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Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by deebrain(m): 3:41pm On Aug 23, 2012
Kobojunkie:

hm . . . I fail to see how that constitutes an excuse . . .

and yr point to the orginal topic is....?
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Kobojunkie: 3:43pm On Aug 23, 2012
Here. . .
deebrain: With all the work around and all the money to be made and all the dreams to be met, is there still time for a guy to be dragging with a lady playing "hard to get"? Im friendly with ladies naturally and ladies are good friends-really dependable. But if a lady i meet for the first time, shows that unfriendly thing in the name of "hard to get", i simply smile and walk away. Simply put-forget her....

Yet many in this generation are no richer, nor more hardworking than the last generation. Ogbeni, try come up with a better excuse next time.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by deebrain(m): 3:53pm On Aug 23, 2012
Kobojunkie: Here. . .


Yet many in this generation are no richer, nor more hardworking than the last generation. Ogbeni, try come up with a better excuse next time.

Lol...(winks)
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by NobleAngell(f): 3:55pm On Aug 23, 2012
Well, playin hard 2 get works 4 me anyday...anytym...anywer. Hehehe!
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Nobody: 8:12pm On Aug 23, 2012
Kobojunkie: Here. . .


Yet many in this generation are no richer, nor more hardworking than the last generation. Ogbeni, try come up with a better excuse next time.
Of course, the statistics can't be that apparent.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Nobody: 8:12pm On Aug 23, 2012
NobleAngell: Well, playin hard 2 get works 4 me anyday...anytym...anywer. Hehehe!
Oh really?
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Kobojunkie: 8:38pm On Aug 23, 2012
sauer:
Of course, the statistics can't be that apparent.


Given the fact that majority of those in this generation are unemployed/under-employed(Nigeria's official unemployment rate is at 23% but the real unofficial number is assumed to be above 50%), I don't think it takes a genius really to figure out that it is worse now than when their fathers were young.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by myike23: 9:10pm On Aug 23, 2012
@OP, thats a very dumb question. I advice u to keep playing hard to get, while ur mates are busy getting married every saturday!
I even wonder how this useless topic made it to the front page in the 1st place.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Nobody: 9:20pm On Aug 23, 2012
Kobojunkie:


Given the fact that majority of those in this generation are unemployed/under-employed(Nigeria's official unemployment rate is at 23% but the real unofficial number is assumed to be above 50%), I don't think it takes a genius really to figure out that it is worse now than when their fathers were young.
If you watched, his statement wasn't much about employment than about money-making. If more money is being made today than in generatIons past, then his argument is valid. And from all indications, more money is being made these days, if only by a few powerful individuals.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Kobojunkie: 9:21pm On Aug 23, 2012
myike23: @OP, thats a very dumb question. I advice u to keep playing hard to get, while ur mates are busy getting married every saturday!
I even wonder how this useless topic made it to the front page in the 1st place.

Why is it all simply about getting married? Why is that the ULTIMATE GOAL? Why is not one also saying that the divorce rate in Nigeria, and among Nigerians is also on the rise? What about making sure you ONLY get married when you find the right person?
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Kobojunkie: 9:24pm On Aug 23, 2012
sauer:
If you watched, his statement wasn't much about employment than about money-making. If more money is being made today than in generatIons past, then his argument is valid. And from all indications, more money is being made these days, if only by a few powerful individuals.

Um. . . his statement was around people making more money today. The people(this generation would include those who are employed, self-employed and unemployed). Now, if you sum up what the whole group makes, divide it by the group total, and then minus inflation, you end up with a number, per head,that is less than what their fathers made. That is how it is calculated, and another hint is the fact that the poverty rate in Nigeria shot up to above 75% worse than when their fathers were young.
That is why it is not the case that this current stock of males make more than their fathers did.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Nobody: 10:07pm On Aug 23, 2012
Kobojunkie:

Um. . . his statement was around people making more money today. The people(this generation would include those who are employed, self-employed and unemployed). Now, if you sum up what the whole group makes, divide it by the group total, and then minus inflation, you end up with a number, per head,that is less than what their fathers made. That is how it is calculated, and another hint is the fact that the poverty rate in Nigeria shot up to above 75% worse than when their fathers were young.
That is why it is not the case that this current stock of males make more than their fathers did.
This could be why you may be right grin. Into finance and business analysis?

Kobojunkie:

Why is it all simply about getting married? Why is that the ULTIMATE GOAL? Why is not one also saying that the divorce rate in Nigeria, and among Nigerians is also on the rise? What about making sure you ONLY get married when you find the right person?
good point. Some people prefer to argue vehemently in only one direction. But do you actually believe one should ONLY get married when one finds the right person? hmm. . . .
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by sashaa(f): 10:07pm On Aug 23, 2012
myike23: @OP, thats a very dumb question. I advice u to keep playing hard to get, while ur mates are busy getting married every saturday!
I even wonder how this useless topic made it to the front page in the 1st place.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by sashaa(f): 10:08pm On Aug 23, 2012
myike23: @OP, thats a very dumb question. I advice u to keep playing hard to get, while ur mates are busy getting married every saturday!
I even wonder how this useless topic made it to the front page in the 1st place.
Did u even read the post? Or u just clicked on a useless topic and decided to comment. Smh
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Bobajo(m): 10:05am On Aug 24, 2012
E be like say you follow them chop oil subsidy money? EFCC dey eye you o grin

Yomieluv: Ok lets hook up,wanna take u on a shopping spree,all expense paid..fix any date.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Kobojunkie: 11:09am On Aug 24, 2012
sauer:
This could be why you may be right grin. Into finance and business analysis?
Nope, I hate doing anything finances. But I am into critically analyzing information presented me to arrive at the best logical conclusions I can. grin
sauer:
good point. Some people prefer to argue vehemently in only one direction. But do you actually believe one should ONLY get married when one finds the right person? hmm. . . .
I believe so, and I don't believe in fairy tales either. I believe marrying the right person will not only benefit you as an individual, but your partner, your children, and society as a whole.

I like to look at the big picture. A good marriage(which only happens if you marry the right person) is less likely to lead to divorce or abandonment, and children produced in such marriages grow up to be more rounded, better individuals for society and happier. Children born into bad marriages, suffer more from psychological, and social ailments that not only affect them but affect the society as a whole. So for society to continue in a healthy state, it is good for individuals to carefully make wise decisions even when it has to do with picking who to have children with, if at all. grin grin

1 Like

Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Nobody: 10:32pm On Aug 24, 2012
Kobojunkie: Nope, I hate doing anything finances. But I am into critically analyzing information presented me to arrive at the best logical conclusions I can. grin
Well, if you hate finances indeed then, there is someone here willing to help you manage your money wink. Just fax it asap!

Kobojunkie:
I believe so, and I don't believe in fairy tales either. I believe marrying the right person will not only benefit you as an individual, but your partner, your children, and society as a whole.

I like to look at the big picture. A good marriage(which only happens if you marry the right person) is less likely to lead to divorce or abandonment, and children produced in such marriages grow up to be more rounded, better individuals for society and happier. Children born into bad marriages, suffer more from psychological, and social ailments that not only affect them but affect the society as a whole. So for society to continue in a healthy state, it is good for individuals to carefully make wise decisions even when it has to do with picking who to have children with, if at all. grin grin
Since when did people start caring so much about the society that they let it affect their personal lives? The society is such a big pond of people, buildings and cars that you are just a lonely, statistically insignificant fish in it. Though yours is no bad reasoning, it's very easy to counter your points with reasonable arguments, only it may be difficult against an obstinate opponent as you. What matters to "these children" isn't as much the marriage into which they are born as it is about how at least one individual (in that marriage) intends to affect their lives. The partner convinced of his/her positive ideals and who sets about imparting this on the children most often usually succeeds. Just look at Katie Holmes's forceful actions.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Nobody: 1:34am On Aug 25, 2012
Continue to PLAY HARD TO GET; afterall, it is said that in the end, A MAN with a BLUNT CUTLASS will understand.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Princek12(m): 10:40am On Aug 25, 2012
NobleAngell: Well, playin hard 2 get works 4 me anyday...anytym...anywer. Hehehe!

It works for you by making sure you end up dating desperados and dudes who are not worth a darn thing. I bet you it won't you work for you in that you won't bag a quality dude. Not in this day and age.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Kobojunkie: 1:32pm On Aug 25, 2012
sauer: Since when did people start caring so much about the society that they let it affect their personal lives? The society is such a big pond of people, buildings and cars that you are just a lonely, statistically insignificant fish in it. Though yours is no bad reasoning, it's very easy to counter your points with reasonable arguments, only it may be difficult against an obstinate opponent as you. What matters to "these children" isn't as much the marriage into which they are born as it is about how at least one individual (in that marriage) intends to affect their lives. The partner convinced of his/her positive ideals and who sets about imparting this on the children most often usually succeeds. Just look at Katie Holmes's forceful actions.

I don't think you read that right. Also, telling me my reasoning is bad does not make it so. You have to show it so . . by clearly arguing your side of this. Don't use ridiculous excuse like I am obstinate and all that bunkum.

I said the personal decisions people make AFFECT Society. Now, we all know that Nigerians care so much about what society says of them, on the other hand they do not understand that the fabric of society depends to the great deal on their personal decisions. That is the way it is with every society out there. Society as you clearly noted there depends on the people contained. When these people make bad choices in their personal lives, the society is affected by the outcomes of those unions, and this is clear in many cases around the world today, including Nigeria.

Now when it comes to the expectations of the Children, I don't agree with you. Some years ago, some people tried to argue that Children from broken homes are rarely affected. We all know that was balderdash. Children mostly go to repeat the actions and mistakes of their parents. They do not just copy the actions of only the one that you consider to have the positive ideals. I mean if you at least compared what you have there to the plight of children, say in African american families where in many cases, no matter how good the mothers/fathers are,many of the children end up in jail like their fathers/mothers, that should help you wrap your mind around reality a bit more than what you have going there. In Nigeria for instance, many who are raised in broken homes go on to marry and eventually abandon their own spouses . . repeating the action of the one who they despised in childhood. So, I don't think your statement on children there is grounded in reality at all.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by tpia5: 5:47pm On Aug 25, 2012
repeating the action of the one who they despised in childhood.

despised is rather an assumption, based on the circumstances.

a child who cant understand something, doesnt necessarily despise a state of affairs.

they might just accept it as the status quo.

but i digress.

it depends on your grasp and/or perception of the situation.

hence, you may not necessarily know what the child's feelings were, and might project what you think they are.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Kobojunkie: 5:57pm On Aug 25, 2012
tpia@:


despised is rather an assumption, based on the circumstances.

a child who cant understand something, doesnt necessarily despise a state of affairs.

they might just accept it as the status quo.

but i digress.

it depends on your grasp and/or perception of the situation.

hence, you may not necessarily know what the child's feelings were, and might project what you think they are.

Are you alright at all? A Child of say 3 -17 does not understand anything? Cannot despise a state of affairs? WHAT? So you are telling me that when you were a child, you were essentially a bubble-headed individual(probably not an individual since individuals have a mind of their own) who had no OPINIONS on what was happening around you? undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided


Have you ever tried to ask a child their feelings?? That is an honest question because Children do have mouths, feelings and opinions on what is going on around them. Even from a very young age. Heck, I still remember what happened to be at age 4, and how I felt back . shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Johndoe100(m): 6:21pm On Aug 25, 2012
NobleAngell: Well, playin hard 2 get works 4 me anyday...anytym...anywer. Hehehe!

I have always been fascinated by females who make such assertions. What does it do for you? I have a cousin who made the same statement to me (years ago) and I had to educate her. If I meet a girl or woman and I just want to use her, there is NOTHING she can do that will change my intentions. If she is lucky and along the line I don't find her too boring or dense, I may make the eventual separation a friendly one.

I asked my cousin if she thinks I will appreciate a bottle of coke more because I had to dance, sing and run errands before I drank it? At the end of the day it is just a bottle of coke or a kunt as the case may be. I don't know maybe the young men of today are made of softer stuff, but me and the guys, so long as you agree last na we win, and if you waste too much time wetin your eye go see.....
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Nobody: 11:03pm On Aug 25, 2012
Kobojunkie:

Are you alright at all? A Child of say 3 -17 does not understand anything? Cannot despise a state of affairs? WHAT? So you are telling me that when you were a child, you were essentially a bubble-headed individual(probably not an individual since individuals have a mind of their own) who had no OPINIONS on what was happening around you? undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided


Have you ever tried to ask a child their feelings?? That is an honest question because Children do have mouths, feelings and opinions on what is going on around them. Even from a very young age. Heck, I still remember what happened to be at age 4, and how I felt back . shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked shocked
I'd agree more with tpia. Even though children might very well understand what's going on around them, these things dont become so indelible that they are unable to erase them. Else, we should have children who become exactly what their parents were. Of course that cant be. That little individualness will always differentiate them from their parents. We should easily find children who become excellent parents for the simple reason that their fathers/mothers were bad ones. What anyone turns out to be is without doubt a combination of societal, genetic and other environmental or biological factors.
Now, you went too far in extending your arguments to African American families. While I agree with you that most AA homes are not exactly enchanting, the reasons are less familial than they are financial. In addition, most AA parents are insufficiently educated to feed their children with the confidence, determination or drive they require to suceed in an ever-challenging American society. I believe recent researches tried to match a family's financial situation with the successes of the children. What came out as definite conclusions showed that children from poorer homes fared worse in the long run compared with their counterparts from richer homes, and this had very little to do with the schools they attended or of what colour they were. Irrespective of how brilliant you may be at your job as an analyst, you apparently bungled this one.

In my opinion, whether a child is raised by a single (or double) parent has only very little effect on what the child becomes eventually. It may, but only very little. More significant is the level of education of that single parent, and of course the size of his/her pocket. Und das ist alles!
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Kobojunkie: 11:21pm On Aug 25, 2012
sauer:
I'd agree more with tpia. Even though children might very well understand what's going on around them, these things dont become so indelible that they are unable to erase them. Else, we should have children who become exactly what their parents were. Of course that cant be. That little individualness will always differentiate them from their parents. We should easily find children who become excellent parents for the simple reason that their fathers/mothers were bad ones. What anyone turns out to be is without doubt a combination of societal, genetic and other environmental or biological factors.
Now, you went too far in extending your arguments to African American families. While I agree with you that most AA homes are not exactly enchanting, the reasons are less familial than they are financial. In addition, most AA parents are insufficiently educated to feed their children with the confidence, determination or drive they require to suceed in an ever-challenging American society. I believe recent researches tried to match a family's financial situation with the successes of the children. What came out as definite conclusions showed that children from poorer homes fared worse in the long run compared with their counterparts from richer homes, and this had very little to do with the schools they attended or of what colour they were. Irrespective of how brilliant you may be at your job as an analyst, you apparently bungled this one.

In my opinion, whether a child is raised by a single (or double) parent has only very little effect on what the child becomes eventually. It may, but only very little. More significant is the level of education of that single parent, and of course the size of his/her pocket. Und das ist alles!

Now I am 100% sure you are just arguing for argument sake. There are 1000's of reports, researches that show that Children are sponges that soak up everything emotionally and you come back with the above? Anyways, I think I have made myself clear already. Goodluck!
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Nobody: 11:39pm On Aug 25, 2012
Kobojunkie:

Now I am 100% sure you are just arguing for argument sake. There are 1000's of reports, researches that show that Children are sponges that soak up everything emotionally and you come back with the above? Anyways, I think I have made myself clear already. Goodluck!
See me, see wahala Such a generalization! I can imagine you are obsessed with thinking about everything from that emotional perspective. I was once a child and never soaked up everything emotionally.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by tpia5: 11:57pm On Aug 25, 2012
@kobojunkie


my emphasis was on the child accepting certain situations as the status quo, as opposed to your belief the child despises certain behaviours that he himself exhibits later.


my point being you do not know for sure that the child "despises" such attributes- rather what you can know is you, or the adult/s in the child's life despise some behaviours/things and expect the child to do the same.

The child (adolescent is a different matter) does not necessarily grow up to mirror, reflect or agree with the positivity or negativity of the "values" of the dominant party in his or her life.

in short,sometimes a case by case basis should be considered.

not saying i dont see what you mean, but its not all black and white all the time.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by tpia5: 11:58pm On Aug 25, 2012
i am done oh.

no back and forth from me here abeg.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Nobody: 6:13am On Aug 26, 2012
sanb: you are silly for this rubbish you have just vomitted from your mouth

I think hes just been real with you...
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Nobody: 4:08pm On Aug 26, 2012
and you think that is okay ehh
2buff:

I think hes just been real with you...
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Nobody: 11:06pm On Aug 26, 2012
sanb: and you think that is okay ehh

Not at all. He was just saying what some boys do...
I don't believe he said HE did that.
Re: Is Playing Hard To Get Good Or Bad? by Sagamite(m): 8:57pm On Sep 07, 2012
If she is playing hard to get then she aint gonna get.

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