2goodbobo: Complacency and Law of diminishing returns are the two basic factors i think is responsible.

2goodbobo: Complacency and Law of diminishing returns are the two basic factors i think is responsible.

Lmao @ law of diminishing returns. . . .as in you look at your wife and feel like you wasted your money marrying her ?

May be money is no more flowing in as it used to be and our woman too should not stop praying for their hubby

it works on both sides.

superior1: Because his eyes don c wetin e dey look for

Puss

Some Ladies demand soooooooooooooooo much from their man before marriage. I mean, they put them to crazy test and stretch their would-be man beyond the limits in the name of making sure he is right. By the time the man might have passed the test, he will be drained completely and he would want to rest from the strenuous test. That is why they reduce their commitment after marriage. Trust me, this is what happens.

@OP, it depends on what you mean by commitment. A man may use up his resources (love, money, emotions) to woo the wife to be. Once he is married to her, those resources need to be diverted to building a strong and as secure home as he can (especially if not a silver spoon man). He has to channel them to ensure that the family doesnt suffer in the long run. At least that's what is happening to me, and i made sure my wife understands that. Eg i reduced frequency of taking her out and buying new wares and gifts cause the money has to be channeled to new investments to secure our future and that of our kid(s) God willing. Many women dont understand this though and initially my wife didnt till i painted the picture for her. Women love pictures so if you paint it for her she wont say you reduced commitment.

odeexpress: I have seen several men made concerted efforts to impress their women before they marry. But after the wedding, I have observed that most men reduce their efforts and commitment. Is it normal? What could be responsible?

I think they simple reduced their commitment into bits dat should last 4 a life time...

It's always like dat b/cos most women feel that when they are married all the responsibilities now goes 2 d men..they start telling the man i need this and i need that without remembering that money is hard to get.so the man in question might want 2 reduce the way and often the wife talk abt this items & goodies by acting in a strange way and manner so that d wife wldn't b able to ask for the items n goodies n by so doing,there will b problems in the house n making it nt functioning as expected b4 marriage.2 make a marriage work 4 d better,the woman must learn to work and take care of so tins in the house not dat she wld jst base all her needs or family needs on her husband.she must be ready to assist the family when the need arises bt nt jst in terms of cuking,washing etc bt in term of serious issues dat need serious intervention.thanks.that's my point.i am max'diamond.

Marriage is like a seed planted by men but it takes d elfort of a woman to water it and make it grow,but most women are very careless about dis. All because they we take d man 4 granted dress any any,no more respect 4 d man and dey we shift all their love to d children.

well both spouse have a lifetime of experience to share together so there is no rush rush to impress...

Because most men sees their wives as intimacy gadget not as friends

Complacency and the law of diminishing return.

Hmmmmm I fink I agree with you here

Another angle can be likened to getting disappointed especially if you were the type that didn't see "your trophy" well enough before getting married to her.. seeing the "real deal" ends up causing disappointment and silent anger like you wasted all your time chasing a "physical shaft".

During courtship = she was always putting on "pretense" and armor

After marriage = You end up sad and angry after seeing the real deal without "pretense" and armor

D luv after marriage will only increase if dey r concious of themselves, xpecially d woman. If she take care of herself very well n give d man wat he needs @ home, they will be no need for him to luk outside.