If You Were The President Of Nigeria.

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Date: December 04, 2008, 11:17 PM
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Nairaland Forum  |  General Discussion  |  Politics  |  If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
Poll
Question: WHO IS YOUR PRESIDENT? NO RIGGING PLEASE
TOSHMANN - 2 (10.5%)
NOETIC - 4 (21.1%)
ADAMUGO - 1 (5.3%)
FAKETAN - 6 (31.6%)
I-MAN - 4 (21.1%)
DAVIDYLAN - 2 (10.5%)
URYSPY - 0 (0%)
TOYINRAYO - 0 (0%)
Total Votes: 19

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Author Topic: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.  (Read 1809 views)
faketan (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #96 on: January 13, 2008, 08:32 PM »

hahahaa Toshnwanyi for president?

na wa o! what a manifesto. Women be careful ohhhhhhh
noetic (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #97 on: January 13, 2008, 08:34 PM »

Quote from: toshmann on January 13, 2008, 08:13 PM
i will be a very good leader like abacha
we suspected all along

Quote from: toshmann on January 13, 2008, 08:13 PM

having examined all the candidates in the race
having perused their manifestos (if any)

what do u have to offer?


Quote from: toshmann on January 13, 2008, 08:13 PM

having assessed myself

 when? Cool

Quote from: toshmann on January 13, 2008, 08:13 PM
do hereby conclude as follows:
that I remain the best candidate for this office
says who? Grin

Quote from: toshmann on January 13, 2008, 08:13 PM
that i will change the lives of our people forever
like Adolf Hitler and Abacha Cool

Quote from: toshmann on January 13, 2008, 08:13 PM
that I will enhance freedom of speach for all nigerians

we don hear u Huh

Quote from: toshmann on January 13, 2008, 08:13 PM
that i will introduce benefits for guys/babes who are hooked up
that i will encourage partying for our youth.

good idea, , , ,
courtesy of u Hiv/Aids will be massive. and u will produce a generation of lazy nigerians

Quote from: toshmann on January 13, 2008, 08:13 PM
justice shall be my watch word. . . therefore . . .
and so what? Huh

Quote
any babe that refuses an innocent chyking shall be punished
good idea, more of this.

Quote
more of my manifestoes will be coming up soonest
we expect more jargons

Quote
I salute Toshmann, I salute beautiful women,
 I salute my campaign
Hip hip hip . . . . . OKPEKEEEEEE

we don c u, , , , dey gooooooooooooo Huh
faketan (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #98 on: January 13, 2008, 09:20 PM »

Quote from: noetic on January 13, 2008, 08:34 PM
we suspected all along

what do u have to offer?


 when? Cool
says who? Grin
like Adolf Hitler and Abacha Cool

we don hear u Huh

good idea, , , ,
courtesy of u Hiv/Aids will be massive. and u will produce a generation of lazy nigerians
and so what? Huh
good idea, more of this.
we expect more jargons

we don c u, , , , dey gooooooooooooo Huh


Tosh what a response to your manifesto?
toshmann (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #99 on: January 13, 2008, 11:21 PM »

my political opponents have started a campaign of calumny against me. but let me say this, we shall prevail. all opposition will be crushed. i have a divine mandate to bring peace to nairaland. we need a detribalised nairalanda.

toshmann for president. there shall be no more banning. banning shall be banned. i'll spread technology across nigeria. every child shall have one laptop, one mp3, one ipod, game of their choice, and digital tv for all school children offering at least 300 channels.

for the ladies, i shall promote liberal fashion week. every month.
for the men, i reduce the price of beer. . . . . and condomsand benefits for guys who have babes

for the crimnals, i shall increase the number of prisons
for the dead ones among you, i shall improve the  mortuaries

my govt shall be all inclusive. everybody shall participate, men, women, children, elderly, criminals, dead men and women, mentally deranged men and women, ashawos, juju men, everybody is somebody and toshmann is king Cool

nigerians say toshtosh . . tosh . . . toshmann Cool

T antalising
Outstanding
Sexy
Handsome
Macho
Adorable
Neat
Nigeria 

don't miss this opportunity, don't waste ya vote, vote toshmann before he changes his mind.
faketan (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #100 on: January 13, 2008, 11:29 PM »


Quote from: toshmann on January 13, 2008, 11:21 PM
my political opponents have started a campaign of calumny against me. but let me say this, we shall prevail. all opposition will be crushed. i have a divine mandate to bring peace to nairaland. we need a detribalised nairalanda.

toshmann for president. there shall be no more banning. banning shall be banned. i'll spread technology across nigeria. every child shall have one laptop, one mp3, one ipod, game of their choice, and digital tv for all school children offering at least 300 channels.

for the ladies, i shall promote liberal fashion week. every month.
for the men, i reduce the price of beer. . . . . and condomsand benefits for guys who have babes

for the crimnals, i shall increase the number of prisons
for the dead ones among you, i shall improve the mortuaries

my govt shall be all inclusive. everybody shall participate, men, women, children, elderly, criminals, dead men and women, mentally deranged men and women, ashawos, juju men, everybody is somebody and toshmann is king Cool

nigerians say toshtosh . . tosh . . . toshmann Cool

T antalising
Outstanding
Sexy
Handsome
Macho
Adorable
Neat
Nigeria

don't miss this opportunity, don't waste ya vote, vote toshmann before he changes his mind.

Tosh for president
Donald Duke for presidency.
stillwater (f)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #101 on: January 14, 2008, 02:55 AM »

Quote from: faketan on January 13, 2008, 08:32 PM
hahahaa Toshnwanyi for president?

na wa o! what a manifesto. Women be careful ohhhhhhh

That is why i'm here to prevent all favouritism given to the men folk. Cool Cool


Quote from: toshmann on January 13, 2008, 08:13 PM
ABRACADABRA 2008


I Dr Engr Barr General Prince Toshmann Nwa Mama. . . the great, the Ist, the Dude, the brainy
having examined all the candidates in the race
having perused their manifestos (if any)
having assessed myself
do hereby conclude as follows:
that I remain the best candidate for this office(which office?)
that i will change the lives of our people forever
that I will enhance freedom of speach for all nigerians
that i will encourage a peaceful environment that will help our people to socialise fully
that i will introduce benefits for guys/babes who are hooked up
that i will encourage partying for our youth.
justice shall be my watch word. . . therefore . . .
any babe that refuses an innocent chyking shall be punished
more of my manifestoes will be coming up soonest
 I salute Toshmann, I salute beautiful women,
 I salute my campaign
Hip hip hip . . . . . OKPEKEEEEEE

 If anyone could remember, my number one priority was to castrate all perverts and imprison them.

I hereby stretch my governmental powers to presidential candidates (if found guilty). They, I repeat they shall not be left out of this sexual cleansing Cool Cool
The Sly
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #102 on: January 14, 2008, 03:52 AM »

The Quest continues!. . . .  Cool


My people,for how long would it take y'all  to start leading instead of always willing to follow with eyes all obstructed with absurdity. . . .  Undecided




My vision for our noble country is enormous and will only be executed if you could give all the necessary support to the one and only (SLY) Cool

S: Smart to an unprecedented rate! Cool
L: Loving  Cool
Y: Young  Cool


don't be deceived by sum fakesomethin  Tongue . . . .davidsomethin  Tongue ' . . .toshsomethin  Tongue .  . .


Vote for the right person. . . .Vote for *sly*  Cool

and i promise to make a positive impact in your life!  Cool


Stable uninterrupted electricity. . .(though the price might be VERY!! high)  Cheesy

Good roads. . . . . .

Stable water supply. . .


Free education like never before, talking about not having to pay a cent in the higher institution! (now what u think about that? splendid isn't it?)  Cool

Every broke ass unemployed citizens will be gettin' paid!  Cool


No more Old ass taxi's on the street!, i will make sure that the smallest cab in town would be  Toyota Camry 2006. . .  Cool

perverts will be encouraged!  Cool

ITs time to say yes!,my people, its time to claim what is your right!

May God bless u all and i promise you thatyour life will be transformed tremendously if you know what is right to do!


SLY 2008the righteous man  Cool


Thanks! Cool
toyinrayo (f)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #103 on: January 14, 2008, 03:55 AM »

LMFAO. . . .sly, ogbadun. . you're not serious sef   Cheesy
The Sly
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #104 on: January 14, 2008, 04:02 AM »

They say u never kno what u have until u loose it. . . Cool


a word they say is enough for the wise  Cool


Vote for SLY. . . . and see the dirty streets of lagos being transformed to the likes of LAs Vegas!. . .Paris among others  Cool

he's a God sent. . . . Cool

thanks!  Cool
stillwater (f)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #105 on: January 14, 2008, 04:07 AM »

@sly

Quote
perverts will be encouraged!

Don't try me boy eh eh eh Angry Cool

A word they say is enough for the wise Cool
The Sly
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #106 on: January 14, 2008, 04:11 AM »

stillwater


lets see Cool. . . . .and do cast ur vote for the righteous,smart and the most intelligent being in the whole naija Sly. . .don't forget that!. . . .  Cool
toyinrayo (f)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #107 on: January 14, 2008, 04:13 AM »

Vote for me. . . . i won't steal your money. . . that's reason enough  Grin
faketan (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #108 on: January 14, 2008, 04:13 AM »

Stilwater
You better be serious if not the likes of Tosh will accend the throne and you know what will happen to everywoman on the street.

Toyinrayo:

Please tell us what you will do when we elect you. We want your opinion pleaseeeeeeee tell us more. What will you do with the money?

Will you just leave the money so that the foreign reserve will be increasing while the people suffer. ($51BN at the moment)
toyinrayo (f)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #109 on: January 14, 2008, 04:15 AM »

Ok. ,  . i'll never dissapoint youi'll keep your money in my account in other to keep it safe. . .  Cool from robbers
faketan (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #110 on: January 14, 2008, 04:17 AM »

Quote from: toyinrayo on January 14, 2008, 04:15 AM
Ok. , . i'll never dissapoint youi'll keep your money in my account in other to keep it safe. . . Cool from robbers

Noooooo Smiley we will starve to death
toyinrayo (f)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #111 on: January 14, 2008, 04:20 AM »

Quote from: faketan on January 14, 2008, 04:17 AM
Noooooo Smiley we will starve to death

ohh yea. . . i wasn't done. i have my servant, SLY, who'll take care of the economic problem
faketan (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #112 on: January 14, 2008, 04:23 AM »

Quote from: toyinrayo on January 14, 2008, 04:20 AM
ohh yea. . . i wasn't done. i have my servant, SLY, who'll take care of the economic problem

he is rather an aspirant. Are you guys teaming up?

Meanwhile he has plan for lagos alone.
The Sly
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #113 on: January 14, 2008, 04:24 AM »

Toyin!

Patricia Olubunmi O. Etteh in disguise, we are very sorry,we do not want another round of wrestling and boxing in the history of our nation's politics. . .

Nothin for u. . . . . . .  Cool

my political ambition is so obviouswhat are u still waiting for. .  Angry
 


                                                               next!  Cool
toyinrayo (f)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #114 on: January 14, 2008, 04:27 AM »

Quote from: ~Sly~(*_*) on January 14, 2008, 03:52 AM

perverts will be encouraged!  Cool



LOLso you who wants to encourage the perverts nko? think of all those innocent children  Cry statutory rape  Cry Cry
faketan (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #115 on: January 14, 2008, 04:30 AM »

no way or perverts. Anti-pervert minister

Madam Stillwater is still around
toyinrayo (f)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #116 on: January 14, 2008, 04:33 AM »

so sly is out of the picture  Grin now, tommorow, i'll make my heartwarming speech  Grin
The Sly
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #117 on: January 14, 2008, 04:36 AM »

Toyin!

well. . . .that is what u don't know about politics and i'll be happy to elucidate  Cool

   that would only serve as one of our nation's tourist attraction. . . . Cool

                                                                         
The Sly
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #118 on: January 14, 2008, 04:38 AM »

do what is right!  Cool and say no to fake people  Cool
toyinrayo (f)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #119 on: January 14, 2008, 04:43 AM »

Quote from: ~Sly~(*_*) on January 14, 2008, 04:38 AM
do what is right!  Cool and say no to fake people  Cool
so say no to SLY  Grin
The Sly
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #120 on: January 14, 2008, 04:51 AM »

Toyin
 just don't worry. . . .incase u lost the battle, there is still hope for you!  Cool
. . . . be easy  Cool. . . . u could be one of my cook  Cheesy in aso rock when I'm finally the #1 citizen of nigeria. . . I'm sure ull be a good cook Cheesy




                   next!  Cool
toyinrayo (f)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #121 on: January 14, 2008, 04:53 AM »

LOL. . . if your wishes were horsesi feel sorry for the human population Embarrassed
The Sly
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #122 on: January 14, 2008, 04:55 AM »

we shall see. . . .  Cool
noetic (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #123 on: January 14, 2008, 02:22 PM »

fellow Nigerians

don't be decieved Huh
We cannot afford to mortgage the future .  . . . . . . . . there are so many political jobbers, marabounding as angels. Shocked


S-slow
L- lier
Y-yearn to embezzle more


Toyinrayo- another patrica Etteh in disguise

I-Man- PTF scandal, Pluto Fund (so many skeletons in his cupboard)

Toshmann- no expirience, no academic qualification (except toronto). he is a former soap maker.

Fello Nigerians, I promise to fight corruption, infact I will start from my opponents,
I will privatise EFCC, and buy it through my pretege, that way all my opponents will land in jain.

Vote Expirience, Vote Youth,
Support a Brighter Tommorow
Vote Noetic2008.
faketan (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #124 on: January 14, 2008, 03:15 PM »

Hey Guys I am enjoying this thread.

I suggest that we should please make one serious post about the topic (if we have not) before we go ahead with our obamanisation and clintonising of the posts. Smiley

toshmann (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #125 on: January 14, 2008, 03:32 PM »

they have said i have no experience. . . but all those who claim to have experience are the ones who we should vote out. because they are the ones who have devastated our nation. the have enough experience in nation destruction. we need fresh minds, fresh faces, fresh ideas etc

the time is now . . . the goal is progress. . . . vote for change . .

for the Niger-Delta, we shall establish the Niger Delta Development Initiative. NDDI. This is going to be an intergrated aproach to the niger delta guestion.
I. we shall restore peace, law and order to the Niger-Delta. this we shall accomplish by introducing 3,000 hot babes to the niger-delta. all militants will be encouraged to give up their arms and anyone who gives up his guns will be awarded 2 hot babes and 3 packs of condoms free. the idea is that this will help reduce the spate of violence in the niger-delta, bring peace and attract oil workers and oil companies.

2. we shall use sweet looking hot babes to raise awareness of the bad situation in the niger-delta. the BBC/CNN always use angry looking militants to show the niger-delta but we need to let the world know that there are good looking babes from the niger-delta, that way the world will react sharp sharp to remove the injustice. . . oil companies return, economy grows, violence dies. . development fires on

3. we shall employ hot mini skirt wearing chicks to promote education of the nation. education is vital for national growth and we shall use these role models to push this through

ladies and gentlemen, this is time for change, we need to try a new approach to problem solving. nigeria is too great to be wasted . . .vote toshmann now

toshmann. . . . a man of the ladies people
faketan (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #126 on: January 14, 2008, 04:11 PM »

Tosh na only you for the ladies.
'Abali agba aka'. Help me interprete this in English as you really know what means.
tufe (m)
Re: If You Were The President Of Nigeria.
« #127 on: January 14, 2008, 04:31 PM »

if i were the president, wetin abacha and babangida do together go be small thing for my side
 Gun Battle in Oyo State Assembly? Wow!  Who Is Responsible For Nigeria's Decay?  $18 Billion Debt Relief Package for Nigeria!  Page 2
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