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Don1DeMaco
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u mean women don't choose who and when to marry?  ? didnt know that. is that true? ?? so please educate me how do they now get married? |
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Nihil-ce-M
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u mean women don't choose who and when to marry? ? didnt know that. is that true? ?? so please educate me how do they now get married? Abeg as you carry your whala come, kindly carry am go. I nor fit debate with someone like you. With all due respect, where exactly are you from? I never knew that a woman marrying, was synonymous to a sheep being led to the slaughter-house!  I am from Nigeria, check profile! You know that country where a woman can be bought, thrown out of the house, replaced by a younger one. I am sure you know it. It is situated in the west of Africa, it shares border with Ghana. Crack your head. I am sure it'll come up to your mind. |
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yemivictor (m)
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Abeg as you carry your whala come, kindly carry am go. I nor fit debate with someone like you.
I am from Nigeria, check profile!
You know that country where a woman can be bought,
thrown out of the house,
replaced by a younger one.
I am sure you know it. It is situated in the west of Africa, it shares border with Ghana.
Crack your head. I am sure it'll come up to your mind.
I actually did check your profile, and your home-town is of more concern to me as against your nationality! Perhaps when we get ahold of that information, we'D know how women from your home-town are faring in their marital homes, if any? Since u've made marriage some what distasteful to the womenfolk! Trust me, you do not want to pick a thread fight with me!  |
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Nihil-ce-M
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I actually did check your profile, and your home-town is of more concern to me as against your nationality! Perhaps when we get ahold of that information, we'D know how women from your home-town are faring in their marital homes, if any? Since u've made marriage some what distasteful to the womenfolk! Trust me, you do not want to pick a thread fight with me! What others decide to do in their marriage is none of my business and i am not here to respond to the behaviour of girls from my hometown. And please don't even try to use that tactics with me, cause I am not even going to defend them either. You are free to abuse them as you like. Abi na me ask them make they like money pass their dignity???!!! |
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yemivictor (m)
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What others decide to do in their marriage is none of my business
and i am not here to respond to the behaviour of girls from my hometown.
And please don't even try to use that tactics with me, cause I am not even going to defend them either.
You are free to abuse them as you like.
Abi na me ask them make they like money pass their dignity???!!!
Good! Just what i wanted to hear read  . Now, let's go back to the basics, where on earth did you get the notion that women do not have a choice as to who & when to marry??? |
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michelin89 (f)
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@ yemivictor
Don't worry I know you are just playing the part of the dummie cause you know what I am talking about very well. I don't like fake mugus and I'D be disappointed if you continue to act like one.
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michelin89 (f)
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I was banned that's why I had another username. I admit I was very aggressive but now with my username back I'll be more calm. I don't want to lose it again.
Well darling having multiple personalities is part of humans because we have different emotions: anger, sadness, happiness, etc. Sometimes when we move from a feeling to another we change completely. I am not surprised if you never guessed I was Nihil although it was very simple. Check the two usernames: they are written with the same letters.
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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I'm willing to bet yemi is the only person who wasnt aware that you were one and the same. Dork.
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michelin89 (f)
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TOH  Happy to see you again. |
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ThiefOfHearts (f)
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why the sad emoticon? I'm glad you got your name back.  |
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Delesdairy (m)
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It depends on the nature of her past and the guy in question. If he also has a dirty past, then things get easy for her. for instance .A guy whose girl aborts for him severally befor they finally got married will not be so mad to discover she had a series of them before meeting him.
What ever it is . the girl must take note of the following:
the timeing- The relationship must be allowed to attain some level of maturity so the shock from the discovery doesnt break it
[b]The source:She must also be careful not to let him discover her past from an external source. she must tell him her self getting to know from an external source could make the issue worse
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michelin89 (f)
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why the sad emoticon? I'm glad you got your name back. Yeah and I am going to paint this forum red (of happiness)!  |
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fofura (f)
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First I am concerned with the words "dirty" past. So right from the beginning you are judging. No one stays the same, they grow and change, and mistakes made in youth should have no relation to the present. Maybe it is more indicative of a sexist society that allows men the idea can come barging into a present day marriage/relation to "tattle" on the spouse. How ridiculous and ugly. They deserve to be shown the door. When you love, you love completely, otherwise you are trying to marrying an idea, an ideal that is impossible. Marrying a vrigin would be no different. If you are suspicious or nagging thoughts about your partners past, you will do the same with a virgin "is she looking at that man?" "why is she dressing up/ going out/ putting so much perfume/so distant these days"? Better to realize the problem is in your own head and attitude then burden another woman with this old story, just my humble opinion
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Jezzy (f)
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Honesty is the best policy.If this is a relationship leading to marriage,the parties involved have to come clean with each other about their past.No matter how much one wants to overlook the past,it has great bearing on the way a person's outlook on the future is formed.The disclosure is not supposed to be for malicious purposes,it should help the people involved to map out a better future.It would also keep them accountable.
Remember,Love keeps no record of wrongs(I Cor 13:5b).
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spoilt (f)
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my opinion? Edit the stories you tell him or just shut the hell up!  |
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tobaaro (m)
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Ds is a really tough JAMB SAT ICAN question?? If you hear it from the dog's Horses mouth, Its tough 2 deal wit, And if u hear it from d guys at a bar?? Dat 1 na die!! Shakes head and clicks away! |
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yemivictor (m)
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I'm willing to bet yemi is the only person who wasnt aware that you were one and the same. Dork.
You really think that was necessary? |
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blacklion (m)
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[Hmmmmmmmmm! To the folks who say the past is the past and all and any misdeeds in the past should remain there, I have a few questions -
For the ladies, I take it that you are not really interested in knowing whether your BF or husband was once known to be a pedophile, child molester/abuser, a rapist, a known sexual pervert, a flasher etc? And you don't want anybody who knew him back then when he was a child abuser to tell you? You would be comfortable being married to a man who was once known to be a pedophile and child molester? You would not be worried that he might relapse into his old perversion and molest your kids sexually?
For the guys, you really and absolutely don't care if your wife or GF was once a street hooker or an aristo babe while on campus? You absolutely don't care if 50 guys at your office, at your club or in your neighbourhood had paid cash to sleep with her back in those days when she was prostituting? You really don't care that your work buddies and pals at the club have all seen your wife's naked body and sampled her goodies?
OK, assuming you live in Europe or North America, you absolutely would not want to know prior to the wedding if your GF/BF/Spouse had any previous drug or felony convictions and if he/she had done time? I hope you gys are aware that drug, drunk driving or felony convictions in the US can sometimes or often mean that he will never obtain decent paid employment in his life again and that very often banks and financial institutions will deny him business loans, home mortgages and that he will not qualify for government-backed student loans to further his education?
Also, are we to believe that if you live in Europe or North America, you absolutely would not want to know prior to the wedding if your GF/BF/Spouse had a bad credit history, had defaulted or maxed out on credit cards, was owing back-payments on his/her mortgage, student loan etc. I hope y'all are aware that in the American financial system, one spouse's bad credit rating can sometimes negatively affect the other.
Just curious!
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naijaborn (m)
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Transparency is very vital in wotsoever one does in life *** it'll only chek n balance yur days on earth no mor no less
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chychy (f)
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Yeah and I am going to paint this forum red (of happiness)! Honesty is the best policy.If this is a relationship leading to marriage,the parties involved have to come clean with each other about their past.No matter how much one wants to overlook the past,it has great bearing on the way a person's outlook on the future is formed.The disclosure is not supposed to be for malicious purposes,it should help the people involved to map out a better future.It would also keep them accountable.
Remember,Love keeps no record of wrongs(I Cor 13:5b).
You guys have said it well, /judge not lest ye be judged, |
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yemivictor (m)
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[Hmmmmmmmmm! To the folks who say the past is the past and all and any misdeeds in the past should remain there, I have a few questions -
For the ladies, I take it that you are not really interested in knowing whether your BF or husband was once known to be a pedophile, child molester/abuser, a rapist, a known sexual pervert, a flasher etc? And you don't want anybody who knew him back then when he was a child abuser to tell you? You would be comfortable being married to a man who was once known to be a pedophile and child molester? You would not be worried that he might relapse into his old perversion and molest your kids sexually?
For the guys, you really and absolutely don't care if your wife or GF was once a street hooker or an aristo babe while on campus? You absolutely don't care if 50 guys at your office, at your club or in your neighbourhood had paid cash to sleep with her back in those days when she was prostituting? You really don't care that your work buddies and pals at the club have all seen your wife's naked body and sampled her goodies?
OK, assuming you live in Europe or North America, you absolutely would not want to know prior to the wedding if your GF/BF/Spouse had any previous drug or felony convictions and if he/she had done time? I hope you gys are aware that drug, drunk driving or felony convictions in the US can sometimes or often mean that he will never obtain decent paid employment in his life again and that very often banks and financial institutions will deny him business loans, home mortgages and that he will not qualify for government-backed student loans to further his education?
Also, are we to believe that if you live in Europe or North America, you absolutely would not want to know prior to the wedding if your GF/BF/Spouse had a bad credit history, had defaulted or maxed out on credit cards, was owing back-payments on his/her mortgage, student loan etc. I hope y'all are aware that in the American financial system, one spouse's bad credit rating can sometimes negatively affect the other.
Just curious!
This is a well-worded piece of article, you took all the key points right out of my mouth and storified them well! This is what we've been trying to preach to all those "why-do-you-want-to-hear-something-that'll-break-your-heart" crusaders.
Those who have ears, let them hear! |
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issue (m)
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YES OOOOOOOO!
truth is nobody really needs to know everything about another person, (what r u, God???)
so if a woman feels like telling all, its her own biz, but as for me, i don't think i'D want to know everything, gimme a hint, explain that u're not a virgin but i don't think i really need to know how good/bad u've been. and u wont know that much about me either
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michelin89 (f)
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YES OOOOOOOO!
truth is nobody really needs to know everything about another person, (what r u, God???)
so if a woman feels like telling all, its her own biz, but as for me, i don't think i'D want to know everything, gimme a hint, explain that u're not a virgin but i don't think i really need to know how good/bad u've been. and u wont know that much about me either
Why? |
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Tawak (f)
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if he can handle a terrible past
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vanstanzy
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TELLING You HER PAST LIFE IS AN ALMOST DEFINITE INDICATOR THAT SHE WANTS TO BE SERIOUS WITH THE R/SHIP. BESIDES,A KNOWLEDGE OF THE FACT THAT SHE HAS SPILT HER BEANS WILL MAKE CERTAIN THAT HER PAST DOESNT HAPPEN TO HER AGAIN.
THOUGH SOME PEOPLE JUST DONT LEARN!GO AHEAD ENCOURAGE HER TO SPIL IT "LIKE ITS HOT".SOMETIMES IT HURTS REAL BAD THOUGH,BUT HEY!TRUTH HURTS,RIGHT?
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tkb417 (m)
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marrying a girl without knowing her pasts is synonymous with a bank granting out loans without checking if the person is credit worthy, or picking up a pair of shoes without checking the size till you get home. . .
its tantamount to throwing the money away.
I'll need to know her pasts or ill get to discover later her pasts that will make me lose my sleep for life!!!
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issue (m)
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@ michelin89
everybody has done something in the past, and those who haven't hav thot of doin something. so i believe that he that has no sin should judge. i know it wont be me doin the judging.
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Kemjisuper (m)
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Of course! It's either you get to know her past, or her past gets to know you eventually!  |
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yemivictor (m)
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Of course! It's either you get to know her past, or her past gets to know you eventually! |
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Shelly01
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I think it is important to know the person you are with, so in that case you would have to know their past becasue it's an important part of who they are. And who they may eventully become.
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