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voghor12
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the past is the key to the future. it will help the man to know those things that are capable of bringing out the best in the woman. even those things she pretends she is ok with can also be revealed through such study. this is not to say that all judgements should be base on the past as she may chage some of those attributs. when tried however, some inherent attributes will be exhibited.
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D-reloaded (f)
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the past is the key to the future. it will help the man to know those things that are capable of bringing out the best in the woman. .
so only the man should know the woman's past right? |
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D-reloaded (f)
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@ D-reloaded,
Will you please stop addressing Nigerian guys in derogatory terms, trying really hard to contain my anger! WTF is wrong with you?
If u've had issues with any naija guy in the past, you should be intelligent and broad-minded enough to know that ALL NAIJA GUYS ARE NOT THE SAME!
It beats me, but you can't just come on nairaland and drag naija guys in the mud with impunity!
And just so you know, just as you have engraved in your heart, sexist male pigs and arab oriented men (as you call it), we also have UNREPENTANT FEMINIST WHORES!!! Get it?
o je bi to fi "contain anger", o de wa lu mi ni gba naa? like your arab breathen?  Dude I said "Alot" not "All", if it were "All" I wouldnt be in a relationship with one. Learn the difference between most and all, then get back to me As for your last comment, that has nothing to do with me. Thanks and Ciao!  |
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degubi (m)
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Whether a woman tells man her past or not is not the issue, the issue is if the man would be mature enough to handle it appropriately or would use it to get back at her when she falls short of his expectation. Some women keep secrets of their past out of a concern that the man may not be able to handle such revelations and some men fail to realise that we all make mistakes,so there is always need to over look the past. But a woman should not be forced to reveal her past unless she wants to. And a woman should ensure that her man is aware of any scandal of the past,so that if he hears it from a third party he would know how to handle it.
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D-reloaded (f)
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Whether a woman tells man her past or not is not the issue, the issue is if the man would be mature enough to handle it appropriately or would use it to get back at her when she falls short of his expectation. Some women keep secrets of their past out of a concern that the man may not be able to handle such revelations and some men fail to realise that we all make mistakes,so there is always need to over look the past. But a woman should not be forced to reveal her past unless she wants to. And a woman should ensure that her man is aware of any scandal of the past,so that if he hears it from a third party he would know how to handle it.
The Arabs havent affected you yet. We thank God  |
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Finecat (m)
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@D-reloaded
TOH, Agidi eyin omo Ekiti ti poju. Calm down sweetheart. I hope your tongue is not this sharp when you talk to your man ?? Unless he's from Ekiti too. By the way, was that Yoruba you was speaking?
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iyc (m)
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Hello all!!!!! I just hit on the subject, and its just a big laugh. Hey, what u do not know does not hurt you, they say. i believe and agree with them, its not so much about where u have been, but is about where you are and where u are going. mess HISTORY, KILL THE PAST!!!!!
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yemivictor (m)
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o je bi to fi "contain anger", o de wa lu mi ni gba naa? like your arab breathen? Dude I said "Alot" not "All", if it were "All" I wouldnt be in a relationship with one. Learn the difference between most and all, then get back to meAs for your last comment, that has nothing to do with me. Thanks and Ciao! Madam english teacher, the difference between "most" and "all" on a contextual basis, would have to be rather insignificant don't you think?
Secondly, you said i should come and "lu e ni egba" don't worry because i won't do that, but let me catch you one-on-one and you'll see what i'll do to u! |
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MasterUwem (m)
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when revealing your past to ur partner it should be during love, don't just sit up one day and while he was less emotional u just start telling him about ur Mess up wit your formal guys, how ur aborted innocent babies, how many time u hard sex before a week runs out, and how many guys(mugu) you will keeping.
understand you partner very well before going into such a discussion
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cute9jaguy (m)
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i once had a sweet gurl,i regret knowing her past because it led to our break up. she was so dirty in the past,but i swear,she's so sweet. i couldnt handle it and i tried to be protective,she had to run because i was not handling it well.It was hard to let go but i had to!
i think you shouldnt know about ur gurl's past,just know if she's HIV + or not!
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kaylala (m)
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Its not a big deal though,so far you are not a jealous type and you are matured enough to handle what you hear.
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cute_N_hot (f)
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why is it important?
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kaylala (m)
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Not clear with that  |
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ariblaze (m)
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Whether a woman tells man her past or not is not the issue, the issue is if the man would be mature enough to handle it appropriately or would use it to get back at her when she falls short of his expectation. Some women keep secrets of their past out of a concern that the man may not be able to handle such revelations and some men fail to realise that we all make mistakes,so there is always need to over look the past. But a woman should not be forced to reveal her past unless she wants to. And a woman should ensure that her man is aware of any scandal of the past,so that if he hears it from a third party he would know how to handle it.
well said don't ask if you can't handle it thats the right policy |
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kaylala (m)
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don't ask if you can't handle it WORD |
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odiaseo (m)
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Sometimes it is necessary and in other's it's not. One needs to evaluate the situation and determine if the past needs to be reviewed. If the motivating factor behind the inquisition is true love, the end result if guaranteed. It is much better to earn the trust of your spouse to they extend that they are free and willing to share their past with you without any prompting.
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yemivictor (m)
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WORD
But, how exactly are you supposed to know whether you can take it or not IF YOU DO NOT HEAR IT! extra-sensory perception? |
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abbeyboy (m)
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What you need to ask yourself is:
Do YOU have a past?
Have YOU told your girlfriends about YOUR past?
Do revelations of past relationships have any bearing on the here and now?
Do you feel you're oblighed to know about your girlfriend's past? And why?
Do revelations of past relationships only apply to ladies? If yes, why?
The answer to your question lies in your reply to the above.
As far as I'm concerned, the past should remain firmly in the past, I don't honestly see why I should expect my girlfriend to reveal her past to me, unless I'm prepared to do the same. From the sounds of things, you seem to have problems dealing with the fact you weren't the first man in your girlfriends life, unless you're on the hunt for a virgin?
Are you a virgin yourself?
You've said it all. Good logic. 
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Don1DeMaco
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i don't see any reason why not
infact its very key in a relationship because it either makes the bond stronger or breaks it whichis a win win for both parties,
i mean if i know my girlfriend has a habit of cheating on her boyfriend then i go don prepare my mind for it to happen before e even happen that way u no go fit blame anybody but yourself, and vice versa, if u go out and somebody is bad mouthing her u can stand up for her because she has been honest to u about it and u ve accepted it so it wouldnt be much of a problem conpared to if u discover the past from someone else. thats my take on the issue
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kaylala (m)
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But, how exactly are you supposed to know whether you can take it or not IF YOU DO NOT HEAR IT! extra-sensory perception? As a man or a right human being,i believe you should know your strength and weakness. Do you agree with this? |
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kaylala (m)
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infact its very key in a relationship because it either makes the bond stronger or breaks it which is a win win for both parties I don't agree to this,it doesn't have to amount to a win win for both parties. |
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theboy0808 (m)
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Why should you want to know something that will only break your heart?
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yemivictor (m)
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As a man or a right human being,i believe you should know your strength and weakness.
Do you agree with this?
I beg to differ with your position kaylala, you know why? Because your position is prejudiced! I mean, how on earth are you supposed to know how actually terrible or pleasant your partner's past has been unless you have the details?
What if upon given the details, you find that things are not actually as terrible as you had expected?
I don't believe all the crap about "knowing your strength and weakness" or "why do i want to know something that'll break my heart". Better have my heart broken now than later!
Honesty is the best policy, and there's nothing new under the sun!!!
Anything short of your partner coming out clean is tantamount to blackmail!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! |
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Don1DeMaco
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thank you please tell them again
if u truly love ur partner and have his/ her interest at heart u come clean and take ur chances
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afroasian (m)
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everybody has a past, whether it was good or bad.
Yes, its good for couples to TELL ALL to themselves, about their pasts etc., This serves to solidify the foundation of the relationship, build trust and confidence.
No matter what she was before, if I'm in Love with her, I believe that Love seals up her past, but I should know about it, because you know people are different. You might meet someone in future and he tells you something bad about your wife. If you knew it before, you can quickly brush the statement aside and even make a joke out of it. At least, such keeps your own peace of mind, and your wife's dignity. At the end of the day, the story-teller will have to keep his/her mouth shut.
The truth is there is no future without a past, and the sooner couples open up to each other, the better for the relationship now and in the future.
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Nihil-ce-M
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Men can't handle the truth. They are so insecure.
As for me, I told my ex about my first boyfriend and wether he accepted it or not was his cup of tea.
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Vgal
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it's not good to tell a man your past, especially men you've slept with, they can't handle it. My friend paula hammond told her ex kojo annan all the guys she slept with and kojo couldn't stand the fact that he knows those guys. The alter bound relationship broke up. If he finds out, don't deny, but don't be the first to tell.
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top_kin (m)
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It's not necessary and please dnt pry into knowing it. It definitely won't help. It would make the relationship worse except ans except u truly have a forgiving and christlike heart. But in its totality its absolutely not necessary!!!
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blueband (m)
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It is very difficult to deal with.
Scenario 1:
Girl Friend:I used to date married men
Boy friend:Thinking to himself(I am stuck with someone who can do Under G,someone who has no respect for matrimony,someone who has no respect for herself)
Scenario 2:
Boyfriend:I used to hang around sanusi fafunwa picking up prostitutes
Girlfriend:Thinking to herself(what kind of beast is this man)
Girlfriend,now hears from her sister-your boyfriend carries prostitues.Girlfriend knows this is true,but her sister telling her does not reduce the pain.
Scenario 3:
Girlfriend:Whenver governors came to town,we used to go and sleep with them
Boyfriend:Hmmmm,I still love you darling.
On boyfriend's wedding day,his dad's friend recognise the bride to be someone who was his "tooth pick".He tells grooms father-"That girl is very lose".Grooms father tells son.It still does not reduce the pain the boyfriend will feel.(This actually happened to a friend,and couple is now divorced)
Scenario 4:
Girlfriend:I had an abortion for my boyfriend.He disclaimed the baby
Boyfriend hears his babe has had an abortion.He laughs over it.
There are somethings that can NEVER be erased from amn's mind and that is sexual promuiscuity.The man will always be insecure.To avoid spilling your past,live a high moral life.Many guys and girls do.Believe it or not!
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yemivictor (m)
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Men can't handle the truth. They are so insecure.
As for me, I told my ex about my first boyfriend and wether he accepted it or not was his cup of tea.
And you actually think women can handle the truth and don't have insecurities too! Better wake up girl, and stop living in a fool's paradise! It is very difficult to deal with.
Scenario 1:
Girl Friend:I used to date married men
Boy friend:Thinking to himself(I am stuck with someone who can do Under G,someone who has no respect for matrimony,someone who has no respect for herself)
Scenario 2:
Boyfriend:I used to hang around sanusi fafunwa picking up prostitutes
Girlfriend:Thinking to herself(what kind of beast is this man)
Girlfriend,now hears from her sister-your boyfriend carries prostitues.Girlfriend knows this is true,but her sister telling her does not reduce the pain.
Scenario 3:
Girlfriend:Whenver governors came to town,we used to go and sleep with them
Boyfriend:Hmmmm,I still love you darling.
On boyfriend's wedding day,his dad's friend recognise the bride to be someone who was his "tooth pick".He tells grooms father-"That girl is very lose".Grooms father tells son.It still does not reduce the pain the boyfriend will feel.(This actually happened to a friend,and couple is now divorced)
Scenario 4:
Girlfriend:I had an abortion for my boyfriend.He disclaimed the baby
Boyfriend hears his babe has had an abortion.He laughs over it.
There are somethings that can NEVER be erased from amn's mind and that is sexual promuiscuity.The man will always be insecure.To avoid spilling your past,live a high moral life.Many guys and girls do.Believe it or not!
Case closed and end of discussion! HE WHO HAS NOTHING TO HIDE HAS NOTHING TO FEAR!!! |
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Nihil-ce-M
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And you actually think women can handle the truth and don't have insecurities too! Better wake up girl, and stop living in a fool's paradise! Sweetheart, while a man can choose when and who to marry, women aren't that lucky. Afterall, you have got the choice!  |
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