Nairaland Forum

every marriage is a contract. Its the terms that differ.

slimyem: no,its not a bad idea...except that i do not know the op nor do i intend to.
Besides,he might no even meet my criteria..so,thanks!
Btw,stop taking this personal.
Its not your life...is it?

Taking what personal? lol girlie you on a long thing, i was only responding to your comment just like every other person, did my comment come to you so hard? anyways you can do as you wrote, just joking but try going through the disadvantages before going ahead in the real sense.

Ileke-IdI:
Some women will find it hard to part from their babies.

After 9 months of emotional connection, partng might be out of option.

I'm thinking about contract marriage too (which does not involve me parting with my baby ofcourse) , nothing too bad about it.

you speak like a mother.
thank u.

All these enjoyment without responsibility, contract without commitment, I wonder what legacy you want to leave for your offspring.

Spirit of Okija: So many children in here...

Some of you are not even up to proper fhucking age..

Contract marriage ko... You couldnt even explain your point well.. A marriage is a union between two parties.. What you want is a baby mama..

Anyways, its doable at a price or even for free (in some villages)..

But just so you know, marriage is not just for your youth, but also for old age when you are weak and need a companion. Raising a child requires both parents for proper balance..

Have you heard that a female childs first love is her father and every man grows up to marry his own mother.. Who would be the role model to your kids?! If you are a man, who will teach you female child to be a lady?! Talk to her about the female menstrual cycle?! talk her through her development into puberty?! teach her to cook, tend a home?! all the things a girl child needs?!

I laugh at the ignorance of many kids on Nairaland.. My only solace is that you all are kids and your thoughts are permitted to run wild and riot.. Many of you would grow up and out of this foolishness.. For those of you who dont, may God have mercy on your souls..

May God bless you. Honestly, i dont think many of them are children anymore. Their problem is fractured knowledge and desperation to protect their ignorance. Can u imagine, they'v 4gotn that oldage is anoda story entirely. Many of them wil probably soffocate from loneliness when their children eventualy leave them. By then, it wud av bn 2 late 2 apreciate d value of companionshp. Sometimes I wonder if these people ever c beyond their noses on any issue atal. Even their parents tink alike. Awon olodo oshi.

@poster: why not let me sign such contract with your sister then we go from there?

I've bin tinkin abt dis 4 som tym nw. wz discussin abt it wit a fwnd ysttaday n he said he wntd 2 do d same. Last yr met a girl who agreed 2 ve a baby 4 me bt dat ll b wen she is thru wit her studies.

prince_onx: @poster: why not let me sign such contract with your sister then we go from there?

Yes o. @OP, Av a taste of ur own poison. Just imagine ur sister yanshn and bastardn everywhere. Am sure ur village wil giv u a chieftancy titl 4 influencin her achievments.

blackbalang: I thought of this: more like "get me pregnant and then f" off" but my mum said the day I try it........ Is the day I'll know I came out of her

looking 4 the girl of your type. I am from mbelt of 9ja. I believe you can pound food very well for me, take care of me so that i will as well take good care of you. Go through my profile and Contact me please. I will only entertain your Nairaland name & registered email. Thanks

Guys, this topic is very important indeed. I Think you guys need to examine why actually people need such arrangements. Take note that these days Nigerians are scattered all over the world living their lives under terms and conditioned they either anticipated or never anticipated. Our culture and norms should not overlook the realities of today's world and the need for pragmatic approach to today's situations.
There are different categories of Nigerians living overseas in need of such "contract marriages" e.g.
1. Those with phobia for love or marriage
2. Those in a one way marriage (trap) with an oyibo and divorce seems a wrong option.
3. Those who wanna have kids that will actually live in naija with them along the line
4. Those that wanna prepare for soft landing, in-case of anything ( instead of spending their old age alone)
5. Feel free to add new categories........................
whether you like it or not, "contract marriages" are here to stay . I am not in need of it but there are surely many in need of such arrangements .

Ficco:

Why do you people like to change the perfect will of God for mankind. In issues like dis,forget abt civilization and try and find what de will of God is concerning marriage. God institutd marriage in the first place. Try and correct your mindframe,you can actually live with a woman and be happy. Two heads are better than one.

Which time God talk am? Mu.mu. U no no say na man write bible? Oh, c fo.ol o, he's about 2 say inspiratn 4rm God. Ode. Look, yes God exists, but religion is man's way of keepn oda men under control and d bible is d manipulativ book dat serves dat purpose.

fubbyy:

1st of all, am not a gay

About a woman being a companionship you talked about, to me its not true, I musn't live with a woman in my house as a wife b4 I get companionship, I have loads of women around me but I just don't wanna live with any in my house as a wife, am not against people getting married but to me I don't just fancy it, I have cohabitant with a girl for 4 months during my school days and I know how it was , so I came with a conclusion that living with a woman as a wife for the rest of my life is not the best for moi

somtin is definitely wrong somewhere

Leefem: If u feel marriage is not right 4 u then don't do it, i'm sure there are many girls who will be willing 2 have a child at d same time being unattached, i know many Nigerians will want 2 shoot down the idea but it is what it is not every1 is meant 2 get married.

No. D OP's is sugestn buyin d child & doin away wit d mom 4 good. Would u like 2 b d woman in dis case?

Malubi: looking 4 the girl of your type. I am from mbelt of 9ja. I believe you can pound food very well for me, take care of me so that i will as well take good care of you. Go through my profile and Contact me please. I will only entertain your Nairaland name & registered email. Thanks

I know there is a disadvantage Concerning this issue being discussed but come to think it. This issue is also sth on my mind but iVe come to conclusion that the Child wil suffer for it. So the best bet is to edit the marriage vows to make both partie be free. The word free is needed by all and commitment has just losed its Value owing to the insufficient want of Human. So i wil say this, if you cant be committed in marriage let ur spouse know the basis of the martrimony. Personaly God was'nt silly when he created woman for a man. Op when you have become of age & you have met a real woman that wil complete you,then you wil understand y your opinion at this time isnt the best. I know i also think like u atimes but reality is meeting that woman of ur desire is out there but wil you know when you have found her?. You can only know this when u ve discovered what you truly need in life.

Am also nt a fan of marriage, i must confess. Especialy wit women's pretence issues as they show d rude animal in them after marriage (women's atitude cn b realy irritatin sometyms u know). Anyway sha, there r wayz arnd dis. Instead of buyn d child and 4getn d mom outrite; if u realy want dat privacy, y dont u get an apartment 4 her elsewhere in d city then check on her as often as u wish plus u stil live alone and continue flingn anyhow u wish. Sebi al u want is 4 no wife 2 live wit u. Rite? Eventualy, u mite grow fond of each oda as u age and when old age arives, atleast u'l av sm1 there by ur side. Best of luck.

I am not that freak abt marriage myself.I had thought about this before and i realized it best if you rily want to be free of any commitment but believe, the child will really suffer. In most cases, this desire is borne out of selfish lifestyle n one's personality. you either end up being completely irresponsible as a man, flirting around and the rest of what life has for a single man with money.
secondly, if you found yourself as a single parent( either as a man or woman) cos of circumstances, the feeling is different;you will be more focus and determine than finding yourself in this position becos you chose to. It is actually complicated with the rate of unhappiness experienced in marriages these days. but most importantly, marry someone that shares your dreams, desire, ideals in life and tell each other your fears.That will solve the boredom in marriage.

blackbalang:
Lol...... My case is a sensitive one

Oh..ok,a lez i suppose.I understand.

JANK23H:
Oh..ok,a lez i suppose.I understand.

not in this life or in the next

drake99:

Its not really a bad idea, sometimes it also sometimes come across my mind but I know there must be some disadvantages later which I don't really know for now

yea, for starters...what do u tell that child about the mum? That she was a stranger paid to birth him for u?

ayando: I am not that freak abt marriage myself.I had thought about this before and i realized it best if you rily want to be free of any commitment but believe, the child will really suffer. In most cases, this desire is borne out of selfish lifestyle n one's personality. you either end up being completely irresponsible as a man, flirting around and the rest of what life has for a single man with money.
secondly, if you found yourself as a single parent( either as a man or woman) cos of circumstances, the feeling is different;you will be more focus and determine than finding yourself in this position becos you chose to. It is actually complicated with the rate of unhappiness experienced in marriages these days. but most importantly, marry someone that shares your dreams, desire, ideals in life and tell each other your fears.That will solve the boredom in marriage.

Men, i hate it when people give stup.id generalizations like dis: "In most cases, this desire is borne out of selfish lifestyle n one's personality. you either end up being completely irresponsible as a man, flirting around and the rest of what life has for a single man with money." I actualy know of a man who is livin alone and doing very fine. He's infact very religious and his wives only visit him 4rm tym 2 tym. He's very responsible aswell. Guy, yes u made sense in d later part of ur post, please stop runin ur mouth anyhow again (am tryn realy hard 2 b polite).

fubbyy: Nice replies, am very happy because what I expected from people here is not what I'm seeing, am surprise some people thinks like me and am very happy for that

I used to see some people's wishes as a crap till I grew to understand that every man has a fantasy, I've been dreaming this for years and my prayer is for the accomplishment

Some talked about the financial aspect which is not my problem,I know I can afford it, my only problem is how I go about this and who will agree to this

are u looking for the person here?

MRbrownJAY: bro, there is nothing wrong about how you feel, so long as you know the consequences of what you are saying.

here are a few question for you to dwell on:
- do you base your whole marriage stand on that ONE time you lived with someone(for 4months only)?
- who will care for your child daily?
- do you have ANY idea what it takes to care for a child daily?
- when will you get the time to do "other" stuff?
- why exactly do you want to have a child?
- do you actually believe that living with a child is that much different than living with a woman?


if you think that living with a child (as a single parent) will be easier, then you better wake up fast, as it probably
be WORSE!!!!!

how come u always have good answers? OP ABEG follow dis yarn here, true talk dis guy speaks!

Leefem: If u feel marriage is not right 4 u then don't do it, i'm sure there are many girls who will be willing 2 have a child at d same time being unattached, i know many Nigerians will want 2 shoot down the idea but it is what it is not every1 is meant 2 get married.

ok , thats for 2 adults to decide, but what abt the kids? what abt their choices? Do u honestly believe kids will like this kind of situation? I dont think many would. And its really not fair to them, and at the end of the day they are what matters most, we should be thinking what is best for them , not for ourselves, dats what being a parent is all about

sashaa:
yea, for starters...what do u tell that child about the mum? That she was a stranger paid to birth him for u?

\\

GBAM!!

i'm strong believer in "to each his own", but this is one decision i am certain you will regret. it may seem like a great idea to have the child now n do away with the mother, but have you thought of how the child will grow, and what he'll become as an adult? infact, leave d child first, and let's face u, the parent. u are probably in ur prime now, and have lots of women around you, so u can't foresee the future in this path u hav decided to take. if u live outside the country, take a visit to any nursing home, n make the effort to talk to any of their sane residents, they will tell u to find someone u can grow old with. Think about it, how did u treat ur own grandparents? U went out for drinks n then hit the clubs? No, u probably visited them out of a sense of duty, not because u WANTED to. My point, is that nothing can ever take the place of another human being, one u care about, respect, n can talk to (all that falling in love crap is overrated, btw). There's ds pic I once saw on bbm, about true love being grandma n grandpa who grew old together, not Romeo/Juliet who died together. Sex drive fades (look at Hugh Hefner, for instance, all sorts of girls come thru the mansion, but whom does he go to? His secretary, who's only a few yrs younger), a career will go away no matter how long u try to hold onto it, money may stay, but there r ppl u buy, n those that truly care. Evn Tuface is marrying his girl that I thot ws jonzing before. Think harder o oga.

blackbalang: I thought of this: more like "get me pregnant and then f" off" but my mum said the day I try it........ Is the day I'll know I came out of her

​L̳̿Ö̤̣̇☺ː̗̀(=)))ː̖́☺Ö̤̣̇L̳̿. That's like my mum.

Nice replies, I really appreciate them all but I've already made up my mind on this.

Thanks

prince_onx: @poster: why not let me sign such contract with your sister then we go from there?

That's if the sis wants the same. Maybe you can exchange sisters.

prince_onx: @poster: why not let me sign such contract with your sister then we go from there?

That's if the sis wants the same. Maybe you can exchange sisters.

Michky: Yes o. @OP, Av a taste of ur own poison. Just imagine ur sister yanshn and bastardn everywhere. Am sure ur village wil giv u a chieftancy titl 4 influencin her achievments.

Guy that's was too harsh, must you talk dirty because you want to be noticed ? Na wa for una oo. Anyway he has mentioned your type in his post.

Michky: Yes o. @OP, Av a taste of ur own poison. Just imagine ur sister yanshn and bastardn everywhere. Am sure ur village wil giv u a chieftancy titl 4 influencin her achievments.

Guy that's was too harsh, must you talk dirty because you want to be noticed ? Na wa for una oo. Anyway he has mentioned your type in his post.

Michky: Am also nt a fan of marriage, i must confess. Especialy wit women's pretence issues as they show d rude animal in them after marriage (women's atitude cn b realy irritatin sometyms u know). Anyway sha, there r wayz arnd dis. Instead of buyn d child and 4getn d mom outrite; if u realy want dat privacy, y dont u get an apartment 4 her elsewhere in d city then check on her as often as u wish plus u stil live alone and continue flingn anyhow u wish. Sebi al u want is 4 no wife 2 live wit u. Rite? Eventualy, u mite grow fond of each oda as u age and when old age arives, atleast u'l av sm1 there by ur side. Best of luck.

So you can say this now, before the yeye talk wey u post before. Mtshweeee!

fubbyy: Nice replies, I really appreciate them all but I've already made up my mind on this.

Thanks

Good luck o jare. You may as well let us know the outcome.