|Join Nairaland / Login / Trending / Recent / New|
Stats: 1062165 members, 1234078 topics. Date: Wednesday, 22 May 2013 at 04:21 PM
|THE LOOTITUDES. Nigerian Politician's Edition. by Ibanga p(m): 3:35am On Jul 21, 2012|
1)And seein the multitude, corruption went into Aso Rock, and when he was set, the polititians came unto him.
2) And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:
3) Blessed are the clueless in wisdom; for theirs is the Presidency of the Nation.
4)Blessed are they that rig elections; for they shall be (S)elected.
5)Blessed are the thieves; for they shall inherit the National Assembly.
6)Blessed are they who do hunger and thirst for public funds; for their accounts shall be filled.
7)Blessed are the bribe-takers; for they shall obtain big bribes.
Blessed are the Petroleum Ministers; for they shall loot Trillions.
9)Blessed are the bootlickers; for they shall be called the Federal Executhief Council.
10)Blessed are they which are prosecuted for corruption sake; for theirs is the kingdom of wealth.
11)Blessed are ye, when EFCC shall invite you, and interrogate you, and bring all manner of charges against you, for my sake.
12)Rejoice and be exceedingly glad; for fat is your accounts in swiss banks, for so they the prosecuted politicians which were before you.
13)Ye are the thieves of the nation, but if the theif have lost his craftiness wherewith shall he be looting? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be charged to court and be sentenced to prison.
14)YE are the liars of the nation, a lie that is carefully though-out cannot be found.
15)Niether do politians cook a big lie, and serve it to Sahara Reporters, but to NTA, and it gives false hope unto those that watch 9pm news.
16)Let your gown so flow before men that they may see your big loot, and glorify your father which is in otta.
17)Think not that i am come to arrest the fuel marketers.
18)For verily i say unto you, till heaven and earth pass away,one naira shall not be left in the federation's account but all be looted away.
19)Whoever shall break one of this commandments and teach men so, shall be called Asiwaju in the kingdom of corruption. But whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called BOT chairman in the kingdom of corruption.
20)For i say unto you, except your corruption exceed that of policemen and lawmakers, ye shall in no case enter the kingdom of immunity.
21)Ye have heard that it was said by them of the old time , Thou shall not loot, and whoever shall loot shall be in danger of judgement.
22)But i say unto you, that whoever shall be angry with his party without a cause shall be in danger of judgement, and whoever shall say; stop looting shall be in danger of penury, the elder brother of poverty.
23)Therefore if thou bring thy loot to the UK, and there rememberest that the EFCC has a case against thee
24)Leave thy loot in a UK bank and go to Dubai; first be reconciled with the EFCC chaiman and come enjoy thy loot.
25)Bribe thy prosecutors quickly while thou art on the way with him, lest at anytime he deliver thee to the judge and the judge sentence theee, and thou be cast into prison
26)For verily i say unto you, thou shall by no means come out thence, till thou have entered a plea bargain.
Here and around.com
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health