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Family / Re: Are You Feeling Suicidal? Come Here First! (part 2) by iamanonymous: 3:56pm On Aug 30, 2013
Last year, I was diagnosed with MDD and was place on medications. I felt better and have since discontinued the medication. Recently, I fear that I am having another episode. I feel so terrible, the only thing keeping me is the grief I will cause my loved ones. I have talked to a trusted person about how I feel and I was encouraged. I did feel a bit better after the chat, but the thoughts still creep in.
Health / Re: My Life At This Moment by iamanonymous: 6:05am On Jan 04, 2013
Hello All,

Thank you all so very much (if there's something like that) for your prayers, encouragement, and advise. I am better now, I do not pray to experience what I've experienced again (I do not even wish it for my worst enemy). I might need to continue the medication for a long period of time to prevent a relapse but I'm soooo loving myself right now. I almost forgot what it felt like to be healthy and happy. I've been off the drug for about a week (too lazy to go for a refill at the pharmacy) but I don't even notice. I'm ready to go back to school for the new term and get all my As as I used to grin

Thanks so much and God bless you all.

Lest I forget, Happy new year to you all.
Family / Re: I Read My Sister"s Diary And She Is Planning To Commit Suicide by iamanonymous: 5:59am On Jan 04, 2013
Reading your post was like someone telling my story few months back. I thought the whole world was against me and I hated myself for that. Nothing seemed to be going well for me and that made it worse. I would stay in my room and write about how much I was a disappointment to my family and how I was the 'black sheep' of the family. I did have suicide thoughts. I remember wishing a car would hit me, at least then, I would be dead but not by my doing. I almost started cutting because of the pain and hurt I felt. To make matters worse, my physical health deteriorated. I always had complains of pains or aches. I finally found the courage to seek help when I realized how bad it was getting. I was diagnozed with MDD few months ago (little did I know that this was what I was suffering from for almost 1 year)and was placed on medications. I am in the West too, and I reason that people are going through worse where we come from and they cope, why then am I stressed about little setbacks, but I realize that people handle situations differently. Like you, my family did not really understand and said it was because I prayed less and have backslidden. (I am working out my r/ship with God)
Thanks to my big sis and a few nlanders that were there for me throughout those periods. It's three months now and I must tell you, I'm a different person now. I've been doing things I would not have been able to do before. My lil sister, out of nowhere, told me yesterday that she can now play with me because I was no longer aggressive.
Your sister needs you now more than ever. Be strong for her and pray with and for her. I will be praying for you too.

Sorry for the long epistle smiley. Just to let you know that she's not alone and that she's definitely going to get better with the right help. It's just a matter of time.

1 Like

Health / Re: My Life At This Moment by iamanonymous: 5:11am On Nov 25, 2012
These couple of days have been terrible. No one understands what I'm going through. I try to put up a smile but deep inside I am hurting.
I hate this illness and all that it brought with it (was diagnosed with acute acid reflux and told that if I don't eat, I might develop ulcer).
The pains and aches get so much that I feel like I can't bear it anymore. I am holding on but it's like my grip is beginning to get loose.
I hate the disappointments I'm putting everybody through. I just want to be happy again and enjoy life.
My only hope is knowing that He feels the pains I feel and sees the tears I cry and that He would be merciful to heal/save me from this dilemma.
Health / Re: My Life At This Moment by iamanonymous: 3:03am On Nov 18, 2012
~Sissy~:


Good decision.

what medication/s did your doctor put you on, if you dont mind me asking

I am on Cepralex 10mg.
*Kails*:


Seconded.

I know the feeling sometimes.
I dont take perscription medication, i meditate and pray.
Sometimes neither is enough so i take adv.il/m0trine medicine to ease the inevitable physical pain I will feel and sleep off my "down times".

Anyway its not about me...i am just happy you have a plan to fight this. I will pray for you sis. You will get through this. kiss

Thanks so much. Good to know that there are people praying for me. The prescription medication was one of the few reasons I didn't seek help on time. I used to think that the feelings would pass but they grew worse, hence the need to seek help. Does anyone know how you feel or you just keep the feelings all to yourself? Hope you have someone to talk to because that could help a lot.
Health / Re: My Life At This Moment by iamanonymous: 11:54pm On Nov 11, 2012
Thanks so much everyone.
Just wanted to give a little update on what's been happening so far.

I really appreciate. I eventually found the courage to tell a family member, but it's not easy when they don't understand and think it's all your fault, so I have decided not to tell anyone else, at least, not until I get a bit better.

I'm still on medications. My doc gave me a prescription for 30 days when I was diagnosed. When I went for check-up, he prescribed another 60 tablets for me with 5 refills. He says I might need to be on the medication for a year so I don't relapse. I'm just a few weeks in, and the side effects have been sort of affecting my normal activities.

Regarding my school work, due to the lack of concentration and motivation, I did not perform so well in my assessments, but with the medication now, I should be able to study well for my final exams and make up for the shitty midterms.

@ Mogbomoya, I'm so sorry to hear that Ma. I'm sure you have a healthy baby. They say the risk of postpartum disorder is higher in people with previous history of depression, and this makes me scared. How long have you been on antidepressants?

@ Ivynwa, thanks for the hugs grin When the thoughts come, I just try to wave it away and tell myself that this is just a season that will definitely pass, that gives me hope.

@ Sissy, it wasn't easy gong to the doctor, it was when I realized that something was wrong with me that I went to see my school counselor who advised me to visit my family doctor.
Health / My Life At This Moment by iamanonymous: 12:10am On Oct 26, 2012
I have been a passive reader of this site for a short while but something happened today that made me write my first post to give me something to look forward to.

After several weeks of feeling down, I finally decided to visit the doctor today and he diagnosed me with Major Depressive Disorder cry. At first, I was glad to know what has been wrong with me; to know that what has been causing all those moodiness, lack of concentration, loss of appetite, insomnia, and even suicidal thoughts and many more was due to no fault of mine but chemical imbalances in my brain. It later began to dawn on me that I am one of the few people that become overwhelmed with the stress of everyday life sad.

I started on antidepressant medication today and I know the first couple of days won't be easy due to the side effects, but knowing that few weeks from now, I will feel begin better gives me hope.

The doctor advised me to tell my parents but I don't think I have the courage to tell them yet considering how they might react.

Till then, I'm gonna try to concentrate on my studies again and improve my grades hoping that the side effects do not hinder me much.

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