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choco4life (m)
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My humble opinion would be YES,
A traditional wedding cannot be consummated without the consent of the parents of the parties involved, and without witnesses.
Since the conditions above are met, i see no reason why a Man should not start test running his purchase before the white wedding.
The most important blessings come from thr parents and not the pastor, my opinion
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birdman (m)
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its funny how people add 'jara' to their religion and then say this is what God wants  . A court wedding is sufficient. A traditional wedding would be sufficient, except that it is not as legally binding, at least not in 2008. |
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HERO111
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@poster,
u see, to me i believe this your topic is just like coming out to ask WHICH RELIGION IS THE BEST IN THE WHOLE WORLD . bc in this forum now, there are different people from diverse religious backgrounds and beliefs. E.g there are traditionlist and other religious believers whose doctrines may support sex before coming into the presence of God to declare their unions. To me i strongly believe that anything short of church wedding or blessing is fornication. Any pastor can give it a name or another personnally coined idea to suite his act, but the truth is the truth and lives for ever.
No man can change what God has said, he may mislead innocent people with it but it will never change.
thats my opinion
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biife
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doing traditional wedding and church wedding is getting
married twice!
there are only two types of wedding: customary and civil.
you know, africans like mixing tradition with their religious
beliefs,
the traditional wedding is customary which you get registered
according to the law afterward the ceremonies,
the civil wedding is consumated at a registry or at a legally
certified place of worship that can transact the business of getting
married.
but most folks like affeferity!
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biife
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did joseph have to appear before a temple
to marry mary? etc.
enough of this traditions of men as God\'s doctrine!
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jintujinta (m)
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It all depends on how you see it. If you see the traditional WEDDING as the main thing and going to church as just a formality of an avenue to just get a certificate to make the wedding official, then it is not a sin. However, if you consider yourself not married until a man of pronounces you married in a house of God, then it will be sin to consummate the relationship.
However, a marriage is believed to have taken place once the groom pays the bride price and the parents of the bride give their daughter away and bless the relationship while the groom's parents also accept and bless the relationship. Marriage is more than the church ceremony but i will advice that if anyone intends doing the white wedding, the traditional wedding should be done on the previous day to the white wedding, the way they do engagement in the south west, so that the following day the wedding can take place and everyone can go home and live happily ever after.
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jaaxton
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Hi Nairalanders, I was really worried by the confusion generated by this topic that I was constrained to contribute my own quota. My contribution is this: If you want to get married via court wedding alone, then go ahead and do that. And once you are done, you are legally husband and wife. And you can chop yourselves all you like. But if you also intend to do the traditional wedding and the white wedding after this, then fulfil all the rites - fulfil all righteousness - finish all the weddings before you start making love, else you are deceiving yourself. If you make love to your wife after the traditional wedding before coming to stand before the holy altar at the Church wedding and ask for God's blessings, God will not bless you honestly. Cos he knows that you are already husband and wife, so you do not meet the requirements for a Church wedding. After all when you stand before God at the altar, it is assumed that you have not touched your wife before, and the priest or preacher after saying everything hands the woman to the man as husband and wife. But if you have already been sleeping with yourselves, then why waste your time and come for a deceptive ceremony. You can't deceive God. Though this does not mean that God does not recognise a previous ceremony such as the family/traditional wedding. God will still honour the man and his wife if they get married via the family/traditional way or the court way. But if you are Christian, why rob yourselves of the blessings that God can impart to your spirit and your spouses' through the preacher and brethren in a Church wedding. Those who were talking about Abraham and Jacob's time should remember that they did not touch their wives until they completed ALL the rites for the ceremony they were used to, which was a single ceremony i.e. family or traditional wedding. There was no Church wedding in their day else they would have done it too before touching their wives.So if you want to do a court wedding alone. Then do it and start enjoying yourselves. And God will still bless you. But if you are Christian, why rob yourselves of the blessings that God can impart to your spirit and your spouses' through the preacher and brethren in a Church wedding. If you want to do court, family/traditional, and Church wedding, then do all of them before enjoying yourselves because each of these ceremonies are done on the premise that both the groom and the bride have never touched themselves before. Thanks.  |
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kamikaze (m)
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If you make love to your wife after the traditional wedding before coming to stand before the holy altar at the Church wedding and ask for God's blessings, God will not bless you honestly. Cos he knows that you are already husband and wife, so you do not meet the requirements for a Church wedding. After all when you stand before God at the altar, it is assumed that you have not touched your wife before, and the priest or preacher after saying everything hands the woman to the man as husband and wife. But if you have already been sleeping with yourselves, then why waste your time and come for a deceptive ceremony. You can't deceive God. Though this does not mean that God does not recognise a previous ceremony such as the family/traditional wedding. God will still honour the man and his wife if they get married via the family/traditional way or the court way. But if you are Christian, why rob yourselves of the blessings that God can impart to your spirit and your spouses' through the preacher and brethren in a Church wedding. JAaxton I can't help point out the folly in your reasoning there. So the only place God can bless your marriage is in church? So a legally married man and woman can't ask God for blessing after their wedding? You are such a joker! Why talk through the side of your mouth? If traditional marriage or registry is valid then its valid for all purposes and God respects that and will bless them right in the middle of the trad process as well as in church. Dont call God if you don't know HIM |
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Damoche10
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Why not? What is the difference in blessing in the church and the traditional? For u to have done it
you can go all the way jo. It isn't fornication abeg!
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Dalby (m)
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Is somebody saying that our fore fathers / Mothers are fornicators??? That our fore fathers / Mothers will not go to heaven because they were not born again. Lets stop deceiving ourselves  |
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justwater
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let every man \woman be persuaded in his /her heart for God is not mocked  |
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ibrahiem (m)
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then why call it wedding,they should have change it to something else, like community's acknowledgement of couples  |
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dafidixone (m)
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As much as Islam permits men to have up till four wives, Allah says in the Holy Qur'an:
Al-Qur'an (4:3) If you deem it best for the orphans, you may marry their mothers - you may marry two, three, or four. If you fear lest you become unfair, then you shall be content with only one, or with what you already have. Additionally, you are thus more likely to avoid financial hardship.
But in common life, usually the first part in the above quote from the Qur'an is omitted and what we hear is stated below:
"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one." Al-Qur`an (4:3)
I suggest you wait for other issues as your contribution may bring confusion and make this thread to loose value. I think Islamic marriage is another topic entirely. Sorry I don't mean to any bad to you, I just feel we must treat one issue at a time on this forum. Thanks and God bless |
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yemivictor (m)
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From iyes to yemivictor: (post #105, page 4) There's no place for "pastoral blessing" as a pre-requisite for a valid marriage!
We Nigerian (Christians) have elevated the position of our pastors beyond the reasonable, and sometimes, substituted them for GOD! This is to the extent that many will not test whatever any pastor tells them with reason or scripture, but act gullibly. The only justification good enough for them is "my pastor says so"
Who is a pastor when it comes to the issue of marriage? What powers or say has he/she in the matter? I pity so many of my brethren, some go to the extent that their pastors make choices of who to date and marry for them! No matter how much they loathe somebody, if the pastor says "marry him/her (i.e. compels them, even against the bride's parental consent) they dare not disagree.
Abeg, don't say such things again. Read my lips: PASTORS DO NOT HAVE ANY ROLE IN VALID MARRIAGES any more than your friends, colleagues and any other acquaintances.
PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE @ iyes,
I beg to differ with you slightly on your post above because if you go back to the topic, it places emphasis on the UNION between a CHRISTIAN COUPLE!
Now, it is not a question of you equating your pastor with God. Rather, it is a question of you doing what is RIGHT as a CHRISTIAN COUPLE!
You ask who a pastor is when it comes to the issue of marriage and i'll tell you. A pastor symbolizes divine and spiritual authority in the issue of a wedding ceremony between a CHRISTIAN COUPLE, plain and simple!
What you said about some pastors choosing whom to date/marry for some people is a different kettle of fish entirely!
DO NOT BE DECEIVED! PASTORS DO HAVE A ROLE TO PLAY IN WEDDING CEREMONIES BETWEEN CHRISTIAN COUPLES! Be it at the level of engagement/traditional wedding (It doesn't have to be in a church o!)I agree with Iyes, no need to say more as he's said it all. Q: what about the people that can't afford the church wedding immediately after the traditional and choose to wait for months or years? They can't chop? taaaaaaaaaaa
You try being married and waiting.@ Lady, (post #106),
All i have to say to you is; next time, read carefully before you support people blindly!
Now, go back to my previous post on page 3 of this thread and read what i said, if it is any different from your views above! time waster! [/ |
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trukoments (m)
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Re: Lovemaking After Traditional Wedding Only: Is This Fornication?
« #62 on: Yesterday at 02:08:14 PM »
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! Colonial mentality at it's peak, the only place on earth where people do two marriages is in Southern Nigeria * I stand to be corrected *.
We do not value our Languages
We do not value our customs
We are ashamed of our president when he's on Traditional wear
We talk bad about our own system of marriage
Tell me why God can not be angry with a people that does not value all he gave them? because according to us everything God gave us as a race is evil. Even our own traditional marriage? guys please wake up!!! too many grammars but no wisdom!! I've heard people say in this very forum that traditional chieftancy titles are evil this is complete madness, people believe that the term "traditional" connotes evil
Where is our pride as a people? with the level of insanity i am witnessing here then i will say "inside the dustbin of course!!"
The person who sent this is a completely wise person
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carpenter (m)
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Once the parents give their blessings and handed over the lady after the traditional wedding, that is marriage , ; all the rest na just ceremony,
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akpanbaba
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For GOD sake what are you people chopping?.ALL OF YOU THAT CHOPPED AFTER TRADITIONAL WEDDING SHOULD COME FOR 6MONTHS SUSPENSION.THE MAN OF GOD IS HIGHLY ANNOYED FOR CHOPPING WITHOUT AUTHORITY.
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coded guy (m)
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We here, we do traditional and church wedding, Because we were colonized, we wan do traditional and church, just to please both the white man's tradition handed to us and not to forsake our own tradition. Talk of double minds.
ONe question please, Does the whiteman do traditional wedding? i think not.
You can chop the abuna after traditional wedding, period!!!!!!!!!!!
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echelon (m)
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@topic
It's not fornication
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fakande (m)
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It depends on how you look at it. During this ceremonies, prayers are offered up to some form of religiious divinities. If you are a christian and the elder who oversaw the ceremony prayed in the name of Jesus, then methinks you are validly wedded. But if you subscribe to the christian faith but prayers were offered to such gods as Ogun, Obatala, Sango, Amadioha, etc during the traditional wedding, then you might want to retake your vows in a church or before a man of the cloth.
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dafidixone (m)
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It depends on how you look at it. During this ceremonies, prayers are offered up to some form of religiious divinities. If you are a christian and the elder who oversaw the ceremony prayed in the name of Jesus, then methinks you are validly wedded. But if you subscribe to the christian faith but prayers were offered to such gods as Ogun, Obatala, Sango, Amadioha, etc during the traditional wedding, then you might want to retake your vows in a church or before a man of the cloth. You are right! |
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7th Mikel (m)
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It is not wrong at all, marriage is not the ceremony done for or on behalf of the couple, it goes beyond that it is a thing of the mind betwwen the couple, do they willingly submit to each other or have they been blackmailed to or coerced to, then the parental consent, that is what God recognises. Whether it was a pastor, an imam, or a babalawo that prayed at the ceremony is of less concern to God. It is the state of your mind to your spouse that matters, if your mind has conjugally agreed to hers or not.
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pilgrim.1 (f)
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People, . . . make una wait small. Perhaps we need to once again enunciate how a marriage is legalized. |
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coolkaboom (m)
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in fact, i f u be my brothr and i found out that u never de be (touch-down) before d intoduction ceremony, i no go put hand.all previous discussions stand annulled.what-if u go through with it only to find out that you're both blattantly in-compatible.d love go evaporate quik quik.
my candid advice; look before u plunge, or plunge before u keep.
it might not be a popular opinion, but fashi d prententious considerations and do what makes practical sense. word
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pilgrim.1 (f)
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i think you guys should see this website.im sure you will be glad you checked it out.x Another money-making scheme? How does it relate with "TW" (traditional wedding)? |
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BillGatesFan (m)
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@davidylan: Before the advent of the White missionary journey what was the means of marriage in Africa? What the Hell are you talking about? Are you saying that Traditional marriage has no VALUE anymore in our African traditions and CULTUERE? In the Olden days there was nothing like Church and Court Weddings, so Why all this NONSENSE TALK ABOUT CHURCH WEDDING?
I will simply ask you to please STOP Minimizing,insulting and provoking we Real Africans.Our Cultures has come to Stay and No one Not even Lusifer himself can stop our African culture,after the traditional wedding the lady in question is yours for enjoying and child bearing, if she and anyone else don't want to RESPECT that tradition then she has no choice than to go and marry white men with their white,dirty,useless,Fornication culture? Nonsense
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coolkaboom (m)
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meanwhile, back to d post, it's allsaid and done about religion.traditional marriage is perfectly okay to hav unrestricted access to coitus.after-all, if, by some coincidence of history na we colonise oyinbo people, na Obatala and Omadioha all man 4 de worship too. Our own religious or traditional practises shouldn't be given less prominence to christianity or Islam.
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hinduism (m)
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I wonder why Africans don't Value and respect their cultures and traditions,God is not stupid to give every continent,country and village their respective culture and traditions. Stop allowing the WEST to brainwash you Africa.
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pilgrim.1 (f)
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Stop allowing the WEST to brainwash you Africa. We're not talking "brainwash" at the moment - that's why we're seeking to understand what exactly makes a transaction legally "marriage". Is it the. . . . . . . ( care to fill in the blanks?)  |
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Guchis (f)
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Just do whatever makes you comfortable. If you're OK with the trad marriage, fine, enjoy marital rights. If u're not, go ahead and do the white wedding or better still, go for Church blessing to save cost.
It's the marriage/union itself that matters, not some ceremony/party.
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wesleymof
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The marriage has been enacted immediately the father of the bride (traditional wedding) gives the hand of the his daughter to the groom (man). That is what the Bible says any other thing is a man created doctrine. A lot of divorce cases are in the Church today because Christians are over riding the word of the Bible to do what they seems to be righteous to them, no matter how anointed the pastor should be he has no right to join a marriage that the Father-In-Law has not joined which is an direct ordinance of God. Marriage is the Traditional wedding!
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