Whats Wrong With My Relationship? Help Me!

Help!!! 

I don’t really know what’s wrong with my relationship, I need your assistance.

To brief what is actually going on, my girl showed me true love until I trusted her 100% and then I realise she sometimes lie to me. I found out that she was keeping another guy outside there that she doesn’t want me to know.

I begun to sense it because I see him come see her some days, but I was just suspecting that they have something running! So, I decided to clear my doubts and ask her if she is actually keeping another man outside. She said no, he's just a friend! -- I accepted it like that!

With time, I saw his text in her phone, he wrote “my love” in the text  . I asked her why he has to write all this crazy text messages to her. He is in love with her but she rejects him was her reply. 

So, I said she better do that because I don’t like games (because she's the one I wish to Marry Her).

After some weeks, I couldn’t satisfy my curiosity so I was checking her phone again.

I saw a text she sent him, she was writing please come to my house I want to see you, I need you. -- I showed her the text and asked why? She was idle and silent! – After a while  she said, it was because he's been asking her out for long while she rejects and she's afraid he could be so bad to attend to "Babalawo!" thats why she's showing him like she love him, but she doest it.

She was shedding tears  , tell me that its me she wants. She doesn’t keep any one else!

I then said why? "Why my love?" was my statement,  I then said it's OK, if she doest want him she shouldn’t play him. I asked if she wants something from him, she said no,  So, we talked and talked,  I give up it because I had no option.

Since then, she kept me confused by making things so complicated for me to understand. But I had to escape that from my mind because I really love her!

Just two days after that, a neighbour of mine told me he saw my girl at a party inside someone's car kissing! (I don’t know whether its the same guy) My neighbour had some witnesses, so I can’t deny it. Besides, he's someone I trust and believe will not tell me lies,    -- That night, the earth could not carry me!

(To cut things short)*

So, I approached her and with few little conversations that shows its true. She confessed and said she just give the guy a peck and it was not the same guy, this one was her friend. I know its not just a peck because that was not what I was told, but because I love her  I had to forgive her and warn her that things like this shouldn’t happen again.

All that while, my life suddenly changes. I can't enjoy anything,  Not even my friends could keep me happy,  I can’t watch TV and be happy; I can’t spend few hours with my family to have fun!

I only want to go and see her day after day yet I feel more and more sad, because I always think and think.

Suddenly one day he called her while I was sitting with her their house, I didn’t know he was the one. So, after a while she began to pretend her stomach is aching and she needs to enter the house and take a rest. I had to pardon her even though I wanted to talk more with her,

I went home and suddenly I realised I left my keys in her house. I called her number to ask her to check my keys. Suddenly, her sister picked and said my girl wasn’t there in the house. I was shocked  because the time was after 10pm! - So I rushed to her house and WOW its true she's out! - I picked my keys and was on my way out of their house and there she was with the guy in his car behind their house!

Men this is though for me to take,  I waited till the next day before I talked to her about it. She wanted to deny it, but I told her I saw her my self and I even describe what I saw. She said yes she was with him, but she didnt stay long. Besides they aren’t talking about anything.

{Hmm,  How do you expect me to believe that?}

 So, I asked her again if she loves him or not. This time around she said she online like him and that’s all.  Its me she loves! (can you believe that)

(HOT in me!) - I was sweating,  Now you like him,  IC, I demand she leave him right a way! - She said NO, she can't just send him away for nothing. I said ok, I am now nothing! She said no, its just that she can't do it.

I demand she choose me or him.

I left her for 5days; no call no text no visit. - She did the same thing, she ignored me to.

I had to go and see her after, I asked why she didn’t even respond to me. She said she wanted to see if I really love her, she knows I will comeback. I was OH that’s it, ok do as you wish. But I love you, nothing can change that. 

Today, I am from her house and she doesn’t want me to talk about our early happy times. She said she feels bad, and she needs to go in. I was like WOW, you don’t want to remember our good times? She said she just want to enter inside.

I said I am not going no where,  I will stay.

I couldn’t believe it,  She then walked away from me.

I called her sister and complained; we talked and talked with her sister. I then have to go home; suddenly I saw the guy’s car packed outside. My girl was with him! -- I waited until they are over, that was around past 11pm.

I called her and said thank you for showing me you are really with him,  Now I see he has more value than I do, she said it’s not like that,  I then asked what ist? She said I don’t know! 

I then said, may GOD punish you and I will never forgive you,  I walked home.

Please I need assistance and suggestions, should I quit this relationship or not? I really love her. Please help!

@poster

I don't think it is called "LOVE". She cheats on you; not into you; not serious committed with you; and she is player!!! It is sick that she has multiple male partners more than one.

 It sound like she is a prostitute to me!!! She do not know the meaning of "relationship", "committment" and "marriage". Because she keep saying "i don't know" when u ask her if she loves you seriously or not!!!!

It is up to you to remain love her and marry her but as of result you will end up unhappy marriage because she will do continue non-stop seeing different men once she is your wife.

Are you sure that she is the RIGHT ONE for your futre wife? Check out the following link at below:

10 Insights You should take steps into serious relationship before you get marry her/him
http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-95533.0.html

Thanks,   

The thing is that I am addicted to her, I love her with all my heart. I never loved someone before, I give her total submission and trust! I always endup going to see her everyday! - Now its hard for me to just leave her one time.

Like I've said, I took 5days with no calls, no visits, no even text messages. Those days where tough for me, I spend the whole day thinking of her. I can't even eat and enjoy my meal, everythings seams misserable to me. I only sit down and cry out my tears of pain!

Tears I've shed could fill a bucket,    -- She rule my life, I don't know what to do!

Just now I called her, she rejected my calls over and over before she pickedup finally and said "I thought you said you will never forgive me!". I was poissoned to say I am sorry while she was to say that to me. Yet she said she wants to talk with a friend and sleep, we shall talk tomorrow!

Now I don't know what to do,  I just have to wait tomorow,  I only told her over the phone, she should forget I said those words and I don't care whether she's keeping him or not "I LOVE YOU" was my statement,  I can't believe its me like this. I am blind!

Over the phone, she even wanted to quit the relationship as I heard her say its over.  But I just said I am sorry, things will be good.

bro better believe it is over and move on with your life. it is sad but face the truth. your life is better without people like this heartless girl.

you will get over it.

Flirty
Disrespectful
Heartless
Inconsiderate
Immature

If these are the qualities you want in a wife, she's the one for you.

But this is my honest opinion, she doesn't love you. Please don't wait till she disgraces you in public, leave her alone and  move on. Do not make the mistake of calling her again, because she might say words that might break you into two.


_{So Nigerian guys can fall in love}

Sorry ehn!

sorry dude, but you cannot change someone. you can only change yourself. no matter what you do or say or threaten/promise you cannot force her to change that is something she has to want to do, but it does not sound like she will. y can't u afford loosing this gurl? jus because u never love before n u when fall hard this time no mean that u cannot heal wit time and move on. besides u get time what is the rush to fall in love n get married anyways?

@ rufaai: please quit the " my life is over, i can't live without her" lamentations! haba, ur a man.  its one thing to love and its another thing for the love to be reciprocated, in ur case she clearly does not appreciate the fact u can walk through fire for her. move on  and save ur love and devotion for smeone who will also give the world for u. cheers. 

@christiana; second chances are for those who truly understand what it means!

 :-x

Poster

sorry i couldnt read none of ur sh*! 

too damn long. . . u'll be a good poet! 

@ rufaai,
Aja to ba so nu, ko ni gbo fere olode. Meaning: A dog that wants to stray off, will never hearken to the whistle and voice of its owner.

I have been in your exact shoes, with the lady acting as your girlfriend is doing. Did I learn my lesson from it, oh yes I did and very painfully too. I will honestly tell you to quit that relationship!

@ poster,
long story. . . . .
if you can't read the writing on the wall,then i can't help you

do they still do izal back home?  this young man needs his brain cleaned and disinfected.
God help you

@ poster. I understand every bit of your feelings and pains because I was once in it. Lets face it, this girl doesnt worth spending a year with let alone a life time. Girls like that are in town now and we guys can't just help it. Beleive me, the girl is leaving u not for the guy but for the guy's car perhaps u don't have one.
Man mi, please move on with life, think big, aim high and project your objectives you will surely get to the top and find a better girl that knows your worth.

don't RUN. GO MAKE HER PREGNANT AND ENJOY THE MISERABLE LIFE YOU ARE HEADING TOWARDS.  YOU STILL HAVE NOT ANSWERED MY QUESTION.  HOW DID YOU GET YOUR BRAIN AND YOUR EMOTIONS TWISTED LIKE THIS? HOW OLD ARE YOU?