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stick2clem (m)
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sit him down and ask him, do we need to get married or not, hope his not into your ass.!! how many times you guys has had sex?? may be thats all he is all about, girl you need to know the real fact, does he always go out 2 seek 4 job?? i think u should know his mind more than us, if he has no plans for you, girl stand on your feet n move on, something about guys, they seems to be there self when there is no cash, as soon as his alife(money speaking) then you'll know the real man u've been fucking with for 7years, don't waste yor damn time feedin,clothing, this jobless ass, since aint kids between u guys, find out the real truth about what he got on mind for u, if he got no plan of getting a job or taking care of u, bullshit him n take care of your self with your salaries
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saintchi
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Dear, i know he loves you real good. But let him define the relationship. But if you ask me, I shall humbly recomend QUIT and make a meaning out of your life. Their are people out there who would have taken your hand in marriage but solong as that OBSTACLE remains there, you shall never make any head way. so QUIT before it is TOO LATE
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Pepeye (f)
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Dear, i know he loves you real good. But let him define the relationship. But if you ask me, I shall humbly recomend QUIT and make a meaning out of your life. Their are people out there who would have taken your hand in marriage but solong as that OBSTACLE remains there, you shall never make any head way. so QUIT before it is TOO LATE
Couldnt have said it better myself |
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ferdiii (m)
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Run to you? Women no no say wahala dey (Psaquare). Nigeria jaraga (Idris Abdulkareem)! Obj said na the guy papa jagara jaga, so mak these girls go look for Obj for marriage.
Jobless woman can't dump a guy oh. I don't think that is feasible. Meanwhile, what made this woman fell for this man in the first place??
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sir t
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@ POSTER
1.) Is your guy a graduate or what has he invested his life on? If your guy is a graduate with something upstairs, I will say both of you should seek God's favour instead of nairalanders advice in this matter. No graduate will like to remain jobless despite what he went through in school.
2.) But if otherwise, thai is, not a graduate, then when you met him, what is he doing ? Or you dated him 'because of ill gotten money he used to get then ( 'am not trying to abuse you, just a candid talk).
Finally, join hands with your guy and pray to God for a good job. However, if he has nothing to show for the little time he has spent on earth, then seek solace somewhere else.
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angel4lyf
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luk u ave stayed this looooooooooooong wit this relationship so u sld sit down n tlk 2 im because if he has no future den God doesnt want you to b 2gether so move on that is al u can do  |
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janami (f)
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7 years in a relationship does not necessarily mean courtship. i mean the part when he proposes, then u meet your families and so on. If he has not said anything to u about marriage then it is left for u to decide if u want to wait for him to pop the question or go for someone else who will pop the question to u sharp sharp.
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na2day? (m)
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@ poster LOL, 2008, your yr of fulfillment. is that your excuse to dump him?  |
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MISS WORLD (f)
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thanks for all the advise,,the guy has talked about marriage.he's a graduate, no job yet,full of ambition now, desperate to settle down, but no cash yet
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angelz
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nO ONE IS IN THE RELATIONSHP WITH You. DO URSEF A FAVOR N CONDUCT A CRITICAL ANALYSIS OF HIS EFFORT @ KEEPING THE RELATIONSHP. HAS HE MADE SPIRITED EFFORT TO SUSTAIN THE RELATIONSHP? HAS HE EVER WORK B4? WHAT ARE HIS EFFORT @ GETTIN A JOB? DID HE REALLY TRY OR WAS HIS EFFORT LAZY OR SELECTIVE. IS HE LOOKIN 4 A JOB THAT WILL PAY FAT OR IS HE READY TO DO STH 4 D MEAN TIME IRRESPECTIVE OF THE PAY. HAS HE TRY ODA MEANS OF SOURCIN 4 FUNDS. SUCH AS PETTY BUSINESS. IS HE ALWAZ CONCERN ABOUT HIS CONDITION OR HIS NOT BOTHERED? EVEN IF HE DOESN'T HAVE, HAS HE TRIED TO GIVE You STH B4?EVEN IF ITS LITTLE. WHT R HIS TOT CONCERNIN HIS FUTURE FAMILY? DOES HE SOUND LIKE ONE WHO HAS HOPE & ASPIRATIONS? OR IS HE EXPECTIN TO HIT IT ONES? THINK OF MORE QUESTNS You CAN ASK URSEF OR HIM TO DETERMINE UR NEXT LINE OF ACTION. AM MARRIED N I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE IN A RELATNSHP 4 LONG WTHOUT D HOPE OF MARRIAGE.
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MISS WORLD (f)
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
nO ONE IS IN THE RELATIONSHP WITH You. DO URSEF A FAVOR N CONDUCT A CRITICAL ANALYSIS OF HIS EFFORT @ KEEPING THE RELATIONSHP. HAS HE MADE SPIRITED EFFORT TO SUSTAIN THE RELATIONSHP? HAS HE EVER WORK B4? WHAT ARE HIS EFFORT @ GETTIN A JOB? DID HE REALLY TRY OR WAS HIS EFFORT LAZY OR SELECTIVE. IS HE LOOKIN 4 A JOB THAT WILL PAY FAT OR IS HE READY TO DO STH 4 D MEAN TIME IRRESPECTIVE OF THE PAY. HAS HE TRY ODA MEANS OF SOURCIN 4 FUNDS. SUCH AS PETTY BUSINESS. IS HE ALWAZ CONCERN ABOUT HIS CONDITION OR HIS NOT BOTHERED? EVEN IF HE DOESN'T HAVE, HAS HE TRIED TO GIVE You STH B4?EVEN IF ITS LITTLE. WHT R HIS TOT CONCERNIN HIS FUTURE FAMILY? DOES HE SOUND LIKE ONE WHO HAS HOPE & ASPIRATIONS? OR IS HE EXPECTIN TO HIT IT ONES? THINK OF MORE QUESTNS You CAN ASK URSEF OR HIM TO DETERMINE UR NEXT LINE OF ACTION. AM MARRIED N I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE IN A RELATNSHP 4 LONG WTHOUT D HOPE OF MARRIAGE.
thanks for those words, all you have saked about him ,,is positive, he has prospects,he's loving,ambitious,and willing to make great scarifices for me, some which he has done in the past, he has great plans to settle down soonest, but i need him to get a job first.
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D-reloaded (f)
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How come he now has ambitions between Jan 17 and Jan 23rd?
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turvy
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Baby, what are you still waiting for? E mi ti ja, mo bo lowo won! Move on to the next best thing. Men are not worth sacrificing your time and a dime for. She that has ear,  words of the elder! |
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luckybest (m)
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what i have to say is since you love him and u have deen with him for such long time u need not to run from him ,
what u have to do is to hold on to your faith and pray for breakthrough. because behinde every successfull man there must be a woman . so both of u must come together and make a new plan . and i pray that God will take control.
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dellynash (f)
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Hello, what annoys me most is that this your so call guy has no job and is not looking for a job either, no house, no plans haven't you heard of the saying God help those who help themselves? He hasn't made any efforts just sitting there eating your food, and enjoying your issue. Girlfriend wake up, that guy is too lazy and is out to exploit you because i can't understand how someone will be without a job for 10years. Has he search and did not find one?, I think the answer is he hasn't search because u will agree with me that no one can search for a job for 10years, and is impossible to find one. some men just like to take advantage over women who work, this is one of such cases. Good God 10years is too much time to waste, Just give the guy some two months if he doesn't get something doing then i suggest you give a chance to one of your toasters maybe that will make him work hard.[b][/b]
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skyone (m)
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DELIVERANCE: The key answer to the problem
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chimere (m)
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Hello MissWorld, I'd advice u to ask your guy to define your relationship CLEARLY[s][/s] You need to tell him how you feel deep inside and know his stand Its no use waiting for a guy if he can't see whats right in front of him If you turn down other "toasters", it should be for a reason-the future of you both- so I think its time u both have a talk, know his plans and try to reason from his own point of view, if it makes sense to you,then forge ahead, else QUIT and go find your hidden treasure  whistle n dixxie |
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mystikalb2 (m)
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keep on praying my dear, my god will see true
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Ujujoan (f)
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My dear you have to be sure of what you are waiting for? A guy without a job and no prospects! Ten years?. Honey time and tide waits for no man. Make a decision and make it fast. Personally, I don't think anyone is worth wating for. You can create happiness for yourself anwhere yo want to.
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faramola
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hey try some other guy but still kip the friendship nd let him know its because he,s so fruitless. You have really tried. Kudos to you! Ten years of your life in a fruitless relationship. He,s not moved forward nor backwards. please please please move on sista. u can kip the other guy just to spite him thats if u still want to give him another trial maybe he will wake up from his ten years of slumber. Orisirisi,
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domorehill
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Dear mrs world,
i will advice you to be fateful and supportful to your boyfriend,there is no were in the law of man that says the woman cannot handle the bills in the early stage,most ladies will not tell you what they went through,you have to know also that you may have lots of toasters as you claim,but how many do you think really want you for keep,i am a guy myself, am also in an 8 years relationship,the truth is a guy can toast 10 girls and will have 8 of those girls ready to marry him,provided he has a job and just a car,or a 3 bed room flat,but a woman may have 20 toaster and 19 of them just want to sleep with her,you must know this is true.
There is no single man out there,if you find any single bachelor out there above 28 years old i tell you he has a girl friends,a man without a girl friends is not doing well,have fate,you know the state of the Nigeria economy.
Stephen Oko ( DOMORE)
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cutebabe
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I suggest you go on a forty days fasting and Praying
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Lolabbey
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sister,wetin u stil dey wait 4?
abeg fly ,no run ooooo
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aisha2 (f)
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Stay with him. My Mother use to say what you can't get with patience you can get by force. If you love him and he is good to you, stay with him. Its a risk but it could be worth it. This is a very trying period for him, he knows his inefficiencies and believe it or not he would want to get a job and make you the happiest woman on earth if you saty. Is he a kind person, is he honest is he faithful, if he is all these then just hang on a little more. God dreams bigger dreams for us than we can ever dream for ourselves. I may not make sense and i have seen this topic for some time and i have not replied it but something pushed me to reply today, take care and good luck.
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ashaby (f)
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Honestly, poster can't say i blame u, because id really been through a 4-year stint of such nature with a guy who can't seems to make up his mind if he loves me or not. As u can guess, i got to pay all the bills. Now take this advice from a sister who has since it before: 1. SHINE YOUR EYES  2. RUN LIKE HELL 3. ELSE You'LL KEEP ON SHEDDING D TEARS |
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laudate
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I have read all the posts on this topic and am finally convinced what a relationship is all about. Its not about love, sex, romance or happiness. Its all about money, ambition and success of a man for a woman to l fall in love. No money no love. A woman only appreciates a man when he has got a job, nice car, nice flat and can buy her the finest things of life before she thinks she loves him. People have been advising the poster to run because her biological clock is ticking just because he has no money or job. But if he was mike adenuga's son, the girls on this forum will be telling the poster that she would be foolish to remotely think of leaving him. Its all about money, money and money and that's why i don't blame men for leaving girls when they are succesful because they deserve to be dumped based on their warped sense of thinking.
Women talk about feminism all day and the need for equality but deep down, they still like to cling on straws and the arms of a man who can support them. They are so selfish and think only of themselves and wellbeing and equate material success with love. How do you think the guy is feeling that he can't match up with other guys in terms of his financial standing? Staying with the poster for 7 years despite all his ups and down is enough for her to know that if he ever gets his footing someday, she would definately be the reciepient of the favours. A lot of rich people today who made it in life always stay with the one that suffered with them. The MKO'S, JIM OVIAS, THE IBRUS, THE ADENUGAS and likes of this world.
Women only want the immediate things of life right now to boast to their friends or families that "their bobo lives the yahooze dream" but never for once picture how 20 years from today will be. You talk about prospective toasters who want to marry her all because of the money and in 5 years time, when she's single, lonely, divorced and with 2 kids alone, the women on this forum will be shouting "Men are dogs" as if they werent the cause of their own misfortune or disaster in the relationship.
So my advice to you is if you really believe in your man's potential in the next 5 years and not today, stick with him and help him out. Behind every successful man is a woman and most men don't forget that. Dont listen to all this university girls that are all about the paparazzi now that in 5 years time they would be irrelevant, useless, lonely and divorced. They are only pushing you to join their club of chop today, cry tomorrow. Look inwards at your mans potential and reap the fruits with him. You never can tell, he could be the next governor of his state and there would only be one first lady then which is you. As for this goats advising you otherwise, trust me, your husband will be married to you and be fucking these bitches in future and throwing them #5,000 compensation while you own the house, the life, the key to his heart and the ring.
While your post has a lot of merit, I still can't help wondering if you took time out to read every word in the original poster's comments. Would you honestly give this same advice to your younger sister or daughter, if you had one? The truth is that for this woman, the relationship is not just about money like you claim, it is also about TIME!! For many women, life is like a market. Once it is evening, those who came to trade within the market pack their bags and go home. With all due respect, you can only speak for yourself when it comes to the issue of rewarding a girl who has stood by her guy, for 7 years. I have seen a case where a guy dated a lady on and off, for several years when he was broke. The lady stood by him, prayed for him, slept on the bare floor with him when he had nothing, and waited patiently for him to make a success of himself, without making demands on him. When things improved, and the issue of marriage came up, guess what the guy said to her: "You are too old. Did I make you any promises of marriage?" That was also when he brought up that flimsy excuse, that she didn't come from his ethnic group. My question was: How come he didn't realise all that before, when he was bad ass broke?  Another family objected to their son's girlfriend when he brought her home, simply because she was in her thirties. According to them she was too old for their son, despite the fact that their son was still at least four years older than her o! They wanted him to marry a fresh, twenty-something year old wey go quick born, well well, to use their own words. Meanwhile, the guy had dated this girl for almost 6 years o! Now, how is she going to start all over again? From where? As a woman grows older, her pool of suitors who are likely to find her attractive, grows smaller. It is a fact. Just look around you. So should she short-change herself by staying in a relationship with a guy who has no future ambition, neither has he made any plans to settle down with her? These days, commitment is not something a person says with the mouth. He must show it, in his actions. If he is serious, he could take a part-time job, or a contract employment, pending the time he gets something better. He could also pay for a room, instead of a 2-bedroom flat, if he can't afford something bigger. There must be motion, my brother. Not stagnancy. And this is what bothers the OP. Nothing seems to be moving in the guy's life, because he hasn't applied himself to work, and has NOT made solid plans that will enable him move forward. Put yourself in the girl's shoes. If na you, wetin you go do?  In some cases, yes. . . . . .the guy could go ahead to marry the lady even after several years. But the truth is that going by what I see around me, it is so rare. So speak for yourself only, man, when it comes to issues like this. The next guy down the street may not think the same way like you do, so don't vouch for the fact that he will remember her, when he hits the big bucks!  |
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D-reloaded (f)
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laudate, long time. Where have you been sef  You dey mind lawyer? I didnt even bother to reply because im sure it would have been filled with insults, knowing myself and all But as usual I agree with your post. Here's hoping he actually bothers to read and consider it. |
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MsCee (f)
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No Job, no nothing? The lord is really your strenght sister |
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jakaluju
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this 10 years of relationship posed some questions in my mind that you too should answer:
may be you did not define the end from the beginning or may be you were still young when you started or may be the guy already 'knew' you and is still knowing you and you enjoy it from time to time-if none of this is the issue,then whatever you try to do in 4 years without a proof to show and its not going in the right direction you must rethink-someone defined madness as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result-change your approach to life
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