Got A Plum Job: Now She Wants Me Back!

When scenarios play out like this, we are quick to say she's only after your green
But what if she saw something more in the banker then she wasn't seeing in you other than money? Like his sense of humor, wit, maturity, charisma or some other attribute you as a contender wouldn't want to acknowledge at the time

What if she's now seeing something in you other than money that you've grown into? Heck it's been two years and haven't you improved in more areas than just the size of your take home pay? And the money/job as an extra only reinforces her feelings for you. Nothing wrong with that in my book.

And what if she didn't discard her banker boyfriend as you so conveniently assumed to give your story a certain effect, and perhaps the relationship just ended out of more natural circumstances.

What if isn't the way to go, but my personal opinion is if she's been a decent enough friend ever since you both severed the relationship, and you have a gut level feeling that she's the one (nobody needs to tell u that!) then she deserves the benefit of the doubt and a second chance.

@ C_JAY
I didn't see your post before I made mine. Guess it came in while I was still writing.
I'm so glad that some guys still see things this way.
This is exactly what my point is here.
C_JAY, you're so correct.

she left you because you were broke _{according to you}
she wants you because you are in money now _{still according to you}

i have nothing to say here boo,whatever you decide to do.good luck.

I would advise you have her back if you are sure you still love her. Sometimes we tend to shy away from the fact that ladies prefer to marry a secured person. Marrying the security in the man first before his person. They may term it "prospects" back at University days but as levels change they tend to get definite ,  good apartment, nice job, good ride ,  everything that goes along with comfort.

Well, no one wants to be uncomfortable ,  if you were a lady am sure you would not either. Personally, I think it you should accept her back if you still love her and never let her know your maximum comfort level since such a lady can't withstand turbulent periods if they come!

@ crazyT
You are 100 correct.
Guy run as fast as your legs can carry you awya from her. She is a food-on-the-table girl friend. She is not ready to suffer with you at all.
Run! Run!! Run!!!

Adeboo did i really pull that off? hey I'm all smiles 

Man. Are u still sleepin? Au did u pass the process to gettin that oil coy job if u r this 'unsmart'? please note

1. take a look @ d title u gave your issue. Yuo kno the truth

2. Die with that paid job

3. make sure no other guy gets a beta job in naija, odawise, u'll soon b like that banker to her 2

4. marriage? if thats what u r thinkin of havin that girl in mind,  then please look at my signatur quote

5. congrats on ur job. but beware of overdrafts if u r stil the suitor of Miss Coolweather.

6. Even when it hurts, be blunt, or at least, 4thright

7. Goodluck brother,

When scenarios play out like this, we are quick to say she's only after your green
But what if she saw something more in the banker then she wasn't seeing in you other than money? Like his sense of humor, wit, maturity, charisma or some other attribute you as a contender wouldn't want to acknowledge at the time

What if she's now seeing something in you other than money that you've grown into? Heck it's been two years and haven't you improved in more areas than just the size of your take home pay? And the money/job as an extra only reinforces her feelings for you. Nothing wrong with that in my book.

And what if she didn't discard her banker boyfriend as you so conveniently assumed to give your story a certain effect, and perhaps the relationship just ended out of more natural circumstances.

What if isn't the way to go, but my personal opinion is if she's been a decent enough friend ever since you both severed the relationship, and you have a gut level feeling that she's the one (nobody needs to tell u that!) then she deserves the benefit of the doubt and a second chance.


@C_JAY
You word is full of "if". if this if that, the reality is that the lady is after money, pure and simple(typical niaja girls).

@cool4ny
Yes, if this if that, that's why i finally pointed out it wasn't the sure way to go. No guarantees,

Just to let u know, I'm learning  to stop seeing people as labels or stereotypes. "Ah Igbo men like money", "Yoruba girls are too dirty", "typical naija girls"and all that jazz we utter during social conversations.
Seeing people that way shows very little thought on our part and distorts our view of who they really are somewhat. Nigerians, we do that a lot.
And it's wrong.
Sure, "typical" must have been coined as an English word for some reason. But legions of atypical people or non-conformists abound in good measure.

So my point is, it's natural to think she's only showing up because he's doing well financially,why not, our society shaped that kind of thinking.
 
But what if she's not?

Don't be hasty in your decision. It might not be all about money. You said you were an undergrad when she left you. Maybe she was ready to marry at the time and did not want to wait for you to finish school to start working on a relationship that would lead to marriage. You guys still managed to stay friends even when she was dating other people. SO she atleas valued you as something. Also you did say "eventually" she left the other guy. Which means that she did not just dump him and run to you. She took her time. Did the guy lose his job and so she decided she did not need him? If he did not then she could just have easily have stayed with a banker. Weigh all the options. She might be the one for you but only you can truly know that.

people will never learn.
@poster,
why go back to someone who dumped you when you had nothing.
if she truly loved you she would have stuck with you these two years.
she may have the banker as her Aristo but u'D still be her main guy.
most girls do it.
but dumping you totally and coming back after two years???
there's no excuse worth tendering.
Guy,wake up and smell the coffee.
that girl is going to sting you again and its going to hurt real baaaaadd.

hey man,

no pretense here, prior to  getting your present job, what was the call rate? you know better. almost every woman wants security(LOADS OF CASH), as much as the guys do, if she sees someone wealthier than you she wouldnt mind, but if she feels secure even with your "SLIM LOAD OF CASH", she will stick to you.

agreed, she may have left for other reasons we do not know, but this case in question is nothing, absolutely nothing but your cash man, but you can still love her though, but all you have to do is learn to work harder to always meet up.

cheers.

My dear, the decision is left for you, though you can get good advices here, but your own decision matters most.
If she left you because u run out of cash, then she is not worth it, she can't move along with you, unless you want to face the same heartbreak again. But if your  heart still beats for her  well the decision is yours.

good luck comrade

Flee as if a mad man is chasing you.

d handwritin is on d wall u shuldnt av even considered takin her back.she's back 4 sth no nt money she back 2 ruin u emotionally,financially nd uhmm probably reputationally.take ur pick b wise or take d fall.