I recently got married to this lady, she works in construction company while I worked in Govt. Ministry. I have seen my wife's pay slip, she earns slightly higher than I, but she believes that I'm earning higher than her,and she respects me as well as my job for that. I'm thinking of opening up to her and to let her know my true salary, should she find out in the future and treat me as a lier, but at the same time, I'm afraid that I might loose the respect she has for me as the head of the family.

My dear broda, please swallow ur pride and drop ur ego, let her know asap, if she truly loves u, she will appreciate u d more, my wife's pay was higher dan mine and knew abt it, but now my pay is almost x3 her pay and she is stil aware. If u love ur wife and urself, pls open up now to avoid overrating. My 2 cents. Peace.

There is noting bad in it. Remember what is
yours is hers now and for you two to work
as a team, you must be open with her

Firstly, u should have known ur wife by now. Is she the type that will change her attitude towards u or will she start disrespecting u once she finds out the truth?

Secondly, do u have any hope of getting a better job any time soon?

Thirdly n finally, how much do u love ur wife?

If u answer these questions honestly & truthfully to urself, then, I think u'll know what next to do.
Good luck!

Dude, relax and worry not! D main tin here is... u have a JOB. My main concern would be if u were jobless and u lied about having a job,den dat might be a little tricky.She is your wife,talk to her, explain your concerns and reasons for withholding such info.If minor issues are allowed to dominate, d big stuff will go unnoticed.Deal wiv it now! Don't wait any longer! D guilt will only eat deeper! B brave! Good luck....

y nt say something likd this, honey i just realise u dnt no how much i earn. Dis is my actual salary. Dnt make a big deal out of it.

Bros, if she is nor pressuring you to know how much you earn and you are not giving her a false impression of earning alot, DON'T TRY IT

You go fear thread now.

At times i wonder why some people get married. It's not by force to get married. But if you must, then you have to live by the code. Your wife is a part of you now, so why should you be hiding anything from her. if you can't trust her then divorce her and get married to someone you can trust. Chikena.

Its good you open up to her, as they rightly said. Dont hide the truth because one Day it would surely come out. So come out Straight, life is just a journey. who knows how much you would be earning tomorrow.

manosteel: I recently got married to this lady, she works in construction company while I worked in Govt. Ministry. I have seen my wife's pay slip, she earns slightly higher than I, but she believes that I'm earning higher than her,and she respects me as well as my job for that. I'm thinking of opening up to her and to let her know my true salary, should she find out in the future and treat me as a lier, but at the same time, I'm afraid that I might loose the respect she has for me as the head of the family.

Why would she call you a liar? Did you lie to her about your salary before now?
Lol @ "sligthly higher" Are you sure it is 'slightly higher' or 'sooo much higher'?

Ok, seriously this shouldnt be an issue if your marriage is based on true love and understanding.

open upto her,this will be the litmus test for your marriage,its from here you will know if she married you because of your pay cheque or she truly loves u.

hmmm are you talking about your pay slip or your total take home from all sources as a Naija govt worker? Showing your wife your payslip would definitely allow you to keep the others to yourself...

There is nothing bad in showing her ur slip..... Though im nt married yet, bt my wife to be knows ao much im collectn, we even put heads togeda on how to spend it.

Errr...er.....er, it depends on the kind of woman she is. If she can handle and make use of the information to the benefit of the family, then go ahead and tell her.

If you know she can't then don't tell her. You are the one that knows and married her.

I suggest you tell her,you should have from the beginning.

Its better to avoid unnecessary headache.

Are you lying to her?

Hmm,leme ask u dis, is she d type dat take advntge of tins?,if yes dont.

Only a fool will do that!

Just tell her it's ok to take care of her..fakot!

Why talk when she didnt ask you ?

It is not compulsory to tell your wife how much you earn provided you are fulfilling your manly duties in the house.

Idowuogbo: Dude, relax and worry not! D main tin here is... u have a JOB. My main concern would be if u were jobless and u lied about having a job,den dat might be a little tricky.She is your wife,talk to her, explain your concerns and reasons for withholding such info.If minor issues are allowed to dominate, d big stuff will go unnoticed.Deal wiv it now! Don't wait any longer! D guilt will only eat deeper! B brave! Good luck....

badosky in ha gd element..i second u..gd advice.lol.

in a marriage the wife should inform her husband of her pay package likewise the husband.

The reson for this is not love or ego or lies e.t.c

it is done simply to enable the couple PLAN THEIR FINANCIAL LIVES together which would concern them, their kids, their families, their investments e.t.c

that is the #1 advantage for doing this

the seemingly numerous disadvantages only come into play IF YOU HAVE MARRIED A BAD CHARACTERED LADY as your wife

good luck

afam4eva: You go fear thread now.

At times i wonder why some people get married. It's not by force to get married. But if you must, then you have to live by the code. Your wife is a part of you now, so why should you be hiding anything from her. if you can't trust her then divorce her and get married to someone you can trust.

Well said! this is why I am always laughing at Nigerians and their so called "marraiges". I have never in my life seen or met a group of people that have bastardized the institution like Nigerians have. There is no genuine love, no trust, no respect, and no fidelity in most Nigerian marraiges.

@Post

You obviously don't trust your wife so why on earth did you bother marrying her? Correct me if I am wrong but once you marry, you and your spouse become one and hence there should be no secrets amongst you both to begin with. Besides, your money becomes her money and vice versa. This is why I keep saying it, most Nigerians have no business getting married in the first place. Y'all don't know what marraige is really all about. All most of you know how to do is to succumb to societal pressure to get married and then once you are in it, you don't know what to do with yourselves and then you guys come to nairaland to disturb our peace with your never ending marital questions/problems.

Jokers! lol

She z your wife, telling her how much u earn wont stop her from being ur wife.....so i advice u tell her n save ursef d stress

@ Poster, with all the comments i have read so far i am damn sure you will get more confused...Social forums most often don't help out in issues like these.

Kini big deal! She's ur wife for crying out loud! If u could look into her payslip and find out how much she earns u shld also tell her ur salary package.nothing dey there my brother! Unless u got some skeletons in ur cupboard! U r still the Boss u know!

There is nothing wrong with that,there should be that mutual trust btw couple,ther should be nothing to hide.

manosteel: I recently got married to this lady, she works in construction company while I worked in Govt. Ministry. I have seen my wife's pay slip, she earns slightly higher than I, but she believes that I'm earning higher than her,and she respects me as well as my job for that. I'm thinking of opening up to her and to let her know my true salary, should she find out in the future and treat me as a lier, but at the same time, I'm afraid that I might loose the respect she has for me as the head of the family.

@ Manosteel

Please pardon me, but am gonna look at your issue from another perspective.

From your story, its obvious you leave above your income level, perhaps you have contributed in one way or the other to the rot in our Nation today or how do you explain your assertion that your wife feels that you earn more than she does? where is the extra money coming from.

Depends on d kinda person she is. I would advocate 4 her 2 knw her,helps u plan 2geda wit ur resources bt since my ex dumped me, cos I made her believe she earned way more dan me I now hav a diff view. She is ur partner sha n she deserves 2 knw.

not to sound biased or something, i will advice every man NEVER to discuss his financial details with your wife.she may know your salary but not your entire worth in terms of how much you get monthly etc yes you love her and trust her but she is human. just as my grandfather and father told, i will keep to that. trust me as a man you will be respected more if she doesnt know.just continuing providing for her

The two shall become one they say. So why hide yourself from yourself?

kristofa09:
badosky in ha gd element..i second u..gd advice.lol.

U again?

It wasn't me!